i never asked to be saved [r], mortal instruments - Seren

[Yunalesca]

She didn’t think it was possible for her temperature to rise any further, but as his lips found the flesh behind her ear a new wave of fire erupted from her core. His voice flowed over her and made her shudder the moment his hand pressed to her flank. Hands that had been content in his hair shifted to find grip at the edge of his shoulders while her eyes closed anew as she found it hard to breathe. “I love you, Elijah,” she whispered again with more want than before. She had never given much thought to what it would be like when she slept with someone for the first time, but she was sure she could have never conjured this image or the flurry of feelings tied to each movement. She let a sigh escape her as her back arched slightly to press their bodies closer together for a fraction of a second. In that moment she could feel the heat pouring off him and knew she wasn’t alone in this hot and consuming blaze that erupted when they touched. She felt like breathing was a hindrance as she wanted to do nothing more than to kiss him til the end of time.

She felt him tensing over her as though he were showing great restraint while working steadily to get her shirt off, his kisses teetering on the border between sensual and animalistic. She almost wished he wouldn’t show restraint and would let himself get lost in her in the most carnal sense, but she couldn’t forget the horror stories she had conjured up in relation to this nor could she swipe away the vampire bites she had endured through. She didn’t want anything bad to be associated with this pure act of love and so didn’t tell him to let go of his restraint. He worked hard to be gentle with her, but a man could only take so much she would wager. If she asked him to let go, he may do just that and ruin everything they had worked for.

In getting lost momentarily in her thoughts, the only moment of clarity she could latch onto between the explosions of heat he pulled out of her, she didn’t feel him pulling her arms free of her shirt. It hit her finally when she felt his lips on bare flesh at her collarbone, hands sliding up her sides and eventually to the fabric of her bra. With anyone else she might have felt anxiety and pure horror at the feel of hands roaming over her, but with Eli she could only feel desire and, quite suddenly, how uncomfortable their positioning was. She didn’t have to be experienced to know what he was working towards, but she momentarily stopped him by bringing a hand down to his chin and making him turn his head up to her. She could see that flicker of apprehension, him reading that maybe she couldn’t do this, but she worked to quell it by dipping her head to kiss him before moving slightly to be properly positioned on the bed. While one hand pulled her weight back toward the pillows, the other slid under his shirt and to his side to guide him with her. Don’t stop her kiss plead, a soft moan escaping her as he crawled with her and pressed his body to her when her head finally found the pillows.

She let him be firmly in control of this considering she had no knowledge of how to be sensual during this profession of love, but she wasn’t so naïve that she would just lie there as he sent waves of fire over her. With him momentarily distracted with her almost bare upper body she took a moment to breathe before both hands ran under his shirt and worked to slip it over his head. She didn’t want his lips to part from her skin for one second, but she had to let him as she pulled the fabric over his head and flung it in some corner of the room. She remembered seeing him without a shirt before, appalled and reeling from the sight of it, but now as she looked down at him with etched abs and corded muscle she felt the breath be taken from her. “You should never wear a shirt again,” she uttered before she pressed herself up off the pillows to get a kiss from him before he could gloat too much from her admiration of him.

Even as she moved to silence him she could feel a rumble in his chest as though he were laughing even through her efforts. She was sure stroking his ego would do her no favors, but she found she loved even that part of him as their lips parted and she turned her head to kiss the hammering pulse in his throat. She felt satisfaction at knowing his heart was racing just as wildly as hers before he lowered a little more of his weight on her and she felt his pulse elsewhere, the shock of it making her stop and press her forehead to his collarbone once more while she shuddered. Her hands stopped roaming over his back for a moment as she couldn’t think, any thought she had getting muted out by the feel of their extremities pressed together, only inches of fabric separating them. Finally in response to him she widened her legs to encompass his hips and allow him to get even closer to her. This brought on another wave of fire and a subsequent groan of pleasure while her hands sank into his hair and pulled slightly to find some release.

[Serendipity]

His fingers splayed across the flat of her stomach briefly whilst he waited for her to say those words to him again, and he felt hot flesh beneath his palm, her heat radiating through into his own body. He felt the faded scars that came with being a Shadowhunter at her side, this was the spot he had marked her before going after his brother and it would have been barely noticeable if one weren’t looking for it. He guessed his fingers sought out the scar because he still felt a pang of guilt for marking her skin with runes she did not like. Her words reassured him however that he was forgiven for all of his past mistakes with her. Eli smiled softly into the side of her neck as she said she loved him again but the deep desire he heard in her voice distracted him from accomplishing his task of removing her shirt and his hand stilled at her side.

“I love you, Audrina.” Eli returned softly with another kiss to her neck before an almost animalistic groan escaped his lips at the way she arched her back in that moment, bringing their bodies together, purposefully, causing him to feel just a little hotter under the collar then he already was. He wasn’t sure if she knew it or not but she was making it incredibly difficult for him to offer restraint, his whole body burned with the desire to tear her clothes off (because peeling them off would be too slow) and bury himself deep inside of her. In response he let his teeth graze the spot on her neck he had just kissed, moving down between kisses and soft nips of her flesh towards her collarbone. His hand continuing its journey of lifting her top further up her body but he needed two hands to finish the task and quickly countered his weight to his knees either side of her thighs, it also meant he had to lift his head briefly before he slipped the garment clean off her torso.

A man would be a man in anyone situation like this and his eyes glued themselves to her chest, swallowing back the lump forming as he watched the tops of her creamy breasts rise and fall with her ragged breathing, and he groaned low in his throat unable to resist running his hand up her side again until it came to cup the side of breast through the fabric of her bra. His mouth lowered once more to her collarbone, his kisses becoming more heated as he teetered on that fine line of restraint. The only thought that kept him from falling over that line was that she was giving herself to him and it wouldn’t be just a one of occurrence, he could have her again after this.

Before he could become lost in slightly salty taste of her skin he felt her hand come up under his chin and he let her lift his head so their gazes met. Just for the briefest of moments he thought perhaps she had changed her mind after all. Perhaps he had become too forceful without realising it, but those thoughts quickly flew from his mind by the white hot desire he saw reflecting back at him, and she kissed him reassuringly, guessing his brief thoughts. His lips moved against hers, allowing her to set the pace on this one. She might be inexperienced but she was certainly getting the basics down right, and following her instincts and not second guessing her own sensuality also helped.

Once again she was edging backwards and coaxing him with her until she was in a more comfortable position against the pillows. Eli pressed himself against her as her head found a pillow, and he was reminded, frustratingly, that there was still layers of clothing between them, however Audrina was already rectifying the issue. He quaked under the touch of her hands as they slid from his hair to find themselves up under his shirt and a moan gaveway from his lips as her hands explored his bare stomach for a bit before she was lifting his shirt up with the intention of removing it completely. Bare chested he sat up a little on his knees to look down at the blonde beneath him and saw her eyes traveling over him, the desire burning in those smoky greys.

Her words caused him to smirk but any further comment he might have made was prevented as Audrina pressed herself up from the pillows, bringing them chest to chest, and kissed him.He couldn’t help the rumble of laughter that started deep within his chest as she continued to kiss him because she had just unwittingly stroked his ego by her comment. His slight chuckle stopped as she broke her lips away from his and replaced them against his already racing pulse. His heart beat a little faster at the sensation of her hot mouth against his flesh and he bit back a guttural moan. The feel of her hands roaming over his back and the sensation of her hot mouth against his flesh had his heart beating rapidly inside his ribcage and caused a groan to sound from his lips.

His arms were shaking a little with the effort of holding himself up over her and as she continued to kiss the side of his neck it was becoming more difficult to hold himself up any longer. He lowered some of his weight so his body was now pressing a little more prominently against hers and by her reaction he was sure she could feel that he was already throbbing, almost painfully, with his own want for her against the inside of his jeans. His own groan matched with hers as she widened her legs to allow for a more comfortable position, the action bringing with it a flash of heat and longing with it.

As her hands sank back into his hair he pressed his lips against her mouth, coaxing her lips apart so he could taste her again as one of his hands came to cup her breast, still encased in her bra, before it moved down her side to the top of her jeans, his fingers eagerly finding the button and zipper that held them to her hips. He continued to kiss her as with a Shadowhunters ease he unbuttoned and then opened the zipper of her jeans before tugging at the edges of them to pull them down, pleased as she wiggled beneath him in order to help get them off.

They were off in one last swift movement from the both of them and as she had done his shirt he tossed the garment off to the side. Now she was only in her bra and panties and he took a moment to appreciate the view, arching himself up over her so he could see all of her though she was still not completely exposed to him. He took in the runes, although there were not as many as his flesh held, and the tiny scars that hinted they had once been there. “You are beautiful,” He said and had to catch his breath, his blue orbs roaming over her hungrily and as if he wanted to imprint the image of her laid out beneath him like this in his mind forever.

[Yunalesca]

Feeling the weight of him against her already blazing extremities was almost too much and so a quake of unontrollable excitement rolled over her as she felt his hands slide over her skin, reaching to remove another hindrance in their lovemaking. Her fingers had begun to dig into the skin of his back when he rubbed at her sensitive breasts, nobody had done this before. She had always been small and skinny and so never developed a chest like Isabelle’s, something she might have worried about if she’d had interest in anyone, but Eli didn’t seem to care. When he looked at her all she could see was admiration and hunger. She had never imagined she would end up in this position, but she didn’t regret a moment as he scattered her thoughts again by sending his hands lower to the button of her jeans. Her breath caught momentarily before she kissed him back with a starving hunger as he worked diligently at the waistband of her pants. All she could focus on was kissing him back as another wave of excitement coiled through her and set her skin into a blaze once more. She groaned in protest when his pelvis lifted away from hers in order to remove the annoying pants that didn't seem to want to give way. She emitted a growl, kisses turning impatient, before she began using her feet to hook and pull the pants down then he was throwing them aside.


She was eager for this to truly begin, to feel his naked flesh on hers, but once he paused to look her over she felt another moment of clarity and remembered she didn't want to rush through this. She ached for him, but she wanted to catalogue these feelings, his expressions. She wouldn't be able to remember any of it if she didn't get her mind back, an impossible task with his lips and hands roaming over her. So she took this moment to breathe before he called her beautiful and knocked the wind out of her with a voice so full of affection and desire. Many men had said this to her, but when he said it she felt another shudder take her. She looked up at him, watching his eyes take her in before she took a breath. She felt herself flush, his roaming eyes making her stomach cave self-consciously as she thought of the scars she carried now, and not just ones from Runes. If it ever bothered him he didn’t express it, his eyes moving across her as though he wanted to remember every curve.


“I’m not going anywhere,” she finally said to him, reservation going out the window as she couldn’t remain content just lying there for him to admire. He had seen her in a similar fashion once before when they were training, but this time it was far more intimate. She gave him enough time to commit the image to memory before she pushed herself up and drew him in for a kiss, bringing him down with her just enough to get some of his body heat before she moved her mouth to her throat again, sensing the motion made it hard for him to think, a phenomenon he had impressed upon her several times already.


When she felt he was distracted with her kiss on his skin, and a delicate bite or two, her hands moved away from the familiar parts of him to lower regions until her fingers found the zipper of his jeans. When she slid the metal down she felt him and subsequently almost paused as a strike of fear reverberated through her again. Can I do this? she thought as her fingers worked to unpin the button, hands trembling slightly as she had to break her mouth from his throat so he wouldn’t feel her indecision. She was afraid he would hurt her, but then she remembered how he had looked at her as she lay there beneath him and how careful he had been since the moment he picked her up downstairs. He would never hurt her, he would be patient. The apprehension she had felt was swallowed back and she proceeded with her endeavor, the fabric pulling free of the metal and allowing her hand access to him.


As one hand pressed against him and her mouth found his, she felt nervous that she didn’t know what she was doing from here. Learning to kiss him properly, trailing her lips over his skin was one thing, but actually touching him and removing one more layer of clothing was another thing. He knew she was inexperienced, had to after the way she had been towards him, and so would probably help her if she needed it, but she wanted to find this out on her own and wanted to bring him pleasure without guidance. She would have to be confident with herself, she decided, and chose to go for it. She groaned against his lips as she moved her hand to stroke him before both her hands were in his jeans and moving around the waistband to get them off. She was missing the feel of him against her and was tired of this extra layer of clothing hindering her. She groaned against his lips again, this time in frustration at how difficult the denim was to get off.



Finally the fabric slid down his legs and off his feet, she presumed being kicked off somewhere as he returned to her, extremeties pressed close and making her quiver involuntarily yet again. Her arms were about his sides now, fingers raking rather gently over the skin of his back as she felt his warmth press against her pelvis and sending another wave of excitement over her. Her pulse had begun to quiet for a moment, but it sped up once more as the promise of everything to come pulsed against her. "Eli..." She murmured his name breathlessly even though they had yet to do anything. She already felt like she was floating, nearly lightheaded as they moved slightly against eachother, the friction caused from the thin barriers of their remaining clothes almost making it unbearable. She wanted him, badly, but wouldn't let herself beg him to remove everything else. They would have time for that another day, she had to savor every part of this now for it would never come again.



Though she was inexperienced her urges were strong and she couldn't ignore them forever. Instinct was telling her what to do, whispering to her through the ripples of ecstacy she felt with each soft grind against her. He was more than ready for this and was nearly trembling from the effort he was putting into restraining himself, but she wouldn't let this happen just yet. Instead her lips found the base of his throat, making him arch his head back as she moved sensually over the skin while her hands slid away from his back and clutched his shoulders. With some strength and giving the right signals, she moved him to lie on his back so she was now over him. She could have never done it if he didn't want her to and she took some pride in that, his willingness to let her experiment when he wanted to bury himself in her.




With how fast her own pulse was pounding and the heat continually spreading from her pelvic region, she knew she wouldn't be able to hold herself off much longer either. She looked down at him for a moment while she sat on his hips, the feel of him strong against her underwear. She couldn't think as to why she had ever denied herself of him until now, so much time wasted. Don't think of it now, her mind pressed before she lowered herself and began kissing his neck again while moving over him in stimulation. She could feel he wouldn't wait much longer and welcomed it as she buried her head in his shoulder while trembling. His name escaped from her lips again, an urging to proceed and take control from her before she took this too fast.

[Serendipity]

Slow. He kept reminding himself as Audrina’s kisses became slightly impatient and he could guess that she too was aching for more but they couldn’t get ahead of themselves, this was her first time and she needed to experience it as it should be experienced: slow and sweet so she could commit it to her memory forever. As her hands roamed over his back, her fingers digging in slightly to feel his hot skin he shuddered at the wave of excitement it brought. His breathing had become ragged between their kisses and his heart raced steadily in his chest as his anticipation built. Finally her pants had been tossed aside by him and he could look at her; she was beautiful scars and all, and he told her this so she would know it. He wanted to press his lips to every last mark on her creamy flesh but he’d have to set that aside for another time as right now he wasn’t sure just how much longer he could handle not being inside her.

