i never asked to be saved [r], mortal instruments - Seren

[Serendipity]

It was hard to walk away from her, it was always hard to walk away from her and the more time they spent together the harder it became for Eli. He knew it wasn’t like he wouldn’t see her again, they were staying under the same roof and had agreed to work together to get his brother back, but it almost felt like it was. The Audrina he had been with this morning with her teasing smile and friendly gaze was gone again replaced by the thick skinned narrow eyed Audrina whose only focus was talking plans with him and nothing else. It was his own doing he reminded himself, he’d shown her too much of his feelings by telling her he’d protect her with his life and she’d shied straight back behind her walls.

He still felt that pang of guilt over knowing that he would save her first over his brother if anything went wrong with their rescue mission, and angry at himself because try as he might he wasn’t able to convince himself to change his mind. It’s not going to come to that choice, he told himself firmly, he wouldn’t let it. This meant that their planning had to be precise to the point of perfect; there couldn’t be any rushing into anything, no impulse decisions. He would have to keep his emotions in check, be a shadowhunter not a brother or a…lover, boyfriend? You’re nothing to her, a voice mocked in his head. Eli settled on ‘friend’ even if what he and Audrina had or could have was much more than just friends. Shadowhunters were warriors and he’d have to think like a warrior and cut off his human emotions.

Eli made it to his room bypassing Alec who waited outside of Audrina’s room with only a dark look. He hadn’t spoken to the brunette shadowhunter since he’d found him with a broken nose in this very same hallway and he didn’t feel like talking to him now. Alec obviously felt the same way because he didn’t say anything as Eli walked by. His door shut quietly behind him and he immediately tore off his hoodie, he’d always been a little more warm blooded than others and the thick cotton material felt like it was cooking him on the inside. He’d put the extra layer on for Audrina’s sake, an attempt to be humorous because of the amount of times she had caught him without a shirt on, to prove to her that he could wear shirts.

Eli balled the hoodie between his hands and tossed it to the side as he walked over to his bed and sank down onto the mattress. He saw his phone sitting on the table beside the bed and snatched it up in his hands, punching in a set of numbers before he put the phone to his ear. He’d told Audrina he would talk to Luke, and that’s what he would do.

“It’s Elijah, I need to talk to you if you’re not too busy. We could go get a drink?” He spoke quickly to the male on the other end of the phone, throwing in the suggestion of a drink as an after thought and because it might take the edge off of some of the guilt he was feeling.

---

Luke picked Eli up from outside the Institute a few hours later since he was the one with the truck and Eli hadn’t felt like walking halfway across the city to meet him at the bar the other male had suggested they go. Because they were working together Eli had felt it wise to let Audrina know what he was up to so he left a note for her under her bedroom door. A note was easier than talking to her face to face, seeing that hardness come back to her expression when she looked at him, instead of the softness of her gaze like he had over breakfast. He mentioned in his note that he was going out with Luke so that they could talk and make some decisions about how far he wanted to be involved with Travis’s rescue.

The Hunter’s Moon was a decent enough looking bar as bars went; there was still that smell of stale beer and cigarette smoke that had seeped into the walls and floors and couldn’t be washed out and the lights weren’t all that bright casting some of the bar in shadow where the dim yellow light didn’t reach. It was definitely not a shadowhunters favorite choice of bar, filled with burly werewolves and the occasional shady looking character covered in tattoos and Eli got the feeling that the only reason he would have been allowed in such a bar was because he had walked in with Luke, an alpha.

They found their way to the counter and took a seat on a stool each; Eli ignored the stares, glares and sneers he received from the majority of the Downworlders occupying the bar because if he wanted their help he couldn’t go around starting fights with them which might happen if he sneered back. Luke ordered them both a beer but they sat in a tense silence sipping their drinks until Eli broke that silence halfway through his drink and told Luke that he was planning to go back for his brother. Luke didn’t seem all that surprised, it was almost as if he’d been expecting it and they got to talking.

[Yunalesca]

A chill ran through her as something brushed her neck, the feeling send ice through her blood as she wheeled around to see what it was. At her confusion and slight fear a laugh came from the shadows, youthful and filled with an evil type of mirth. “Who’s there?” She felt herself whisper and got another laugh from behind her. She turned about once more, gray eyes searching the shadows for something she knew she wouldn’t be able to see. She stood in the center of a cobblestone room, not remembering how she’d got there or why she was alone. The air was cold and held a hint of dampness, like she was in a cellar or somewhere deep underground. A single light was shining from above her and she couldn’t be sure where it came from. It was keeping her from seeing the owner of the laugh that seemed to taunt her. “What do you want?” She hissed, hands reaching for a weapon to find there were none on her person. Her stele was missing as well.

