i never asked to be saved [r], mortal instruments - Seren

[Serendipity]

He realised he hadn’t explained anything to Audrina about what was going on and what they needed to sort out, he didn’t know exactly what was going on himself. Well no, that was a lie, he could guess what was happening. This girl, whose name he didn’t know yet, was suggesting the impossible, and that he was her brother. None of it made sense, but that was why they had to sit down calmly and talk about it so they could both make sense of it all. There was just no way what she was claiming could be true; someone had either told her a very outrageous lie or it was possible that in her grief over losing her parents she had made all of this up in her head as a way of getting through her grief.

As he searched Audrina’s eyes before they moved towards the house he was sure he’d seen a flicker of some old haunting memory, and she was fighting to put her walls back up. He knew the signs, had come to know when she was hurting inside and it damn near broke his heart. He could only assume it had something to do with their new guest and her age, something about the girl reminding Audrina of her younger sister. He wanted to take her hand as they walked back towards the house, but she had picked up the bags dropped at her feet and was clinging to them too tightly for him to be able to slip his hand into hers.

Eli sighed inwardly, everything they had worked toward seemed to be unraveling quickly and he just hoped it was repairable this time around. He couldn’t lose her again to her own demons and have her withdraw from him and the world again. Eli would never give up on her, not again, and he’d always be there to help her through anything she needed to work through.

All three of them were silent as they walked up the front steps to the door, Eli grabbed the young girls bag from the stoop before he opened the door and held it open for the two females. The young brunette stepped through tentatively and gazed around but she didn’t move far from the inside of the door. Eli placed her bag down along with the few other bags he’d been holding off to the side for now, he could deal with them later. Before he could show the girl into the living room Audrina announced, in a half-whisper, that she would go and make some tea. He was aware that the kitchen had always been Audrina’s safe place, and she could keep herself busy by making tea or cooking.

He watched her go, torn between following her to make sure she was alright and reassure her that everything was going to be okay, and staying with the girl because she looked just as anxious as Audrina was. In the end he remained behind with the young girl who was claiming to be his sister because space was probably what Audrina needed right now anyway. “Let’s go into the living room, it’s this way.” Eli instructed and gestured towards the room off to the right, it’s bi-folding doors already open to let some of the warmth from the fire seep into the rest of the house, taking the chill off of the other rooms.

The girl followed quietly behind him as he led her into the living room and sat down in the middle section of the sofa, in front of the fireplace Eli immediately went to grabbing a couple of pieces of chopped wood to stoke the fire. He needed just a minute or two to figure out how to start the conversation he needed to have with girl off. When he turned back towards her, she was sitting with her hands folded on her lap, and her blue eyes had been watching him and they caught his gaze now. It was unnerving to look back into those eyes, the same eyes as his. She had the same dark hair too…

“What’s your name?” He asked gently, finding an easy starting point for the discussion ahead.

“Evelyn Singer.” The girl responded after a beat, her hands folding and unfolding in her lap, but her gaze never left his. He knew what she was doing; she was looking for similarities, as he had been doing the same thing, something to prove that he was her brother.

Eli sighed and ran his fingers through his hair slipping off his jacket he had forgotten to remove when they’d first came inside, it was suddenly growing very warm. He walked over to one of the arm chairs near by and hung the jacket over one arm before he sat down on the edge of the chair. He could hear the faint sound of Audrina moving around in the kitchen, reassuring him that she was keeping busy and hopefully keeping her mind off of whatever haunted memories she’d been having.

“I’m sorry about your parents.” He said. He might not know this girl, but he was sympathetic over the loss of her parents, he also knew what it was like to lose both parents however he’d always had his brother and had never been alone like she seemed to be. “That must have been tough. I lost both my parents too.” He offered and answered her early question.

“It is sad,” She nodded slowly. “I’m all alone. At least you had your brother.” Evelyn continued, causing Eli to sit up straighter, becoming a little uncomfortable. How did she know all of this? She’d known his name, and now she knew he had a brother.

“Evelyn how do you know I have a brother? Why do you believe my parents were your real parents?” He asked. Evelyn looked away, gaze turning down to her hands still fiddling in her lap, biting her lip. Eli suddenly felt horrible. Maybe he had sounded too harsh with his interrogating questions.

“I asked a Warlock to find out for me. I always knew I was adopted, they never kept that from me.” She answered so quietly he almost didn’t catch her words. “I didn’t want to be alone! I wanted to find my real parents.” She said, her lip quivering as she fought back tears.

The dark haired Shadowhunter sat back quickly, covering his hands over his face and groaned. He couldn’t believe she had sought out a Warlock. They were tricky creatures and didn’t always tell the truth. Also they almost always required payment for their services, which led Eli to his next question. “How did you pay them for their services? They don’t do those type of things for free.” He questioned as calmly as he could.

She didn’t answer straight away, bowing her head with a little and wiping some of the tears from her cheeks. “I gave them everything my mom and dad left me.” Evelyn explained with a sniffle. Eli was shocked for a moment that she would do that, but then he remembered she was only a little girl, she didn’t know what she was really giving up or that the Warlock she had sought out to help had clearly taken advantage of her. Then anger set in, he was furious at this Warlock for cheating a little girl out of everything her family had left her in their passing.

“Don’t be mad.” Her mouth quivering again as she peered up at him and saw the angry expression on his face that he obviously wasn’t hiding very well.

“I’m not...I’m not mad at you.” He shook his head and sighed. “This Warlock told you that Robert and Elizabeth Ashdown were your real parents?” Eli asked, although he already knew the answer since she was here sitting in his living room of the Ashdown family home.

“Yes.” She whispered with a nod.

“I want to speak to this Warlock. Who were they?” Eli requested, but it appeared Evelyn wasn’t prepared to give him that information for whatever reason. She shook her head furiously, wiping more tears from her eyes before folding her arms over her chest and completely turning her back to him.

[Yunalesca]

Though the kitchen had always been a safe haven for her, a place to calm down and think, it was not working its magic on her now as she leaned over the sink and found it hard to breathe. This girl had shaken her to the core and she did not yet have the strength to pick herself back up so gracefully. She had been incredibly good at hiding her feelings and shortcomings in the past, but that had been before she had lost it all. She had had a purpose back then and spent her time being focused on it, knowing at the end of it all she would finally be free. She had thought she found a new way of freedom when she had come to Alicante and been accepted by Eli after he saw who she truly was, but once again the monsters of her past were coming for her. She could feel the grasp of those dark memories, hands wrapping around her heart and turning her cold. I was supposed to be free of this, I was supposed to die with them she thought briefly before she forced her hands to move to the teabox and to get the kettle started. She was in desperate need of distraction before her prior instincts kicked in and she couldn’t fight the need to run. She had promised herself she wouldn’t do that again since she knew how it hurt Eli’s feelings, the only person she had left in this world, but the urge was building. Even as she rooted herself before the stovetop waiting for the kettle to whistle she was fighting with herself. Running had been the answer for so long it was hard to change her habits.

You killed her a voice reminded, the ugliness in her soul coming back to torture her further before the water was boiling at last. She jumped to grab the kettle so the whistle wouldn’t bother Eli, but more importantly so she would have something to do. She hadn’t had an opportunity to be alone with her thoughts since Eli had taken her in so now she didn’t know what to do with herself to keep distracted. She knew how much she could hurt herself if she allowed her thoughts to continue down that path and she wasn’t sure she could come back from it if she tumbled too far. Her mental health was incredibly fragile it would seem. How weak you’ve become that poisonous voice echoed as she fought back against it, hands shaking as she grabbed for teacups. It was only after she had begun to steep the tea leaves that she noted she had only set out two, an action she had become accustomed to since coming to Alicante. Her mind was clearly elsewhere and she struggled to think of whether the girl would even want tea or if she did, what kind would she drink? She had a feeling she was considerably making something of nothing, but as always it seemed her mind had a tendency to run away from her if she weren’t careful.