“I hope not.” He said between a groan and a sharp intake of breath when the blonde’s mouth found his throat, completely rattling his thoughts and making it extremely difficult to concentrate on anything but the sensation of her heated kisses along his neck. He was so distracted with her mouth at his neck that he didn’t notice her hands move lower to the zipper of his jeans, not until he felt her fingers brush him there through the fabric. He gasped in surprise and pleasure as heat pooled in his groin and there would be no mistaking his desire for her now. “The angel help me.” He breathed more for his own benefit as he lifted his hips slightly so she had better access to complete her task and he groaned out loud a few moments later when he felt her hand press against his length. Any more sounds he may have made were stifled as her mouth captured his once more, and Eli kissed her back at the same pace she set.

He knew with confidence she had never done anything like this before and he had been prepared to guide her every step of the way through it if that was what she required of him but as her hand stroked him gently, causing him to moan against her lips, it seemed that instinct was guiding her along without the need for his help. He felt her hands in the waistband of his jeans moments later, felt the eagerness in them as she began removing them and he too became eager, excited further by the clear need she had for them to be gone from his body.Without his help however they would not come off quickly so he shifted apart from her shucking them down his legs with her help before he was kicking them off.

Eli returned to her immediately, pressing himself against her pelvis as almost an apology for the brief separation. His head lowered so he could nip gently at her collarbone as he felt her quiver beneath him. He sighed against her skin as her hands raked gently over his bare back, causing him to rock against her as his lust for her almost spilled over the edge and again he had to remind himself to go slow, and be gentle with her. “Audrina…” He spoke her name just as breathlessly as she had his and slowly rocked his hips into her, feeling exhilarated that he was causing her so much pleasure already and they had yet to remove all their clothes.

The dark haired male felt her mouth once more at his neck and he arched it back a little so her lips had more room to explore and discover what would cause him to moan again. His skin felt like it was on fire, he burned all over and as one hand found the flat of her stomach he was reassured that he was not the only one who felt overly warm from their actions. His fingers had just found the thin band of her underwear at the same moment her hands came to grip his shoulders applying gentle pressure before she shifted beneath him and he guessed what she wanted from him without her need to say it out loud. He didn’t deny her little experimentation and moved as she wanted him to, his hands coming to grip her sides gently so the movement was fluid and neither of them needed to break contact.

With Audrina now on top of him it was much easier for his hands to explore slender figure without the fear that his weight would squash her. He liked the change, very much so especially when she began moving her pelvis against his hardened length and he arched his hips to add more pressure to her movements only slightly annoyed that there was still two layers of clothing between them. But he didn’t let that bother him too much because he knew it wouldn’t be long now, his hands were already sliding up her sides, his fingers brushing over her breasts still encased in her bra but he was about to rectify that very soon.

Whilst she kissed his neck and caused an unknown amount of desire to flood through him his hands had moved to the back of her bra, his fingers finding the clip that held it together. He unsnapped the hook in under ten seconds and the fabric fell apart slipping half down her shoulders without any help from him. He allowed his hands to mimic the same movement over her bare shoulders, feeling her soft skin beneath his palms before slipping the straps off completely, her bra falling away onto his chest for a moment before he found it flicked it aside.

He had a great view since she had taken the initiative and now sat above him and he moaned just by looking at her soft mounds, his blue eyes darkening with pleasure at the sight of her bare breasts and perky nipples. He couldn’t hold back whilst she adjusted to the idea of being so exposed to him, his hands were cupping each breast, feeling their weight whilst his thumb rolled over her nipples. He heard her gasp against his neck, a mixture of surprise and pleasure from his touch and it sent a thrill of excitement through him once more. Seconds later his mouth was replacing his hands, white hot desire urged him on and for a moment as he sucked in her nipple and flicked his tongue over it he forgot that she had never had anyone touch her like this. He fell into his own selfish lust for her sucking and swirling her nipple around his tongue, his hips grinding upwards into her.

Eli growled in frustration as he was reminded that she still had her underwear on and he his and made to fix the problem. His mouth still suckled her breast, interchanging between the two mounds as his hands dropped to her waist and he tucked his thumbs into either side of her underwear tugging them down quickly, greedily. It was the sound of them tearing that snapped him out of his lust filled haze and remembered to be gentle. His mouth broke from her now red and swollen nipples but he placed a soft kiss to each mound like an apology for being so rough with them.

He went back to removing her underwear, slowly this time, he slipped it down the remainder of her thighs, lifting himself from the pillows so he could pull them the rest of the way down her legs, his mouth finding hers for a kiss at the same time. Finally she was completely naked before him and he fell back against the pillows to not only catch a breath and calm his racing pulse but to take her all in again, this time with nothing on at all. “Audrina…” He sighed softly, satisfied completely with what he saw, she was perfection and she didn’t even know it. Gently this time his hands reached up to cup her breasts but they were falling away a moment later, dropping to her thighs and his fingers began softly massaging the flesh. The inside of her thighs were warm and welcoming to his touch and as he slowly moved the massage upwards he felt her warmth grow and his own lower half throbbed painfully against the cotton boxers he still wore.

This was one moment he wanted to simply watch her though, he wanted to see each expression cross her face as she discovered each knew sensation his touch would create. One hand remained resting against her thigh as the other made its way further between her legs, slowly, giving her time to adjust to his hand being in an extremely intimate place. His fingers brushed lightly against her folds and upon discovering she was already wet with desire his hips bucked uncontrollably as he almost lost it completely. “Audrina.” He said her name again this time it was laced with not only want but an almost primal need to have her fully, but it was not quite time yet, he needed to be absolutely sure that she was psychically ready for him.

Eli, at an experimental pace, slipped one finger between her folds their eyes still locked so he could see her reaction and he smiled in satisfaction as her cheeks flushed as he found the soft bud of flesh that he doubted she even knew how much pleasure it could create if done right. In that moment he forgot his own need for gratification as he focused only on hers and in its own way it brought him an endless amount of joy. He felt her squirm a little as his finger applied just the right amount of pressure whilst it brushed over her sensitive bud and it spurred him further to carefully slip another finger inside of her this time. Feeling her hot slickness around his finger caused him to squirm as well as his length grew harder, almost bursting from its confines, and he wondered how much longer he could torture himself with simply touching her.

[Yunalesca]

She could think of very little as her lips moved over his neck, gently pulling at his skin while her hips rolled over him, the most sensitive part of her edging over each inch of him before sliding back and making him groan. Heat was pooling more rapidly into her extremeties, preparing her to have him, before she finally felt the slight pressure about her chest loosen and she had to pause in her gentle nips of his flesh. He had unclipped her bra and was sliding the straps down, hands slow but nearly shaking as he wanted to see her without it for the first time. Instead of fear she felt another roll of quicvering excitement as the straps fell to her hands, then the fabric was fine. She swallowed a heavy lump in her throat before she lifted her torso for him to see her fully. The chill of the air hit her breasts and hardened her nipples further as she let him look at her, her hands massaging his abdomen as he took her in and the length of him throbbed even harder against her underwear. Unable to bear it any longer she lowered herself to him again just in time to meet his hands and gasp into his flesh.

A wave of fire lanced from her breasts to her groin and she moaned before sensing what more he wanted to do before the next layer would come off. She rolled over the length of him again to raise herself up further, exposing her breasts to him before she felt the hot wetness of his mouth at one of her breasts. It felt like nothing she had ever experienced before. Instantly her mind blanked and her eyes opened, pupils dilating as she sat up, hands in his hair and pulling him with her as he latched onto another breast. Her breathing grew ragged between her soft calls of his name, one hand scraping at the base of his neck while the other twined tightly in his hair. She felt his lust taking over as sweet suckling turned more aggressive, a small amount of pain shooting from her breasts to her middle before his hands began to tear at her underwear. At this stage she could barely discern the difference between pain and pleasure, only knowing he might have done wrong as he turned to kiss each breast gently as though asking for forgiveness. Her head that had been tilted back to the heavens now turned back down to him to look him in the eye, telling him there was nothing to forgive through the burning flame of desire before she pressed herself to him and lowered them toward the pillows again.

She let him draw her mouth to his as his hands began to slide the fabric of her underwear down her legs, the movement slow as movements that brought ecstacy ceased momentarily so he could focus on the task at hand. If he had shredded her underwear and gone for her moments earlier she would have never stopped him as she was so lost in that white hot fire, but that was why she gave control back to him. She couldn't gauge herself or the pace at which this would go. She wanted him like nothing else in this world and hadn't been so prone to greed in all her life. At this moment, however, she was given a moment to breathe as the panties came off and were lost to some floorboard of the room. She broke from his kiss to take a deep breath before sitting up again, knowing he wanted to gaze upon her like never before. No other man had this perivelege and he knew it, thoughts apparent in his voice beneath the desire. There was no mistaking he loved her and was doing this out of affection. At one point she might have been some prize to be won simply because of how much disdain she held for him, but now...

Thoughts stopped as a hand found her breast again while another began massaging toward her most sensitive parts. Her hands pressed against his abdomen as though she were trying to brace herself, she knew what was coming. Nothing could have prepared her for the feel of him massaging her, however, the lone action sending a shudder through her and making her skin ripple into goosebumps. Before she could even moan his name he was moving forward and pressing a finger inside her. She felt everything stop in that moment, no thoughts, no breathing as her eyes widened and skin flushed at the feel of him inside her. She froze as he inserted another and explored her, watching her as he did so. Her muscles tensed around him and her fingers curled about the waist of his boxers before another shudder took her and her eyes had to close. Her kind focused on the feel of him inside her, something so foreign and yet so right. "Oh...gods...Eli," she managed to whisper before taking a shaky breath as her body quaked.

She felt him throbbing against the side of her thigh as he worked in her, each sound brought from her egging him on as her fingers curled tighter on the fabric of his boxers until they were right against him. Eli her mind moaned before she pressed a hand to his abdomen as though it held a 'stop' button. Hr was so in time with her that she felt his ministrations slow and eventually cease, looking to her to see why she would ask him to. Slowly she brought her her up to look at him, eyes alight with warm fire. "I want you, I want these clothes off and I want you," she said with chest heaving from the ecstacy he had given her already. She could feel his pulse pound a little harder against her thighs before she lifted herself and pulled his boxers away when his fingers separated from her. She moved down with the fabric tto pull it completely off before she threw them.

She knew Eli enjoyed her being over him, enjoyed looking at her naked flesh as he touched her, but from here she didn't think she could guide herself over him. As she looked at the length of him, brushing him as she sat there, she knew she couldn't navigate this. Finally she drew her eyes from the length of him and locked eyes with his. Slowly she crawled toward him and eventually lay next to him, inviting him over her once more. Even in the heat of this, right on the edge of it all, she could feel the silent question on the air. Her eyes found his before her hand reached out to take his, pulling it to her breast as her forehead met his. "I want this. I want to feel your love," she said as eloquently as she could before her lips found his again.

[Serendipity]

It was becoming near impossible to control his shuddering breath as he watched her eyes widened and grow warm when his fingers found her heat and slipped inside. The hand that was at her breast, thumb rolling over her nipple every now and again, soon dropped to rest at her hip so his concentration could focus elsewhere. Gently his fingers continued to work slowly in and out of her, his thumb brushing her sensitive bud occasionally as he prepared her body for what was to come. She was clearly ready for more than just the ministrations of his fingers, he could feel it, and sense it in the way she wiggled against his hand. But he reminded himself that they needed to continue at this vigilant pace, too fast and he could hurt her despite her body showing signs of just how ready she was.

Still it took quite a bit of his reserve to continue at this slow pace, he wanted to feel her heat tight around him and not just his fingers and was growing just a little impatient even though he knew slow was the right way to go. Despite his growing impatience Eli was quite willing to let the desire burning within her to build and spill over into ecstasy first before he took her for the first time, it may have made it easier. However it seemed Audrina was growing just as impatient as he was and she wanted exactly the same thing as he, for him to be inside of her. It was becoming increasingly obvious that he was also more than ready for her, he had been for quite some time in fact. He recognised her signals, both of them able to read the others needs and wants already. Eli sucked in a sharp yet unsteady breath as he felt her hand brush along his length before both of her hands pulled at the waistband of his boxers her words telling him how badly she wanted them off.

Carefully he pulled his fingers out of her so she could move down his body in order to remove his last remaining barrier of clothing, he helped her with the process by lifting his hips a little. His eyes closed once they were off and he arched himself into her hands allowing a slow moan to sound from his lips. This was it, he thought and opened his eyes to search for her face seeing the same thoughts reflect in her orbs. As much as he enjoyed her sitting over him and the easy access it created to every part of her body he was aware that this was not the position they should continue in. Another time they could explore the possibility of this position but for now she needed to be comfortable and feel secure.

As she came back up to now lay beside him instead he rolled over on his side, his lips finding hers in gentle caress before he was leaning up on his elbows and then climbing over her. He searched her face for any signs of hesitation now that they were reaching the point of no return but he saw none and instead heard her reassuring words in his ear. "I want this. I want to feel your love," She said and almost as if to prove it her hand came down between them to brush over his throbbing length sending a burning heat to pool in his groin. She wanted this and he wanted this, so badly, he couldn’t hold them off any longer, couldn’t deny her what she wanted.

He held his weight up with both hands either side of her head as he used one knee then the other to slide between her legs and shift them apart. His movements caused him to brush against her folds and he trembled once more as he was reminded by the dampness he felt there just how much she did want this. With her legs now resting around his hips he dipped his head to kiss her mouth and took himself in hand guiding the tip of his length to her opening. “I love you.” He murmured over her lips between kissing her. And as he kissed her, and felt her fingers curl once more into his hair he rubbed the tip of himself against her opening. He moaned when he felt her legs widened just that little bit more and it was that cue that had him then guiding his length inside of her slowly, inch by painstaking inch. It took every ounce of his restraint to go slow, the feeling of her hot slickness encasing him was incredible and already he could feel her adjusting to the foreignness of him but he could guess he would meet her barrier soon.

Before that moment came he made sure to overload her with with as many pleasurable distractions as he could manage so the pain she would soon feel wouldn’t hurt so much, at least that was his theory anyway. He continued to kiss her, lowering himself onto his elbow now so their bodies were pressed together and with his other hand he caressed her side in an upward motions until he found one of her breasts, cupping it into his palm as he had done before.

