i never asked to be saved [r], mortal instruments - Seren

[Yunalesca]

When Eli seemed to finally realize what she’d been talking about she felt her jaw slacken slightly in a sort of astonishment before it closed and she tried fighting against the smile that wanted to come over her features. She shook her head at him and bit the inside of her lip to get the smile off her face. “You are full of it.” She managed from behind the menu though she was laughing on the inside at him. She couldn’t tell if he honestly thought that way or not. She knew Jace was that way, but she found in the short time she had known Eli that he might love himself, but he didn’t put himself on quite the pedestal that the blonde did. He was teasing her and she felt herself warm a little on the inside. She hadn’t been around the block enough to know if this was him flirting or not, actually she hadn’t been around the block at all to know. She wasn’t quite sure what to think of it exactly.

She had been so in thought about what his intentions were that she overlooked his next comment, it not even fully registering in her mind. She had managed to bring her attention back by the time he pressed on with telling her how long he’d been in the area prior to their paths crossing for the first time. A month he had been around looking for his brother. She wondered how many times they could have ran into eachother but didn’t. Then again Brooklyn was no small place and she hadn’t always been residing at the Institute. Not to mention he probably wasn’t lurking about the clubs like her. The best information didn’t always come from there. It also wasn’t the most reliable information if it did. She perked up as he started to say something more, but the waitress returned and cut the moment off. Audrina watched her carefully as she set their drinks down and asked for their orders, starting with Eli.

His behavior that followed made her eyes narrow slightly. She suddenly wished she hadn’t told him about the waitress as he seemed to flaunt this now and sending her into a tizzy over it. She watched the girl drop her order pad and turned her eyes to Eli, shooting him a rather dirty look for what he’d done to the girl. This was what she told herself, however. In reality she was feeling a twinge of jealousy deep down somewhere. It was unusual. She’d never wanted attention like what he was giving the waitress. He’d given similar treatment to her before and she’d been irate, but now she felt rather left out and jealous over it. She hid these feelings too deep to fully acknowledge them, however, and so didn’t seem to understand why she was so frustrated with him.

She took a breath to calm her voice before turning her attention back to the waitress to give her order. “Half size omelet with Portobello and honeyed ham, please.” She said before the girl was nodding and taking the menus from them, nearly shaking the whole time. Once she’d left, she turned her attention back to Eli. “That was uncalled for. If this weren’t a Mundane restaurant I would have hauled off and smacked you for it.” She half growled at him, still not understanding why there was so much tension in her voice. She took a breath to steady herself again before leaning forward as he had done. “I would expect that behavior from Jace, I didn’t know it’d come from you, too.” She chastised and almost immediately felt bad based on the expression on his face. Something in what she said seemed to make him reflect and look somewhat ashamed of himself. She probably shouldn’t have said it like that. He was right in the fact he was a good looking person and most would use that to their advantage. She had just hoped he wasn’t that kind of person and she wasn’t sure why.

[Serendipity]

Perhaps he’d been too over the top with the waitress Eli realized suddenly as Audrina narrowed her eyes on him in a disapproving manner. The grin fell from his face, his eyes dropping to look down at his folded arms; she made him feel rather ashamed of what he’d done, although he’d seen no harm in it and sometimes it was just a side of him that he couldn’t help, but around Audrina it seemed to come out at the worst of times. They’d been making progress, the conversation had mostly been light but so far there’d been no arguments or looks like the one she was giving him now. He might have just blown the ease they’d seem to have between each other because of a moment of arrogance on his behalf. Audrina was the first person who pointed out that his arrogance was unnecessary and really didn’t do him any favors, and it definitely didn’t give him any points on his side when it came to winning her over.

The waitress finished taking Audrina’s order and shakily collected their menu’s before leaving and Eli was still looking at his folded arms, only looking up when Audrina spoke, her voice a half growl as she told him off for his behaviour. If he thought it wouldn’t make the situation any worse he probably would have laughed at the way she was scolding him, not because she was doing it, but because he hadn’t been scolded like this since his mother was alive. Instead he kept his expression apologetic, he was sorry for taking it too far with the waitress, a simple smile would have done. “Ignoring her completely would have been better, instead of getting her hopes up right?” He asked and raised a brow. He should have just kept it at ‘I’m sorry’, but even though he was apologetic for the way he’d acted he was also confused, why was flirting with the waitress such a bad thing? He couldn’t have predicted how she would react.

“Sorry. I know, I’m an arrogant jerk.” Eli sighed before Audrina could answer his slightly sarcastic question. “I’ll try and be on my best behavior for the remainder of our da-” Eli caught himself for finished that word, ‘date’. “of our breakfast,” He amended quickly. This wasn’t a date, he reminded himself. Neither of them had claimed it to be, and he knew Audrina certainly wouldn’t consider it one. They were just two people having breakfast together, they’d both had to get out of the Institute to clear their heads so they could come up with plans to get his brother free. He’d almost called it a date though, because a small part of him might have thought of it as one, as ridiculous as it was to think that it could be or that Audrina would stick around if she knew he might have considered it one. A stray thought entered his mind at that point; it was an insignificant thought really, but it had him wondering if she would let him pay for their meals or if she would insist on paying only her half?

Eli let the thought go as he remembered he had been about to ask her a question before the waitress had arrived to take their order and give them their drinks. “So...how long have you been at the Institute - or Brooklyn for that matter?” He asked, he had been going to ask her this before by now it seemed like a good time since they were in need of a change of subject. He pulled his mug of hot coffee a little closer and then reached for two sachets of sugar, breaking each one open and pouring them into his mug whilst he waited for her answer. Eli grabbed one of the teaspoons laid out on the table and stirred the sugar through the black liquid before lifting it to his lips to taste. Another thing he liked about this diner was that their coffee didn’t taste like black tar like some of the diners he’d been to in the past.

[Yunalesca]

When he did finally speak she found herself at a loss for words. What he said struck her like a slap in the face though she as fairly sure he hadn't meant it in the way it'd come out for her. Ignoring her completely would have been better, instead of getting her hopes up right?” he had said and all she could think of was how she'd pressed her lips so willingly to his in the infirmary yesterday. She didn't feel he'd even been thinking about their constant tension when he said it, but she couldn't help but feel it reflecting on it. Was she getting his hopes up with all this? Did he actually want her and began to feel that maybe she felt the same for him? She almost sat back against the booth as she reflected on the things that had happened between them. She stopped hearing him momentarily as he spoke, her eyes looking glazed as she fell into thought and looked at the table. Was she leading him on when she knew how badly this would end? She knew the answer was yes, and yet she found she didn't want to stop. She found no enjoyment out of knowing she was leading him on, but she did want to continue to have his company. He made her feel alive and sh couldn't deny that any longer. It was something she liked and couldn't stop herself from indulging in it. She was the worst kind of siren. She did this for herself without considering what it could do to him.

She did, however, grow alert once more as he stammered through a sentence, clearly wanting to say something other than what had come out. Her brows furrowed slightly as she looked back to him. What had he been about to say? She knew in the back of her mind it wasn't supposed to be 'day' like she assumed. He wouldn't stammer through the word 'day'. She took a breath as she felt her heart stop for a brief second. He couldn't have meant to say the d word. She opened her mouth to ask him, but quickly shut it again as he asked his own question instead, cutting her off. He clearly didn't want to discuss the matter. He had gone to some lengths to try covering it up in the first place. She lowered her gaze for a few seconds before bringing them back to his with a blank expression. This was all getting to be too much and changing the subject seemed to be the best of ideas at the moment. "Little over a year now. Though I haven't been at the Institute the whole time. I come and go. This is the longest period I've stayed. I've usually worn out my welcome by now." She offered before finally reaching for her tea and taking a sip. She made a slight face and took out the spoon from her rolled silverware to fully stir the honey into a consistent measure in the tea. She took a new sip and felt it taste much better. Satisfied, she set the cup down again and brought her attention back to Eli. She was sure he was more than curious about how she'd come across the Institute and its inhabitants. Deciding it didn't give away too much, she chose to share it with him.

"I'd been beat up pretty bad when Alec noticed me staggering down the alley by the Institute. I'm sure he'd thought to just keep walking at first, but when the others saw me he knew he couldn't just turn away like nothing happened. I'd been adamant on being fine, but they brought me in anyway. Hodge fed me one of those godforsaken potions that made me sleep for days, one reason I refuse to ever take one again. I'd ran my mouth pretty bad and he considered the sleeping potion to be a fair alternative. When I woke I was furious, but he offered me a room regardless of how many feathers I'd ruffled that night. I left without a second thought, but found myself coming back after a few days. Street living wasn't quite so appealing anymore and I was sure I'd tracked Her to Brooklyn. I've had a room ever since even though I come and go. I was gone through the whole Clary and Valentine mess so that was a bit of a surprise when I came back. That was two months ago now. I guess you should count yourself lucky I was still staying there when I came across you." She said with a small smirk before drinking her tea again. When she set the cup back down she couldn't help but feel the calm washing over her from the chammomile, she'd ordered it specifically for that so she wouldn't tear his head off in a Mundane diner.

"Did...you come straight from London then?" She asked softly, finger running around the edge of the teacup as she observed him. She was genuinely curious about him now, though she wouldn't be so bold to as about his past. She wasn't keen on divulging her own and couldn't expect anyting more from him. He made it sound as though his parents were gone and his brother was all that was left. This had to be the case if he was here alone. They may have more incommon than she realized, though she didn't like to admit it. Her imagination would run away with her again if she let it; entertaining ideas of them having something together. "Did you ever see the City of Glass?" She questioned rather suddenly, her swirling stopping as she did so. That was one thing she'd never seen. Her parents had always meant to take her and her sister but it never came about. She wasn't infatuated with it like everyone else. She supposed it was something beautiful, but it would never be home to her like it was to every other Shadowhunter she met. She couldn't call a place she'd never been 'home'. She also didn't entertain the thought of ever going there. Her path wasn't meant for that.

[Serendipity]

Eli was sure she had noticed as he'd stammered through his words, going to say one thing but changing his mind at the last second because mentioning the D word was not a good idea. She was looking at him quizzically now, and he was certain she was trying to figure out in her head what he had been about to say before he caught himself and amended his sentence. However he didn't give her enough time to ask what he had been going to say and changed the subject before she could. Audrina had obviously decided to stick with the change if subject since their previous one could have easily turned sour. But would it have, he wondered, maybe she too wanted this to be a date and describing it as one would have been a good thing. He guessed he would never know for sure now as she started answering his question.

He expected a brief answer, short and crisp for her because he knew how she didn't like discussing topics if they were about her, another one of her ways not to allow him in. So when she explained that she'd been in Brooklyn for a little over a year, but she hadn't been staying at the Institute for all of that time he figured that's all he would get out of her. He was fine with that small amount of information from her. He nodded and took another sip of his coffee as she stirred her tea thoughtfully, not pressing for more. When she looked back over at him however something told him, a look in her eye, that she was going to say more and he made sure that he gave her his full attention when she did.

Eli couldn't help the slight frown that came over his features as she explained she'd been beaten pretty badly when Alec had found her; he didn't like picturing her bruised and bloodied it gave him a slightly sick feeling in his stomach even though he hadn't known her then. But the frown turned to an even grin as she said she'd given them all a mouthful for bringing her into the Institute to try and help her and Hodge had given her a sleeping potion to keep her quiet and let her rest; he could just imagine, Audrina didn't like to accept help from anybody because she was so stubborn. Eli didn't interrupt her as she went on, although he might have looked a little confused at the mention of Clary and the Valetine incident. He didn't know what had gone on there, but had never thought to ask and now didn't seem like the appropriate time when Audrina was talking about herself, something she rarely did. "Lucky?" He laughed once she was done, "You dumped me on the floor and if I remember correctly it hurt quite a bit." But he wasn't angry at recalling that moment only amused.

He hadn't missed the fact that Audrina had said she'd tracked 'Her' to Brooklyn -which explained why she was here- and knew she was speaking of her mother. He chose not to point it out though, any talk of her mother was banned from conversation, at least he'd assumed that was the case; until Audrina openly talked about her without being pushed to it would remain out of conversation, Eli decided. He brought the mug of black coffee he had been cradling between his hands while Audrina spoke and took a sip as she asked if he'd come to Brooklyn straight from London. "No," He shook his head and set the mug down once more.