“Silly questions. You know all the answers.” The voice whispered in her ear and she whirled about again to find nobody beside her. She didn’t know the answers, she wouldn’t ask if she did! And yet she couldn’t seem to find her voice to say this to the shadows as she spun around nervously searching for whatever it was that taunted her. Through the evil laughter she knew she somehow recognized the voice and yet she couldn’t place it. “You know.” The voice whispered in her ear again and yet nothing was there. She wanted to scream for the voice to stop as she could already feel the panic rising up from inside her. She was alone and defenseless without a slight clue as to where she was. And she was being taunted by something she couldn’t see, but only hear. Was she going mad? Had she done something to be locked away in the prisons by the Clave and left to her own insanity? It seemed the only plausible explanation and yet it still didn’t feel right. The prisons weren’t like this. She wasn’t shackled and could see no metal bars showing she was locked in the cell they would surely throw her in. Where was she?

“With me, my dear.” The voice came again, only this time something was wrapping their cold arms around her body, pulling her into a stony body that was cooing in her ear. “Shhh, you’re safe now, love. I’ve come to bring you home.” The voice whispered before one hand released her and brushed against the nape of her neck, sending a shiver throughout her body. Something was dreadfully wrong. All she could think was to flee far and fast and yet she was held firmly in this spot. “Who are you?” Audrina asked the figure who had yet to say it or fully show itself. Another small laugh before she could feel cold breath on her ear. “Your mother.” The voice whispered and the blonde felt herself quiver. “It’s time, darling. Come back to us. You don’t need to cling to this world of mortality anymore. If it’s him you want I can bring him to you. You can be together forever. It’s just one…small…bite….” The voice sighed before a white hot pain shot through her shoulder and neck, making her crumple into the arms of her mother as her teeth ravaged Audrina’s unmarked flesh.

Audrina bolted out of sleep then, nearly falling off her bed as she gasped for air and her hand flew to her neck to feel her skin still intact. Her nightmare’s had never been so vivid. They had been progressively getting stronger and she couldn’t fathom why. She had stopped hunting for her mother days ago, distracted with this mission with Eli, and yet the vampire still permeated her mind. She heard herself whimper into her hands and thought she would start crying before forcing herself out of the bed and to the bathroom to wash her face. She hadn’t even remembered falling asleep. She had lain down for a second when she felt a headache coming on and had apparently passed out. She brought her face out of the water and looked at the reflection, her pupils severely dilated and her complexion paler than usual. She almost looked dead and the thought of it made her recoil. She wasn’t and never would be one of them, the Night Children. She took a deep breath to calm her racing heart before exiting the bathroom and grabbing a blazer to cover her freezing torso. She felt like the life had been drained out of her and a new panic began setting in. She had to get out of her room, she had to breathe.

She hadn’t the faintest idea of where it was she wanted to go as she crossed the length of the Institute with long strides. She just had to get away, run from her nightmare as it seemed to be attached to her and sucking the life from her body. “Audrina.” She heard and whirled with her hand firmly holding a blade inside her jacket, the fear radiating through her and making her paranoid. It was Clary starting down the stairs toward her and she felt her hand relax on the hilt of the weapon. “Did you see Luke today? I haven’t been able to get ahold of him. The hospital called about my mom.” The girl stated somewhat frantically and the blonde felt a glimmer of remorse spiking through the fear.

“He’s probably with Eli. He said something about talking to Luke today. I’ve gotta go.” She said and started turning away, but felt the girls hand grab her wrist. “Are you okay? Your hand is freezing. Is the poison getting worse?!” The girl asked Audrina and she turned her eyes toward her, feeling the fear radiating through them. “Poisons gone, I just need to…go.” Was all she said as she pulled away from the girl and quickly exited the Institute.

[Serendipity]

“I’ll help you, Elijah, only because Maddox’s pack is rogue and they give a bad name to the rest of us. I do not condone what he’s done to your brother. It’s one thing to be Turned on accident -even a Shadowhunter- but it’s quite another for it to be done out of ones sadistic pleasure.” Luke stated after Eli had finished explaining that he was going back to get his brother out of Maddox’s grasp. Luke had seemed surprised though that he wasn’t including Clary and Jace, or even Alec and Isabelle; although there was a look of relief in Luke’s eyes that Eli hadn’t missed and he’d known the Downworlder was glad Clary wouldn’t be involved. Eli also reluctantly informed the older male that Audrina had offered her assistance with his task and received an upturned brow in response. “You don’t want her helping? I’ve only met her briefly and I don’t know what her relationship is with the others or what she’s doing in New York but she had seemed to distance herself from the rest of them.” Luke offered his observation quietly and studied Eli closely for his reaction.