[Yunalesca]

In her nightmares of a moment like this she had felt fear and pain, felt raped of any good feeling and that losing that last bit of innocence to someone would kill her. That was not the case, she found, with Eli however. He brought her heartbeat to an alarming rate and made her shudder with ecstacy even before entering her. He was the furthest thing from a nightmare, he was a dream only angels could send and it was the last thought she had as they locked eyes before he was kissing her. She felt the tip of him brush her to warn her he was going to begin what they had worked for, a little teasing at the lip of her opening that made her breath come up short. "I love you," she responded with, giving him one last permission before she brought her hands up to sink in his hair and instinctually widen her hips to envelop him.

He was careful as she felt him press into her, filling her slowly so she would only feel pressure and not pain. It was a different feeling and took some adjusting as she wondered if she could take the length of him inside her. She knew all men were not created equal and, though she was inexperienced, felt Eli was bigger than most. She didn't know if her tiny body could accommodate him and worried for a split second before he lowered himself closer to her. Their hot skin met, his abs rippling over her stomach as he inched himself into her, the sensation becoming more comfortable as one of her hands scraped gently down his back.

When his hand found her breast she felt another wave of heat spill into her pelvis, wrapping around him as he seemed to pause briefly. She was riding a wave of pleasure, but could still think straight enough to know this was it. He was about to break through the virginal barrier and she didn't want him to stop. To tell him it was alright, her mouth parted from his and she turned her head to kiss the side of his neck, mouth urging him to bury the last few inches of himself into her. Already they were in tune with one another and so she didn't need to tell him twice. She could almost feel him take a breath before he pushed those last few inches into her.

She felt herself freeze as he met the barrier inside of her, gently pressing against it before he began adding a little more force. She wasn't prepared for any of this and so didn't know what kind of pain she would feel, just that it wouldn't be quite as pleasurable as what they had been doing. A stinging began to start from her groin and quickly spread to her core, numbing her abdomen as he began breaking through her virginity. She wouldn't cry out, she promised herself as the pressure became a little more intense. She felt him working to be careful and trying to distract her from what was happening inside her, but her mind was tuned into the shattering she began to feel. She could feel him tearing her, but just as she began to tense and stop breathing, the lines between pain and pleasure began to blur.

She felt a new hot fire envelop his manhood as he broke her barrier and subsequently she no longer felt twinging pain. He was waiting to hear her cry out in pain, but it never came due to the care he had taken with her. She felt him reach his end, tip buried in the deepest chasms of her body before he carefully began drawing himself out of her again. With no barrier to stop him and her body already stretched to take him, he could do so a little more smoothly. His first draw was slow and careful as each seemed to adjust to the tight feel of the other, but once he was buried to the hilt in her again she felt a building ecstacy reverberate through her. "Eli," she moaned as he began pulling himself out of her again.

Thoughts of fear and discomfort were long gone as they began to find their rhythm, her back arching and moans escaping her lips as she reveled in the feel of him between her legs. Once the painful part was over she didn't want him to ever stop. Her hands delved into his sweaty hair, ran over his body, scraped carefully against his skin as she felt a release building in her core somewhere between moan inducing ecstacy. Why she had ever denied herself this she couldn't answer as she could feel they were reaching that peak and he began moving a little faster though with the same great care. Some other time she felt she could take him being rough, envelop him as he tried a new angle, but for this moment she could only handle so much tearing.

Finally she felt them reaching the summit, their breathing impossibly heavy and groans of pleasure more frequent. She wanted him to spill over into her, wanted to feel him climax at the same time she did. It would be the closest to heaven she would ever get and she would do it with Eli over her, filling her. "Eli," she moaned nearly breathlessly as her fingers began to curl into his hair and skin. She could feel them right at the edge, a few more strokes away. I love you she thought in her mind as her back arched again and it began to start.

[Serendipity]

His soft kisses and gentle caresses helped to distract her as he carefully pushed himself further into her, slowly and surely until he met with her barrier and it was at this moment that he took a breath knowing it might hurt her but also knowing it was the only way to continue their lovemaking and it was what she wanted. He waited for her to wince or cry out in pain as he pressed further and felt the resistance. None came as he finally broke through and buried himself completely inside of her and he almost sighed with relief but the tight pressure around him as she adjusted to it all only caused him to moan slightly. She felt amazing, it all felt amazing and he was eager to continue but still he knew to be careful and allow the pace to set itself.

Eli’s lips met with Audrina’s once more and it was a tender kiss before he slowly drew himself out of her and felt them both shudder with the action as pleasure built over any uncertainty. With the same measure of care he buried himself inside of her again feeling her stretch a little more to accommodate his full length. A groan escaped his lips in response to her speaking his name as both their pleasure mounted and he rocked his hips against hers before withdrawing and burying himself inside her again with a little more feverence.

They were both finding their rhythm and with each sound of pleasure from her he grew confident that he wouldn’t hurt her. His lips found the side of her neck, his teeth nipping at her pulse as the pressure built and he knew he couldn’t hold out much longer but he also suspected neither could she. The way she arched her back and moaned with each thrust sent chills of ecstasy through him and his moans matched with hers, growing excited by the feel of her nails scraping over his sides. Another time they might sink deep into his skin and send him spiraling over the edge but she was careful just as he was to make sure they both reached summit together this time around.

His breathing became heavy and hot as his strokes became swift and eager, his mouth nuzzling her neck stifled the groans of pure bliss he was making as he felt them both nearing that point which would send them to heaven and back. He felt her hands tighten in his hair now and her back arch as her ascent began and he thrust deeper into her ready to meet her there. “Audrina,” He spoke her name somewhere between a groan and a gasp as her muscles began to tighten around him, her legs gripping him into her more firmly and it was enough to send him into his own release, giving one last thrust before he spilt himself deep inside of her just as he felt her begin to throb around him.

“Audrina,” He moaned her name again finding her mouth and covering it with his as he gently rocked into her and slowly brought them both down from the heavens. Hot and sweaty, and still breathless he lifted his head so he could see her face though he didn't need her flushed cheeks and darkened eyes to know she was completely sated because he had felt that, he just wanted to look at her now after their lovemaking and he was still inside of her. He didn’t feel the need to ask if she was okay either because he sensed she was - more than okay in fact, and a tender grin took over his lips. “You are amazing,” He murmured and as his heart still hammered away in his chest he carefully slipped out of her before before he rolled over onto his back, taking her with him, his hand stroking her hair soothingly while she also tried to catch her breath.

[Yunalesca]

When the moment finally came she couldn’t have possibly imagined or prepared for what happened within her. Her body coiled tightly around him, clinging to him as though she were afraid she would lose herself completely if he wasn’t there with her. She held onto the feelings, wrapping them tightly in her mind to be stored for vivid memory when she wished to recall this first time, but as she felt him slide through her one more time she lost everything. The moment his heat spilled into her she couldn’t help herself as her fingers locked into position and her back arched, her wish to hold onto the feelings completely lost in her mind as she tumbled over the edge. She wouldn’t remember if she was able to say his name or not when they reached the summit together as one. There were so many things firing in her mind that she couldn’t grasp a single one before it was fleeting to be replaced with another spasm of ecstasy. She didn’t breathe and couldn’t see as she felt blinded by a non-existent light shining over them. There was nothing in this world she could relate the feeling to when their lovemaking came to a head and left her in a near state of shock. Her body tingled with sensations, so many that she couldn’t catalogue them efficiently.

She finally felt herself come back down and take a sharp inhale of breath, filling her air deprived lungs as he looked at her. She barely noted the grin on his face as all she could focus on was the feel of him still inside of her. It was foreign to her body, but it felt beyond right now as she nearly trembled beneath him. Her pupils were dilated and skin flushed from their efforts, a sure enough sign that he had done everything right. His voice reached her ears before he was gently pulling out of her, it sounding muffled as her ears rang while she worked to regain her senses. She felt almost paralyzed until she was reminded of her limbs when he pulled her over with him. Her head rested over his still pounding heart and fingers of her right hand splayed across his chest. She closed her eyes for a moment to try and gain some sense of control, though all she saw was flashes of light dancing across her eyelids. The effort to come down from her high was immense, though she wasn’t about to fight it.

When her breathing wasn’t quite so labored and she was actually able to feel his fingers rustling through her hair affectionately, she opened her eyes anew and smiled softly against his skin. “I should’ve never waited this long,” she managed to murmur against him as she found control of her hand and brushed her fingers over his skin affectionately. She couldn’t imagine having ever let anyone else become a part of her like this and so spoke only of how long it had taken her to let him in. Even after she said it, however, her mind acknowledged that only now had been the right time. If this had happened before there might not have been so much care and he may have hurt her, broken her for good. This was the truth, but she wouldn’t say it out loud. Only with time he had learned she was still innocent in this respect and it wasn’t something she would have admitted to him. He had figured it out on his own and thinking of it made her smile anew, hand running across his skin affectionately once more.

When her strength was returned and the chill of the air was finally setting in on her skin, she lifted her head to look at him, eyes glowing with admiration and love. Her other hand slid out from between them and brushed at the hair beginning to dry at his face, taking time to memorize him by touch. He was everything she ever needed and had been right in front of her for so long waiting. “I was a fool when we met. I should’ve loved you from that moment.” She said with a warm smile before she pulled herself up slightly to kiss him gently. Everything about their touches had been ravenous before, eager to sate the sexual hunger. Now her kiss was tender and full of affection for him she’d never had before. Her other hand came up from his chest and slid to the back of his neck and in his hair. She put everything into the kiss before she finally had to part from him to draw breath again.

When she broke from him she hovered above him for some time, memories of their lovemaking flashing through her mind as she studied his face. How could she not love him? He was far removed from the jerks of the world who would have dropped her the moment they got what they wanted, though it had taken her time to understand this. She’d had few intentions when she went down to the kitchen to speak with him earlier, but she was damn glad she had made a move on him, boldly telling him what she wanted. They could have taken things slow, slowly working up to this bliss, but she felt she had made the right choice in giving herself tonight. He hadn’t rushed through, had treated her delicately, there was nothing more she could ask of him. The fact she hadn’t eaten all day was nowhere in her mind as she felt she could survive off his touch alone.

Eventually she smiled down at him with a slightly playful grin. “I don’t suppose I need to ask to sleep with you anymore, do I?” She said in a joking manner considering how he knew her body now. Neither of them would have to fear the boundaries anymore, be mindful of where their hands rested of how their bodies curled against each other. He made everything better and she could only imagine how powerful that shield was with their naked selves wrapped up in each other as they slept. It would be another new experience for her and she didn’t have the slightest ambition to put a shred of clothing on tonight.

[Serendipity]

He was sure it would take days for him to come down from this high Audrina had given him, he felt spent and satisfied, but not only that he also felt extremely, unbelievably, happy. She made him feel this way and had given him a gift that would forever be in his heart, a gift no one else had ever given him and he would cherish it always. A slow smile formed over the brunette’s lips at this thought, his heart swelling with even more love for the blonde now curled into his side. He was still smiling when he felt her hand brush some of his still damp hair from his forehead and pull herself up slightly, his head turned and chin tilted in her direction, peeking at her through half-lids. He heard her words and smiled a little more, gathering her closer into his side with the arm that had stayed around her waist when he’d rolled them both over.

“Hmm, maybe...” Eli murmured in reply before thinking on her words further and what it might have meant if this had happened from the beginning. It would have been different though, he wouldn’t have known her as he did know and wouldn’t have known she was still a virgin. Instead of her falling in love with him he could have very well made her hate him. “I guess things happen at their own pace, I don’t think it would be the same then as it is now.” He added softly before her lips came down to press a tender kiss to his, and gently with his free hand he cupped the side of her face, sinking his fingers into her hair kissing her back with the same gentleness and love. There was no doubt anywhere in his mind that she loved him, and he promised himself he would do anything to keep her love and keep them both happy.

His fingers lingered in her hair even as the kiss ended but neither of them seemed eager to break contact any time soon so he didn’t feel like he was keeping her from moving away. All of this was new to both of them but they were comfortable with each other and not surprising at all, everything felt entirely natural. His fingers left her hair as she spoke again and he brushed her fringe from her eyes, smiling softly back up at her before he answered. "If I could help it I would never let you leave this bed again."

"But if I kept you here, I wouldn't be able to have you in other places." His smile turning playful but his eyes grew dark with heat thinking about all the possibilities. "Wait here," he said after a time and quickly pecked her nose with a kiss before, regretfully, un-tangling his limbs from hers so he could get up. Before she could protest he rounded the bed, not bothering to find his clothes, and disappeared into the ensuite. He was just guessing, but he thought she might be a little sore after their lovemaking since she would have used muscles she hadn't used before or even thought of. A soak in a hot bath would help, and he had to admit he liked the idea of being in there with her more for the sensual side of things.

Eli ran the tub with the right mix of hot and cold water to get the right temperature then found some bubble bath. It was almost empty and he added it to the mental shopping list of things they needed whenever they decided to leave the house, which unfortunately would have to be soon if they wanted to eat. The tub was quickly filling up as he came back into the room and back to the bed. "Alright, hop up." He grinned, gesturing for her to take his hands as he leant over her side of the bed to help her out.

As she came up after taking his hands he stopped her on her knees because he couldn't resist another kiss. Eli's mouth found Audrina's whilst his arms slid around her waist pulling her against him. They were both still naked and when her bare breasts pressed against his bare chest it caused him to moan. Heat ripped through him, white hot and just as intense as before; they had only just made love but he wanted her again. He groaned into her mouth before reluctantly pulling away, remembering the bath he had running for them.

"I know you are more then capable of walking..." He started to explain as a grin took over her expression and he scooped her up into his arms. "But I like this, and I like it even more without clothes." He finished, turning them both towards the bathroom. He was fairly confident he wouldn't hear any complaints on her end though.

[Yunalesca]

She couldn’t help the slight flush that rose into her cheeks when he spoke in innuendo that she might have stabbed him for in the past. Her mind quickly flashed to the feel of his mouth at her neck, his voice whispering he loved her as he took care in touching her intimately for the first time. The heat he began to feel was flowing in her veins now and it was something she couldn’t shake; not wanting to shake. She found what had happened between them was already turning into a drug. She didn’t want to leave his side, didn’t want to ever have to part from him again. She didn’t know if this was normal, just that when Shadowhunter’s found love they did so with an intensity that surpassed any human love that had ever existed, or so her mother had said to her once. That was the only reason she had known that he was it, that she loved him. She had never felt anything like it before and ignoring it hadn’t made it go away.