"I chased a few leads around some parts of Europe first before they led me to the States, specifically Brooklyn. I've been to California and Texas before on a few demon hunts when I was needed but I'd never been here before a couple of months ago." Eli explained, not going into too much boring detail but giving her a bit extra. He had traveled a bit in his past, a lot of the time it had been with his father when he was younger; he hadn't done much traveling in the last few years of his life though and had remained in London for most of that time. He smiled as she asked if he'd ever seen The Glass City, from the way she asked it was clear she hadn't.

"Yes," He nodded, a brief look of longing flickered in his gaze as he recalled the many visits he and his family had made to the City of Glass, it was all a long time ago now, he hadn't stepped foot back in Idris since he was seventeen which was seven years ago now. He'd wanted to go back, but he just couldn't bring himself to go back there and be reminded of how happy he and his family had once been. "We lived just outside of the city - in the country. My parents would take Travis and I there often, to get supplies or spend the night if my father had council meetings to attend." He added not sure if she would be satisfied with his simple 'yes' for an answer. "I haven't been back in almost seven years, not even to Idris."

"You've never been there?" He asked, although he'd known the answer from the way she'd asked him that question, full of curiosity.

[Yunalesca]

She bit her lip as a grin was coming over her face and her eyes closed while remembering that she had indeed dropped him roughly on the Institute floor. She opened her eyes again and took a sip from her tea, hiding behind it slightly as though to profess a sort of innocence. "I wasn't going to coddle you, and you were heavy. You can't blame a girl." She said with a quiet laugh. He wasn't the only one she'd been rude to that evening. She remembered her teasing of Alec and how he'd forcibly put his healing rune on her shoulder where she'd been struck by one of the vampires. She'd thought nothing of it then, but she felt somewhat guilty now. She was still irate with him for having tried to erase her memories, but she felt remorse for him. Her life was physically hard, but she couldn't imagine what his must be like with the rules of the Clave hovering over his head. It was torture, really, and his case was one of the many reasons she chose to ignore the Clave and stay under their radar. She didn't need their rules being enforced in her life. They weren't her and couldn't possibly understand why she did what she did. How could you force rules on someone you didn't even know?

She brought her attention back as she heard his voice again, half expecting him to simply answer her question with a 'no'. Until now she hadn't been very interested in divulging her own past and shouldn't expect it of him. He surprised her, however, by speaking lightly of his travels before ending here in Brooklyn. She wondered anew how he had managed to track Travis to New York. Likely something similar to her own methods, but she was still curious. She refrained from asking, however, as he continued on. Coming from London to America might have been a bit of a shock, she felt, though once more she thought it couldn't have been much worse than herself. She'd come from a small town in France to the United States, to one of the largest cities in America and had had fared alright. He was likely more prepared than she was in that venture. It might have been more of a shock to her if she hadn't been so focused on finding her mother and being driven purely by pain and anger. Two of the most dangerous things to be holding so close to your heart.

She watched him as he spoke of Idris, seeing that familiar look in his eyes that she saw in everyone else's. Most Shadowhunters were born there and lived their lives nearby if not inside its walls, most, but not her. He didn't take time to explain the City, but she could almost see it reflected in his eyes. There was a sort of pain and longing floating in those vibrant blue eyes of his and she could almost feel it filtering into her. But, she had never been so she couldn't possibly imagine how people were so attached to the Shadowhunter capital. "No. My parents thought it better to birth and raise us away from Idris. They always said one day soon we would go and we'd get our formal training, but it never happened. Something was happening when my mom was pregnant with me, she never said what, but whatever it was it made them leave even though I could see how much they missed it." She commented, reflecting on her parents hushed conversations late at night and things that had been said at her fathers remembrance ceremony. She was vaguely aware of what had been going on, now, but she didn't tell Eli this. That was a more private matter for her and one she still didn't know all that much about.

His last comment about Idris came back to her suddenly, his statement on not having been back for seven years. She assumed when a lot of this happened to him and wondered how old he'd been when it had. She would guess him to be no older than 26, her eyes scanning his features considerately as she tried gauging his age. "I never did ask how old you were, not that it's mattered. Just curious." She said suddenly, not having to meant to actually ask him what his age was. She felt like this was a time to be getting to know him even though she knew she would have to break away from him. The setting was right, they were out to breakfast as friends, had just spent a lot of time together watching over eachother. Yes, friends just kiss eachother because they want to her mind teased and she almost grimaced. She wish she could honestly say she regretted doing that in the infirmary, but she didn't. Almost absently her eyes lowered to his lips for a fraction of a second before quickly moving back up to his eyes. Just looking at them made her heart stop for a second in remembering the electric feeling that took over her when their lips met.

She felt a flush coming to her cheeks before she felt someone stop at their table. She'd been too immersed in noticing him she hadn't even heard the waitress approach them again. "Do you need more coffee?" The girl asked and Audrina raised her brows slightly as she tilted her eyes to her. Clearly she only thought of Eli as she stood there, body turned from Audrina and toward him. She hadn't asked the blonde if she needed anything, which she didn't, but she found herself growing annoyed once more. This was one of the reasons she didn't like Mundane hangouts generally. Nephilim were some of the most beautiful beings on earth and people noticed. She didn't feel this would be occurring in a non-Mundane diner. Or it could be much worse if Eli made himself so readily available for a downworld waitress. He is available, what is wrong with you? her mind questioned as she dropped her eyes from the waitress and pulled her tea to her lips to slide herself from anyone's attention. She was jealous. That was what this about and she hated it. She didn't want anything with him, couldn't have anything with him, and so she shouldn't be feeling this way. He wasn't hers and she most certainly wasn't his. They were just working together to retrieve his brother.

[Serendipity]

The corners of Eli's eyes creased a little as he smiled across at the blonde who was attempting to hide her own grin over his recollection of her dumping him on the Institute floor the night she'd found him and bought him to the others. He might have been annoyed at it in those first few days he'd been in the Institute but he wasn't anymore. "No I suppose not." He shrugged as she pointed out he'd been heavy and not to blame her for not being able to hold his weight. "I guess I probably deserved it anyhow, I know I can be - what was it you called me?- 'A self obsessed prat' at times." He admitted. His coffee had started to cool down rather quickly now and he brought it to his lips sipping at it a little more, there was nothing worse then cold coffee.

He saw Audrina watching him intently and listening the same as he spoke of Idris, she seemed genuinely interested in what he was saying, she wasn't like those people who asked you a question but then gave you a bored look halfway through your answer. She truly was interested in knowing these facts about him and now he wished he'd given her more, at least a more descriptive incounter of his time in Idris since she hadn't been there. A lot if shadowhunters considered Idris to always be there home even if they lived somewhere else in the world and didn't get to visit often. Eli hadn't thought of it as his home in such a long time, but speaking of it now he realised it still was even after all the years he'd spent away from Idris. At the same time it held such bad memories for him that he was almost afraid of going back; but it also held many good memories too and perhaps he should pay his old home a visit soon.

When Audrina explained that her parents had chosen to raise their children outside of Idris Eli nodded slowly, he didn't know her parents is he didn't know what their reasoning was for leaving there and felt he shouldn't comment on it or press for more clarification from her. He suspected her parents reasons had come to light later on, but whatever it was it wasn't his business and if Audrina wanted to tell him she would have. "It has a tranquility and beauty about it that's hard to describe. You should visit and then you'd know what I mean," Eli suggested lightly though he doubted she would any time soon...if she ever got the chance. He didn't like thinking about Audrina's little death wish that she'd made mention of a few weeks ago and that Hodge had clarified a little for him. It wasn't pleasant to think about, he didn't want to think of her no longer in this world anymore and quickly pushed such thoughts aside.

Luckily she was asking him how old he was, a little fact they both didn't know about each other, and he was able to use that as a distraction from his straying thoughts. "I'm twenty-five. I would return the question, but apparently it's rude to ask a woman her age..." He's words tapered off slightly as he witnessed the way her eyes suddenly dropped to his lips before springing back up to his gaze; Eli wondered where her thoughts had gone in that moment but didn't ask, smirking inwardly to himself. He didn't have a chance to finish asking her how old she was despite it being rude as the waitress stopped by their table once more. Eli was still wondering what Audrina had been thinking about that had her flushing and hadn't noticed the waitress until she spoke.

Eli looked up at the waitress briefly before looking sidelong at Audrina realising the waitress had all but ignored her and saw her look of displeasure along with something else he couldn't quite recognise in her eyes from this angle. Eli offered the woman a polite smile, nothing flashy this time. "A refill please," He said before he looked over at Audrina who had almost slid so far down in her seat it was almost as if she wanted to hide under the table. When he looked back up at the waitress and saw her back turned to Audrina and the look she was giving him he suspected he might have gotten her hopes up a little too much. The woman didn't have to be rude and ignore Audrina however.

"Would you like another tea?" He asked the blonde as the waitress finished filling up his cup and had been about to walk off without asking her if she wanted anything. The waitress stopped, feigned an apologetic look as she turned back to their table and glanced at Audrina. "Oh I'm sorry, I just thought it looked like you hadn't quite finished yours yet. Would you like me to get you another chamomile or something else?" The woman asked.

[Yunalesca]

As the waitress continued to pointedly ignore her she slumped back against the booth and slid from her proper posture with her teacup in hand. She fought against he faces she felt like making as she spoke to Eli with such want. She felt like a juvenile as she wanted nothing more than to make contorted faces at the back of the girl. It was quite beneath her to be jealous of a Mundane, but that was the reality of it. He noticed her, but didn’t seem to notice Audrina in that way. He did and you pushed him away. What did you expect? she thought and bit her lip before forcing the teacup to her lips and drinking nearly half of it to keep herself busy and to not revert to the juvenile antics that were flashing through her mind. She shouldn’t be behaving or thinking in the fashion she was, but it was occurring anyway. Eli had found a way through her armor and made her like him. This had never happened with anyone else and she was mildly confused by it. She’d been continually telling herself ‘no’ and ‘off limits’ but it didn’t seem to convince her. She wanted him to look at her in that way again, though she wondered if she would push back just as hard as before if he did. Her mood swings were bound to give anyone whiplash, including herself. She didn’t know if it was because of Magnus’ failed block in her mind or just the traumatic events of her youth that made her be on this roller coaster of emotions. Either way, she wanted off it and to be on one wavelength for once.

She brought her eyes back up as Eli addressed her, seemingly reminding the waitress of her presence. Her brows were downcast in a dark look, resisting the urge to turn her eyes to the girl. She was sure if she did the daggers of ice in her grays would kill her on the spot. If that were even an ability a Shadowhunter could have. “I’m quite fine, thanks.” She said curtly with a sort of malice. The girls seemed to realize her mistake and Audrina could actually hear her stop breathing for a second before she was backing away and toward the kitchen to hide. A slightly sadistic smile came to her lips at the enjoyment of making the Mundane squirm before she took another drink of the warm tea to calm herself. It wouldn’t bode well to keep on this path, she might actually frighten someone half to death if she did. It was the enjoyment she got out of it that was the mildly frightening part. She may nitpick and be an ass to those around her, but she generally didn’t get quite the thrill out of it as she just had. It made her feel like some lioness asserting her authority.

She took a deep breath and let the feeling float out of her with the exhale. Her intentions were not to be a bitch during breakfast. She would have to work with Eli if his brother were to be saved. She had to remember the point of all this and not lose herself to, well, herself. She swallowed her pride and finally brought her eyes to Eli’s, a more relaxed expression across her face now. “Sorry, that was probably uncalled for.” She said, leaving out the part where she felt exhilarated by the slight beratement of the waitress. It was attitudes like that which led Shadowhunters to turn dark, like Valentine. She had to be using her energy elsewhere, like thinking of how to free Travis from his bonds to his alpha. She cleared her throat and lowered the nearly empty teacup to the table, having sat forward once more and letting her hands rest on either side of the porcelain cup. “I do believe you were about to be rude and ask me my age?” She toyed slightly, feeling the mood from before returning to her. She wouldn’t let some Mundane waitress make her fly off the handle.