She reached for another cup with still shaking hands, the motion causing the delicate handle to slip from her fingers. The object tumbled to the counter before making a dive for the floor, Audrina following it quickly to try and save it from the hardwood that would surely break it. Her Shadowhunter reflexes were incredibly slowed in her distraction and she couldn’t save the porcelain from the ground, it shattering as her hands grasped for it. In that motion she managed to cut herself, the porcelain edges sharp as a Shadowhunters blade and slicing deep into her fingers. She hissed and fought back the curse on the tip of her tongue as she dropped the piece that had done her wrong. Ruby droplets began to splatter on the floorboards, the pain quickly numbing as she looked at her blood. Unwelcome memories surfaced at the sight of red dripping across the kitchen floor. Flashes of her mother’s blood staining the lips of a vampire, her sister’s seeping out of her chest, her own hand stained from the blood her mother had drawn from her with her own blade. She swallowed a cry as she clenched her bloody hand into a fist before carefully picking up the pieces and dropping them in the sink. She ran the water and slipped her cut fingers beneath the spray, grunting at the sting as the blood swirled around the drain then disappeared. An iratze would have healed it quickly, but she let herself feel the pain in a reminder she was alive and the fact she felt she deserved it for what she had done. Most would say she had paid enough in her life, but she wasn’t sure she would ever fully come to terms with the fact she had killed her sister and mother, regardless of the circumstances. An ugly little voice would always be locked away within her she began to realize.

With reluctance she sighed and pulled her stele from her waistband and quickly etched a healing rune into her skin, something that had become easier for her to do since having come to the home of Shadowhunters. Her old ways of bandages and suffering through it were behind her if only to avoid that disapproving look she knew he would give. Where she had been able to defend herself from that look she got from so many, she knew she would not be able to now. She was tied to him and the guilt she would feel in getting that look would be more than she could handle.

With a deep breath to steady herself she wiped the blood from her hand and took another cup from the cupboard before steeping the tea leaves in it. She really didn’t care to go into that room and be a part of a conversation she felt she wasn’t invited to. She was just getting acclimated to the fact she was Eli’s girlfriend, that she was now living with him; getting even more involved in his life felt like too much too soon for her. So you’re going to run and hide again? the voice mocked and she angrily moved the teacups to a serving tray as though to show it she would do no such thing. Of course that meant she was slowly going insane if she was having such an argument with herself. Maybe she was far more damaged than she had previously thought. Maybe running would be the best thing she could do for Eli, though it would surely kill what was left of her soul. Don the mask she advised herself before she forced her hands around the edges of the serving tray and making her feet move toward the living room, hoping the majority of the conversation was completed. She had little in the way of intentions on holding a conversation, it clearly wasn’t involving her even though she was continually projecting her sister's face on that of this girl.

It took great concentration and control for her to keep a mask of indifference on her face and keep from shaking the serving tray as she walked the short distance to the living room she figured they would be in. Secrets were spilled in that room,it was a warm and comforting place to bare your soul,she knew that personally. If she wasn't so intent on shutting her brain off at the doorway she might have felt some sort of violation in Eli and this girl speaking where she had bared her own soul a week ago. If she allowed herself to think of anything besides keeping a mask over her face she would likely crumble, something she was suddenly uncomfortable with doing in front of Eli though he had been the one to piece her together.

She found herself pausing just outside the view of the living room, her nerve weakening as quiet voices filtered to the hall. She couldn't make out what was being said because there was blood roaring in her ears as that urge to bolt was resurfacing again. Things were moving too fast, she was a loner, she didn't deserve this life, all were things that hissed in her mind before she took a breath and shut them off. I love you she heard his voice in her mind, evoking why she was here.

She slipped from the wall she didn't remember finding support in and stepped into the room quietly with Shadowhunters grace,a vision of who she really was butany trained eye could see through the facade. She was putting on a show of confidence when in reality she had none. “I made peppermint tea...I have marsala chai if you prefer,” she voiced though it was absent of the charm it had held only an hour ago. It was tight and expressionless though she tried her hardest to be polite. She couldn't bring herself to look on the girl for long as the poisonous images were continually trying to barge their way to the forefront of her mind, threatening to to make her tremble. She should just set the tray on the table and walk away, but she was finding it difficult to do so.

[Serendipity]

He was possibly going about this all the wrong way, with Audrina and with Evelyn but he felt like he was wedged between a rock and a hard place and it was impossible to escape. His entire life - or what he’d thought he’d known of it- was crumbling down around him, this massive secret someone had kept from him threatening to undo everything he had worked so hard to overcome. Eli had grieved for his mother and for her unborn child, and now all of that was unravelling, his mind reeling over the concept of grieving for a sister who was apparently not dead. The guilt alone for not being able to save his mother from her own grief over the loss of their father (and he being the cause of his father’s death) had almost eaten him alive, and it was resurfacing now. If this was true and Evelyn really was his sister then it meant he had never been their to protect her like he had been for Travis, she had been alone. Maybe not entirely alone she’d had her adoptive family but it didn’t sound like they’d had any other children for her to grow up with, she’d never known what it was like to have siblings and in her parents deaths she’d had no one to lean on and support her through her grief.

Although dealing with another sibling as stubborn as himself was proving to be a little exhausting trying to get information from her. If she did - and it appeared she did- carry the same Ashdown stubbornness then he was currently getting a taste of his own medicine. Eli sighed, shaking his head as all he looked upon was the girl's back as she refused to look back at him or tell him who the warlock was that gave her this information. The sound of breaking glass distracted him for a moment and once again he was torn between staying here and waiting out the headstrong girl in his living room or going to Audrina to check she was alright. The only comfort he had was knowing that she was still in the house and had no fled as he knew her instincts were telling her too.

“Evelyn...don’t you want to know if they were telling you the truth or just wanted your money?” Elijah asked after a deep breath to push some of his own frustrations aside and focus on getting answers. He thought she would never turn back around to face him but eventually she did although she still didn’t look over at him, her focus on the flames burning through the wood in the fireplace. “He was telling the truth.” She said in a meek response, possibly not wanting to know the real truth because she was happy with the ‘truth’ the warlock had given her. Eli couldn’t blame her for that, he understood the comfort she sought in believing what the warlock must have told her. He couldn’t help feeling a little hesitant himself, a part of him of course not wanting this to be true because it meant her existence had been a lie and another part of him hoping it was true because it meant her innocent life had been saved in some impossible way.

Eli sighed again and ran his fingers through his hair leaning back in his chair just as Audrina made her entrance. He felt her presence instantly and his gaze was immediately drawn to her as it always was whenever she stepped into the same room he was in, and like always his heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. It was something he was still getting used to and at the same time felt like he would never get used to it. It was almost as if his heart was calling to her own and he wondered if hers responded in the same way.

Eli watched as moved into the room careful to keep the tray in her hands steady, he could see her hands trembling slightly and all he wanted to do was take them in his own to stop them from shaking and tell her there was nothing to be afraid of. But they had company and he was certain the last thing that Audrina would want would be appear weak or unstable in another person's presence even if that person was only a child. Evelyn had looked away from the fireplace as Audrina voiced she had only made peppermint tea and she watched in silence as the other Shadowhunter set the tray down. “I like peppermint.” The girl reassured her with a small smile, perhaps sensing some of Audrina’s discomfort after all.

“The Warlock’s name…” Evelyn began as she reached over to grab her cup though she still wasn’t looking at him as she spoke. “...is Magnus Bane, The High Warlock of New York. I was told he was the best and hardly ever gets things wrong.” The brunette explained away unaware of the connection they had with Magnus. Eli felt the anger he had managed to bury resurface and he sprang to his feet causing the girl to jump a little.