At his announcement she was caught by surprise with his peck on her nose and abrupt departure. She barely had time to untangle from him before he was gone. Her voice hadn’t even been able to formulate a protest as her eyes moved to follow him as he entered the adjoining bathroom she hadn’t even noticed was there; her mind had been far too distracted for such details. She sighed heavily in silent protest to his missing warmth before she curled into herself slightly, head resting on a pillow and her mind reflecting on their shared intimacy once more. It was only with recalling him carefully entering her did she feel a tightness in her extremities. It was a slightly painful ache reminiscent of the pain that had shot through her leg when she’d had night terrors of her leg snapping the night she’d been in the hotel with her mother. She wondered if it would always be like this after sleeping with him or if it was just due to it being her first time. She recalled feeling him tear the wall inside her, breaking through her barrier before pain had faded into something far more pleasurable. She was deciding that in time her body would be stretched to fit him without pain when he was returning to her side.

She raised her head from the pillow as he leaned toward her, her eyes only looking to his despite the fact she could have had a view of any part of him is she so wished it in that moment. His body had looked and felt phenomenal when she’d had the opportunity to explore it, but it was always his eyes that drew her the most. They were unguarded and beyond beautiful, a window to that beast still awake within him as well as a sensuality she hadn’t ever thought to see in him. She was distracted by the look and didn’t even realize her body had mechanically taken his hands until she was pressed up against him, the reality of their nakedness hitting her again at the feel of his warmth. Her hands pulled from his the moment she read his intentions, scaling up his shoulders to his neck and finally into the hair she loved to bury them into. When he kissed her she felt alive and couldn’t help the gasping moan against his lips when fire erupted inside her once more. His touch made her skin turn hot once more and she wondered how she would get through a day without needing a cold shower to cool the embers burning inside her. She could feel he was going through the same ordeal while they kissed, his body pressed close so she could miss nothing. She could taste his want for her again and it made her pull his hair gently. She felt a twinge of fear that it would hurt if she tried again so soon, but remembering the ecstasy and how he said her name made her shove the feeling away. If he was going to take her again she wasn’t going to stop him.

Making love to her again did not seem to be his intentions, however, as he broke the kiss and quickly scooped her up into his arms, holding her tenderly against him. Her arms wrapped around his neck as her eyes found his after a little squeak of surprise escaped her, something she was sure she would never live down. A half devious grin pulled at the corner of her mouth as he walked them toward the bathroom where she was now sure a bath was waiting. “I’m not so sure my legs can even work right now,” she admitted before the warmth coming off the bath hit her skin and made her turn her attention to it. The water looked more than inviting as she was reminded of her aches again. Her eyes swiveled back to his face as she offered an affectionate smile before her head tilted and her lips were pressing to his throat tenderly. She already knew how this simple gesture made him feel and thus knew she was riding that line, but knowing he wouldn’t hurt her made her a little more devil-may-care with him than usual. “I hope you’ll be joining me,” she whispered in his ear boldly, her voice almost sounding different even to herself. Never had she spoken this way with anyone and yet with him it didn’t feel awkward or frightening.

Her hands reached up to massage the base of his neck as she nuzzled against his skin affectionately, waiting to see how he would lower them to the warm water. Admittedly she was curious if they would both fit in the tub despite its decent size. This was another new experience for her, though thinking of the ways in which this could play out made her flush anew. This intimacy may be foreign to her, but it didn’t mean she didn’t have an imagination; it was definitely working now as she let herself feel his warm skin against her body, feel his hands wrapped around her possessively and yet with affection, feel his pulse reverberating through him. She couldn’t imagine how this could have gone any more perfectly and it was all thanks to him, Elijah Ashdown. Her Eli now. At this thought she felt something in her stomach flutter and a warm smile pull at her lips before she was kissing the skin at his throat once more.

[Serendipity]

“Oh, I have every intention of joining you.” He half groaned at the feeling of her lips at his neck, she was in the perfect position, in his arms, to reach just the right spot.Her kisses were distracting and for a moment he was tempted to turn around and take her straight back to bed. Her new found confidence to touch him how and when she wanted was something he knew he was definitely going to enjoy, and that he could touch her just as boldly in return - although there was still a little caution on his part. Eli resisted the urge only because he was aware that making love to her again so soon after the first time may cause her further discomfort - perhaps not during their lovemaking but certainly afterwards. So with that in mind, and with agile movements, he stepped into the bathtub not worried whether or not they would both fit, he knew they would, and lowered himself and Audrina down into the warm, bubbly, water. As he sat into the water he eased his arm out from under her legs which allowed her move into a sitting position in front of him with his knees raised slightly so she wasn’t sitting on his legs.

The position was comfortable and allowed her to recline back into him, the soapy water coming up to cover her chest so she was almost completely submerged apart from her shoulders. Eli’s arms had moved to encircle her around her waist and as the warm water soaked into them both he pressed a kiss on her shoulder, his lips remaining to nuzzle the side of her neck before his chin found a comfortable spot to rest near her ear. There was something amorous about sitting in a bubble bath with someone, especially with someone you loved. Someone you loved. His heart swelled with emotion as his mind suddenly acknowledged that there was no more hiding his feelings, no more torturous days, and nights, alone. It was a surreal feeling knowing that they both shared the same feelings for each other - and that they’d just made love and were now in a bubble bath together!

“I love you,” He murmured softly into her ear, wanting her to know how he felt and that he still felt this for her and it wasn’t just a ploy to get her into his bed. When he had first met her perhaps that had been the case, although he wouldn’t have tricked her into believing he loved her to do it. But over time, and getting to know her he had fallen in love with her and not just ‘in lust’ as she had thought - and even he had thought because he had never thought it could be possible for him to love any one. Not only had sworn off love because it had caused his mother such pain that she had had to end her own life to escape it, but Audrina had been against any type of intimacy or even friendship. The two of them falling in love should have been impossible, yet here they were - finally- in each others arms murmuring affectionate words to each other.

When she had confessed her love for him earlier that evening in the kitchen she had said she didn’t want to discuss anything else until after they had made love. There were still things unsaid between them, apologies and explanations needed to be given. At least he felt that he needed to do this. He wasn’t sure if now was the right time either, but he almost felt like if he didn’t say something now it would all just be swept under the rug so to speak and that might not be the best thing to happen. “It’s probably not the right time but there are things I need to say and I don’t know when the right time might be.” Eli said quietly, there was no need to speak so loud when they were so close. He could predict her reaction, and already felt her become apprehensive even as he unwrapped his arms from around her waist and placed his hands on her shoulders. His intentions were to massage the tension from them as he spoke, to keep her relaxed and in a way reassure her that whatever he wasn’t anything bad - or at least he didn’t think she would interpret it in a bad way.

“You don’t need to say anything if you don’t want to.” He assured her in case she thought he would need to hear any more explanations from her. Eli didn’t begin speaking straight away however, allowing his gentle massage to take effect and also giving him a chance to decide where he wanted to start. “We both know that when we first met I infuriated you. I was a ‘hinderance’ to your need to get on with finding your mother. You infuriated me just as much, you know, and I hated that you hated me. I guess I was never used to girls not liking me and it frustrated me even more that I found myself attracted to you despite all your efforts and forewarnings to make sure I would be anything but attracted to you. You were so adamant to push me and everyone else away it actually intrigued me to find out why, and I enjoyed pushing back.” Eli explained deciding that from the beginning was always the best place to start.

“I wanted to know why this feisty little blonde who seemed like nothing or no one could hurt her had built a fortress around herself, and I realised that your ‘tough chick’ attitude was mostly just a front - don’t get me wrong I’m well aware that you can easily hold your own, there’s no denying that.” The brunette continued being sure to let her know that he didn’t think that she couldn’t defend herself. His gentle massage continued all the while he spoke although he was prepared to stop if she wanted him to. “So it became my mission to break down those walls and find out what was behind them. What I didn’t realise was that in the process I was discovering the ‘real’ you and in turn giving the ‘real’ me away as well.” He admitted. “I was putting on a front as well as you probably found out. I’d always been a little overconfident to begin with but after my parents died I used that as my shield, I guess. I swore I would never let anyone in enough to hurt me as much a loosing my parents had hurt. We shared that in common although neither of us was aware of that until recently.”

“As time went on and I was getting to know you little by little our acquaintance grew into more of a understanding of each other...then a little more for me.” He continued to explain. “I still haven’t pinpointed the exact moment I fell in love with you because I don’t think there was an exact moment, there were many moments. I do know when I realised that I was in love with you though.” His hands paused on her shoulders because recalling that moment also meant to recall a scene he wished to forget entirely. “It was during our rescue mission to get Travis back, when -” Eli took in a small breath before he went on and his fingers began to rub into her flesh once more. “When that bastard had intentions of hurting you, and I thought...god I thought I was going to lose you and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. If it wasn’t for Travis…” Eli sucked in a slightly shaky breath, holding it for a moment before he let it out and buried his face into the side of her neck. Breathing in her scent had a calming effect on him however and instead of becoming angry or continuing down a depressing ‘what if’ scenario he changed directions. “Anyway...Do you know how hard it was to hide how I felt after that?” He questioned with a slight chuckle but wasn’t expecting an answer.

He lifted his face from her neck and pressed his lips against the top of her head before he kept talking. So far she hadn’t interrupted although there were probably already things that she wanted to say she was allowing him the time to get it all out and he appreciated it. “I knew I couldn’t tell you, even though we had gotten closer by then you’d have thought I was just trying to get you into bed. I knew you enough by then to know you would have freaked out and probably would have pushed out of your life permanently. I would have rather just stuck to being your friend then not being in your life - at least that’s what I thought to begin with, but then it got hard, really hard…”

“And when you started pushing me away I told myself I needed to stay away from you, for my heart's sake, so we avoided each other as much as we could. Then I thought maybe the only way to get you out of my head and out of my heart was to sleep with someone else - but I couldn’t!” He added quickly remembering how she had caught he and Darcy leaving his room and would have assumed the obvious. “I haven’t been with anyone since meeting you.” He reassured in case she was wondering. “After our last argument in your room I knew then I had to leave, I couldn’t be under the same roof as you thinking that you thought of me like such a monster. But of course you couldn’t stay out of trouble and there I was again helping you back to the Institute because I’d worry about you if I didn’t know you were safe.” He explained referring to the night she’d been drugged and the last time he saw her before finding her half dead after battling with her mother.

“I’m not sure what happened with you between that as I’d moved in with Travis and his pack because I made a point of not speaking to anyone from the Institute because I didn’t want to hear that you’d come home battered and bruised again, it made me so mad every time I knew someone had laid a hand on you and that you just kept putting yourself in danger.” Eli confessed. “It wasn’t until they cornered me at the burger joint Travis is now running that I was even aware you’d gone missing. When I found out that it wasn’t just your usual vampire hunt and you were going after your mother I feared it was too late.” He remembered how he’d felt thinking that she was already dead and his stomach twisted sickenly at the thought of it once more.

“Isabelle probably told you that I found you first and what happened afterwards but she couldn’t know the thoughts running through my head when I thought you were dead, there was so much blood and you weren’t moving, and if you were breathing it was very little.” Eli explained, shaking his head a little, the memory was still very disturbing to him and he supposed it would always be. His hands dropped from her shoulders and came around her waist once more under the water, hugging her against his for his own comfort while he continued on. “My whole world fell to pieces when I saw you lying there, I might not have known you felt the same way about me as I do you and I honestly thought we would never be together regardless but that didn’t matter, it didn’t change the fact that I almost died on the inside thinking you were gone. And I prayed to every god known to man that you would come back to me...I guess one of them listened…” He tapered off slightly before going on. “I took you back to the Institute after - after Travis bit you- but as you know I didn’t stay. I should have stayed.” He cursed himself for that decision every day since leaving her there but he’d honestly thought it was the best thing to do. “But no one knew for certain if you’d come out of it alive or changed, and I couldn’t sit there and watch it happen. Then even knowing you survived - Alec made a point of letting me know- I was afraid of facing you, of you telling me how monstrous it was of me to allow my brother to bite you. I thought you would tell me you hated me, that you never wanted to see me I don’t know if I could have dealt with that without falling apart completely.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there and I didn’t come back to see you after you recovered.” Eli whispered, he felt guilt still for his decision to stay away from her. “After all the times I was there for you the one time it mattered most I ran. I’m not as brave as you think I am, Audrina. I was terrified that you wouldn’t recover and of your rejection. Then you showed up on my doorstep and of course I thought you were here too shout at me and tell me you never wanted to see me again, but you didn’t and for a fleeting moment I had hope for something more. And I guess you know the rest…”

“I just wanted you to know all of that so you know I’m not just saying I love you because its what you wanted to hear, its the truth and I’ve known it for a while now.” Eli finished, feeling better for getting that off his chest. “I love you, and I will always love you Audrina DuPage.”

[Yunalesca]

The combination of his groan and disclosure of joining her in the warm water made her smile uncontrollably against his skin where her lips were still pressed. Based on the tension that surfaced briefly in the arms that held her she could tell he had half a thought to return her to the bedroom to further explore this newfound intimacy, but he restrained himself and instead stepped into the tub with Shadowhunter’s grace. Just thinking about how he’d made her feel only moments earlier made her almost want to nibble gently on the flesh of his neck just to get him to return them to the bed, but she restrained herself this time. Too much too soon may damage her and make it difficult in the near future when she would sleep with him again; If she wanted to have him again soon then she may want to heed his caution, he knew more about this than she did after all.

She found a comfortable position just as effortlessly as he did once they settled into the warm water, her body sinking just enough to let the foam from the bubbles lap against her collarbone so her shoulders and neck were still exposed to him should he want to touch them as she was sure he would. It didn’t take long for the warmth of the water to begin working to soothe away the aching knots in her core, soreness washing away and leaving her mind more free to actually feel Eli’s firm body at her back. With a level of concentration she could feel the etch of his abs against her spine and a little more heat that radiated off his skin into hers. As it seemed it would always be with him, however, her concentration broke with the feel of his lips on her skin, arms encircling her, and eventually a loving nuzzle against her neck. She settled that little amount further into him to express her fondness of his actions as he couldn’t see the small smile of content on her lips.

Her eyes closed and she took a quiet breath when he professed his love for her again, the sound of it coming from him like nothing she had ever heard before. Knowing he had taken her out of love and not lust made her heartbeat hammer a little faster for a brief amount of time while she felt a warm tingling sensation come from her abdomen and move into her chest. “I love you,” she said quietly in return as her hands lowered into the water, one grasping for one of his hands to tangle her fingers with. There had been very rare moments in her life where she had felt safe and she had a feeling there may be no other place in which she would feel this level of it. Feeling the strength of his arms as they were wrapped around her and his body pressed against her back like a shell made her feel invincible.