She watched him with an upturned eyebrow and slight smirk before letting it drop into a sort of smile. He wanted to know and undoubtedly would be forward in asking for it. “24. My favorite color is yellow. I wanted to be a ballerina as a kid. Does that answer all your awkward questions?” She said in humored sarcasm. Her favorite color was most definitely not yellow, though she had wanted to be a dancer for the rest of her life. He didn’t need to know that was the truth, however. Her tone had been formally sarcastic for her last two answers and she knew he would catch that. She gave a bit of herself to him and he would be none the wiser. “And I don’t remember my birthday if you were going to try and plan something. Surprises make me angry, anyway.” She warned to him. It was true, however, that she didn’t remember her birthday. She knew it was approaching, that it was some day in this month, but she couldn’t say when. She hadn’t had anybody to celebrate it with in over 8 years, why should she remember it? There were records of every Shadowhunter birth and death, but she didn’t care to look hers up. It was just a painful reminder that she was alone.

“What about your birthday? We could have a big to-do. A stripper cake and all. I’m sure Alec would love that.” She commented lightly in sarcasm as she thought of how uncomfortable the Shadowhunter would become at the prospect. She could only imagine the look on Hodge’s face if he heard of it. She almost laughed, but kept it quietly to herself, though she knew the humor flashed through her eyes. They were doing anything but what they were supposed to be doing, but she felt that was alright. Werewolves and murder were not generally the best topics of conversations to be having around Mundane’s. Unless you wanted them to think you were crazy, which could also be fun at times. “And before you say it, I don’t strip. For anybody.” She commented, bringing her spoon up to point at him before stirring her tea again to get the right consistency of honey. Normally she would have never said half the things she had just said without a sort of biting tone. Either the tea was working just that well or she was getting more comfortable around Eli. She wasn’t sure if that was exactly a good thing, either.

[Serendipity]

Was she jealous? Eli couldn’t help wondering as he looked sidelong at the blonde who seemed to be trying to be invisible as the waitress refilled his cup of coffee. He didn’t miss a few of the dark glances she threw at the brunette mundane; or maybe she was just unhappy that she was being ignored and all the waitresses attention seemed to be for him only. Whatever Audrina might have thought, the waitress didn’t interest him, not in the slightest and he was now merely being polite towards her, although he thought it rude that the woman was ignoring the blonde across from him; but what was he supposed to do without causing a scene either with the waitress or the blonde shadowhunter. He felt he should do something however, which was why he bought the waitresses attention to the fact that he wasn’t the only one sitting in this booth. It was difficult for Eli to tell by the waitresses reactions if she was being sincere and had truly assumed Audrina wouldn’t want another tea because she still hadn’t finished the one she had or if she just didn’t care.

His brow rose slightly in surprise at the tone Audrina used to address the waitress when she finally asked if she wanted another tea, with a sort of malice. She was jealous. He realised suddenly and fought the urge not to openly grin and instead did so inwardly; Eli would be lying if he said he didn’t like that Audrina was jealous of the attention the waitress was giving him and he her, although he hadn’t thought he was giving her any more attention than normal. He felt almost sorry for the waitress who was now scurrying away and had copped the brunt of one of Audrina’s dark moods, they weren’t pleasant for anyone. Eli lifted his now fresh cup of coffee to his lips and watched the blonde thoughtfully over the rim as she exhaled and sat forward; he took a sip from the black liquid and blanched quickly setting the mug down and reaching for more sugar sachets.

“A little,” Eli agreed lightly as he broke open two sachets and poured them into his coffee. “She did ignore you though,” He said sticking up for the blonde as he dissolved the sugar into the cup with a few quick stirs with his spoon. He hoped her displeasure with the waitress hadn’t ruined her mood entirely though; they’d been having a nice conversation and had been getting on fairly well. He soon found his answer as Audrina sat forward looking at him with an upturned brow and a smirk that turned into a smile. She reminded him that he’d been going to ask her age before the waitress had appeared again. Not the waitress. The way she’d been looking at your mouth, he reminded himself; memories of kissing her flooded his mind and he quickly took a mouthful of coffee to distract himself from them as she answered his unfinished question before he could ask it again.

She told him she was twenty-four which he could believe, and he’d guessed she was between nineteen and twenty-two, although he’d been off the mark a bit. “Your favorite color is not yellow,” The words came out in a half laugh as he made the statement, it might have been the sarcastic note in her voice that had made him aware that she was lying about that little fact or it could have been that he’d never seen her wear that color or owned anything purposefully yellow; though somehow he knew that wasn’t her favorite color. “The ballerina thing could be true; and no, that doesn’t answer all my awkward questions, I have more,” He and sipped at his coffee as he watched her other the top of it once more, hiding a small smile behind the action. His smile faltered a little as she stated that she didn’t remember her birthday, everyone was supposed to know their birthdays. Eli wanted to ask her why it was that she didn’t remember what day her birthday was, but thought it would be getting into things she didn’t like discussing and if the waitresses attitude hadn’t ruined things that certainly would.

Eli had always had his brother to remind him that his birthday was coming up, occasionally having a meal together to celebrate -though there was never a cake like his mother used to make them each when they were kids- and Eli had always remembered Travis’s birthday. But Audrina didn’t have anyone to remember hers and he felt a small pang of sympathy for her; she didn’t seem to celebrate it either or acknowledge the day. They should have been discussing more important things, like freeing his brother and how to do it without upsetting the werewolf community too much, but it was hardly something that could be talked about openly in a mundane diner. Had he brought her here because of that reason, so they had no choice but to talk about things other than Downworlders? Perhaps subconsciously he had, because he wanted to get to know her, wanted to see how they’d both be together outside of the Institute.

Eli chuckled and shook his head as she said they should have a big to-do for his birthday and even have a stripper cake. “You think? He doesn’t seem that interested in women, at least that’s the vibe I got.” Eli said remembering the exchanged looks of both Alec and Magnus Bane, he’d thought there’d been something between them but he didn’t know either of them that well to be sure. “And I’ve already had my birthday, February 18th. I never thought of a stripper cake though, that would have been interesting.” His smiled transformed into a small grin before any expression was wiped from his face when Audrina firmly pointed out that she didn’t strip for anybody, as though he might have been thinking to use her as the stripper hiding in his birthday cake. Now that put images in his head she would certainly hit him for and he blinked a couple of times to push them out.

“I wouldn’t dream of saying any such thing,” He replied, not daring to tell her she’d made him think of it though. His fingers tapped lightly on the side of his cup, something else to distract him from his mind slipping into thoughts of Audrina bursting from a large cake and stripping for him. Thank goodness the waitress appeared again, this time carrying their food. She made a point of setting Audrina’s plate down first and then his before she walked off briskly not looking at either one of them. “I think,” Eli said and jerked his head in the direction of the waitress, “she got the message.” Whatever message Audrina’s female vibes were sending out that is.

He glanced down at his plate and pushed his coffee aside reaching for his food to drag it closer to him. His stomach growled a little to remind him he was hungry as he was unwrapping his cutlery.

[Yunalesca]

She was watching him as he made a face at the coffee and felt a sort of elation for it. The Mundane broad had probably burned it, not even knowing how to make coffee. But the feeling went away as he merely grabbed sugar from the table caddy and poured several teaspoons worth into the cup. She wasn’t sure if she’d made a face at it or not, but she felt her stomach turning at the prospect of so much sugar in coffee. The French enjoyed their specialty coffees, but she had always been one to appreciate the true flavor of the bean. She’d never understand how so many people ruined that rich flavor with the likes of sugar. “If you weren’t half angel I’d say you should be worried about being a diabetic.” She commented lightly with a brow gesturing to the now empty sugar packets that rested on the table. Could Shadowhunters be diabetic? She’d never heard of one before. The only affliction they seemed to catch was from demon bites, or one from a Downworlder. It made her reflect back to her youth when both her and her sister had caught a serious fever at the same age. She had thought nothing of it until now. She’d never seen a Shadowhunter catch a cold or the flu. What had afflicted the sisters, she wondered.



Her musings went away in a flash of a smile when he did speak after her divulging false information of herself. It only reflected the look of ‘you caught me’. Her expression changed at his remaining statement, however, her brows rising as he stated he had more questions to ask of her. A look of ‘oh really?’ crossed her face as she looked at him curiously. He wasn’t the only one with questions, but she was a little more reserved in asking hers. In the back of her mind she felt that gentle prodding to remind her that this couldn’t go on forever. She would break his heart and walk away from him to her own death. It was cruel for her to be indulging him, and herself moreso. She was growing a little attached and it was going to be all the more painful down the road for her. What she had foresaw as a simple rip of the bandaid had turned into a full blown wound cauterization. The term ‘this is going to hurt’ flashed quickly through her mind before she dispelled it. Not now, she thought gently to herself as her attention returned to him.



Her eyes widened slightly as Eli brushed against the truth of Alec, though she quickly recovered in hopes he didn’t notice. Audrina didn’t care one way or another who or what the Shadowhunter liked, but not everyone saw it the same way. Another reason she generally was against the Clave and their ancient way of running things. It was no better than the Mundane society and the blonde felt they should be more advanced than that. She mildly understood the Clave’s obsession with more Shadowhunters being born, their numbers dwindling every day, but forcing someone against their will was not something she felt to be right. Let people be happy, but the Clave didn’t thrive on happiness. They thrived on grief and lots of it. Scare tactics to get people to do as they wanted. She almost shook her head as she thought of this. A few months ago she wouldn’t have really cared a whit about Alec, but she found herself defending him more every day. He tried erasing your memories, remember? she thought and had to crack her neck to keep from the bristling effect take over her body. She might never forgive him for that no matter the reasons he offered for doing it.



Her attention quickly reverted to Eli as he mentioned his birthday, subconsciously filing it away for reasons she didn’t know. She was clinging again. Clinging to a normalcy that she’d never have nor did she deserve. She wanted to remember his birthday and get him something, but she knew their paths would be forever separated by then. A small sideways smile pulled at her mouth as he said he wouldn’t dream of it. You’re a rotten liar she thought as she found she was growing familiar with his appearance when he lied. He could be pretty convincing with his eyes, but there was this underlying mischievous smile that wanted to break out from him. She could see it just under the surface, a miniscule muscle twitch at the corner of his mouth that she could compare to a boy’s smile when he knew he’d just lied and wouldn’t get caught. She did catch him, however, but didn’t say anything out loud about it. She found she wasn’t even appalled with him thinking of her as a stripper when normally it would. His eyes running over her bare skin would have made her quiver in fear weeks ago, but now it merely made her flush.



The color quickly left her cheeks as her food was set down in front of her, the waitress making a point to hand hers off first. “Thank you.” She said in a bored tone, not giving a hint of any satisfaction in her voice before the girl was leaving again. She pressed a napkin to her lap and smirked at Eli. “I didn’t even have it on full blast.” She said with a sort of laugh, though she should be pitying the waitress. Audrina wasn’t exactly asking to speak with her manager so she had no issues with laughing at the predicament. She’d handled the situation just fine on her own without getting the girl fired. Maybe she’d learn a lesson for next time. Learn a lesson? What’d she have to learn? You’re not his girlfriend, her mind pressed and she almost dropped her silverware. Not once had she thought the word when it came to Eli and she found it held a weight. That’s not what she wanted, she tried convincing herself. She started cutting her omelet into several small pieces to distract herself from her thoughts. Even with a half order she wasn’t sure she could finish the meal with how her stomach was churning now. She didn’t eat much on the best of days but she could easily finish an omelet half the size of the plate. Her thoughts were making her nervous and that was another unfamiliar emotion.