Oh he got it wrong this time...so very wrong. Eli thought shaking his head and curling his fists as he fought back a string of curse words that Evelyn shouldn’t bare witness to in her young age. Though Eli wasn’t quite sure what he was really angry at this time, the fact that it was Magnus Bane of all people, that he had lied to Evelyn or just that he had greedily taken everything she had been left by her parents and taken advantage of her. He was good at though, taking advantage of people. Eli still wanted to kill him for what he had done to Audrina. Thinking of Audrina, Eli’s gaze turned quickly to the blonde Shadowhunter, she wasn’t Magnus’s biggest fan either.

"Magnus Bane.." He bit through clenched teeth. "He told you that the Ashdown's were your real family?" He asked,, he just wanted to be clear that Magnus was definitely the warlock she had gone too.

"Yes. He did a spell and it led me to you." Evelyn said as though that simple explanation should resolve everything. Little did she know just how much more complicated it was then that, she was supposed to be dead after all, so how...By the Angle how was she alive?

[Yunalesca]

The best thing she had done for herself was to have set that tray down before Evelyn uttered the name of the Warlock who led her to Alicante and the stoop of the Ashdown home. -Her- new home. The name was like a slap to the face and it made Eli shoot up from his seat, his reaction far more violent than her own. It was more evidence that he had cared very much for Audrina before she had ever noticed, he was still incredibly angry with the Warlock for trying to erase her traumatic memories. At first Audrina found herself sinking into the chair behind her, eyes lowered as she took in what all this might mean. She breathed deep and fought off the feelings that had coursed through her when she had recognized the intrusion in her mind. As he had attempted to place blocks within her mind she had felt pain, burning sensations as something registered as not right. It was only now she was able to comprehend that she had felt severe pain, only now when she was no longer numb to sensation.

Her hands had knotted in on themselves as the electric shock of that memory ran through her. After the pain of losing her mother she had almost wished Magnus had been successful in placing a block in her mind, but after opening herself up to Eli she had found how damaging that may have been. She had done some awful things in her life, had witnessed the worst tragedies anyone could, but they shaped who she was. However, she had begun to bury that hatred for him after cashing in on her favor. He had done what she asked and had brought her aid even though he would never admit to that as it was against what she had asked. Alec and Eli would have never known, she would have bled out and died on that floor if Magnus hadn't alerted them. Though it brought her great pain in dealing with what she had done, she was possibly in his debt now.

At this thought she found herself standing, crossing to Eli in a short stride. He was tense and enraged, the way he spoke the Warlock's name and posturing screamed for distance to be kept; she was not afraid of him. No matter how deep he was in bloodlust he would never hurt her, that had been established in the days they had spent together in this home. It was a remarkably unbreakable trust she held with him at this point. "Eli," her voice soothed, though it demanded his attention. Her hands were frozen from the blood chilling at the thought of Magnus Bane being involved in their lives once again, she took his forearm with them now. The warmth of his skin was a shock to hers, but she held firm. "I've no love loss for -him- either, maybe more so, but he would not intentionally lie. Money is of little concern to him. He may not particularly care for people like us, but he would not take advantage of a young girl. Not all Warlocks are evil spirited...as not all Shadowhunters are good." She pressed, surprising herself in rising to the girls defense in some capacity. Evelyn terrified her for reasons she could not confess at that moment, but she wouldn't be asking to have her removed from the home for it. She was strong in her conviction, stubbornness that could match Eli's...maybe even her own.

"Hear her out, forget Magnus' involvement for the time being." She urged with a whisper in his ear. Something had sparked within her just a moment earlier and it wasn't going to let her allow him to get so worked up he completely dismissed the shocking claim this girl was making. Honestly, Audrina hadn't even had the time to compute what she was saying just yet as it was a life changing statement. Once it would fully process in her mind she may feel differently. She did not feel threatened by this girl, but adding a child sibling to the mix might be more than she could handle. Things had been moving at a gentle pace between them as she tried to acclimate to this world she had fought against for so long, as she learned to accept what she had done and move forward with her life. If she were not careful, this event could make the progress crumble completely.

She had to fight to keep her eyes with his to convey the genuineness of her statement as she was sure it didn’t sound right. To her own ears it sounded foreign considering how her life had been manipulated by people like Magnus, but she couldn’t feel malice in this development. In her gut she felt the Warlock had done what he thought was right. If he had wanted to cut ties with Shadowhunters all together he would have never seen the girl. Still, there was that wavering fear in the back of her mind she was worried he might see now. He had enough to worry himself over without knowing something was terrifying her. If she let this slip she could imagine him become worried she would distance herself from him again as it was her nature to run when something scared her; especially when it came to feelings. She had no intention of deserting him, but the temptation was forever pulling at her, whispering to her like a lover. It was easier to deal with things when there were less variables, when it was only her own head she had to be concerned about. If I run, I might never be stable again she heard her own voice mutter and manage to bring back that resolve. He had become her lifeline to sanity and she very much would like to find that again, it’d been a long time since she hadn’t had those voices bringing her down.

“I’ll start making dinner while you talk,” she finally offered, her hands slipping from him as she made it a point to convey she knew this wasn’t a conversation she necessarily belonged in. She had only just come to terms with the fact she loved him, that he was what she might have spent a lifetime looking for, but she still couldn’t say she felt as though she ‘belonged’ just yet. She hadn’t ‘belonged’ anywhere since she was a child and the road to reaching that sort of calm would be a long one. Eli had done well in the beginnings of patching her fractured soul, but it was not something that would come easy.

She left the room then, fighting off the trembling in her muscles as memories of New York came flooding back at the simple mention of a name. She couldn’t shake the visions of herself lying in a pool of her own blood, nearly dead at her mother’s hands; she couldn’t forget all the vampires she had killed simply because she could; she couldn’t block off the feeling of that bloodlust that raged through her every waking moment until she thought she would finally find peace. Eli had never known what he was getting himself into and some part of her wondered now if he ever would. As close as they had become, he still couldn’t know how ugly she felt on the inside. She had committed horrendous acts against the Accords and she had never cared. She was no better than the monsters they hunted and she was reminded of that now.

By the time she reached the kitchen she was finding it hard to breathe. She had learned to brush aside all the horrors of her life, it had been so easy with Eli there to fill her time. But now that she was alone in this kitchen she felt cold and alone again. It was all in her mind, but she couldn’t combat it as easily as she had before. In her frustration she made a choice on the dinner menu, raviolis stuff with ricotta, peppers and a little bit of chorizo that had been picked up at the market earlier. She would have to knead the pasta dough and it was a prime way to get her irritation out. As she worked, however, she couldn’t stop seeing Aurelie at the forefront of her mind. This girl Eli was speaking to looked nothing like her sister, but she couldn’t help but see her soul inside her. Maybe it was the girls’ age, maybe it was the strength it must have taken to come all this way. You couldn’t protect me she heard in her mind, a child’s voice that she knew all too well. The guilt she had been able to let go of before came tumbling back and her vision blurred. All she could see was her sisters’ body on the floor with what remained of her blood soaked into her dress. It was in that moment she felt she was losing her mind once again and became determined to not put Eli through that insanity. She could don the mask once more, all she had to do was make it through dinner. Afterwords she would find a way to separate herself from him and attempt to deal with this on her own.

[Serendipity]

Evelyn realised she had made a mistake by mentioning the warlocks name and now wasn't sure what to do to ease this man’s - her brothers contempt for said warlock; he looked like he was a volcano ready to erupt at any second. Clearly he didn't like the warlock and she should have stuck with her first instinct not to tell him who the warlock was. But he’d wanted a name and she had wanted him to believe her story because she wasn't crazy and it was the truth! She knew deep down in her every being it was true, and not just because a warlock had said so; Evelyn might only be a child but she was a Shadowhunter child and wasn't gullible enough to to believe everything a person (or warlock) told her. Magnus Bane had been telling her the truth, she knew this because it hadn’t come easy for him to do, he had struggled telling her that Elijah and Travis Ashdown were her brothers, and Robert and Elizabeth were her biological parents.