Her feelings of content, however, were extremely fleeting the moment he started to state there were things he had to say. Years of disappointment and hurt made her habits of fear hard to break and her body began exhibiting the signs now as her mind raced. While before she had been relaxed against him and her hand running over his leg beneath the water, she grew more rigid and stopped her motions. She was thinking of a million ways he was going to break something awful to her; how she wasn’t good enough for him, how it was too little too late, or how he realized now he didn’t actually love her…That was until a voice rose above the rest and defended him, reminded her of how he had treated her with such care when she had arrived on his doorstep looking like a frightened wet rat. Listen to him before passing judgment the voice said rather sternly and she worked to try and relax once more. His fingers worked diligently at her shoulders to try and ease that tension he had obviously felt coming from her. She tried to fall into as best she could while part of her mind worked to determine if she was about to get a slap in the face or not; life had worked out that way a lot for her so it was a natural reflex at this point.

When he began to seemingly explain himself from the beginning, she felt the muscles in her body relax slightly as it didn’t seem as though he was going to say anything that would hurt her. She didn’t interrupt as he spoke as she felt he needed to get this out, something she had prevented him from doing before they had shared a bed together. She tensed up noticeably when he called her tough attitude a front, but she still held her tongue and eventually let herself relax once more. She could handle herself rather well, but a lot of her attitude had been to keep everyone else away from her so he did pin her down on that one. When he spoke of the rescue of his brother she immediately folded into him like before in an effort to seek comfort even if it did show some weakness on her part. What had happened had been traumatizing even though she had managed to erase it from her mind in the last two months as she tried to deal with what she had done to her mother. Her eyes closed and her hand ran gently over his leg again as she tried reminding herself Maddox was gone and she was safe here, though she worried once more that she might have those nightmares again. Eli would be there to hold her if she did, but she didn’t want to relapse after having spent time being so close to him.

It seemed the ebb and flow of tension in her was bound to continue as he brought up the girl she had seen him exit his room with, the girl she had kept secret from Hodge even though she wanted him to hurt like she had been. Her hand curled into a ball under the water, fingers tightening momentarily until he proclaimed he had been undyingly faithful to her since meeting her even though there hadn’t been anything between them. Her head dipped slightly while she took a breath to calm her nerves. She had never been jealous as she’d never had anyone to be jealous over, but she had felt the emotion consume her before it turned into a shock of stabbing pain in her chest. It wasn’t something she particularly wanted to experience again.

When he began coming to a close in the confession she felt the tension she’d been holding on reserve dissipate and finally she pressed back into him in a show of intimacy. He was right in that it had been something she needed to hear regardless of how it might make her feel over the course of it and she was grateful she knew his struggles. She carefully rested her head back against his shoulder while a small smile pulled at her lips as she thought over what he said once more. One of her hands stoked his leg gently so he wouldn’t take her silence the wrong way as she considered how to properly respond; she just needed a few moments to reflect before saying anything.

“You wouldn’t have liked what you saw if you’d have stayed, we might not be here now if you have. I wouldn’t have wanted to burden you with my pain even if you had been there.” She paused to consider carefully what she should tell him of the time he had been gone. Did she want him to feel guilty about not being there, or should she skim as best she could and hope he would let it lie. “I didn’t really leave my room, I watched the Guard haul Hodge off from my window. I didn’t hurt myself like everyone was expecting I would, I was just too vulnerable to be near anyone. It took everything I had to protect myself from my own thoughts. The only moment of clarity I had was when I knew I had to come here. I was letting myself take a risk without knowing what would become of it.” She said quietly with her hand still stroking his thigh as she thought back on all he had said.

“I had considered telling Hodge about her after I saw you together, but I never did. No matter how much it hurt to see that I couldn’t find it in myself to hurt you. I knew what the consequences might be and I just couldn’t do that to you. I was already feeling for you then, my mother was just blocking it out. With every step I tried to take toward you she would fill my head with these thoughts and I’d be yanked back two more paces. She knew what I felt and that she couldn’t turn you so she manipulated me away from you. If things had gone differently I might never had pulled away from you after what happened with Maddox, I might not have almost died.” She stopped with an intake of air while her eyes closed and she just let herself be surrounded by him for a moment. It was almost like she needed the reminder that he was there for her and wouldn’t pass judgment. He knew what had drove her to her behavior, had seen what she’d had to do firsthand.

“I can’t say when I fell in love with you, just that I already felt for you when we went after your brother. If I hadn’t I wouldn’t have turned around when I’d run away. I was almost out of New York and knew I couldn’t just leave you behind, couldn’t let you go after him without help. My fear of losing someone again clouded the emotions I should have been feeling. I’m sorry it took this long,” she ended and turned slightly so she could look at him, one of her hands coming up in the water to press against his chest and over his heart. “You’re the only person I’ve loved outside of my family and you’re the only person I want to love.” She admitted to him before pressing her lips to his, then slowly deepening the kiss. It was passionate and nearly left her breathless as her hand came up to massage into his hair. When it was beginning to turn into something a little more heavy she broke from him, trying to be careful in not provoking him too far.

“It’s Lillian, by the way…My middle name. I could hear the silent question.” She smiled at him before she brought her hand from his hair and pressed a finger to his lips. “I hate it, though. Too boring and too feminine. This is just between you and me.” She finished before she removed her hand and pressed her forehead against his affectionately. Her other arm came up from the water and draped over his shoulder so her hand could reach into his hair while the other was occupied with stroking his side. Statistically speaking they should have never ended up together, but it seemed they were continually destined to beat the odds that were always so impossibly stacked against them. “I love you, Elijah Ashdown.” She said once more, still getting used to the word after not having it in her vocabulary for so long.

[Serendipity]

Hearing Audrina explain that she’d had feelings for him since they had rescued Travis together and it was merely her mother and a witches black magic suppressing those feelings lifted a weight from his heart. He felt better knowing that she had cared for him during those times because he had suspected she had at certain points and when she had denied it he had felt as though he couldn’t trust his own instincts and that it was all just in his head. It was a relief to know that it wasn’t and although there were things said that were hard for both of them to hear he was glad they had taken this time to get it all out so they could start afresh with each other from now on - a clean slate to build upon.

“I don’t want to love anyone but you either.” Eli stated against her lips as Audrina ended the kiss that was quickly becoming heated, and tucked a few wayward strands of her hair back behind her ear before allowing the back of his finger to run down the line of her jaw. “We can’t go back and change those things, and you’re right, we might not be here now if I had stayed. It could have turned out very different.” He agreed. As guilty as he felt for leaving, deep down he had known it was the right thing to do and perhaps this was why. If he had stayed - or kept pushing- like they had both said, they might not be here now as they were, confessing their love in a bubble bath after making love together.

The memory of their lovemaking and the way she had positioned herself to sit over him however was making him very distracted and ‘talking’ was no longer on the forefront of his mind. His hand dropped from the side of her face to grip her hip lightly and the other soon followed suit. He had to swallow back a groan and concentrate really hard on what the blonde said next, her hands were proving to be even more distracting than his own wayward thoughts. Lillian, her middle name was Lillian, and she didn’t like the name. ’Audrina Lillian DuPage’. “Well…” He said, stifling back a sound that would clearly indicate his thoughts were drifting elsewhere. “I like it.” Eli smiled as she leant her forehead against his own and his gaze caught hers, his expression turning serious for a just a moment because it was all he could manage with her hand still working at his side. “I promise it will be our little secret, as long as you promise not to tease me over mine...My parents thought it fitting to name me after my great, great Grandfather - Theodore.” He almost winch at speaking the name outloud.

“Only my parents, the Clave and Travis know what it is - and now you. So I won’t tell if you won’t.” Eli explained pulling away so he could see the expression on her face at the admittance of his middle name which he’d always found embarrassing. There of course was humour in her eyes as she was saying his full name in her own head to see what it sounded like as he had done with hers but it didn’t bother him as it probably would if it was someone else. He was prepared to share everything with Audrina, even the embarrassing things. “Go ahead, laugh if you need to.” He offered, leaning his head back against the tub as he waited for her laughter to fill the air, a grin forming on his lips to show it was alright to laugh at his ridiculous middle name.

Her humour only distracted him so long however from the liquid heat that had slowly begun to regather in his loins over the time they continued to spend in the bath and once her laughter was done he buried his face in the side of her neck, drawing her closer to him in the process, and his teeth nipped her pulse. “I want to make love to you again,” He moaned, and he knew he was only torturing himself by confessing it because he wasn’t certain if she would be ready for round two yet.

[Yunalesca]

She couldn’t help herself as her eyes closed whilst his hand brushed at her hair, then followed the curve of her jaw. She almost shuddered at the feel of his hands trailed down her sides to finally rest at her hips. His hands pressed in on her a little possessively while she began to feel his skin grow a little warmer where she positioned herself. She took a breath to steady herself as her mind too began to wander back to the passion they had shared in each other not long ago. It took a great deal of concentration on her behalf to focus her attention on his voice and not where his hands were pressing at the moment. It made her wonder if it was going to always be this way, if his touch was going to continually send her pulse racing and her thoughts fleeting. She couldn’t say she would necessarily complain, but it would be very distracting. The only thing she could grasp in that moment was the hope this wasn’t just affecting her, though given the heat she felt pooling against her skin where they touched, she was confident enough to believe it was mutual.

When he spoke finally she had gained enough control over herself to focus on him. Elijah Theodore Ashdown she heard her own voice say in her mind, rolling the sound of it before a smile spread over her face in the humor he was predicting. She hadn’t intended to laugh considering how he had reacted to her own middle name, but the moment she let herself think about the name she couldn’t hold back the quiet giggle forming in her belly and moving out through her mouth. “I’m sorry, I might have to start calling you ‘Teddy’.” She advised before her hands slipped from their former position to press on his pectorals to keep herself upright as she dropped her head slightly in hopes it would bring her laughter to a stop. She wouldn’t go out of the way to embarrass him, but her nature wouldn’t allow her to not use ‘Teddy’ on him at some point. Luckily for him she would be using it out of affection now whereas in the past it may have been in spite while attempting to push him away.

Slowly her laughter subsided and she took a deep breath before he was pulling her close and burying his face in her neck; the moment his teeth gently pulled at the skin over her pulse she lost the breath she had taken, it escaping her in a quiet gasp. All humor left her body as she became hyper aware of him again, white hot fire racing through her veins before pooling in her abdomen. It nearly became hard to breathe as the memories of their lovemaking flashed in her mind.

When he spoke she couldn’t hide the quake that rippled through her, his voice full of desire and hitting every chord in her. The sore ache she had felt before was gone and was now replaced with a familiar tightness of want. He could have pressed on with his ministrations and she wouldn’t have fought him; he was already a weakness for her. Despite his wants for her again he was being carefully polite, silently asking for her permission and if she was alright to proceed again. The effort he put into it made her love him all the more, something she hadn’t quite believed to be possible. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply while her fingers curled against his chest as though it would offer clarity. A part of her was a little afraid of what would happen inside her if she went through with this again so soon after the first time, but she knew he was ever so careful with her, that he wouldn’t harm her purposefully. She could trust him.

“Then what are you waiting for?” She managed to whisper against his ear before her teeth gently pulled against his lobe, her pride causing her to show more confidence than what she truly had. Even knowing he would be careful, even after feeling how he could please her she was still afraid on the inside. This was still so new to her and she wanted to be a master right away, didn’t want to have to need him to guide her. Everything she did was an experiment and all her confidence was feigned. Yet she seemed to be doing something right based on the response she was gaining from Eli. She sighed slightly as she pressed herself closer to him, hands moving up to his shoulders so their chests would make contact. As she did this her mouth moved from his ear to kiss and nip at his neck. The further she relaxed into him the more she felt his eagerness, it making her shudder and rest her forehead at the nape of his neck. She prayed it would always be this exciting, be this exotic as they led up to that final moment together.

“Eli,” her voice whispered in a pleading manner, giving him permission all over again as she was already getting overwhelmed with feelings just thinking about having him once more. With him she couldn’t formulate why she had ever been so afraid of this. Though it felt that all those years of holding onto her pain, detaching herself from contact were paying off with every time he touched her. It was as if she had been saved for this, she had held out for him only.

[Serendipity]

Eli made love to Audrina again, the warm bubble bath lapping over their bodies and he was just as careful the second time around as he had been with her the first knowing she would still need him to be. It was still an all new experience for her, and also for himself and something he wanted to savour, and keep in his memories forever. He knew there would be times when they wouldn't agree on everything, they would argue but it was all part of being with someone and sharing your life with them. He was prepared for it, no more running away, and he hoped Audrina was too. They had the real deal, the lasting kind of love, the stuff you read about in those romance Novels mundanes liked so much Eli was sure of it. But if there was ever any doubt atleast they would have these special moments to reflect upon to remind them of it. This was no fictional Mundane love story, this was theirs and theirs alone. So he wasn't sure why he couldn't sleep that night even knowing all of that, and that Audrina was his and loved him. While she slept soundly in his arms, satiated and content, no signs of any troubling dreams. He had sat outside her room for many nights, awake, unable to sleep incase she uncounted a nightmare she couldn't shake and needed him. But she had never called out for him, and now he guessed he couldn't sleep for those same reasons although he was already there beside her. Or perhaps it was for entirely different reasons that he was unable to sleep...

There was just a tiny portion of his thoughts that kept telling him this was all too good to be true or that he was simply dreaming all of this and if he went to sleep in his dream he would wake up in his own bed alone. He knew it was ridiculous though, but he couldn't shake it and couldn't sleep. It wasn't until dawn finally broke and a well rested Audrina awoke in his arms with a welcoming smile that he chased those damning thoughts away and returned her smile followed by a gentle kiss. "Good morning, Sweetheart," he murmured softly against her lips and it was a good morning, especially when she kissed him back with a passion he was still discovering from her and he could assume she was still discovering it within herself as well. For all his lack of sleep he tried not to let it show and found when she smoothed her hand up his chest then into his hair he was no longer tired. Eli led the kiss into something he could feel they both wanted, and there was no longer a need for him to question if she was ready or wanted it as much as he did, he could simply feel it and knew it for what it was. They didn't need to 'ask' anymore, it was just a feeling and a sense that came naturally now.

--- --- ---

"Food. We have no food." Eli commented, drumming his fingers against the fridge door he had propped open in hopes of finding something for breakfast for the both of them. Turning his head back towards the blonde whom had made herself comfortable on the end of the kitchen counter, thoughtfully watching him. He couldn't help the smile that pulled at the edges of his mouth when he saw her; dressed only in one of his button up shirts, legs crossed at the knees, leaning back on her palms, comfortable in his presence - in his home. The few days they'd had so far, just the two of them, had been the best days of his life so far. Eli was so adoringly in love with this woman he felt the need to tell her so several times a day. So far, Audrina didn't mind but he knew he would have to tone it down a little when they were in public - he was yet to discover how she felt about displays of affection amongst others. "And you...although it pains me to say it - because you look really good in my shirts- need more clothes." The dark haired Shadowhunter pointed out as he realised he hadn't seen the blonde in any other clothes but his... but then again he hadn't bothered to dress in anything more than his own cotton pajama pants; the house kept warm by the fire he'd kept going - that, and along with Audrina's body heat they were by no means cold.