She bit into the first small portion of the omelet and let the flavors settle in her mouth before swallowing. “At least the chef knows what they’re doing, though it is just an omelet,” she said, giving half a compliment before pushing forward with eating more as she found she was rather hungry. She was sure she’d eaten the day before, but couldn’t recall exactly. She’d been reverting to her old habits and honestly couldn’t remember the days she ran on adrenaline and the days she actually ran on food. She set her fork down with a ¼ of the omelet eaten and cleansed her palate with the remainder of her tea. She suddenly wished she’d asked for a refill, but there was no hope for it now. “You didn’t tell me your favorite color. Though I’m going to guess you wanted to be in a motorcycle gang when you were a kid. No, wait, you wanted to be a…horse trainer. Am I close?” She joked to him, that sarcastic smile coming over her face as she looked at him. Did Shadowhunter children dream of being something else, or was that just her? She’d never fully embraced the life, had fought against it in fact until her mother had been taken from her. Aurelie had been in love with it the moment she figured out what she could do.

[Serendipity]

Eli glanced towards Audrina as he finished pouring the two sachets of sugar into his cup, a slow smile spread across his lips at her comment stirring the sugar through. “I’m a sugar addict.” He said with a small shrug; it wasn’t entirely true, he wasn’t addicted to sugar he just liked it in his coffee and occasionally enjoyed a sugary treat; when he was a child though he’d had a real sweet tooth but as he’d gotten older it had passed; he still had to have sugar in his coffee though no matter what, much to Audrina’s distaste it seemed. “It’s a good thing I’m a shadowhunter and all the training that goes with it, I’d never have this figure otherwise,” Eli gestured towards his toned chest and down to his abdomen with a smirk.

His smirk only widened as he saw the ‘oh really’ look she was giving him when he mentioned he had plenty more awkward questions to ask her, but he only nodded and returned a responding look her way that said ‘yes I do’ before he lifted his cup of coffee to his lips again and drank some of it; it tasted much better now with the sugar mixed through a sweet taste mixing through with the bitter taste of the coffee bean. He would keep some of those questions for a later date, some of them required her to like him a bit more before he could ask them, Eli didn’t exactly like the thought of being punched in the face in a public place full of mundanes.

He’d tried to keep a straight face when he’d told her he wouldn’t never dream of thinking she would strip for him on his birthday; he was thinking of it right now, a completely inappropriate thoughts but she was the one who had put the image in his head. He suspected that she didn’t believe him, he could feel the corners of his mouth twitch trying to hold back a grin. She didn’t say anything further on the topic though which was probably a good things since it wasn’t the best thing to discuss in a public diner and the waitress had just returned with their meals. “Audrina...your thoughts on what classifies as ‘full blast’ probably differs from what most people consider it to be.” Eli remarked once the waitress had gone.


He was cutting a piece of sausage when she commented on the chef and the omelette she was eating. “See, this place isn’t so bad, have a little faith.” He smiled and stabbed the sausage into a piece of egg before biting it off his fork. They ate in silence for a few minutes, both of them distracting themselves with their food and he was halfway through his when Audrina spoke. “A horse trainer?” He questioned in bemusement and shook his head a little. “Not even a little. I like horses and all that, I know how to ride one since its the only form of transport in Idris but I hadn’t ever considered being a horse trainer. And motorcycles are alright though the thought of growing a full beard and piercings put me off from joining a gang.” He explained lightly.

“My favorite color is green,” He answered her question honestly as he picked up a piece of toast and bit into it; he saw no need to lie about what his favorite color. His mothers eyes had been green, so were Travis’s and he guessed that was his reasons for liking the color. “When I was young I never wanted to be anything else but a shadowhunter like my father; he never pushed me into it though, I could have done anything I wanted and had his support, but I wanted to be just like him so there was no other choice for me.” Eli reflected, her comment about what he’d wanted to be when he was younger had made him think back on that time and he felt like sharing. He wanted her to know these things about him he realised with a little surprise. Right now she could ask him anything and he’d answer truthfully whereas if someone else did he might have twisted some of his answers so they wouldn’t get the whole truth.

“What’s your favorite color? I know it’s not yellow.” He asked and felt that if she gave him that one small part of herself he would be satisfied for the remainder of the day; one step closer to knowing a little more about her. He could start with the small questions and build his way up to the bigger ones day by day if he needed. How many days do you really have though? His mind questioned before he could push the thought away. If all went well with freeing Travis then he might only have another week tops to spend with Audrina, and most of that time would be spent planning his escape and not at diners talking over breakfast. There was also the fact that after they freed his brother she would go back to her own mission which Hodge had said involved finding her mother and killing her.

He didn’t want to think about those things right now however, and pushed them aside, deciding that he would focus on the here and now and the time they still had to talk over breakfast.

[Yunalesca]

She rolled her eyes at him as he proclaimed that she thought differently of her attitude as everyone else did. It was his saying of her name that was making her think, however. She could probably count the times on her hand of when he’d said her name. The way he casually said it was what had her reflecting the most. It was relaxed as though it were a common practice for them to say eachothers names, as though they were old friends or maybe something more. You’re neither the voice whispered to her and she lowered her gaze briefly. They could be if she let it, that much she was growing aware of. He seemed to want it as well and yet she was continually fighting this internal battle against him. The dangers of letting someone in was more threatening to her than any other thing. Death didn’t even frighten her as much as the possibility of having her heart and soul shattered again. She couldn’t live through it again, wouldn’t live through it again.

Her attention was shifted from herself as she heard Eli’s voice again and she brought her gray eyes up once more as she forced herself to cut off more of the omelet. She had been nearly dead only a few days ago and had to build her strength back somehow. She couldn’t possibly win if her stamina was sapped and there was less to her than there already was. “Motorcycles are more than alright.” She interjected, pointing her fork with omelet on the end at him to make her point before sliding it into her mouth to be eaten. It was already growing cold and she felt she probably wouldn’t finish it. Maybe she’d take it home to the cat, wherever he’d been lurking. She hadn’t seen him since she’d come back. She wondered if something had happened when Valentine had shown up, but felt it wasn’t something to ask in case ill had befallen the creature.

Green, he likes green. she filed away in her mind and reflected on it briefly. Not many people chose the color. Red and blue were most popular with purple and pink coming in close behind. She couldn’t think of anyone else who’d liked the color green. Her attention reverted to him as he continued on in his explanation of himself and offered information she hadn’t thought she’d get from him. Of course he’d always wanted to be a Shadowhunter. Everyone at the Institute, with the exception of Clary, had always wanted to be one when they found out what their blood was made of. But not me. I never wanted this, she whispered in her mind and her gaze fell from him again, an almost pained expression taking her face. Were it not for this life she’d still have a family. It was because of Shadowhunter blood that they were dead and she had been forced into the one thing she hated. She often felt herself wondering if fate were real and had intervened to make her become a Shadowhunter against her will. Fate could be a cruel mistress in that way and she wouldn’t be surprised if it were the truth.

She was brought back from the brink by his voice again, it washing through her and dissipating the hurt and anger she was feeling. She brought her eyes up quizzically as she barely heard what he’d said. Favorite color his voice echoed in her mind and she bit her lip slightly as her hair fell into her eyes. It wasn’t giving away much in telling him, was it? She flicked her hair back and sighed. “Cyan. We had a pond by our house when I was little. The water was so pure, clear enough to see the bottom.” She paused and laughed softly, her eyes looking a little far away as a memory struck her. “I used to beg my dad to take me down there every day to watch the turtles. Most boring thing in the world, but he didn’t mind. I don’t know why I liked them so much, but I did. Cyan was the color of the water and it was my favorite color from that moment on.” She said with a little smile before she suddenly felt self conscious and let her hair fall back over her face to hide the pink flush that had come to her cheeks.

Once it passed she brushed her hair back with her hand and pushed the plate away from her, feeling she wouldn’t be eating any more of it. “Does your brother look like you?” She asked suddenly, her arms bending and coming to rest on the table making her look considerate as she kept eye contact with him. Was this too forward a question, she wondered. She wasn’t so sure she could answer any questions he had of Aurelie, but Travis was still alive. It was different for him.

[Serendipity]

“That’s right...you like motorcycles.” He smirked at her interjection, remembering the Ducati she owned and which he had ridden on a few times now, twice as a passenger and the the third with Audrina on the back, her arms encircled around his waist. “You drive that thing like a maniac by the way,” He commented; none of those times had been very pleasant for him though, he wasn’t sure if it was just the fact that he hadn’t liked the experience because he wasn’t the one in control of the vehicle and the time that he had been he’d been too worried about getting Audrina back to the Institute after her run in with an entire vampire lair.

He really wished she wouldn’t bite her lip, it drew his attention to her mouth and had him remembering the kiss they’d shared in the weapons room, desire driven, and the kisses she’d ran up his neck until her lips reached his mouth, softer, kisses that spoke of affection rather than steamy desire. Both times had sent his head in a spin and made his heart race faster than it ever had before; it had been a miracle he hadn’t burst into flames when she kissed him, his entire body had felt like it was on fire. Just thinking of it now made his skin grow warm and he suddenly wished he wasn’t wearing so many layers of clothes. Eli forced his gaze away from her lips and stuffed his mouth full of food as a distraction.

The dark haired shadowhunt chewed quietly as she answered his question on her favorite color. She said it was Cyan, a color he knew wasn’t just an ordinary blue; again he was expecting a short answer and again she surprised him by giving the story behind why her favorite color was Cyan. He had swallowed what he had been chewing as she told her story - there was a pond by her house and she’d convinced her father to take her there every day to watch the turtles that swam in the pond- and smiled softly fighting the urge to reach across and grip her hand as she spoke of her father. She didn’t appear to get upset at mentioning her father -although she let her hair fall around her face, to hide a blush he suspected - but he knew underneath the surface it was probably hard for her to speak of him if only briefly.

Her next question caught him off guard a little and he felt his jaw slacken at the unexpectancy of it; he tightened his jaw and glanced down at his almost empty plate. Did Travis look like him, he wondered; it wasn’t something he’d never thought he’d taken much notice of but now she had him picturing he and Travis standing side by side singling out the differences between them. Of course he was three years younger than Eli was so that was a considerable difference in itself, and Travis had green eyes like their mother not blue like their father. Where Eli’s features were more masculine; a rough symmetrical jawline, prominent cheekbones, sharp eyebrows and his hair a dark almost black color, Travis had softer but slightly more angular features, with green eyes and his hair was a much lighter shade of brown. Eli was slightly taller than his brother and his shoulders were broader, his waist narrower; but they both had the same nose and skin tone.

“Travis looks more like our mother, he has her green eyes and light brown hair. I inherited most of our fathers genes. We have the same nose...” He explained and touched his finger to the tip of his nose at the same time. “And our hair is never kept neat because we both have this habit of brushing our fingers through it - Travis when he’s in thought and he thinks a lot. I do it because I can’t be bothered with a comb,” Eli chuckled, but it wasn’t true, he mostly ran his fingers through his hair when he was frustrated or out of nerves.

He was about to ask her if she looked like her sister, but stopped himself before he did, feeling it wasn’t a question he should be asking her just yet. It was different for him and her questions about his brother, Travis was -as far as Eli knew- still alive and Audrina’s sister wasn’t. She hadn’t been able to say her sister’s name to him yet, the pain of losing her still so fresh for Audrina, asking her what she looked like would probably open even fresher wounds.

“Who taught you how to cook?” He asked instead. The question he asked may or may not have been a good idea either, but he remembered both times she’d cooked at the Institute and how at ease she’d seemed to be in the kitchen.

[Yunalesca]

Audrina watched him patiently as he seemed to be reflecting on the appearance of his brother. She noted her question had caught him by surprise and she wondered anew if maybe she had overstepped herself. Knowledge of his brother’s turn may still be giving him too much grief and she felt herself being chastised in her own mind for not being very considerate. It’d only been a day since he’d been brought back from the beating at the hands of the were pack, a day after finding out his brother was no longer a Shadowhunter. She should’ve thought better about the question and not asked it. She opened her mouth to retract it, to apologize even, but he was starting to describe his brother to her before she could. She took a careful breath and listened closely to him, letting an image form in her mind.