It hadn’t been easy tracking down the High Warlock of Brooklyn, most of her resources had been spent just trying to find him and even when she had found him he had refused to see her. But Evelyn was stubborn and persistent she’d seen something in the way he looked at her, a glint of recognition like he knew her - or more importantly knew who her real family was. She’d always known that she was adopted, her parents had never kept that from her, and it was kind of hard to do anyway considering they were a blonde couple that came from generations of fair haired Shadowhunters; her brown hair stood out like a sore thumb amongst them all at Christmas time. But they had loved her and would have given her the world if she had asked for it. She had never thought about tracking down her biological parents whilst she was with them; it was only once they were gone and she’d realised that she was all alone that she had thought of her biological family.

Evelyn had known that she would be stepping into foreign territory once she found them, but it wasn’t until she had come face to face with Elijah that she realised just how difficult it was going to be. Not only difficult but frightening too, and that’s why her guard had gone up when they’d first spoke outside. She was terrified of being turned away and told she had the wrong family. One out of two of those things had happened, Elijah had said she must have the wrong family but he hadn’t immediately turned her away without a second thought. Though now she suspected he wished he had as things were obviously becoming more complicated. For one the blonde shadowhunter seemed awfully cautious of her, in fact she had hardly looked at her this entire time, and it was obvious that Evelyn’s presence had dislodged the calm between the blonde -Audrina and Elijah’s relationship. The girl of course had no idea just how new and fragile it all was.

But it was Audrina who stood now to come to Elijah’s aid, sensing the rising anger that threatened to boil over into a scene that wouldn’t be pleasant. Whatever it was about the Warlock, Evelyn might never know but she was cautious now not to mention his name again around Elijah until he’d sorted out whatever frustrations he had with the other man. The young shadowhunter sipped her tea quietly watching Audrina sooth her brothers anger with fascination, she herself wouldn’t have dared speak at this moment let alone stand anywhere near him.

“I’m sorry…” Eli sighed, Audrina’s light touch bringing him out of his sudden boiling rage, her gentle voice chipping away at the tension. He sighed again and ran his fingers through his hair listening to the woman tell him to hear this girl out whilst reassuring him that she too still did not trust the warlock. He had no meant to become so enraged, it just went to show he still had not forgiven Magnus for when he had attempted to erase Audrina’s memories. Even though it had been Magnus who had warned him of Audrina’s intentions the night she had gone to fight her mother, if not for him Elijah would never have known and she would not be here now. He should forgive and be thankful that the warlock had, in his own way, tried to make up for his wrong doing. But he just couldn;t. Elijah just could not forgive the other man for almost completely destroying the woman he loved, it might not have happened straight away but it would have caught up to her eventually.

The dark haired male took a deep breath, placing his own hand over Audrina’s adding a little squeeze of appreciation for her trust. She knew that he would never hurt her, even if he was filled with so much anger and rage for something, she trusted that he would never hurt her. Elijah turned to her now taking the hand he hand squeezed into his now for only a brief moment before he let it drop to her side although he wanted to draw her into his arms and never let her go. He was still afraid all of this would cause something in Audrina to snap again and she’d run, although he should have trusted as she trusted he would never hurt her that she wouldn’t run away. Space. She just needed space, he kept telling himself and perhaps it was true but they also needed to talk too, about what all this meant.

As she suggested that she go back to the kitchen and get dinner started Eli nodded. He didn’t want to keep her in a room that she was uncomfortable in and cooking would be a good distraction for her. If they could just get through the rest of the afternoon and dinner then they could talk, really talk, and he might be able to figure out a way get things back the way they were before Evelyn turned up.

Eli turned back around so that he could look at Evelyn as Audrina walked out and into the kitchen, Audrina had told him to hear her out and she was right, he just needed to listen and stop worrying about the impossible. “Alright…” He sighed once more, preparing himself to listen. “What exactly did he tell you? All of it. Don’t leave anything out.”

Evelyn hesitated for a second, her gaze following the blonde shadowhunter out of the room and a part of her wanting the woman to stay. She also wanted to know why Audrina was so uncomfortable in her presence but she guessed it might be safer to not ask. Her eyes moved back to Eli’s as he moved to sit back down and Evelyn relaxed a little more now that he had calmed out and appeared to open to hearing her out. So she explained everything, well her side of everything anyway. By the time she was finished - because she had started from the begining - the smell of dinner was well underway. She hadn’t realised how hungry she was until she could smell something good cooking.

“How about we go and set the table for dinner.” Eli suggested as the girls eyes wandered towards the kitchen. He had yet to address anything she had told him using the excuse for dinner to distract her from wanting a response from him straight away. He needed to figure some things out first, speak to Magnus himself and see what the warlock really knew because by the sounds of it he had been keeping something from Evelyn about this whole thing. But even as he knew that he had to get the facts, weed out the truth from the lies, there wasn’t anymore denying that she was his sister - it was either that or someone was playing a cruel trick on the both of them.

“Yes.’ Evelyn nodded and they both left the living room, Eli showing her into the dining room where he set a place for the three of them to have dinner.

[Yunalesca]

Audrina was nearly done with the sauce when she felt Eli enter the kitchen and move through to the dining area. Both he and the girl were silent as they walked, Shadowhunter heritage making it so, it was only her sense for Eli that gave them away. It was another sign to her that he was it, they were bonded and she would be able to feel him when he entered a room. No matter how special that was it didn't distract her from her task nor did it give her the warm fuzzies in the bottom of her stomach; she couldn't stop thinking about her sister. She wanted nothing more than to wipe the memory from her mind, but little things kept reminding her of Aurelie; now it was the redness of the marinara she was making. She could only see blood spatters across a kitchen floor as she stirred, the sound of plates being placed on the table the only thing that brought her mind back. Get a grip she thought and forced the memories from her mind. She didn’t want to worry Eli nor did she want the girl to catch on to something being wrong. Audrina was an incredibly private person, as Eli knew, and the more emotionless she appeared the better. She had perfected the art of separating herself from the situation and would put the training to good use now. She just had to make it through dinner and hopefully step out without being bothered. She could already imagine the lingering concern in his eyes when she excused herself; he would think she was going to run again. It wasn’t her intention in the slightest, but the temptation was gnawing at her even more. She had a feeling she would not like what she was going to hear about this girl even though she had done her no wrong.

Before Eli could touch her or ask if she was alright she was transferring the ravioli and sauce to a serving bowl and slipping from his attempts to gain her attention. She wasn’t angry with him, but if he touched her she was afraid the mask would fall. She felt safer behind the guise and didn’t want to make a scene in front of this girl. She would be as hospitable as she could be without fully engaging either of them at the table. It would not be an easy feat to keep quiet without drawing attention, but she felt it to be the best way to maintain her sanity for the time being. She could slip back into the madness when she was alone, when she wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

She kept her promise to herself throughout dinner, fielding and deflecting glances and conversation as best she could without drawing suspicion. She was sure she was an enigma to the girl as she gave little to nothing of herself away in the short responses she offered when the girl got curious. She made it a point to avoid Eli’s gaze as he could read her well by now, even when she shut herself off from him. She also couldn’t bear the look she would get from him as he noted how she was pulling back again. They had done this dance so often she would be amazed if he would tolerate it much longer, but he had to understand by now she didn’t do it to hurt him, she did it to protect herself. She was battling demons he could not help her with. He could placate her, hold her and temporarily subdue the pain, but only she could wrestle with her mind and hopefully one day pull herself free from the darkness.