"We are going to have to go to the market and Alicante's finest clothing store." The male decided as he closed the fridge door, there was definitely nothing in there to salvage. "But first we need to eat something. There's a quaint little cafe' just down the road. Time to get back into the world?" He posed this last part as a question to make sure Audrina was ready for such things. It wasn't like he was well known in Alicante, although his parents had been, and he hadn't any friends here, there would be no one to stop them on the street for a chat. But still if Audrina was not comfortable with the concept of heading back out amongst other beings then he would respect that and they could work in those issues at a later date.

Eli, after closing the fridge, turned to the blonde perched on his kitchen counter and positioned himself in front of her. "What do you say? We could make it sort of like our first official date?" He arched a brow slightly, lifting a hand to brush a few blonde strand back behind Audrina's ear as he waited for her response.

[Yunalesca]

She had come to Alicante with few expectations, though in her wildest dreams she never could have imagined what would happen over the course of merely a week. She had come to Eli's door looking just as she felt, cold and broken. The Ashdown house was her last possible sanctuary and outlet for healing without much hope of it actually happening. Yet somehow Eli had taken her in his arms and smoothed over her bleeding wounds. His patience had drawn out a long held affection for him that eventually led to something she had once been so afraid of. She gave him the last piece she could give and found love after years of solitude. Each time he took care in having her she worked to show him what he meant to her, tiring herself so thoroughly that she didn't even dream, though while wrapped in his arms she wouldn't have to fear dreaming ever again.

*

Even a few days after confessing her feelings for him she still found herself staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror each morning. She knew she wasn’t physically different in any drastic way, but she felt like she appeared different from the way she saw herself in New York. Her skin looked like it held a warmer hue, her eyes far more alive, her lips more full; she felt like she glowed with a beauty she had never seen in herself. She had never been vain, but it seemed having someone to love had changed her. It always seemed with impeccable timing that Eli would swoop in behind her the moment she reflected on their most recent exploits in the bedroom, his arms slipping around her sides and curling about her abdomen to pull her into him. Each time she would be lost to him all over again. WIth her will completely broken with each caress he seemed to be completely enthralled with this new power he had over her, though he never abused it and was still a little reserved with her.

Food and clothing had been two things that had been pecking at the back of her mind those first days she had stayed with Eli, but she had hardly given it a second thought since they had started sleeping together. Her mind was constantly contemplative over how he made her feel and all the new emotions he drew out of the depths of her core; far too busy to be bothered with menial things like cooking or washing clothes. She had spent most of her days in Eli’s shirts and occasionally shorts when they cuddled together before the fire. Being surrounded by his scent was soothing and it seemed that seeing her in his clothes was satisfactory as he expressed now while she sat on the counter musing over the way the morning sun hit his skin. Gone were the days when she would forcefully turn her gaze away from him, now she spent most of her time looking at him with approval.

As he approached her and brushed hair from her face, she found herself dipping her head slightly into his hand, enjoying the feel of his hand against her skin. She felt she could stay in this house forever so long as he was beside her, but her time for hiding was over. He had dispatched her demons and there was nobody for her to fear out in the world. She lifted her head from his palms and draped her arms over his shoulders, one hand playing with the longer strands of his hair at his neck. “I would like that. I’ve shut myself away from the world for too long,” she said, pausing as she thought back on how miserable she had felt in New York while she stared out her window and watched the seasons begin to change, life moving on without her.

Her eyes closed momentarily and she pressed her forehead against his while trying to disperse the sudden sadness that threatened to overwhelm her. Everything you ever needed is here, there’s nothing to fear anymore a voice reminded her and she smiled softly before pulling her head back and kissing him on the cheek. “I love you,” she said tenderly, an expression she was still trying to get used to. Eli said it far more than she did, but as always he was patient and understanding with her. She hadn’t been able to say it for so long she still found herself struggling to get it out. She was no longer afraid of love, not with how it consumed her now, but expression wasn’t her strong point as she had lived solitarily for so long.

Finally she pulled herself into him, her legs sliding down the side of him until her feet hit the floor. With close contact brought that familiar heat from her core up into her cheeks as she held a lowered gaze momentarily in an attempt to maintain control. The shirt she donned had slid up to expose her belly, their skin bare against eachother as she stood there taking careful breaths. In experiencing sex with him she found there was nothing else she enjoyed more, it an act that had consumed their days together, but she was apprehensive in giving him the signals now. His gentleness had ensured she was never damaged beyond that first time, but they would need a break eventually. She had yet to give her body the proper time to heal from the changes inside of her, eventually he would hurt her if they continued sating this physical hunger for each other without a pause.

She let herself look up into his eyes and she smiled warmly, that smile reserved only for him. “I should go put on some more clothes; I feel society would frown upon this despite how much you love it.” She stated smoothly, managing to slip away from him before he could stop her. She shot him smirk as she exited the kitchen and pranced up the stairs to don the clothes she had come to him in, cleaned at some point without her notice. With their nights filled with physical confessionals of their love she slept in much later than normal, likely the time Eli had cleaned her clothes without her notice.

The clothes were incredibly plain, but she was reminded of her scars when she took off his dress shirt and thought about going out into the city. Scars were normal for Shadowhunters, celebrated marks of the skin that showed their prowess, but most scars were that of being Marked. She had forgotten the bites over the days as Eli made her feel more beautiful than anyone ever had, but others would surely shoot a second glance at her if she left the scars open for the world to see. It would invite questions she didn’t want to answer. She wanted to see Alicante, but were she approached on the street she wasn’t so sure she could handle it. With Eli she was as confident as ever, but in public she might not be. It will be fine she whispered to herself and slipped into her clothes.

[Serendipity]

Eli stifled a groan as he watched Audrina go off up the stairs, his shirt playing peek-a-boo high up around her thighs as she took each step. She was a temptation that was for sure but he shook his head, diminishing any notion of following her up those stairs to satiate his need for her again. There was time for that later, it was time for a break and it wasn’t like she was going anywhere anytime soon. He waited a beat or two before he followed the same path Audrina had taken up the stairs to the second floor, however instead of heading for the room he had first given her when she had arrived, he moved to his own room letting the blonde have the time she needed to dress alone.

After freshening up in the attached bathroom Eli dressed in appropriate attire for the current winters day. Dark jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt the color of charcoal, his favorite jacket and boots; and for added warmth he had thrown a darker grey scarf loosely around his neck. He found Audrina waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs and had to chuckle at the knowledge that she had dressed quicker than he had -- wasn’t it that females were supposed to take forever to get dressed? Not that it mattered. “Ready?” He said, greeting her with a warm smile as he came to stand beside her at the bottom of the stairs. Eli took her hand in his as she nodded quietly and led her towards the door. It was time to go out into the world, to acknowledge that it existed and it wasn’t just the two of them in existence. Disappointing yes but a necessary evil he supposed.

The sun peeked out from behind the clouds, bathing those who were outside in its warmth. It took the edge off the winter chill for the time being but it was still far colder outside than in. Once they were outside and the door was closed and locked with a quick flick of his steele, Eli gently pulled Audrina into his side to keep them both warm as they headed for the market place on foot. Eli’s residence was located just outside the city walls but it was still a fair walk until they reached the central hub of Alicante. His parents hadn’t wished to live directly in the city but they had needed to be close enough to the Gard when they were called upon; it suited Eli just fine too.

The cafe’ he had mentioned to Audrina was small and hidden away from everything else, it was cosy and quiet and very few Shadowhunters frequented there which was why Eli had chosen for them to have breakfast there. It wasn’t popular but that didn’t mean the food and service wasn’t good, the handful of times Eli had eaten here both had been more than acceptable. It was a seat-yourself-laid-back type of cafe’ so Eli took advantage and found them a table at the back for added privacy. Though it meant he had to untuck the blonde from his side so she could take her seat and he his, Eli didn’t worry about ‘loosing the connection’ as he would have in the past. It was well established now that the spark they had felt between them, the connection he had so desperately fought to hold onto back in New York, was there and it was strong and it wasn’t about to go anywhere.

The dark haired Shadowhunter took her hand from across the small table between them and squeezed it reassuringly knowing that this was another big step for Audrina. He let go after a few seconds so they could both look over the menu and make their order once the waitress appeared. “I’m afraid they only have standard coffee here,” Eli informed her as they scanned the menu. “So I’ll have to stick with my boring ‘strong and black’ preference,” He added with a teasing glint in his eye, recalling the time they had gone to another coffee shop and she had somehow managed to convince him to try something different and he’d added peppermint to his usually ordinary black elixir.

[Yunalesca]

Once she let herself think past the scars that marked her once pristine skin, she was dressed and ready much quicker than one would have expected. She had found in her time alone while in New York that sitting to think about her past and the wrongs that had been done to her would be her ultimate downfall. She’d had nothing to do but dwell on the negative, to contemplate why she was still alive, but here she had better opportunities to keep her mind busy with. She could chase every demon from her mind with memories of Eli’s skin brushing over hers, of his whisper of her name, of this newfound love she couldn’t get enough of. If I think about it much longer we won’t be leaving the house she thought with a small smirk before exiting the guest room and starting down the stairs. Her mind had become far more mischievous since getting intimate with Eli, their debauchery unlocking a hidden part of herself. She had built so many walls within and without herself that she had successfully hidden her most human desires from even her own mind. Eli had held the key to so much of her; It was as though he had truly been meant for her. She had fought against it for incredibly long when she should have taken him in from the start.

I was a fool she thought as she began slipping into her coat, careful to adjust the collar to cover the puncture scars at her neck. She had been able to mostly forget the traumatic experience in New York, but she was ever conscious of the marks that others would question. She didn’t know how she would act in public, in a foreign place, and so she wasn’t about to invite uncomfortable conversation. Just as her fingers began to run over the small bumps at her neck, Eli started down the stairs and drew her attention. Her hand dropped away from the scar quickly as she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He always looked like he belonged in the New York model scene and this morning was no different. She was familiar with the curve of his jaw, with how he moved, and still she couldn’t bring her eyes away. Was this what he mother had once tried telling her? It will be intense, you can’t mistake it for anything else she had said while rocking her girls to sleep after they asked for her to recite how she had met their father.

She had to swallow a small lump as he effortlessly slid in beside her and took her hand, their fingers meshing together and her heart instantly speeding up. She could only nod as he asked if she was ready, her voice escaping her as she was once again reminded the world was right beside her. She had to smile at the silly concept, but it was exactly how she felt. She’d had nothing when she had come to his door those days ago and now she was stepping out again with something she couldn’t imagine being without.

Their walk was quiet which happened to suit her as her eyes flicked around to take in what she hadn’t noticed on her way to his home. She had been so focused on locating the home she hadn’t taken in any of the sights, though the dreary weather would hardly have allowed much sightseeing. She was doing well in suppressing the nerves that threatened to bundle in her gut, until they reached the city limits of Alicante and she subconsciously pressed herself in a little closer to Eli; Whether he noticed or not she didn’t know. She was just as brave as any Shadowhunter, but this place was foreign and she didn’t exactly have a great track record in social situations.

She let him guide her through the edges of the city before they were seating themselves in a more private section of the quaint café, much to her relief. She was reluctant to separate from him for even a moment, but the warmth of the café and reassurance he wasn’t going anywhere made her relax slightly. His returned connection when they were seated helped drop her uneasiness further, enough that she allowed herself to relax into the chair slightly before opening the menu with her other hand. When Eli pulled his hand from hers, her fingers curled in on her hand like it had been scorned. She could handle being out of contact with him, she just hadn’t been in days. The independent and stand-offish Audrina was buried somewhere beneath this person who depended on someone for confidence.

With her brief departure from him she poured herself into focusing on what to eat, to trust someone else to prepare for her. It wasn’t something new to her, she had ordered take out before, but it had been some time since she had entrusted the task to anyone but her or someone under her tutelage. Her every need had been sated over the time she had been with Eli, but she was surprised to find herself actually hungry as she looked over the menu. The fare was very English, but it wasn't surprising to her; she had expected as much seeing how much of Shadowhunter lore revolved around the English way of thinking. It had been many years since she had actually been home to France so she could hardly take offense at the lack of familiar cuisine.

Her eyes flicked up and sparkled with mirth at his recollection of their coffee fiasco. She found it hard to understand how one could be content with simplicity when there were so many options at their fingertips. "I suppose I'll let you have that boring choice. Leaves all the more items for me." She teased back slightly before the waitress arrived and interrupted the moment. Is this right? Is this how this is supposed to be? she began to worry as Eli ordered. She had never paid much attention to couples in public and suddenly became very aware of how naive she was in this new world.

Not feeling confident in her actions was unfamiliar to her, but with this new territory she found she was stumbling about blindly. She was progressively learning technique behind closed doors, but she didn’t know how she felt about being so heavily dependent on Eli elsewhere in terms of how this was supposed to be. She was following instinct and recalling how her parents had moved around each other, but she still didn’t know if she was doing it correctly. “And for you?” The waitress asked, her face gentle looking, but her eyes fierce. Her Marks were showing at the collar of her uniform and Audrina was reminded again that she was in Alicante, a place where Marks were worn with pride, that were flaunted.

“Poached egg on rye, please….and a lemon ginseng tea. Thank you.” She said before handing the menu to her, veering from her normal selection of coffee. Her stomach was already beginning to knot with being in public, she didn’t need to be excessively wired on top of that. Deep breaths she tried soothing herself, gaze dropping as she busied her hands with flattening the cloth napkin over her legs. She was nervous and she had no explanation for it. It was only now that she began to wonder if maybe something more had been broken inside her when she had taken to being solitary after Eli left. He had cocooned her in this consuming love, but it was starting to become apparent that he wasn’t able to guard her from herself. To let him in she had dropped her walls, but had unleashed something in the process, something that had grown inside her and she had been trying to protect herself from.

“Did you say something?” she asked as her eyes flicked back to him and noted his expression. She had fallen into a reverie which would seem was dangerous. The further down the path of her history the more wounds she may reopen. Hiding and running had been something she had been accustomed to, but she couldn’t do that any longer. Eli knew her far too well at this point for her to hide things from him. “Sorry, I’m just feeling a little…off today. I think I got a little too used to only being in your company,” she apologized before having to bite her lip slightly as a smirk threatened to come through. She was thinking about his ‘company’ and therefor blushing slightly. They’d gotten to know each other well and yet she was still blushing thinking about what they had been doing.