She could almost picture every line of Travis’ face, his stature, his eyes as Eli described him thoughtfully. He looked like their mother, he said, and she had started to slowly develop a picture of her in her mind as well. She wasn’t sure why she was doing so, his mother wasn’t a concern of hers, but she was. She wanted to know him and forming a picture of his family helped with that. It was the opposite of what she should be doing and yet she continued to do so regardless. Forming these images would make her grow attached. She was telling herself she needed to know what Travis looked like in order to rescue him, however. It was mostly a lie and she knew it. She did offer him a smile amid her frustration with herself, almost laughing at his comment of not being bothered with a comb. “I like it how it is anyway.” She said before thinking better of it. She took a sharp breath at the realization of how it sounded to her ears and undoubtedly his.

When his voice came to her again she felt her mind struggling to wrap around it, still mildly flustered with her prior statement to him. Things were coming out without her intention when he was around. She would give too much of herself if she weren’t more careful. Slowly she began to reflect on the first time she’d ever cooked. “My parents taught me a few things, simple stuff like Shrimp Scampi. I got bored rather easily as a kid and needed something more to occupy my time or I’d be getting into a lot of trouble.” She admitted with a slight smile. She had always been getting herself and Aurelie in trouble when they weren't looking. Of course her sister wasn't purely an angel either. They had been a handful and at times she wished she had been a little more docile for them. Normally these memories would have sparked a severe constricting pain in her chest, but at the moment she reflected on them more fondly than in heartbreak. "There was an older woman in the Mundane town we lived just outside of who had her own bakery and pastry shop. I would go and buy supplies from her a lot for my parents, errands to keep me busy, but I always had a curious eye as to how she made things. SHe seemed to notice and would offer little lessons everytime I went to her. She seemed to know my mind needed stimulation. I learned almost everything I know from her. She gave me a book of recipes once, but I lost it. She was very kind to me and I never forgot it." She said as she remembered the woman and the book she'd given her. What she didn't say was that the book hadn't been all that ordinary of a cookbook. She found out later after a lot of thought she had been a witch and knew what Audrina and her family were. She had always heard witches weren't to be trusted due to their ties to demons, but she had been different. She had pushed Audrina to follow her own dreams, something her parents had never done.

That pain she had locked away started to resurface then, washing through her eyes as she recalled her parents in fondness and a hint of dislike. She hated that she felt it, but shhe'd always felt her dreams had been stripped from her because of them. "You're a Shadowhunter. It's in your blood and that is what you will be when you grow up. It's time to put those dreams of dancing and cooking away. That is not who you're supposed to be." her mother's voice echoed in her head and she had to bring her fingers to her temples to stop it. she knew it was noticeable that something was wrong, that she was distressed, but she hoped eli didn't press it. she wasn't ready for that kind of talk yet. there was a difference between what they were discussing now and that deeper set of truths she hid from everyone. you do plan to let him in, then? the voice questioned and shhe pushed it away. She sighed heavily and brought her eyes back to his, the expressions of pain and discomfort gone. "I would ask where you learned to cook, but I can tell that never really happened." She joked lightly in an attempt to bring the heat off herself. She wanted to know more, a lot more, about him but felt it was time to stop. She couldn't give any more of herself away and expect him to. she knew she was retreating from him again and tried to put on the brakes. She liked talking with him and didn't want to be done yet, but they had more important matters to be discussing.

"It's probably not what you want to be talking about, but we have to. Where was your brother at when you found him? I might know the district and be of more help." She asked, feeling they had to stop playing footsie and getting down to the reality of the situation. She didn't want to inflict pain on him by changing the subject to more unpleasant things, but it had to be done. Abruptly she reached out and took his hand as she saw something reflecting in his eyes. "i'm going to help you. i might not be the best choice or the most ideal, but i've been around these kinds of things for a long time. We'll get him back. I promise." she said out loud and felt something inside her quiver. she'd never promised anyone anything before. at least anyone outside her family. She was growing attached if she was doing this.

[Serendipity]

Eli thought he felt his cheeks grow warm when Audrina pointed out that she liked his hair messy, it was the first time she had ever complimented his appearance. It made him aware that somewhere along the line she had started taking notice; any type of acknowledgement or show of affection from the blonde shadowhunter affected him a lot more than from anyone else. His feelings for her, whether they would ever truly be reciprocated or not, were real. Even though she had kept him at bay, told him she felt nothing, warned him to stay out of her way his heart hadn’t listened. Before he’d met this woman he had told himself that the heart could be controlled, that he could pick and chose who he cared for and what he did with those feelings. He’d never thought he wouldn’t have any control over it.

He kept quiet feeling no need to point out that there was in fact something she liked about him and she’d just admitted it, from her expression she already realised her mistake and was probably already worrying over what he’d think about it. She didn’t have to worry though, he wasn’t about to try and push even harder to get her to open up to him, he already knew that wouldn’t work. Audrina was already answering his question on who had taught her how to cook and Eli forced himself to pay attention to that. Smiling a little as she talked about the older woman who owned a bakery and that she had taught Audrina a few things here and there whenever Audrina had visited her and she’d given the young Audrina a cookbook to learn from. “That was nice of her,” He said once she’d finished, he could see the memories flashing across her gray orbs as she reminisced about some of her childhood.

He chuckled and sat back against the booth with a small shrug, he’d finished his breakfast and his coffee had gone cold now. “Self taught.” He confessed with a small grin. “I taught myself the basics of cooking when it was just myself and Travis.” He added, he was no longer being careful about what he told her about himself. He hadn’t spoken to anyone one about some of things he’d mentioned to Audrina this morning, never recounted bits of his childhood to people, not even the family who had taken him and Travis in at the London Institute once his mother had died; it had been too hard to talk about the past with them but with Audrina it all seemed to come easy, and he wondered if she asked about what had happened to his parents if it would still be easy.

She caught him off guard with her sudden change of subject, but he didn’t let it show, obviously she had decided the discussion they’d been having -asking each other questions about each other- were becoming too close for comfort. He tried not to be too disappointed, she was just protecting herself he reminded himself. She was right though, they needed to start making plans to get his brother free even if it was a touchy subject for him to do so. Eli had accepted her help and he needed to start letting her do it. With a small sigh he sat forward and rested his arms on the table trying to recall which district the meat factory had been in where he’d found Travis.

“It was an abandoned meet factory on the outskirts of the city, I’m not familiar with it I only followed Luke’s directions.” Eli explained feeling that he should have paid more attention to what part of town he’d actually been in. He glanced down quickly as Audrina took his hand in hers and then back across at her as she spoke. Eli curled his fingers lightly around hers, light enough that she could pull her hand away if she wanted. He felt more comforted with her hand in his then with just her promise that she would help him get Travis back. “I just don’t want you to get hurt because of me…” He stated softly but his words tapered off before he could say more knowing now was not the right time to be telling her it was because he cared about her more then he felt she even knew. “Thank you,” He said and gave her hand a small squeeze.

“There’s a park not far from here, we can go talk more there if you’d like or go back to the Institute maybe write some ideas down.” Eli suggested, he didn’t want to go back to the Institute just yet, he was enjoying his time with her outside of its walls more than he probably should have been. Going back to the Institute was probably the wiser idea out of the two, he would be able to concentrate more on Travis there.

[Yunalesca]

She was watching his expressions closely for signs of distress at her change of subject, but none seemed to come to his eyes. Either he had suddenly become better at fooling her or he had been expecting this to come up. She felt she might never know the answer as he sighed and began to seemingly piece together the whereabouts of his brother. She almost made a joke about the inability for men to keep a map in their heads, she generally heard the opposite expression, but chose against the measure. Humor like that might easily go the wrong way when they began talking seriously. The time for games was over as they had to get down to business to free his sibling. She would have done anything for Aurelie and knew Eli would feel the same about his brother. Her job in this was to make sure he didn’t get himself killed in the process, or that was how she looked at it.

When she felt his fingers curl around hers lightly she took a breath to soothe the now irregular rhythm of her heart. She was just comforting him, giving him confidence when he needed it most. The way she responded to a simple touch from him, however, told her all her thoughts were a lie. She was reaching out for him for herself as well as his own wellbeing. For the first time in years she craved attention of another. She’d been alone for so long that this had to come about eventually. Except Eli was the only one if had occurred for. She’d never batted a lash at the others but he had irked her from the start and she knew why. Somewhere in her mind she had foreseen he would get in behind her walls and make her want him. It was a dangerous venture and yet she continued to pursue it. Through all of this she managed to keep her eyes on his and not pull away even as he gave her fingers a soft squeeze in appreciation. “You’re not the one that’ll get me hurt, Eli. You don’t have to worry about that.” She said softly to him, realizing how it sounded after the fact. She just hoped he overlooked it and didn’t drag it out into another argument of her mortality.

Her expression softened as he suggested they talk in the park. It would open doors for more conversations on themselves which concerned her, but she was craving the tranquility the park would offer. Being surrounded by tall buildings and screeching cars 24/7 did a number on her nerves some days. She had grown up in a rather quiet countryside in another country, she wasn’t sure she’d ever fully adapt to life in a place like Brooklyn. It offered a hell of a nightlife and endless supplies of demons to hunt if she wanted, but sometimes it stretched her thin with patience. “I think the park is a good idea. The others might catch on if we go back to the Institute. If Jace overhears us talking he’ll be throwing his stele in the pile. It’d be downhill from there.” She said and felt her thumb absently running over the skin of his hand. She only realized she was doing so when a shadow came over the table and the waitress reappeared. Audrina felt her hand start to draw away from his as though she were embarrassed, but a weight held it there. She wasn’t sure if it was Eli keeping her or if it was herself.

“Was the omelet bad? Can I get you something else?” She questioned to the blonde, seemingly trying to make up for her behavior earlier. Audrina brought her eyes up to the girl and tried desperately to keep malice out of them. She’d probably already given the girl enough grief. “No. I’m just not that hungry. The check will do.” She said in a more polite manner before the girl was taking their plates and leaving the slip. The blonde managed to pull her hand away then and reach into her pants pocket for cash she had taken from her room. “Don’t even think about it. This was my idea and I hate it when people try and pay for me.” She commented as she pulled free some money and dropped it over the check, convincing herself to leave a tip even though she didn’t particularly like the girl. Her statement to him wasn’t a very good one, however, as she had let him buy her a drink at the club though she doubted he remembered.

“You’re going to have to lead the way. I could tell you every club and lair from here to Times Square, but I’ve never had the time for park hunting. Should we go back for my bike? I know how much you love riding on that.” She teased lightly as though she were trying to apologize for pulling away from him. It was nothing to apologize for, but she was feeling the need somewhere inside her. It was almost like teasing. She would let him in then abruptly pull back. She wondered how long he would put up with it, wondered if he was interested enough to keep trying. That’s not what you should be thinking about. You’re going to get both of you hurt she heard the voice chastising and actually weighed the comment in her mind. It was true. She would get them both hurt.

[Serendipity]

Eli was about to respond to Audrina telling him that he wasn’t the one that was going to get her hurt, he knew what she meant and didn’t like it at all, but saying anything on the matter would only cause an argument and end the day where it was. So he didn’t say anything and only dropped his gaze from hers for a moment so she wouldn’t see the doubt in his eyes, doubt that he couldn’t convince her to take a different path of action when it came to finding her mother, a more cautious path that didn’t just involve herself walking into a death trap. You haven’t tried hard enough, he admonished and knew it was true; he hadn’t tried hard enough to try and stop her because he wasn’t supposed to know what she had planned. She had only ever mentioned that she was hunting down the vampire queen -which he now knew was her mother, thanks to Hodge- and wouldn’t stop until the queen was dead or she died trying. He was well aware of her thoughts on death, that she was planning to go up against her mother and didn’t care if she was killed in the process. But Eli wasn’t supposed to know any of this or that the vampire queen was her mother, and he couldn’t let it slip that he did know because it would ruin what they had begun to build between them and that was the last thing Eli wanted.

He looked back across at her as she agreed that the park would be a good place for them to go and plan Travis’s rescue. She was right about the others finding out, especially if Jace knew there would be no telling him he couldn’t be part of what they were planning and then it would open up a whole new can of worms with the Clave. His breath caught in the back of his throat as he felt Audrina’s thumb running over the skin of his hand. He felt a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth appreciating the comforting touch, but it never quite formed into a true smile as the waitress appeared at their table once more and he thought Audrina would pull her hand from his. She didn’t, but he couldn’t be sure if it was because she didn’t want to her if it was the fact that he had made his grip on her hand a little more firm.