“Can you clean up, I need to step out for a while,” she said quietly to him, though she was moving away before hearing a response. She knew he would do whatever she asked though she was sure he wanted to take hold of her and make her tell him what was bothering her. He knew he would never get an answer that way, but Eli was bound to be impatient with her aloofness considering how close they had become in the days since her arrival. He had to trust her, she had given herself to no other before and that was not something to be taken lightly, but she knew how frustrating her behavior could be for him.

She took her light jacket from the rack by the door and was gone before she could be stopped or questioned. She needed fresh air and space. She had no idea where she was going, just so long as it was away for a while. Eli’s home had been a safe haven for her, but now when she stood within its walls she felt like she was suffocating. Suppressed memories were returning and with it came the depression she had slipped into when he had left her. I’m so sorry she thought in her head before she was running, running to free herself from pain, running as though it would get her away from her own mind. She could feel the tears running down her face as she sprinted between the trees of the surrounding woods, distancing herself from the home so far she could no longer see the peak of the roof. It was then that she stopped and let herself fall to the ground, body trembling from exertion and pain from what she had done to her family. She had killed them, no matter the circumstance she had still killed them. She had tricked herself into believing she had put it behind her, but she had merely suppressed it as Eli filled her day with distractions. She couldn’t blame the girl for the resurgence, it wasn’t her fault and she looked nothing like Aurelie, but seeing that innocence once more had made a hand squeeze around her heart. Her sister had been innocent once, too, but that had been stripped from her by the people who had loved her most. Audrina was a monster and it would be best for everyone if she left their lives before she darkened their lives.

Nobody should love a monster her own voice whispered in her mind and she sobbed harder, fist hitting the ground in defiance. She had happiness right before her, but she would destroy it as she destroyed everything. She didn’t deserve him. She had waited a lifetime for him and she didn’t deserve him. I’m a monster.

*

She didn’t know how long she had spent away from Eli when she finally mustered the courage to return, she only knew it was late from the darkness and how silent the woods were. Maybe with the time she would be able to enter quietly and find another bed to sleep in, remove herself from the equation for a time as she decided if she had made a mistake in unloading herself on his doorstep. It would be easy to disappear again, but the thought was quickly gone as she entered the Ashdown home and hung her coat back on the rack. This felt too much like home now, she didn’t know if she could leave.

She noticed the flickering light coming from the living room and paused in the doorway to see the fire still crackling, fresh logs applied to advise her that Eli was probably waiting for her. She glanced to the couch and saw him there, appearing to be sleeping but she knew better. He would wake the moment he felt her enter the room. She wondered how long he had been there, she also wondered if he had believed she might not come back. The thought had crossed her own mind so it should have crossed his as well. Once again she felt herself facing two options, stand up to her fears or run in hopes of finally escaping them. She made her choice by stepping into the room and taking a seat on the floor before the fire, her skin warming but her eyes almost locked in a trance with the dancing flames. Fire, fire was what should have killed her if blood loss didn’t. “I can’t stop seeing her face, I can’t forget what I did. Rel was almost the same age as her,” she whispered to the flames, but she knew Eli was listening. He had stirred the moment she entered the room and was probably calculating what he should do. Should he yell at her, should he hold her, was it dangerous to even touch her? She was fragile no matter what she portrayed to the world and the wrong move could completely break her. She didn’t even know what would help or harm her anymore.

[Serendipity]

Let her be. It’s what he kept telling himself throughout dinner; just let her be and deal with it later. It wasn’t something that could be dealt with during dinner anyway, not with their guest present. Actually he wasn’t even sure if this - whatever was going on with Audrina- could be dealt with at all. She had been through a lot, blamed herself for everything and there were still a lot of things they (she) hadn’t come close to dealing with. He knew this...change wasn’t easy for Audrina being such a private person and all, and their relationship still so new. Eli wanted to believe that that’s all it was, she was just extremely uncomfortable, unsure and unhappy with their current situation; but he knew in his heart of hearts that that’s not all it was.

Though he was sure her ravioli had tasted wonderful Eli was too on edge during dinner to even taste what he’d been putting in his mouth. He was trying to ignore Audrina’s withdrawal but at the same time he was ready to jump in and be whatever she needed if she suddenly happened to break. She was so fragile despite what she had people believing, but Eli was the only person who knew the truth - mainly because he had almost pushed her to breaking once or twice before he’d realised her stoney, ‘i’m a tough vampire slaying shadowhunter’ front was all just a facade.

It was Evelyn who had broken the silence whilst they ate in an attempt to start polite conversation until she’d eventually given up sensing it was futile to keep trying. Audrina might have nodded occasionally to acknowledge that the girl had been speaking but she hadn’t said a word and had barely looked at her. Eli had only spoken very little almost too afraid to say too much incase he made matters worse. All in all dinner was incredibly awkward and tense, and by the end the silence was deafening; you’d be able to hear a pin drop.

He should have seen it coming; when Audrina announced that she needed to step out for a while and asked if he could clean up. Eli only nodded in response as his mind reeled over the possibility of what awhile meant. What was a while? A few minutes, an hour, two hours….forever. He stared after her as she left wondering if this was it, the last time he saw her. He’d been certain they were past the point of her running away from him. He found himself second guessing everything. The flood gates of doubt were open in his mind and Eli wasn't so sure he could keep his head above water before he drowned in it. She’s coming back.

“I can help you clean up...” Evelyn offered tentatively, her voice interrupting his thoughts and forcing him to push aside his doubts. “Just bring your own plate,” Eli answered and eventually stood, collecting his plate along with Audrina’s. He could clear the rest of the table off later once Evelyn had been shown to her room. The girl followed him, with plate in hand, into the kitchen passing it up to him so he could put it on the sink.

“There’s a spare room upstairs you can use, I'll show it to you.” Eli informed her after a long pause of silence whilst he contemplated whether they should continue their earlier conversation or leave it for another time. Ultimately he had decided that he was far too distracted with other worries to continue talking about the possibility of her being his sister. He quickly gestured for her to follow him and showed her upstairs to the room he had mentioned.

She’s coming back.

---- ---- ---- ----

Eli had shown Evelyn to her room and made sure she was settled for the night before coming back down stairs. Audrina was nowhere to be seen so her ‘a while’ that she’d mentioned was evidently going to be longer than he’d hoped. He remembered that she had asked him to clean up and so he distracted himself by clearing the table completely, putting away leftovers and washing the dirty dishes. He washed them by hand rather than using the dishwasher, taking his time to make sure they were sparkling all the while listening out for the front door opening signalling her return. Half an hour later he had the dishes done, dried and put away and still no sign of the blonde.

It was a struggle in his mind trying to decide what to do. Did he go out and try and find her, go to bed and hope that she would be there in the morning or wait up for her? He couldn’t go out in search for her even if he wanted to, Evelyn was upstairs asleep and if she woke up and he was gone...well it might upset her. He could tell himself all he wanted that she wasn’t his sister but then why did he already feel protective of her in the same way he felt protective of Travis. He didn’t know how it was possible but someone had made it possible and he didn’t know whether to belt them or thank them if he ever found out who it was.

Thinking about his Evelyn was a good distraction to keep his worried mind off of Audrina and he allowed the thoughts to surface, taking this time to try and make sense of it all. Without actually deciding it Eli had chosen to stay up and wait for the blonde’s return, stoking the fire so the house stayed warm for her and making coffee to keep him awake. It was still early in the night but mentally with all that had gone on this afternoon he was exhausted which was why despite trying to stay awake he drifted off on one of the sofa’s in the living room.