“So, what kind of markets are here? Is it all stands on the street or something like New York?” She questioned in an attempt to move the conversation from her demeanor to what they would be doing this day. She knew they were going to get food to sustain them for a few days more at least, but her intuition was telling her he intended for more than just that. She had never been to the city before and expected he would want to take her around. She would have been just as happy with going back home to snuggle with him before the fire once more, but she supposed as long as he was with her she could handle some social situations.

[Serendipity]

It was difficult to say if taking Audrina along with him to shop for groceries was a good idea or not, especially now seeing the internal struggle she was having. Although things were certainly better between them personally (better than he could have ever hoped for considering how they had left things between them in New York) there were still many obstacles Audrina had to overcome within herself, she was still healing after the traumatic and devastating events in her past and recent present. He knew it was going to take time and he would be there for her, and together they could heal and get through it. However he worried now, because he could see some of the little confidence she had built whilst it was just the two of them slowly seeping away. He could see her start to question herself, sense the nervousness she was feeling and questioned himself on whether or not it was too soon for them to be out in public together - or for her to be out in public at all. There wasn't a lot she could hide from him now that she had let him in, nor he from her.

She could have easily declined the offer to come with him into the city and he wouldn't have pressed the matter, though a part of her must have wanted to come with him. Although now that he thought about it she might have only come with him just to...well, be with him. He almost smiled at that thought because all he wanted was to be with her too. It wasn't like he expected her to be with him all the time, she was her own person, but it was nice to know that she wanted to just be with him even if it was just doing mundane things like shopping for groceries.

But the question remained whether it was to soon for her to be so out of her comfort zone. The walls she had so heavily guarded herself with had been stripped away and he guessed that she might be feeling a little bare without them - a little too exposed. Sure he had wanted her to bring them down, and now she had, he just hadn't wanted her to feel so vulnerable in doing so or for them to be torn down the way they had, and he couldn't imagine what that would have been like for her.

Eli's eyes scanned over the menu he held open in front of him, every now and then he would look up at the blonde, still uncertain about bringing her out with him today. He mentally made his choice and closed the booklet, grinning as Audrina announced that she would let him stick with his boring choice of coffee. "I like to think of it as more of a reliable choice." He replied as the waitress interrupted to take their orders and he ordered his breakfast. "I'll have the usual, but add extra bacon and another slice of toast today, Zoe, thank you." Eli said, offering the waitress a familiar, yet still only polite, smile. He had frequented this cafe a lot in the first few weeks of returning to Alicante before he had decided to finally stock the fridge and cupboards with food, and had made a familiar acquaintance with Zoe, the waitress. Only familiar enough though for an eventual exchange of names, and for Eli to have a 'usual'.

Zoe wrote down his order with a little chuckle and shake of her head in a 'I-should-have-guessed' kind of way before turning her attention to Audrina, her smile friendly but her gaze a little curious although she was too polite to pry. Her curiousness came from never seeing him with another Shadowhunter and the lack of marks on Audrina's skin. "And for you?" She prompted gently, pen ready to scribble a second order. The waitress smiled at Audrina's choice before dismissing herself to take their orders to the cook. As the waitress left Eli sat back, folding his arms casually over his chest, gaze focussed on the woman seated across from him. She had grown quiet, falling into her own thoughts but instead of filling the silence with conversation he simply watched her, trying to figure out in his own mind what he could say to soothe her worries.

When she finally looked up at him and asked if he had spoken, Eli shook his head and unfolded his arms reaching across the table, palm up, offering a small comfort if she chose to take it. "We could eat and go back home...I could run another bath for you? And join you in it?" He suggested as she took his hand, and he saw the blush rising on her cheeks as she was clearly recalling the time they'd spent together these last few days. It was also meant to take her mind off of her own nervousness, but if she chose to take him up on the suggestion he wouldn't complain. His thumb moved gently, back and forth over her knuckles, her skin soft under his touch. He liked the way her skin grew warm as she must have been remembering the last bath they'd had together.

"The markets..." He began, shifting the subject to something more appropriate for public conversation. "I've only been once, a few weeks after I came back, but the produce is displayed in stands in the marketplace, and of course everything has been grown here. There's boutiques throughout, and a few more popular cafes along the main strip." Eli explained, giving her some idea of what to expect for their shopping trip. "It might be busy for the Shadowhunter population in Alicante but not as crowded as New York's." He added so she might also have an idea of what to expect people wise too.

From the corner of his eye he saw Zoe approaching with their drinks, and for the purpose of making room for her to set them down he had to let go of Audrina's hand but not before he gave it a gentle squeeze. "Foods not far away," She said with a polite smile, placing the blondes tea in front of her first and then Eli's coffee next before she left, not hovering unnecessarily so they could have their privacy again. The dark haired Shadowhunter picked up his cup after waiting a beat for Zoe to leave and took a small sip before setting it down again to cool some more. "I think, if you wanted to, you should move your belongings into my room?" Eli offered, he didn't see why not, it would be more convenient for her considering she had spent most of her time there these last few days and he wanted her to move into his room, but of course if she wanted her own space still he would understand. "Our room, if you wanted it to be." He corrected.

[Yunalesca]

Ever since she had lowered her walls for Eli it seemed as though he had taken every opportunity to figure her out, to know what every expression from her meant; and now was another time that he read her perfectly as he took her hand which only made her redden further. Feeling his touch after thinking of those intimate moments with him seemed to make her pulse spike momentarily. Her eyes narrowed slightly, playfully, at him as she realized he may have done this purposefully. A small glimmer of her former self shone through before he was withdrawing again to take hold of his coffee. She missed the warmth from his hand almost instantly, however she took hold of her teacup to replace the sensation. The liquid was piping and almost burned her hands, but she didn’t let go, rejoicing in the borderline pain. It gave her something to focus on outside of her uncomfortableness with being in the public eye.

In the pressing silence while Eli sipped at his coffee, Audrina brought the cup to her lips and blew the wispy clouds of steam from the rim, watching them fade before tipping the cup slightly to sip the cooling liquid. It was as she was sipping that Eli suggested she move her things to his room; their room should she so choose to fully embrace this growing relationship. Relationship her mind echoed and she almost choked on the tea still lingering in her mouth as she worked to fully process what he was saying. It should be of no surprise and she should feel no apprehension; she had given more of herself to him than she had to any other. Perhaps it was the abruptness, even though he had delivered the proposition gently, but she had to pause. SHe was motionless at first, the cup still pressed to her lips as she refused to meet his gaze at the moment. SHe was already sleeping in the same bed as him, had already given herself to him, had come all the way from New York to be with him, why was moving her things to his room striking a chord? Stop being afraid that voice soothed and she exhaled slowly while setting her cup on the saucer.

Finally her eyes came up to his, reading an underlying expression of concern, before she let a smile slowly pull at the corners of her mouth. “I’d like that...I’d like to have a home again,” she said genuinely as her hand reached for his and her fingers closed about his. It seemed so simple a thing, to move her bag of things to his room, but in reality it was one of the largest steps she would have taken in a long time. She had become a risk taker, a death seeker, after her childhood crumbled, but seeking a new home or a person to trust had never been an option. She had kept her distance from companionship as she knew she would die when she finally released her mother from vampiric bonds; she didn’t want anyone or anything to stop her. The New York Institute had never really been a home to her even considering how long she had been staying there. Eli’s home was now going to be shared with her and it was going to take time for her to fully appreciate it. She wasn't sure how she would feel when she walked in that door again, knowing that it was her home.

*

When breakfast concluded and they were walking towards the marketplace, Audrina began to feel a little different. SHe had been going through changes ever since coming to Alicante, but this was different from those. She couldn’t tear her mind off what Eli had said, our room if you wanted it to be. His voice flowed over her and made her chest swell with warmth. Home, a word she had not embraced for so many years. Eli was giving her more than she had ever expected from anyone, and he was asking for nothing in return. She was beginning to understand what her mother had been speaking of all those years ago. So this is love she thought as her hand tightened a little further in Eli's. What did she have to fear with him beside her?

Her mind shifted from thoughts of Eli to what was going on around her, to admiring the architecture of the city she had drifted through on her way to the Ashdown estate. It had been a day of fog and rain when she last came through this city so she had noticed little of its beauty; not to mention she had been preoccupied with the multitude of reactions she may receive from Eli when she appeared at last. She could understand why Shadowhunters were so enamored with the city, but she wasn’t completely falling for it. Many creatures hid their malice behind pretty faces. No matter how beautiful this city was, she felt she could never fully trust it or those who were in charge of it. Too much had happened in her life to allow her to place that kind of trust in a clearly broken system. She didn’t agree with the Clave and had spent most of her life hiding from them for many years.

It was as they were passing a weapons shoppe that she had to fully pause, drawing Eli up short with her. It was early yet and so the store wasn’t open, but there were wares in the window that caught her attention immediately. Most women would stop dead before a shoestore, but she was SHadowhunter through and through regardless of how many years she had been fighting it. Her hand slipped from Eli’s and her fingers slid over the glass of the storefront wistfully, eyes glued to a set of blessed Sais. It was an unusual weapon for SHadowhunters, but a set had been made and she felt an ache in her chest for them. She missed her set, and that wanting triggered her memories of how she had lost them. She froze as she recalled her foolishness in waltzing into a vampire lair merely to kill, not caring about the soulless beings within, not even caring if they had information on her mother’s whereabouts. She could smell the ash of vanquished vampires, could almost feel the breath of the one who had come close to biting her.

Her hand drew back from the window as she pulled herself from her memory and looked to Eli, working to guard her feelings from him with little success. Like it or not she was still far too fragile to be able to throw up a wall like she once was able to. “I’m okay, just a memory. Shall we?” She suggested, turning from the weapons shop to close off the conversation before it could start. Her best defense from herself was to bury the past and try to forget it ever happened. There had been a promising moment in that memory, when Eli came to her aid, but there were far more negative moments wrapped up in the recollection. “What kind of food would you like to learn to cook? I expect you to impress me one day,” she stated with a coy smile, her arm looping through his as she stepped in closer. HIs warmth chased away the lingering fears and put a little more confidence into her step. He had already impressed her in so many ways she could hardly ask for more, but speaking about food would relax her. “I could show you how to make pasta by hand...if you’re into Italian.” She said a little snidely, jokingly. She preferred French cuisine as it was what she had grown up with, but she had subconsciously worked herself away from it as another way to protect herself. It was another thing that would bring her back around to her mother and what she had done; she hadn’t had an opportunity to think about it as Eli had been thoroughly distracting her and so it was buried deep in her mind.

[Serendipity]

Although he knew she wasn’t going anywhere, he had faith that Audrina wouldn’t run away on him again, asking her to move into his room was still a big step for her. He’d always thought sharing place with any woman would be a huge step for him one that he never thought or would want to happen until now. Now he couldn’t think of anything he wanted more than for her to move her belongings into his room and make it ‘their room’. If she said no then he would understand, she had been through so much a space of her own could still do her some good although he hoped she would say yes. He held his breath a little as he waited for Audrina’s response, she loved him and that was all that mattered so if she said no it was okay even if it did make sense for her to move her things into his room.

Relief came when she bought her gaze up to his and a smile came over her lips, he knew his answer then even before she said the words. Her answer was yes. A smile of his own met hers and Eli could let out the breath he’d been holding whilst he waited for her response. They would make it their home, and it felt good. “Our home. I like the sound of that.” He smiled and wished the table wasn’t between them so he could lean over and kiss her.

--- --- --- ---

It was amazing how easily things could fall into place if only you let your heart be open to it; Audrina was opening her heart more and more to him and he felt nothing was impossible from now on. He had her, and she loved him, she was moving in ‘officially’ and he couldn’t ask for more. Eli’s mind was on this when he felt Audrina stop suddenly, pulling him to a stop also so she could look at something in a shoppe window. He didn’t mind, they had the whole day to themselves to do whatever they liked and time was no issue. His gaze followed the line of Audrina’s and he soon found what she had stopped to look at. A pair of blessed sias’s. He remembered they were her weapon of choice, not a typical Shadowhunter weapon but one that had suited the blonde. Then he also remembered how she had lost her pair and the memory wasn’t pleasant, it had been the worst day of his life, thinking she had died.

He was quiet and let her gaze at them for as long as she wished, if the shoppe had been opened he might have suggested she go inside to look at them properly but unfortunately it wasn’t. When she turned back to him he saw the longing in her gaze and the despair of her own memories of how she’d lost her original set. She was quick to reassure him that she was okay before he had a chance to ask, and he smiled softly just happy that she wasn’t trying to throw any of her walls up again to block him out. The dark haired Shadowhunter nodded and took her hand back in his so they could continue on their way to the marketplace.

“Cook?” He said, feigning some shock at her question as they neared their destination. “I thought you would be doing all the cooking? You know, since you’re the woman and all.” He pointed out, but of course he wasn’t serious, his words were simply light banter. A grin had formed on his lips as he chanced a sideways glance at the blonde Shadowhunter by his side. A moment later when he simply received a look from her, although he could see the mirth behind her eyes, he nudged her lightly and then kissed her cheek quickly. His hand slipped from hers, but only to snake around her waist, pulling her against his side. “You may teach me all you know about cooking...but I don’t know about the pasta thing, doesn’t it taste the same out of a packet?” Eli jested.

[Yunalesca]

If she hadn’t grown so accustomed to Eli’s quite innocent banter she might have hit him for his comment about cooking, but long gone were the days where she believed him to be a sexist interested in only one thing. His gentleness with her, and incessant patience, had finally won her over. It took long enough, but the point was that she had come to her senses and accepted him while seeing him for who he really was. When they met he had been the guy every mother and father worried about, but over time he had allotted her the time to see he wasn’t just a ‘bad boy’. He had a heart and a genuine soul, he had suffered as all Shadowhunters had, he needed love; she suspected neither of them had realized until recently that it was each other that they really needed. It had taken another brush with death for either of them to really figure that out. She felt regret at the pain it must have caused him, but she had not given it much thought since she had let herself love him and tell it to him. It had been the scariest step she had ever taken as she didn’t know if he would accept her after so long, but it seemed it was all he had been waiting to hear from her. So despite what he said, she squeezed her hand a little tighter around his affectionately.

“There’s nothing that can compare to the taste of fresh ingredients. You wouldn’t prefer a packaged pie over one hot from the oven, would you?” She poked back to him before she was falling into his side embrace, eyes closing at the feel of his lips on her cheek. She would never get enough of this. Affection had frightened her so much as she was afraid to lose one more thing she loved, but she couldn’t imagine living without this now. “I wouldn’t play dumb now, I’ve seen your potential. If you want to keep me, you’ll learn,” she teased, though they both knew she wasn’t going to run away because he couldn’t cook. Or at least, she hoped he understood that. She hadn’t waited this long to let someone in to merely up and leave over something so trivial. She was bonded to him, only now realizing what her mother had tried to tell her those many years ago. It’s like nothing you have ever felt, you’ll know when you find that person. It’s too strong to ignore her voice echoed and she couldn’t help but smile slightly before they were stepping foot in a market that was every chefs dream.