He sensed the effort it took the blonde not to scowl at the waitress and snap some remark at her as she told the woman she just wasn’t hungry and asked for the check. He felt her hand begin to pull from his as the waitress left leaving the slip on the table and reluctantly let her pull it free. He was reaching into his pocket at the same time as Audrina was reaching into hers, but she was quicker and already warning him not to bother getting his money out. That was his question answered on whether she would let him pay for their meal or not. Eli rolled his eyes and only left enough notes on the table to cover his meal and a little extra as a tip just to be polite.

He smirked at her teasing comment about going back for her bike as he stood up from the booth and shook his head. “If you’re driving, no thanks.” He teased back lightly as she got up from the table. “It’s not far anyway,” Eli added as they both made their way out of the diner. Eli held the door open for her so she could exit first and was right behind her once she had. “This way,” He nodded in the direction that would take them to the park and had the sudden urge to reach for her hand as though he’d done it a hundred times before; he shoved his hands into his pockets instead and began walking.

[Yunalesca]

A small smirk was coming over her features as she stood and started to exit the restaurant. “I thought you enjoyed a little danger in life. I haven’t even really opened the throttle on her with you on it yet. Now –that- is a thrill.” She commented as she reached for the door, but he beat her to it. She gave him a pointed look with a bit of gratitude and more of a look that he didn’t need to keep holding doors for her. It was something she was entirely unused to and wasn’t sure how to react to it. She managed to push her mild discomfort aside and step through ahead of him, waiting a moment for him to take a lead. She was reluctant to let him, but she hadn't the faintest idea of where he intended to go and had to give way to his guidance. Her pride wasn't suffering from this for once.

"DId you go to this place often to think, or do you have a thing for fairies?" She asked teasingly as she kept pace beside him, sensing a sort of discomfort coming over him. She hadn't missed how his hands shoved into his pockets and his posture was rather stiff. Had her comments been that offensive, she wondered? Surely not, she had only been teasing about the bike ride. She wouldn't open it up to it's full capacity if he didn't ask for it. She found it hard to admit that when she hit that top speed she even felt a bit frightened, afraid the handling wouldn't respond and she'd die painfully like some Mundane rather than honorably like a Shadowhunter in battle. She pulled her mind back from her bike and to her prior comment of fairies. She hadn't considered they could be in the park overhearing all they said, but the sprites generally kept to themselves. They could be vicious if provoked, but she had no intentions on that.

She felt the need to say something more to him, but couldn't fathom what she could say. She would have to give something in return if she dug too deep into his history and she wasn't willing to discuss more of her family. She felt he assumed they were all gone with how she spoke and cared little for her own mortality. She recalled having told him her sister had died, but not how. Nobody but she knew the cause and she wasn't about to let anyone know the truth on that. She also wasn't about to tell him the vampire she hunted was her own mother. Wanting to kill the woman who gave you life would appall most people and she didn't want to have Eli thinking of it while they were working to get his brother back. He deserved to have some family back, she wasn't so sure she did and didn't feel bad for herself about it. She jumped between acceptance and a pain filled hatred everytime she thought of what'd happened to her. It would be best if she didn't dwell on it now. They were supposed to be focusing on him, not her. There was nothing he could do for her.

"Did your brother seem alright when you saw him last? I mean as alright as he could be. If he maintained a level head it'll make this all a lot easier." She said softly as he turned them at the end of the block and kept going. She didn't want to talk about it with him knowing the amount of stress it caused, but it was necessary. She was grasping at straws as far as the situation was concerned and she knew it, but hoped bouncing ideas off eachother would help. She'd never worked with anyone and was new to the idea. She'd always worked alone even when the others were around. She'd taken the hit from the demon alone and had ultimately nearly killed herself. She would have to learn how this 'team' thing worked and she wasn't sure it would end well. They may be able to talk now, but it was a whole different thing out in the field. She was impulsive and felt he was more calculating. Not always the best combo even though it seemed to work for Jace and Alec. But what worked for them didn't always work for her, actually, it never worked for her. SHe just hoped she didn't get him or his brother killed in helping him with the situation. She was fine with her own life being on the line, but not his. A peculiar feeling for her.

"What I'm really trying to grasp at is whether he'll help. Were's are going to die and I need to know if you believe he'll side with you or them. I don't like the idea of knocking him out and dragging him out of there. Werewolves are heavy and I struggled getting you into the Institute." She commented after a bit of silence and consideration. What she was really worried about was his brother attacking them. If pack mentality had set in he might be lost already. She didn't want to believe it was so, but it was something to be considering. She hoped for Eli's sake, and their lives, that this wasn't the case. The only thing that could hurt him more than Travis' death would be if he turned on him. She remembered when Aurelie had splayed her vein open in her arm and nearly killed her. It was that gesture that hurt more than anything, even knowing she wasn't in her right mind when she did so. She felt herself take a painful breath at the memory and slip her cold fingers into her pants pockets.

[Serendipity]

The thought of having a ‘thing’ for fairies put a grin on Eli’s lips and he gave Audrina a sideways glance. There was that teasing in her voice again, and he wondered if she’d suddenly sensed his discomfort although it wasn’t for the reasons she was probably thinking. It was just that he had never ‘not’ been able to hold a girls hand before if he liked her because most of the time they’d liked him back and wanted that connection. Although Audrina wasn’t like any of the girls he’d ever dated -dated was a strong word; he hadn’t dated them exactly, maybe took them out for a drink before they’d gone back to a more private place to finish the night off- she was strong, stubborn, determined and deep down behind all those walls she was kind and caring, passionate in what she believed in and certainly never pretended to be what she wasn’t. But she had seen too much of the bad parts of life and hadn’t let herself experience the good ones to even know that they existed. She was nothing like the girls he’d been with in the past.

“No. No ‘thing’ for fairies I’m afraid.” He laughed softly as they walked side by side down the street, his hands still stuffed deep in his pockets. “I’ve only been to this park once, it helped clear my head a bit.” Eli said as he directed her to turn onto another street with a small jerk of his head. The park he was taking her too was miniscule compared to Central Park, which he’d ventured to only twice in his time in New York. It had a small grassed area, a playground off to corner for children and one or two benches to sit on. It wasn’t surrounded by trees and bushes or ponds and lakes like Central Park was, it was a lot more open and didn’t allow the noise of the city that surrounded it to be blocked out.

As she questioned if Travis seemed alright when he had found him Eli glanced down at his feet thoughtfully. He’d been kind of out of it having been almost beaten to death and the shock of seeing Travis alive had rattled him a little, but Travis had seemed himself although at the time Eli hadn’t known he had been turned. It wasn’t until those last moments, when his brother had left him at the gate and locked him out that he’d realised something wasn’t right with the other male. Then Luke had shown up and had spoken of how Travis couldn’t leave with them even if he wanted to, like there was an invisible barrier Eli couldn’t see keeping him on the other side of the fence. But even then the pieces hadn’t fallen into place, possibly because his mind had immediately been thrown into denial, trying to protect itself and him from the truth. “He was a little shocked to see me, he’d thought I’d simply believed he was dead” Eli felt a pang of guilt as he recalled that brief conversation they’d managed before Travis was freeing him from his chains.

It wasn’t a pleasant thought knowing your brother had thought he’d been given up on and no one was out looking for him. Again Eli thought if only he’d been a better brother and joined the group of Shadowhunters investigating the murders of Nephilim and Downworlders, if he’d gone with Travis he might have been able to prevent all of this...Eli quickly pushed the thought aside, it was no use dwelling on the ‘if only’s’ because he had a whole list of them that seemed never ending. “He was calm though, knew what he was doing when he freed me. I believe he’s fighting the pack mentality. He wouldn’t have wanted to be…” Eli struggled to get the word out, swallowing the ball of anger that welled up in the back of his throat at the thought of Travis being turned, he guessed he was still partly in denial but for how much longer could he deny what his brother had been made into? “Turned.” He managed to get the word out, a little strangled but it was out now although it didn’t have him feeling any better about it.

“If he could have left with me the other night, if it weren’t for Maddox’s influence, he would have.” Eli answered, there was a tiny part of him that held doubt; a pack leaders influence could be stronger then they all thought. “I know he would have.” He said with a little more conviction this time and paused at the end of the street, he could see the park across from them now. Eli knew that Audrina just wanted to make sure there would be no surprises, that Travis would be willing to help them help him escape and not turn on them when they tried.

Once traffic was clear Eli led them across the road and then into the park, as his eyes scanned the area he realised that the few bench seats in the park weren’t available to them as they were currently occupied so he found them a section of unoccupied grass area. The dark haired shadowhunter sat down and stretched his legs out in front of him, his arms behind him to hold himself up by his elbows. He turned his gaze up at the blonde standing beside him and realised he hadn't asked if she minded sitting on the grass rather than one of the benches. “Sorry. I hope the grass is alright.”

[Yunalesca]

She could hear the obvious pain in his voice as he spoke of his brother, how he’d believed the elder of the two had believed he were dead and given up. To feel that way, she couldn’t begin to imagine the hopeless thoughts and maybe a sort of anger Travis would have felt before his brother had come to his, attempted, aid. She wondered for an instant if this would have an effect on the situation, but dismissed it quickly. The fact of the matter was that Eli had come for him and not abandoned him. That couldn’t be used against them now. She felt it safe to assume that Eli was right and that Travis would willingly come with them if they could muster him out from under the alpha’s control. She still hadn’t figured out how they would do that. They had nothing to trade, couldn’t kill the bastard, and couldn’t just remove Travis from his control. She was going to have to become creative in her thought process to figure out how they would achieve this rescue mission and not fail. Failure meant their likely deaths and neither could afford that. I won’t let that happen she thought before she realized they were closing in on the small park. All the while she hadn’t missed how hard it’d been for Eli to even say ‘turned’ and she genuinely felt for him. It’d been heart wrenching to say it to Hodge when she’d first come to the Institute. She hadn’t repeated it since.

As she looked over the park she felt she had made the right decision in choosing to discuss matters here rather than back at the Institute. It wasn’t a place that by any means drowned out the hustle and bustle of New York during mid morning rush hour, but the whisper of tranquility might ease Eli’s mind more than being surrounded by books and, undoubtedly, memories of himself and Audrina arguing in several locations of the old building. She hoped she wouldn’t ruin this spot as well with her temper that rarely stayed in check these days. She just had to remember this was for him so he would be looking the other way when she slipped out from under his nose to her own assured demise. She didn’t want him, or anyone else for that matter, to be there when she went after her mother. It wasn’t their responsibility and she didn’t need their interference. She brushed the thoughts aside and followed after Eli to a little secluded patch of grass away from the Mundane’s currently mingling about the park. She suddenly wished she’d used glamour, but wasn’t particularly in the mood to mark herself.

She was seating herself close by him when he apologized. Out of habit her brow turned up at him as her legs folded up indian style with her back straight as a rod, years of dancing reminding her of her posture. “Please, I grew up on the French countryside, or did you forget that already?” She questioned lightly as she absently pulled a blade of grass and began stripping it one strand at a time, the green sinew-like substance it emitted staining the tips of her fingers. “If it ruins my pants, however, you owe me a new pair.” She commented, but stopped and felt herself flush. Imagining him trying to buy her clothes, judging her size as he looked her over thoughtfully, brought color to her cheeks. Did he think about what she wore underneath, how it would appear through the fabric of the clothing he bought for her? She averted her eyes quickly to get herself back under control before bringing them back to him. Those weren’t the thoughts she should be having. She should be irate at the thought of him undressing her with his eyes, imagining what kind of underwear she wore. It was intimate and sexual, two things she greatly shied away from. She bit the inside of her lip and closed her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again. Control yourself the voice growled to her.