He might have been asleep but his mind was never too far from waking listening out for Audrina to come home. He didn’t hear the door when she finally did come home but rather sensed her presence as she stepped into the living room. The room was only lit by the fire, no other lights had been left on leaving a warm glow over everything. Eli sat up slowly as though he had never been sleeping at all as Audrina moved further into the room and came to stop by the fire. He was just so relieved that she had come home that he didn’t even care that it must be incredibly late and she had been out all that time.

There had been moments when he’d thought she truly wasn’t coming back and now that she was back he had no idea what he should be doing in this moment. He felt like yelling because she had bought back all that fear and doubt again, that feeling he had told her he couldn’t live with anymore. But yelling wouldn’t achieve anything apart from making him feel better for all of two seconds until he hated himself for it. In the end he decided there was only one thing to do, and stood up taking a few steps towards her until he sat down beside her and listened as she spoke.

And as he listened he realised what had upset her; he’d had his suspicions that it had something to do with Evelyn but he just hadn’t known the exact reason. She reminded Audrina of her sister, and she still blamed herself for what had happened. “So this has brought back all those memories again.” He spoke softly, understanding now what was going on inside that mind of hers - well a little of what was going on, he wasn’t certain if he’d ever truly understand everything that went on in there. “I wish I could -” Eli cut himself off with a shake of his head. He wished he could what? Take those memories away like Magnus had tried too? Now he was just being a hypocrite. “I’m sorry Evelyn’s turning up has caused you pain and stirred all these old memories up.” He started again.

“You know I’d ask her to leave if...if I didn’t believe that she was my sister.” Eli said gently, and they both knew that he couldn’t turn away family. He’d risked life and limb to rescue Travis, almost losing Audrina in the process. He didn’t ignore family or turn them away. But he couldn't ignore Audrina's pain either which was making all this so hard. 

[Yunalesca]

When he did finally rise then slowly took a seat next to her she felt some of the tension ease from her shoulders as it seemed his intentions were to comfort her and listen rather than reprimand her for taking off for so long. She didn’t belong to him and he was by no means controlling, but she had disappeared on him in the past without a word; now that they meant so much more to eachother she was sure it had hurt him in some aspect when she didn’t return right away. She never wished pain upon him, but she had felt like she was suffocating and she didn’t know whether she should tell him what was bothering her with all he was currently dealing with. Though she had shared her story with him she still felt unsure about opening herself up, letting someone else help her to weather the storm in her own mind. He would gladly take on any of her pain, but the trick was convincing her to let it go. Pain was all she had known for so long it was incredibly foreign to feel happy, like they had been up until now.

She swallowed when he finally spoke, cutting himself off before he could finish his sentence. She was intuitive and it wasn’t hard to guess what he was about to say but didn’t. He wished he could take away the bad memories, but that was what Magnus had tried to do and he had nearly killed him for it. His hatred for the warlock stemmed from that and wishing he could do the same made him a hypocrite. As hurtful as her past was it had defined who she was as a person. She wouldn’t be who she was without them, she might not be with him now if she hadn’t spent so much of her life in misery. She wasn’t sure if ‘ironic’ was the right word but it felt like it fit in this situation.

She had spent so much time wrapped up in comparing Evelyn to her sister that she had pretty much missed the reasoning for her to be here. She knew Magnus had led her here, but beyond that she had zoned out. Now that Eli was telling her that she might be his sister she felt an even larger weight dropping down on her. A sister he thought was dead she thought, eyes dropping from the flames as her brows furrowed. She felt foolish for saddling him with her worries when he was dealing with this life changing revelation. She remembered his story, she remembered how he had told her as they shared a bath together for the first time; his mother had killed herself and had been pregnant with a sister. She didn’t know how she would handle news like that. He had been given the time to grieve and move past it and now this girl was here claiming to be his sister…

Her eyes lifted and her head turned when he mentioned asking her to leave, a new look entering her eyes as she did so. No matter how much it hurt to have her around she could never ask that of him. She had nearly died to help him rescue his brother and if this girl were his sister? “No. I’ll control my demons, you have to see this through and find out the truth. If she is your sister then she is my family now, too….I have no one else.” The last bit came after a pause, her head turning from him and eyes reverting back to the flames as she said it. He and Travis, to an extent, were all she had now. Her friend, her lover, her family had been anger and pain for so many years it had left a gaping hole when it was gone, when she woke up back at the Institute.

She didn’t know if she could ever get used to Evelyn as being in the same room led to a suffocating feeling, but she couldn’t abandon Eli in the midst of this. She was fragile still, but she would pull out the strength to fend off her fears if only to help ease his mind. He couldn’t be concerned with her while trying to manage this changing environment. “Let’s get some sleep. Let it be tomorrow’s problem,” she said softly before rising. She didn’t want to talk about where she had gone and why she’d been gone so long; she felt Eli was aware of how difficult it was for her to handle her mental problems at the moment so elaboration wasn’t necessary.

Sleeping next to him had quickly become the best way to keep nightmares at bay, but he couldn’t guard her forever as they returned that night in full force. She could subconsciously feel him wrapped around her, arms holding her tight against him as they slept, but that wasn’t enough as her body was paralyzed against crying out for him. Her night of torment was worse than it had ever been, filled with blood and death, ghosts of her family returning to remind her of how she had killed them. No matter the arguments that were presented, no matter that they had tried to kill her first, they were shrill voices in her mind reminding her she was a monster and would get someone else killed. She could hear Alec’s voice uttering those words and it cut her even deeper given how he had sacrificed his blood to save her.

[Serendipity]

It had never occurred to Eli that Audrina didn’t fully know what was going on, he’d just assumed she’d heard enough of the conversation to put it altogether. It didn’t matter though, he was very aware that she’d had other concerns and fighting her own demons. She didn’t need to take on his as well. He could find away to deal with the fact that somehow someone had saved the sister he’d never met but thought died along with his mother all those years ago. He’d grieved, he’d dealt (in his backwards way) and he’d forgiven; thanks to the person now sitting next to him. Eli suddenly wasn’t sure now how he was supposed to handle these newly open wounds, he only knew that he had too for the sake of his own sanity.

He was grateful to Audrina for what she said next and her words did ease some of the fear he’d had over whether this new, unexpected, addition to the family would push her away. Because she had come back tonight, and because of the statement she made about Evelyn being her family now if it did turn out she truly was his sister, Eli was reassured that Audrina really was sticking around for the long hurl. It did sadden him as she stated she had no one else but Eli and his family. It unfortunately was true as much as they both wished it wasn’t.

“Thank you.” He nodded slowly appreciating that she was going to try and accept Evelyn’s presence although it was stirring all the guilt and dark thoughts up again. The dark haired shadowhunter rose to his feet as she went on to suggest they go and get some sleep, he couldn’t agree more, and offered a hand to help her up. But it wasn’t until they were up in their room that he drew her into his arms and just hugged her. He needed to just hold her a moment, because holding her pushed all the doubts and fears away and calmed his nerves.

Eli hardly slept that night, he’d had a feeling that Audrina was going to have nightmares despite his presence right beside her. He was there to comfort her if she woke up from them but she didn’t. He was able to get a few hours sleep in the early hours of the morning when Audrina’s nightmares seemed to ease. It was the sound of the door creaking open that woke him and his initial thought was that Audrina was sneaking out, however he could still feel the warmth of her body next to his. Then he remembered they had someone else staying in the house and slowly he sat up, rubbing some sleep from his eyes to see Evelyn poking her small head in through the door checking if anyone was awake.

"Go downstairs, I'll come down and make breakfast soon. There's juice in the fridge." Eli sleepily explained in a half whisper because he wasn't sure if Audrina was awake yet.