-

It was with reluctance that she was removed from the market square by Eli; she could have spent so much of her day there, if not to smell the ingredients than buy them. They had enough supplies in their canvas totes to last for weeks under Audrina’s careful hand. They could have easily taken more back with them, but after some convincing, she realized she did need more clothes as she had come to Alicante with only what she could fit in her small messenger bag. She hadn’t known what to anticipate when she showed up on his doorstep, but she wasn’t about to pack her closet regardless. She was opportunistic and a survivalist, if she hadn’t stayed she would have found her way in life and come into more clothing if she needed it. But now that she was here, Eli seemed to feel the need to provide for her. She had never been a girl to need anyone to care for her, but it was hardly worth it to argue all day about an act of kindness, and love. He wanted to outfit her in whatever she wished and it would be easiest for her to oblige him. She wasn’t anything like Isabelle, however, so it wasn’t like she would need a grand ball gown or to visit a tailor for custom clothing. She was practical which would make it all the more easier.

Though her primary goal had been for simplicity, after the third outfit that was clearly geared toward casual or defensive gear, Eli stepped in. He knew from experience that she didn’t take well to someone trying to tell her what to do, but he seemed far braver now that he knew she was his as he was hers. She gave him a sideways look at a pink get up (Here)she likely would have never pictured herself in, but if not just to amuse him, she tried it on. The fit from the corset through to the shoes was phenomenal and oddly enough made her feel powerful, but what really sold her was the jacket he was holding out to her when she stepped from the changing room. She had never really dressed in luxe outside of her Shadowhunting gear, but now that she saw herself in the mirror she found a new appreciation for people like Isabelle who had impeccable style. She looked more like a woman rather than just a Shadowhunter. The faded scars of the marks that had been used to save her were prominent with so much skin showing, but here she didn’t have to hide them. These scars were appreciated in this world and she was still growing accustomed to it. When she saw the first hints of a worrying glance from Eli she brushed the thoughts away and offered him a smile in the reflection. “You might make a femme fatale out of me yet,” she commented before returning to the changing room and allowing him the pleasure of purchasing the clothes for her. She worried she would never have anywhere nice to wear them, but he reminded her there were still many dates in their future to which she could feel comfortable dressing nice.

The morning had stretched into the early afternoon and after a light lunch consisting of tea and small sandwiches left Audrina tired. In all her depression and attempts to cope with it she had forgone her usual training regimen which meant the day she had been spending with Eli shopping was leaving her exhausted and she was more than happy to hear him suggest they return home. Home the word flashed through her mind and made her feel warm. It was not a word she had used in so long it was quite foreign to think she had one to return to. This was not at all what she had expected when she had come to Alicante seeking Eli, but she couldn’t be happier with the turn of events. She deserved happiness, which was also something she was working to continue to convince herself of as well. Enough trauma had ripped through her life, she deserved these little comforts for once.

She was so caught up in the light conversation with Eli, still managing to walk with her arm through his despite the amount of bags they were carrying, that she nearly missed the person sitting on his doorstep clearly waiting for their return. Her Shadowhunter senses snapped her attention back and she halted as the small form rose from the stoop. Even at their distance she could tell it was a young girl, a girl who couldn’t be more than ten. Though she clearly had flowing auburn hair, Audrina felt her breath catch as she suddenly had a vision of Aurelie, her face masking over this girls. Her mind fooled her eyes into seeing golden hair, enough of a trick to make her stop breathing and her heart to pound heavily in her chest. Aurelie her mind cried before the vision was gone once more and the girls real features were seen to her again. She swallowed hard and relinquished her arm from Eli as he seemed to be preparing to approach this girl. Though he had made it clear this was -their- home now, she found she could not move from the spot she had become rooted to. The bags were slowly slipping from her fingers as she couldn’t shake a newfound fear. With every thought of Aurelie came the horrific memories of what she had done to her own sister. She didn’t know who this mystery girl on the stoop was, but her figure was so like Aurelie it was causing Audrina’s carefully rebuilt walls to crumble. The protective barrier she had put in her own mind, the safe cocoon Eli had help her form around her own memories was vanishing. She had learned how to protect herself from her own thoughts and now she was stumbling headfirst into the dark world anew. She wanted to reach for Eli as though he were the only thing that would steady her, but her hands stayed at her sides and she watched him approach this girl in silence.

[Serendipity]

Their time at the market place was enjoyable and Eli was reluctant for it to end, he was sure that Audrina could spend all day amongst the fresh foods and crafts, and he could have quite happily spent all day just following her around from one stall to the next. His initial concerns of taking her out amongst other Shadowhunters had quickly slipped away when he saw how her eyes lit up whenever she saw a fresh food product that she had ideas for to use in a recipe; and it filled him with great pleasure seeing her like this.

Their arms were quickly filling up with bags full of fresh produce, spices and clothes to fill Audrina’s side of the wardrobe they would share. Eli allowed Audrina to chose whatever she desired, however he couldn’t help picking out a few pieces of clothing he thought she would look great in; a few nicer outfits she might not have first thought she would wear. Unlike Isabelle, Audrina had always been a little more reserved with her choices of clothing (apart from the few times she had dressed to lure out vampires, which Eli had highly disapproved of) outside of wearing Shadowhunter gear.

Her comment about making a femme fatale out of her had him laughing as she returned to the dressing room to change back into her clothes. As long as he was the only man she intended to impress with those outfits he didn’t mind. He looked forward to the dates they would have when she would wear the more enticing outfits, it would certainly be hard to keep his hands off of her out in public that was for sure. They mightn’t get very far on their dates before he dragged her back home and peeled her out of them for his own gratification.

It was time to head back home once they had finalised their purchases and Eli made the suggestion as they left the little clothing boutique. There would be more opportunities for them to come back to the market place, the food they had wouldn’t last forever and they’d need to stock up again. He didn’t plan on leaving Alicante for a while yet. As far as Eli was concerned they deserved this time alone together, and would emerge from their little bubble of solidarity when they were good and ready too.

However Eli had no idea that their little bubble was about to burst sooner than he thought. He was caught up in listening to her speak, eyes trained on her face, and didn’t see the small figure sitting on his doorstep. Not until he felt Audrina tense and stop suddenly did his gaze follow hers and he saw the figure slowly rising to greet them. The house was still a fair distance, and it was hard to tell who it was, however he could tell that they were female and only young - a child. There was something about the child though that caused a slight feeling of recognition even though he knew he had never seen her before. He didn't know any young children. Perhaps she might just be lost and had the wrong house?

“Stay here.” He said quietly to Audrina, but she didn’t appear to hear him, before moving to approach the mystery girl. He wanted to stay with the blonde as she seemed to be a little distressed by their unwelcome guest, but he also needed to know what the girl was doing here and who she was.

As Eli closed the distance between himself and the child on his stoop, she began descending the steps slowly one at a time before stopping at the last one. There was a sense of trepidation growing in the pit of his stomach as he got closer; she seemed so familiar, her features reminded him of someone. His mother. He stopped suddenly halfway to where the girl stood. If he could imagine what his mother would have looked like when she was just a child this girl was it, she had the same light brown hair as his mother, the same fair complexion and bright blue eyes. It was like he was looking into a mirror, her eyes they were the same as his, the same as his mother's…

The girl seemed to be staring right back at him, both of them silent for a long time before the girl's eyes narrowed, breaking Eli out of his thoughts. His heart twisted painfully inside his chest as slowly his mind had been putting things into place. But it wasn’t possible...it couldn’t be…

“Are you Elijah Ashdown?” The girl asked, speaking first, and despite her youth her voice was harsh, angry and demanding like he had done her some kind of wrong despite never seeing her before. The older male could only nod, the bags he held slowly slipping from his grasp to land at his feet. He thought he saw relief flicker behind the blue of her eyes but it had come and gone too quickly for him to be sure. “Who-” He began to ask who she was but she interrupted him before he could.

“I’ve been looking for you. I need to find my mother and father.” She said. “My real mother and father.” She corrected a little painfully, and he felt his heart twist again. She was far too young to already know pain, at least she shouldn’t have known it yet but there was pain behind her words. Pain and guilt.

“I think you might be have the wrong family.” Eli informed her as gently as he could. She had to have had the wrong family, been given the wrong details...yet the evidence was staring right back at him, his brain just didn’t want to comprehend it all yet.

“I don’t!” She shouted shaking her head furiously and when she stopped he saw a shine of tears in her blue orbs. Eli swallowed the lump in his throat, still trying to make sense of all of this. Whoever she was she seemed adamant that her parents were his parents even if it was impossible. His mother had died before their sister could be born, she had killed herself and her unborn child. It just wasn’t possible!

“You do.” He said more firmly. He didn't need a reminder of how his mother had died and what she had taken with her when she had, and this girl was bringing up old wounds he had struggled with for so many years. “I’m sorry, but you have the wrong family. Elizabeth and Robert Ashdown only had sons, they never had a daughter.” He explained.

“Are they dead too?” The little girl asked, obviously catching the way he’d spoken in past tense. Her eyes welled with more tears and soon they spilt down her cheeks. Eli didn’t miss the suggestion that her own parents, or the two people she’d thought were her parents all this time must have died also. He wasn’t quite sure what to say, how to explain to her that there was no way his mother and father were hers. He did know however that they couldn’t stand outside and have this conversation, she was becoming upset, her small shoulders shaking slightly.

He glanced over his shoulder back towards where he had left Audrina standing, she looked like a frozen statue, and hadn’t moved an inch.

“We’ll talk inside. Stay here for a moment.” He instructed the girl though by the sounds of things he doubted she had anywhere to run off too. He hadn’t noticed it at first, but there was a bag sitting on the top step that must have been hers, everything she could carry with her.
He hurried back to Audrina, placing his hands gently on either side of her shoulders. “Hey. Let’s go inside and work all this out, it’s alright.” He said softly and kissed her forehead gently, trying to break her out of whatever dark memory she was traveling down.

[Yunalesca]

It was difficult to hear the exchange going on between the two from Audrina’s distance, but she wasn’t exactly trying hard to listen in on what was occurring; there was too much going on in her mind to process something else entirely. She couldn’t bring her eyes off the girl even though she wasn’t really seeing her as she stood there, she was seeing Aurelie no matter what she told herself. Aurelie was gone and this girl looked nothing like her, but something about her, whether it her size or age she didn’t know, had sent a shock through the Shadowhunter that could not be shaken. Her chest heaved as she worked to control herself and prevent her knees from buckling, from curling in on herself and screaming as each painful memory surfaced to stab her in the chest once more. She had been able to show Eli what had she had done, but it was entirely different from facing this once more on her own. She had been able to feel him there in her memories to remind her she was not experiencing it by herself. Here she was trapped in her own mind as she had been the month following the death of her mother and she wasn’t sure she could escape from it this time. She didn’t have the protective shell around her psyche as she once had, especially when it felt as though her sister were there staring her in the face now. She had thought she had come to accept what had happened once she bared herself to Eli, but that was clearly not the case; she had just had something to successfully distract her from the monstrous thoughts.

”We’ll be a family again,” whispered in her mind and the bags fully slipped from her fingers at last, thumping softly on the ground as she couldn’t shake that voice from her head. Her mind knew it wasn’t real, just a hallucination, but swimming her way free from the fallacy was not an easy task. Her sister’s haunting voice had taken hold of her, a sound whispering of death that made her skin break out in bumps and a shiver reverberate down her spine. It felt as though all the work that had been achieved in her time with Eli had been in vain; she hadn’t recovered, just buried her fears so deep and yet not far enough as it seemed the smallest thing could trigger them. ”Audrina” came again before hands were on her shoulders.

She physically jumped when Eli’s voice interrupted her thoughts, Audrina realizing she hadn’t even seen him approach, hadn’t even see him right in front of her. At first she could say nothing and it was painful to take her eyes off the girl at the steps. Aurelie’s complexion was finally wiped from the girl, Audrina able to see her as she was now, but that still didn’t make her heart slow in her chest. “Of course,” she was able to whisper at last, her voice sounding off even to herself. Something was clearly wrong with her, but it wasn’t something she wanted to talk with him about just then, he had enough to worry about as it was. He hadn’t told her what was going on, but she couldn’t even think to ask it of him. She was so wrapped up in the striking pain in her chest from the memories that her mind had little else to process.

She feigned normalcy, habit of years past returning as a wall was thrown up to make her face an unreadable mask. She didn’t think as to whether it would hurt Eli’s feelings if he saw it, she could only think of herself in that moment. She was hurting and her prior use of ironclad walls was all that had saved her before. She knew they would fall once she was alone, but if she could hold it for now she would be grateful. Somehow she made herself unfreeze from her stance and half kneel to take hold of the bag handles, taking them before Eli could. Holding onto something was the best thing she could do for herself now. It may be the only thing that would prevent her from shaking.

With steel reserve she stepped forward, trying to appear as Eli’s equal and not his follower, but still allowing him to take point in their venture toward the front door and closer to this girl she had yet to hear anything about. Whatever she had said she clearly got Eli’s attention, but she worked to not think about it. It was too much effort now to keep from letting her mind play tricks on her by masking her sister’s features over this girl’s. She was clearly distraught which hardly helped in Audrina’s plight; she had always been the one to comfort Aurelie when she had been upset. Despite this she could not bring herself to show any emotion to the girl as she was tasked with standing beside her while Eli unlocked the front door with his stele. She had to appear as the most cold of Shadowhunters in doing this, but she didn’t trust she would be able to contain herself if she even whispered a word to her. She had her doubts Eli could handle one of her episodes on top of whatever was going on with this girl. She wondered if it would always be this way, would she always be so mentally unstable after what she had done? This was one of the fallouts she had been trying to avoid in taking her own life. She was grateful for what Eli had done for her, how he’d shown her love at a time when she needed it most, but would she be able to cope with this ‘mental disease’?

Once inside it became harder for her, with the girl pressing in closer to her and Eli before her as he seemed to be contemplating what to do now. She could feel the walls of the home pressing down on her, suffocating her. She felt the innate urge to turn and run as she always had, but in a last show of bravery she held firm and slipped around Eli once she slipped her shoes off. “I’ll make some tea,” she half whispered as she fled to the kitchen. It always seemed to be the one place she felt comfortable and safe; ironic as she had lost her family in such a room. Chamomile wouldn’t solve her problems, but losing herself in its aroma may be enough of a distraction for a time.