When she finally spoke her voice was a little hoarse and she had to clear her throat midway through a sentence to get it back to normal. “Do you remember if there was a vantage point to sneak in through? I highly doubt we can take them by surprise, but we could attempt it. Maybe we could get out before they even know what’s going on. Did Luke offer any information on them or the pack leader? I don’t know that we have anything to entice him with…” She said, trailing off as she realized she wasn’t being helpful and rather negative. Werewolves generally wanted nothing to do with Shadowhunters and she was mildly confused by why Travis had been turned. Did he know something they didn’t want him to know? Why punish him in this manner when they could have killed him and the Clave be none the wiser? There was more at work here than she felt Eli knew.

“Sorry. I guess I’m not all that used to working with someone, that was inconsiderate for me to say.” She apologized, finding she was doing so more and more. Never had she apologized for her behavior before. Eli was changing her, or bringing out the person who’d been buried deep, rather. She cared about his feelings and was going to lengths to not hurt them even though she knew she would be doing so anyway. She needed to remember how she felt for her sister, how she would feel if she had gone missing and needed rescuing. She visibly stopped herself, eyes narrowing slightly as her gaze dropped while something occurred to her. She quickly brought her eyes back to Eli. “With my sister I could physically feel where she was when I was near. Have you ever felt that with Travis? It could be helpful in finding him when we get there. We won’t be going in so blind then.” She offered rather quickly, skimming over facts about her past in favor of this being about him.

[Serendipity]

He smiled at her upturned brow over his apology about them sitting on the grass instead of a bench and as she reminded him that she’d grown up in the French Countryside where green grass was prominent so she was accustomed to sitting on it. “Right,” He murmured still with a smile on his lips as she took as seat close beside him, Indian style. “It can make people itchy sometimes,” He enlightened as she plucked a blade of grass from the ground and absently began stripping it one strand at a time. Eli was glad now that they had chosen to come to the park and talk instead of going back to the Institute, it was a more relaxing atmosphere and he didn’t feel so pressured when it came to making plans on freeing his brother. This way they could bounce ideas off of each other and slowly form one that would work, rather than rushing through it and coming up with one that would get them both killed. He wanted to get Travis out from under Maddox’s influence as quickly as he could, but jumping straight into a plan that wasn’t thought through properly wasn’t the smartest idea.

Both Audrina and himself weren’t experts on Werewolves and exactly how packs worked; but Eli did know that each pack differed from the next depending on the pack leader, and Maddox’s pack were rogue Were’s that didn’t follow the Clave’s Laws which made them all the more dangerous. Eli was brought out of his train of thought at Audrina’s comment about buying her a new pair of pants if the grass ruined the one’s she was wearing. He saw her flush and became immediately aware of what she might be thinking, if she hadn’t flushed like she was currently he wouldn’t have paid much attention to the hidden meaning behind her comment. His blue eyes grew darkened slightly at the thought of buying Audrina a new pair of pants and what getting the right fit would mean. He’d have to know her size, and if she wouldn’t tell him he’d have to size her up himself which could mean spending a long time ‘looking’ at her slim figure. That would then lead to him wondering about other things like what she wore under her clothes as it was right now.

Thoughts on what type of underwear she wore were not good right now, not if he wanted to discuss plans on rescuing his brother. But still he couldn’t help the silent question run through his mind, cotton, lace or silk?, that he hoped one day would be answered. Eli blinked as Audrina started speaking again, not missing the fact that her voice was a little hoarse, and shoved those inappropriate thoughts of her underwear back far into the recess of his mind. She was asking if he recalled in his time at the meat factory if there might be any vantage points they could use to gain access without being caught. “There’s one that I know of, I came in from under the fence line where they didn’t seem to patrol often. But i’m sure they’ll be keeping a closer eye on it now, and have probably made sure there are no more holes in the fence.” He explained.

“Luke said he was dangerous and callous, he wouldn’t listen to reason and was the type to do what he wanted. I spoke to the pack leader briefly…” Eli reflected and lifted his face skyward absently for a moment before he looked back across at Audrina who was still sitting Indian style, he back as straight as a board. “He has no care for the Accords, ruthless and he probably got some sick pleasure out of getting his pack to beat the crap out of me. Then again I did kill a few of them before we spoke which I can guess he was none too pleased about,” Eli couldn’t help the smirk that came over his lips even if his tone had been serious as he recounted what Maddox had been like. After what the alpha had done to his brother it was what he deserved and more, it was quite possible that half of his pack had been turned unwillingly and Travis hadn’t been the first.

“You don’t have to apologise.” He told her after hearing her apology, she didn’t need to apologise, she was being more than helpful but perhaps she didn’t know it. “Talking this out - negatives and all will help us see the entirety of what we will be up against. It’s not going to be easy, I know that, and being too positive will only make it feel like that when it really isn’t,” He appreciated the help she had offered him, although for her own safety he hadn’t wanted her to be a part of it.

Eli tilted his head to the side curiously as she spoke of the connection she had with her sister, and that she could feel her presence when she near even if she couldn’t see her. He had never thought of having something like that between himself and Travis, if there was it was something he hadn’t paid attention to. “Possibly. When I was at the meat factory I had an overwhelming sense that he was there, but I thought it was just wishful thinking and hoped that he was.” He replied thoughtfully. If he did have that connection with his brother it wasn’t something either of them were aware of, and admittedly over the last few years neither of them had been that close. “I don’t think we can rely on that,” He sighed heavily and in a moment of frustration and guilt because he and his brother weren't as close as they could be he ran his fingers through his dark hair and proceeded to flop onto his back, his hands slipping from his hair to cover his eyes.

“We need Luke’s help, he could get some of his pack to keep an eye on Maddox’s pack and get some idea on their schedule, which ones of them go out during the day and night for work. Find a time when there’s less of them around.” He mumbled and sighed because it was no sure bet that Luke would even help them, he had done enough already.

[Yunalesca]

She furrowed her brows slightly as he stepped forward with having sensed his brother when he went to the factory. He seemed to have some sort of connection similar to hers, but he seemed to not feel the confidence in the ability. With the several years absence of being around his brother she could understand, but she didn’t like that he seemed to give up on the prospect so easily. He’d said it was unreliable and she should just let it lie, but she was unwilling to do so. She could see that Eli was capable and yet unwilling to explore the prospect. She had no hope in connecting with Travis as she didn’t even know the man, but Eli could. She didn’t like the idea of sneaking into this meat factory without knowing where his brother was. It was a recipe for disaster to be searching blind. They’d be captured and she hadn’t the faintest idea of what would happen to them. Rather suddenly she felt a spike of fear drive through her chest as she imagined what exactly could happen. He stated that the alpha had no care for the Accords and so would feel no qualms for forcing himself upon her. She could almost feel his hands running across her skin roughly, his hand at her throat as he forced himself on her. She felt a chill take her and her eyes closed to chase away the thought. It won’t happen, you won’t let it happen her mind said with intent, though it didn’t calm her fears. She could very well get raped on this mission and she wasn’t sure she could handle it. You have to save his brother she reminded herself and opened her eyes, attempting to hide the fear lurking behind them.

She brought her attention back as Eli spoke once more, her voice unable to find itself as she wanted to press that he was capable of connecting with his brother. All she could do was nod as the thoughts of being forced upon by a were tore through her mind. She had never heard of a werewolf doing such a thing to anyone, but if they forcibly turned a Shadowhunter she could only suspect the fate that would lie in wait for her if they were caught. She had to look away as she continued to try and quiet her fears. It wouldn’t happen, she wouldn’t let it happen. She would die before she would ever let some bestial person force themselves on her and take away her dignity. What would you do to free Travis? her mind questioned and she felt her skin break out in goosebumps before she forced herself to look back to Eli. “Luke can spare some of his pack. Intel will be crucial.” She commented as she was still struggling with the thoughts swarming through her mind. What would she give to be able to hand Eli’s brother back to him? Would she give something she had protected for so long so Eli could have his sibling back? She couldn’t fathom doing so, couldn’t stand the hurt she felt in her soul for even contemplating it, but was curious why she was feeling a sort of willingness rising from inside her. What she would seemingly do for his happiness was disturbing to her and a warning to detach herself from him began reverberating anew inside her.

She almost felt herself quiver as she took a breath and suddenly wanted to flee. She had dug herself in too deep and was unable to bring herself free, this was what she feared as she brought her eyes back to Eli. “What about the were hangouts, the bars? Have you tried there? A few still welcome our kind and we might be able to get some information. Most packs will give up a rogue if it threatens the Accords that protect them from us. I want to know as much about this alpha as possible before going in there. I want his weaknesses, his strengths.” She offered, thinking back on her prior thoughts. If his weakness was women could she give herself over to him to free Travis? Was she strong enough for that? She felt a firm no coming up from inside her. She couldn’t even find herself in bed with Eli who seemed to genuinely care for her, how could she do so with someone who would violate her in ways that would merely break her. She would never recover from it and felt that she would kill him before it’d happen. She would find herself rotting in Clave prisons before she would let someone violate her in such a manner. It seemed she would give much in trying to offer Eli happiness enough to distract him, but now something that would tear her soul apart.

“I want you to try expanding your feel of him. There’s been siblings who can sense their other half across a town, even a continent. I don’t like going in there not knowing where he is.” She commented and saw something flash across his eyes. Without thinking she reached out and gently took his hand again after the piece of grass had been strung to its last strand and fell the earth. “Hey, I’ll be there every step of the way. If you can’t sense him we’ll find him regardless. I’m asking a lot of you. Things don’t always go as planned regardless. I wasn’t supposed to get poisoned, but it happened.” She said softly, suddenly wishing she hadn’t said what she had. “We’ll find him and get him out of there. I don’t fail in a cause I’m dedicated to.” She added, looking him square in the eyes as she did so.

[Serendipity]

Eli hadn’t meant to appear as if he’d given up hope or was unwilling to attempt to connect with Travis and if he’d known Audrina was thinking that he had he would have been quick to reassure her that he would try and wasn’t giving up that easy. It was the guilt that kept creeping in which she was probably picking up on and misjudging for hopelessness. He wouldn’t give up on his brother, even if he didn’t have Audrina’s help now he would have figured something out on his own and gone back for him, although his plan would involve killing the alpha and severing the hold he had over Travis and the other members of his pack. If it meant he broke the Law then he would deal with those consequences. Now that someone else was involved though they needed a much better plan then murdering the alpha, something that wouldn’t draw the attention of the Clave to them. He certainly didn’t want Audrina getting in trouble with the Clave just for him, nor did he want her to get hurt, captured or killed for him.

He peeked out through his fingers at the blonde beside him, his hands still covering his eyes, as she asked if he’d thought about trying the local hangouts for Were’s. It was something he mightn’t have thought to try first if Audrina hadn’t mentioned it and it was a good idea. Although he couldn’t focus on what she was saying because there was something behind her gray orbs that struck a cord inside of him and had him shifting onto his side resting on his elbow. She was trying to hide it he could tell, and probably thought she had, but he’d seen it before she could. Fear. She was afraid of something, something that might possibly happen when the time came for them to rescue his brother. He’d never seen that type of fear in someones eyes before, then again he’d never had a female shadowhunter as a hunting partner and they could have different fears then any ordinary male shadowhunter had.

He thought he suspected what it might be and felt sick to his stomach at the possibility of of fear coming true. He’d said Maddox was ruthless and knew it to be true as well as twisted; Eli had seen it in the Were’s eyes and if he was already getting some sick pleasure out of turning people unwillingly into Were’s then there would be other things that he might be capable of doing, unthinkable things. Eli shuddered inwardly as he thought back on his meeting with the alpha and he hadn’t taken much notice at the time, but he didn’t recall seeing any female Were’s amongst his pack and didn’t want to think about why that was. Eli could only manage a nod of agreement as Audrina stated that she wanted to know the pack leaders strengths and weaknesses so they might be able to use them against the man. He wanted so badly to tell her it would be alright, or better still that she shouldn’t come with him to rescue Travis, but couldn’t find the words because how could he know that it would be alright and what could he say to convince her to keep out of it.