[Yunalesca]

Sometime in the early morning hours her nightmares had stopped, her mind having grown tired of tormenting itself it seemed. That did not mean she got any rest, however. Dreamless sleep wasn't how the mind did a reset for the following day, wasn't how to wash away the fatigue she had felt when finally laying her head to the pillow next to Eli's. Her body might be rested, but it was her mind that needed it the most. Every waking moment she was re-evaluating her decisions until it drove her mad and now there was a third leg being inserted to her problem, Evelyn. She couldn't be angry with the girl or fault her for following what her heart told her, but the time couldn't be any worse. Maybe in a month or so Audrina would have fully recovered from what she had done and become accustomed to this new relationship, but right now thing were incredibly delicate despite how concrete it seemed. She was tied to Eli, there was no doubt there, but she was still feeling some struggle with how to just let it happen without trying to understand it. Nobody every truly understood how love worked, just that it was there and you would never feel a stronger pull to something.

She inhaled and sighed softly when she heard Eli's voice whispering just above her ear, awake despite how exhausted she was. She desired more sleep, but sleep brought the nightmares and she would take a day of being tired over that. At first she was a little confused as to what he was saying until she remembered there was another person in the home now, his possible little sister. The thought didn't hit her right away, however, and a small grin pulled at the corner of her mouth as the warmth of his body was no longer blanketed over her indicating he had sat up. "You can barely make cereal," she commented sleepily, apparently lapsing into an exhausted giddiness before having realized yesterday wasn't a dream. Evelyn would change their dynamic, she was sure, but she forgot it momentarily. 

She was turned toward him when her eyes cracked, the light coming from the window making her shut them quickly as it stung her unprepared retinas. She waited for her eyes to recover and reached for his hand instead, fingers lacing through his before she was able to open them again to see him. With how he sat he was basking in light, looking like an apparition of an angel though she knew better. Neither one of them were angels though they make look like it to the Mundane. Shadowhunters were always beautiful to the untrained eye. She wanted to stay like this forever as it was her new comfort in life, but she recalled now that Evelyn was here and she had said 'let it be tomorrow's problem' which was no 'today'. The mirth slowly left her eyes and she averted them to hide it from Eli, he didn't need to see her like that with so much else on his mind. He needs you as you need him her own voice reminded and she brushed aside the fatigue though she was sure it was painted quite clearly across her face. There had to be dark tufts beneath her eyes and she didn't believe she had any makeup to cover it; she had rarely used products in the past as she never felt the need, she wasn't trying to get anyone's attention.

She breathed deeply and let go of Eli's hand to stretch as though it might chase away the soreness creeping into her muscles. She knew her body was well rested, but with her mind being tired it was sending signals elsewhere to try and trick herself into continuing to sleep. It was not a luxury she could bask in, however, as it was true that Eli could barely make cereal. As mildly upset and somewhat disinterested as she was with this situation she wouldn't subject the poor girl to plain cereal. She sat up then, her now shoulder length hair trying to cascade over one shoulder, across the strap of her tank top. She sat there quietly for a moment before leaning into Eli and resting her head on his shoulder in a show of intimacy. No matter how long they had been sleeping together this still felt incredibly new to her and filled her heart with warmth to be near him, she hoped he felt the same. "And tomorrow's problem becomes today," she whispered though she quickly regretted it. She didn't like voicing her thoughts and it had somehow slipped out, likely due to being so tired.

Her head lifted from him then and she allowed herself to look him in the eyes, forcing herself to keep her guard down so he could see what she was really thinking. He didn't deserve to have herself reserved from him, she knew how much that hurt him and it was an incredibly hard habit for her to break. "I'm not going anywhere, I was incredibly selfish last night but it felt like the best thing I could do for you at the time. Neither of you deserved to see me like that." She confessed with finality, now was not the time for them to talk about it as she knew his would be sister was waiting for them downstairs. She merely wanted to admit she knew what she had done was not graceful and comfort him in hearing she wouldn't be deserting him. It would be incredibly easy for her to run like she always did when things got this hard, but she refused to do so this time.

"Come on, I'll make breakfast so you don't run her out of here with food poisoning." She offered with a small smile before kissing him on the cheek and slipping from under the covers with Shadowhunters grace, like she had been gifted with a full nights rest. She grabbed the silk robe Eli had bought her the day before, luckily it was purple as she could barely stomach all the pink he had begged her to try on yesterday. She tied it tightly about her waist to safely cover her underwear before she tied her hair up as an afterthought. She couldn't remember the last time she had been able to do that.

Once Eli had made himself a little more decent she offered him her hand as a show of love before leaving the room and descending to the kitchen. She let him go once they were there so she could get the food going. "Do you like fruit crepe's?" She asked of the girl as she knew Eli would eat anything she made. She had her doubts the girl would say no, what kid didn't like strawberries and cream cheese?

[Serendipity]

Although he would have liked to sleep longer with Audrina in his arms and forget that yesterday afternoon had ever happened, he was filled with a strange kind of emotion upon seeing Evelyn peeking in through the door. He remembered Travis doing this when they had first moved to the London institute. His brother had still been upset over their mother's death and uncertain of this new place they would be calling home; he hadn’t wanted to go anywhere without his big brother for months, and Eli had known it was because his brother had been afraid he would disappear again as he had done when their father had died. Every time he’d seen Travis’s head poking into his room from behind the door trying not to wake him but wanting to see if he was awake yet it had always filled him with this same feeling he was feeling now. For a long time he hadn’t been able to figure out what the feeling was, mostly because for a long time all he’d been feeling was numb, until one day it just clicked. Affection. The type reserved for siblings no matter how much they bothered you at times.

He felt this now for Evelyn despite not knowing for certain if she was truly his sister or not, but perhaps this was an indication she was his sister and he shouldn’t need any further proof. Audrina’s voice distracted him from this thought process and he glanced down at her just as she rolled over so she was facing him, a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth at the sight of her face as the sun that touched it and she had to quickly close her eyes since they weren’t used to the brightness. Another emotion filled his chest as she laced her fingers through his and slowly opened her eyes again, looking up at him, her blonde hair cascading across the pillows. Love; the deepest kind- the kind that took your breath away. Eli didn’t even take offense to her comment about him barely even able to make cereal, he simply laughed and squeezed her hand. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.” She was probably right though, he’d add too much milk and it would just end up a sloppy mess; he could never get the right milk to cereal ratio.

He sighed a little running his fingers from his free hand through his hair as Audrina slowly sat up, her hair tumbling over her shoulders as she moved. It was then that he realised just how long it had gotten, he recalled a time when it was much shorter. However he liked it long, he liked it short too (honestly he’d probably like it any way she wanted it) but the longer length of hair gave her a softer look and he his fingers itched to run themselves through it now. But he resisted the urge because he was aware that Evelyn was downstairs waiting for him, he suddenly had a new responsibility, someone else to think about other than just Audrina. She was obviously thinking the same as she rested her head against his shoulder. Eli sighed again, feeling just a little disappointed, and kissed the top of Audrina’s blonde head instead. “We’ll figure it out.” He murmured against her hair before pulling back as she lifted her gaze to his.

Eli slowly shook his head as she apologised for her leaving suddenly after dinner, he understood why she’d felt like she had to ‘get out of there’ and although he had been worried about whether or not she was coming back he had not been angry with her. “It’s okay.” He said once she was finished and brought his hands to the side of her face, running his thumb along the curve of her cheekbones and smiled. “I love you.” He stated firmly as though that was all the explanation she needed to know that he’d forgiven her although he’d never been angry with her in the first place.

“Hey!” Eli chuckled as she accused him of possibly giving Evelyn food poisoning if he cooked her breakfast, but Audrina was already slipping from under the covers after a quick kiss on his cheek. “I’m not that bad of a cook.” He continued to chuckle as he pushed the covers from his legs and swung them over the side of the bed. “Well...maybe. So it’s a good thing i’ve got a good cook on my side then.” He added with a slight shrug as he stood up and reached for the shirt he had strewn over the single armchair by the bed. He would have quite happily gone without a shirt and just stayed in his long pajama bottoms (and he’d certainly rather Audrina stay in her underwear without the robe over them) but it was a little chilly and they did have a guest so he pulled the shirt on over his head quickly.