The thought of something happening to her - the unthinkable happening to her- sent a flash of worry across his gaze as he looked up at the tough skinned shadowhunter sitting next to him. That feeling of fierce protectiveness towards her came out again and he swore to himself he wouldn’t let anything happen to her, he’d die before it did. Would you abandon Travis if it meant protecting her? A tiny voice asked inside his head making him catch his breath at the idea of having to chose between Audrina and his brother. Travis or Audrina? She might never let you get close to her, she’ll keep pushing you away. But Travis is your brother...your blood. Would you choose her over your own brother? The voice probed again when he didn’t answer it straight away. Yes. He made up his mind suddenly and his heart constricted tightly at the painful decision. Eli hoped it wouldn’t come to that, prayed it wouldn’t. What would Travis think if he knew? What would Audrina think of him if she knew he would give up his own brother for her.

Eli turned his gaze down to the grass unable to look at her as guilt raked through him and he thought he might literally be sick from it. He was barely listening to her as she informed him that she wanted him to try expanding his feel for Travis so they weren’t going in not knowing exactly where he was. He only looked up at Audrina again when he felt her hand covering and curling gently around his, he knew she was trying to comfort him by her reassurance that she would be there every step of the way with him in this mission but he didn’t feel comforted, all he felt was guilt. “You’re not asking too much of me, Audrina.” He swallowed back the dryness in his throat and hoped his eyes didn’t tell her too much of what he’d been thinking. “I’m asking too much of you, pushing too much.” He whispered and wondered how much of that was about the rescue mission for his brother and how much of it was his pursuit of her affections and wanting to get to know her.

He shook his head and dropped his gaze taking in a small breath before he pushed himself off of his elbow. Without thinking he shifted closer to her and pulled his hand free from hers, and with the back of his hand he gently brushed her cheek, tracing a line from the top of her cheekbone to the tip of her jaw. “I need you to know this, even if you don’t like it.” He said softly and his blue eyes caught her gray ones, he could see the hesitation in them, she wanted to pull away from his touch but something was preventing her. He would have smiled if he wasn’t so full of guilt and a need to assure her that he would protect her at all costs, if he smiled she wouldn’t take him seriously. “I will not let anything happen to you. I will protect you with my life.” She needed to know this whether she liked it or not and if meant that she pushed him completely out because she thought he was getting to close to her and focus solely on their mission -no more breakfasts together, talks in the park. He could live with that because he would hate for her to think that he didn’t care about her own safety, and all he was thinking about was getting his brother back

[Yunalesca]

There was something there hiding just behind his eyes that she couldn’t quite define when he finally looked at her before saying anything. She wondered what it was, almost began to worry he’d seen the fear she felt when thinking of what the alpha might do to her. She didn’t want to talk to him about it. There wasn’t anybody she wanted to talk about it with, but him most of all she wanted to avoid the conversation with. There’s was something growing, its seed planted when he’d stayed at her side those four days, or maybe even before that. Talking with him about her possibly being raped while trying to rescue his brother would defile every memory she had of them together, memories of them being hospitable towards eachother. As much as she hated to admit it, she liked those memories and didn’t want to lose them. More importantly she felt he would try banning her from assisting him if they did talk about it. He couldn’t rescue Travis on his own and she couldn’t let him try. She would just have to hope he hadn’t seen the look in her eyes moments ago.

It was when he fully found his voice that she was taken aback. He acknowledged for the first time that he had been pushing her, been pressing back against her walls to try and force them down. Somewhere along the way he had succeeded and inched his way into her core. He may not know much about her, but he seemed to care and she was feeling the same for him. She wanted to say something, anything, but couldn’t figure out what. He seemed to not want a reply as he let go of her hand and sat up before moving closer to her. She could feel his body heat and felt herself stop breathing for a moment. Her eyes dropped to his lips quickly as she imagined that was what he came closer for, her heart hammering as her mind was pleading for him to do it and for him to back away at the same time. She brought her gaze back up as she saw his hand coming up out of the corner of her eye. As he gently brushed the back of his hand across her face her breath caught even before he started to speak. She felt everything inside her say to pull away, to stop him, but she couldn’t. She was like a deer in the headlights that was full of indecision. She had a want for more from him and a voice reminding her this was wrong. His words made her heart pound harder, feeling like it would come out of her chest. She felt herself grow warm and flush slightly at the increased blood flow. Don’t say it… the voice inside her begged of him before he opened his mouth to speak again.

What he said instantly made her feel a panic. I will protect you with my life his voice echoed in her head and she felt a roar in her ears as though she were to faint. He hadn’t said it in the words she expected, but he had admitted to feeling for her in his own way. He was promising her something he never should. She couldn’t even manage to find her voice to hiss at him in the words that formed at the back of her mind. Much of her was elated to hear it until she remembered she couldn’t let herself fall into this. She had something she needed to do that would cost her life. He couldn’t protect her from that. “No. I’m not worth that.” Was all she managed to say in the faintest of voices, almost inaudible behind the sounds of Brooklyn echoing around them. She couldn’t do this, couldn’t keep leading him on like this. He was promising protection to her when he should be worrying about his brother.

“Don’t make this about me. Your brother needs the protection, not me. I’ve done well enough on my own and will continue to do so. His life is more important than my own. I don’t need your promises.” She managed before she was standing, averting her gaze so he couldn’t see how much it’d actually hurt her to say that. She couldn’t have him trying to protect her and his brother. It was impossible and she didn’t need him to be watching over her. She was helping him so he would be doing the opposite. So he wouldn’t see her when she went to face her own destiny so to speak. He was trying to save her from herself and didn’t seem to acknowledge that she was already gone. “We should go back before anyone gets suspicious.” She said in a flat tone, her walls marching into place as she refused to make eye contact with him. They couldn’t afford to be operating in the manner he clearly wanted, in a manner she had even thought about. To have that kind of care for someone was dangerous and made it easier to get killed. They could be used against each other and nobody would come out the winner. Too many risks with too few rewards. This was what she tried convincing herself even though she felt the rewards would be worth it.

She didn't wait for him to fully rise and take point, instead she dusted off any grass that may have stuck to her clothing before starting across the small park toward the Institute. They couldn't work together like this and she didn't know how to avoid it. They would be in close proximity for some time until they fully figured out how to bring his brother out alive. Now that feelings seemed to be getting involved she feared how this could all end. She had to keep her walls in place. No more little fact sharing moments, no more private time together, no more reaching out for him. She had to restrain herself and her impulses if they were going to survive this. She -had- to survive this. So you can live to die another day, the voice mocked and her footfalls came down harder as though it would help clear her mind.

[Serendipity]

He’d known it was coming, the pushing away part that she did so well but it still felt like a well aimed slap in the face, it reverberated through his being reminding him that he had brought this on himself. Hodge had said her walls were a defense mechanism to protect herself from getting to close to people, so her feelings wouldn’t distract her from her true mission in life - slaying the vampire queen. Even though he told himself all of those things it still hurt and he could almost physically feel her walls go up, tossing him out. Eli pulled back from Audrina as she stood up, his hand dropping from her cheek, the contact between them lost. You’re worth it to me, he felt like telling her, shouting it so loud that there was no possibility she could ignore it. But he only sighed, his hands curling into fists around some grass before he yanked it out, roots and all. It was the only sign of frustration he showed before he composed himself and pushed himself up so he was standing.

Audrina was already walking away announcing that they should head back to the Institute before the others got suspicious. There would be no more talking about anything other than making plans to rescue Travis, no more sharing small parts of themselves and no more touching however brief or reassuring it might be. In his own way he had told her how he felt about her, although he suspected she was already aware of his feelings but he didn’t worry over that and he didn’t regret what he’d said. He had meant it and would keep the promise of protecting her though he wouldn’t speak of it again.

Eli didn’t bother brushing the grass off of himself as he stalked after the blonde, he could catch up with her easily if he wanted, but he made sure he kept a few steps behind her as they made their way back to the Institute. From now on he had a feeling they would be making plans within the buildings walls, no more adventures out unless it were to one of the Werewolf hangouts Audrina had mentioned earlier. At least, he told himself, he would be able to concentrate more on his brother which is what he should be doing and wanted to.

Once they were back at the Institute and he’d followed Audrina inside, Eli turned to her momentarily, “Let’s take a break. I’ll contact Luke, see if he can suggest a few Were hangouts and ask if he can spare some of his pack to help.” He said before turned and walked away down the hallway back towards his room. He wasn’t angry, a little annoyed perhaps, but a break after this morning’s events was necessary.

[Yunalesca]

They hadn’t said a word to eachother as she led them back to the Institute and she was grateful for it, as well as the distance he put between them. She had looked away before seeing the hurt in his eyes at her actions of throwing up walls in his face, but she still knew how her tongue could bite. She wanted to take it back and return to how they had just been, but his promises of protecting her with his life had jolted her out of the fantasy. He wasn’t the one that was supposed to die. She wasn’t supposed to be valued more than his family, his brother that he had looked for for so long. He had to know how wrong that was and that she couldn’t ever allow them to be more than this, whatever –this- was. She suddenly felt herself recalling the dream she’d had of him, how she’d gently kissed her way up his neck and eventually taking his mouth. How delicate it had felt, how –real- it’d felt. She felt a pain at the memory in knowing it would never be true. He’d worked hard at getting through her walls, had won a kiss from her, had held her close and been entwined with her in a cuddling manner, but it would end now. She found the break she’d been trying to make from him, but now they would have to awkwardly work together. He would profess his feelings for her and she would leave them unrequited. This time she had to make sure she didn’t return his affections. It was for his own good and more importantly her own good as well. She’d get him killed if he continued to make promises to her that he never should.

It was after she closed the door to the Institute that the silence was finally broken. Her arms crossed over her chest and she turned her face away from him as he faced her, still fearing her walls weren’t strong enough to keep out what she was feeling. He couldn’t see the heartache she felt in telling him off or he would still have hope. He couldn’t have hope for her. “Sounds good.” Was all she said as she nodded absently and didn’t turn her head back to him until his back was to her. She stared after him and couldn’t help but feel a pain in her chest at the thought of him walking away for good. Maybe it’ll be too late by the time you let me in she heard Eli’s voice in her head and a new pain came over her. It was how it should be. He should take his brother and leave without her. She never should have gotten so involved in the first place. Contact should’ve ended the night she’d dumped him on the floor. She shouldn’t have let him kiss her that day in the training room. She shouldn’t have done a lot of things and she couldn’t take them back. Oddly enough she didn’t want to take them back. Each moment had been special and new for her. What she felt now was new to her. Never had she watched someone walk away and feel a bit of heartbreak at it, for that is what she felt. She had allowed herself to get attached and had managed to hurt her feelings all on her own. Maybe she should’ve been building walls to keep herself out as well as others.

When his form had receded enough she started forward to her own room, keeping a slow pace so their paths wouldn’t cross. Her head was down as she walked up the stairs to the rest of the Institute and all she could feel was guilt along with a foreign pain at what had occurred in the park. She’d never cared about hurting someones feelings until now and she knew in some fashion she had hurt Eli’s. Because her head was down she almost ran right over the form of Alec, patiently waiting for her just outside her door. She brought her eyes up and felt a rage glimmer through them. He said nothing as she stood there staring at him, waiting for some apology she would never accept. He surprised her, however. “I can see every crack in that armor you hold so dearly about yourself. You haven’t felt pain yet. You think you have, but it’ll only get worse.” He said flatly to her, carefully gauging her facial expression as it darkened. She averted her gaze momentarily but then brought it back to him.

“You won’t have to worry about it. I’ve taken the measures to make sure that won’t happen.” Was all she said before she was pushing through her door and closing it softly behind her. She had wanted nothing more than to rip his head off at first, but after he spoke she felt nothing but sadness. She’d heard it so clearly in his voice and it’d seeped into her soul. She hated being pitied, but it felt as though the Shadowhunter did feel it for her. He of all knew the most about heartbreak and unrequited adoration. He had warned her before and she hadn’t heeded it. She should be doing so now. With a heavy sigh she fell to her bed and closed her eyes. She couldn’t afford to lose anyone again. She couldn’t afford to let him in enough to feel that loss if he left her. You won’t be alive long enough for that the voice whispered, but she felt it was already too late. He’d found a home inside her somewhere and she couldn’t toss it out.