Evelyn was waiting for them down in the kitchen, she’d managed to pull herself up on one of the stools by the kitchen bench and had gotten herself a glass of juice which she was sipping on when they entered the room. “Did you sleep okay?” Eli asked her as he let go of Audrina’s hand and moved towards the fridge. He opened the fridge pulling out the carton of juice before closing it again and turning back around in time to see the girl nod slowly. Eli couldn’t tell if she was shy in nature or if she was just uncertain of how she should react around them because she didn’t know them yet. So Eli offered her a smile and moved over to refill her juice just as Audrina asked whether she liked fruit crepes’.

“Not blueberry ones.” Evelyn replied, surprising Eli with her answer and he almost overfilled her cup but quickly caught himself and stopped pouring before it could happen. He didn’t like blueberries either. It was probably just a coincidence, not liking certain food wasn’t hereditary after all. “Don’t worry, there aren’t any blueberries in this house. I don’t like them either.” He finally reassured her after some of the surprise wore off. Unless Audrina snuck some into their shopping yesterday he knew they didn’t have the fruit.

“Good. Then, yes please.” Evelyn nodded with a small grin, swinging her legs bath and forth under the stool she sat on happily. Eli noticed that she suddenly seemed to relax after his mentioning of not liking blueberries either, as though that small something in common helped confirm in her mind that she hadn’t been wrong about them being related.

Eli put the juice away and proceeded to put the kettle on to make their morning coffee as Audrina got to work making them all breakfast and Evelyn continued to happily sip her juice. And in this one small moment for anyone looking in on them from the outside they would appear to be a pleasant family.

[Yunalesca]

Blueberries made her pause and a brow raise, though it wasn’t necessarily aimed at Evelyn. Hearing Eli state he didn’t care for the taste of the fruit and neither did this girl was curious, it grew even more curious considering Audrina was positive she was allergic to the vine fruit. She couldn’t recall her own sister having such an affliction, but hearing both Eli and Evelyn not liking the fruit made her feel more confident that they were indeed related. She knew blueberries were incredibly popular and to not like them generally got looks of disapproval. There were now three points on the mental sheet she had begun keeping on the possibility of their matching genetics; a point for blueberries, a point for stubbornness, and there was a point in their resemblance. Evelyn’s features were far softer in comparison to Eli’s, but to a trained eye the similarities were visible. She spent much of her life seeking vampires specifically by features alone so she had a trained eye for such a thing, though she hadn’t said anything to Eli about it. Though she was now dating him she was careful as to how much she was involved in aspects of his life. With this she was still standing by as a support as she didn’t know what her part should be in the equation. When in doubt, be the support character, right?

“No worries on the blueberries,” she returned with a smile that was a little forced. She didn’t dislike the girl, but despite having confessed to Eli and sleeping on the matter she was still a little unnerved by her. She could recall making breakfast with her sister all those years ago and how she’d had to take responsibility for her after their parents were gone. It was all coming back in a monstrous wave that was leaving it difficult for her to keep her head above it. She would battle through it as she always had as this time she had someone to help her, someone to keep her sane when she began drifting toward a breaking point. Her eyes flitted to Eli briefly as though to remember that, to let his presence calm her, before she turned to gather the ingredients for breakfast. She knew it probably would have been a bridging of the gap if she offered to have Evelyn assist her, but that was too much too soon for her fragile mind. She wished she could somehow convey this to the girl so she wouldn’t feel like there was some lingering threat in the air, but being a private person she could not offer that to her. She had her doubts Eli would inform her either as it had taken an immense amount of time for this trust to build between them and he surely wouldn’t ruin that. They would all just have to hope she would get used to the idea and her sister might vanish from her mind.

She removed the premade tub from the fridge (it was a cheat, but she had anticipated not having that extra hour to make it by hand) while she listened to what was a slightly awkward chit chat session with Eli and his would be sister. It was undoubtedly difficult for him to relate to someone so young, though it sounded like he was handling it relatively well. All her time being solitary left her unsure of whether she could handle a life event such as this despite how much of a mother she had become to her own sister between the deaths of her parents. A part of her wanted desperately to bring this girl into her life as she had done for her sister, but it wasn't possible for her to cope with that right then. She could tell herself it might fill the massive void in her heart, a void Eli was struggling to even overcome, but she knew already how much more pain she would inflict on herself doing that. It would be best to let it lie and observe from the outside than to take control.

She let the mixture rest in the open air for a brief period as she turned to dicing strawberries and zesting lemons, then finally whipping the cream cheese mixture. The filling was returned to the fridge to keep cool while she poured the wheat flour mixture into the hot pan of oil and began frying what would be the shells. The process was quick and once the wrappings had set on a nearby wire rack for a time she removed the filling from the fridge and made towards the table with everything, much of it balancing on her forearms then sliding easily to the dining table. The conversation grew quiet and she ignored the sets of eyes on her, being the center of attention was something she had avoided for quite some time now and it made her slightly uncomfortable. In the past she had cared little for what people thought of her, but that had changed upon waking from her near death. 

She could feel that neither of her dining companions knew how to fold their own crepes so she did it for them the first time, questioning how much filling they wanted before folding the fried pastry into a cocoon and drizzling the folds with fresh field honey (or so she had been told yesterday) to keep the contents trapped and add another dimension of flavor. She made her own last before taking a seat closer to Eli though not so much so that it appeared the table was lopsided with space. She was conscious of not making Evelyn intimidated though she was sure her quiet demeanor was enough to put anyone on edge. Shadowhunters traditionally did not like enigmas as they could be perceived as a threat, and she assumed the girl had begun her training already if she were raised in this world as Audrina hadn't been.

She was quiet as she ate, doing her best to keep the attention off herself before that nagging thought in the back of her mind wouldn't be contained anymore. "How did you come to know of Magnus Bane?" She questioned with little warning, her voice steady though there was a clear underlying irritation. She had come to terms with what he had tried to do to her as she knew it had been out of good intentions, but it didn't mean she was completely alright with it. He had invaded her mind, something that she had kept incredibly private since her youth. Eli was privileged to have seen what had happened to her mother and sister, but she hadn't offered that privilege to the Warlock. She did her best not to stare through the girl as she asked it, but old habits died hard and that little bit of interrogator instinct had resurfaced. With her heightened senses she could feel uneasiness beginning to come from her right, from Eli. He had to know she wouldn't push this girl like she had to the Downworlder's she had interrogated in the past, but in her fragile state it was hard to tell what she would do anymore.

Her fork found her plate slowly, followed shortly by her napkin as her meal was complete. She could feel what she imagined was Eli tensing as though this were it, the moment when she would fully snap. She kept her emotions incredibly in check as she let go of a breath slowly. "I've given some thought to this...situation," she started, eyes lowering slightly as she didn't care to see the expression either of their faces would be about to reveal. She forced her gaze to raise to Evelyn, then slowly to Eli. "I think we should consider seeing the Silent Brothers. They might be able to provide answers that neither of you will be able to gather through talking." She could see the apprehension in Eli's eyes and could feel what she imagined to be the beginning of fear coming from across the table. The Silent Brothers were to put in a word, creepy. She couldn't blame anyone for feeling reservations about them. "I don't particularly like the prospect either, but how many options do we have?" She asked without really expecting an answer. She had never wanted to resurface to the Clave and contacting the Silent Brothers would certainly alert someone, but to get to the bottom of this they had no other options. Though with Valentine Morgenstern and his lot running across the globe again, maybe now would be the best time to pursue their assistance.