Eli didn’t say anything straight away, only tilted his drink to his lips and took a long swallow, he was trying to come off unconcerned and not let his feelings show. Luke’s upturned brow only seemed to stretch; almost off his face, clearly he wasn’t buying Eli’s act and the young shadowhunter sighed heavily settling the bottle onto the counter between his hands. “No. I don’t want her to get hurt, and she might. I’d worry about her every second we were in Maddox’s territory. I’m not sure if I could focus on getting my brother out safely with her there, but I do need her help. I can’t do it alone.” Eli explained and a mirthless grin came to his lips, “I tried that and look what happened to me,”

“I think I know how you feel…” Luke said and a distant look came into his eyes as though he were recalling something from his past before a slow smile spread across his lips. “There’s probably nothing I can say that will reassure you, only that if you let the worry eat at you, you’ll be putting all your lives in danger. You’ll have to focus on what’s important - getting everyone out alive. There’s a rune for that.” The Downworlder pointed out as he took another sip from his beer. “And you’ve got myself and my pack to back you up if things get really hairy.”

“It’s a lot to ask of you and your pack, thank you. What we need right now is intel, can you spare one or two of your pack members to keep watch on the meat factory, find out there ins and outs?” Eli asked. “Sure, I’ll get them on to it tonight.” Luke nodded and gestured to Eli’s half empty bottle. “Another?” He asked and ordered two more beers as Eli grinned, what could one more hurt?

---

“Where is she?” Eli demanded of Jace whose room he’d gone to straight after discovering Audrina wasn’t in hers. Two beers had turned into three, then six and he’d wondered if he had a problem but had decided in the end it was only stress induced. He wanted to talk to Audrina and told himself it was to discuss what he and Luke had at the Hunter’s Moon, but in reality it was because he’d wanted to talk more about what had happened in the park. She had told him she wasn’t worth risking his life over, and he wanted to tell her just how wrong she was, she was worth risking everything. He wasn’t plastered but the drinks he’d had blurred the line of not pushing her to open up to him and demanding to know if she even returned an ounce of what he was feeling for her.

So it was probably a good thing that she hadn’t been in her room when he’d come knocking, but he’d gotten the sense that she wasn’t even in the Institute which was why he was bothering Jace now. “Vampire hunt?” Jace had suggested groggily which had indicated that Eli had woken him from his slumber. “She’s been out of action for over a week, she’s probably been hanging to stake some of the bloodsuckers.”

Eli, frustrated that Jace had been no help, turned and left the boy standing in his doorway. He heard Jace’s door slamming and suspected he might get an earful from the boy the next morning for waking him up. Eli headed back to his own room since there was no point searching the Institute for the blonde and he wasn’t up for going back out again. He crawled into bed after removing his boots and jacket and pulled the covers over his head. He was asleep within moments, the alcohol taking over, but it was a restless sleep as it was most nights for him...except when Audrina was there, those few times he’d slept the best he’d ever had in years.

[Yunalesca]

Running was something she had become good at and when she couldn’t shake the feeling from her gut, the undeniable fear striking through her from the feel of teeth sinking into her neck, she’d employed her abilities. She knew she couldn’t really run from it, yet she tried anyway. Her bike took her far from the limits of Brooklyn to territory she had never seen before. For a while she wasn’t even sure if she was still in New York, not paying attention to borders as she crossed them and let the engine roar in her ears to cover up the whispers that taunted her. In the end it was Eli’s voice that stopped her, making her skid to a halt before she crossed out of New York and into Maryland. The sun was descending as she let the motor die and she stared out over the sunset as it kissed the skyline of New York, the lights beginning to illuminate the populous. How far would she have to run before the taunting disappeared, until the nightmares subsided and let her sleep? Forever a voice whispered and she felt her grip on the handlebars tighten as though she were to attempt to put more distance between the city and herself. I’ll protect you with my life his voice echoed anew and she closed her eyes in pain. What would he do if she ran and never returned? He would lose his brother forever and probably get killed trying to recover him. She was abandoning him and herself in leaving. She felt the stinging in her eyes at the thought, the shame she felt for herself making the tears want to come down. She was better than this. It was time to stop running. Taking a breath she turned the engine back over and wheeled around, spraying dirt against the Welcome to Maryland sign and making for Brooklyn once more.

*

She remembered that moment as she sat at a bar over a day later, her thoughts having been mostly consumed with what she had just done a few hours ago. She hadn’t slept since she’d made it back to Brooklyn sometime in the middle of the night and began asking around for someone who might be able to help her. It had taken little time to actually hear whispers of the one she sought, someone who wasn’t opposed to helping Shadowhunters if they could pay the price. She had thought little of the trade when she’d made it, the two items she needed being handed over to her after she’d given payment, but now she was bothered. ”What would a witch want with Shadowhunter blood?” she heard her voice questioning in her mind as the memory resurfaced. She could still see the curve of the rather pretty woman’s smile take over her features and something almost recognizable struck her. Red flags were sounding off in her mind the moment the request had been made, but it seemed such a small sacrifice for something to help Eli. ”You needn’t worry about that, Audrina. It is a fair trade.” the witch said and raised her brows expectantly. The way in which she’d said her name had sent chills across her skin, another sign that something was wrong. And yet she got what she needed and felt no ill effects.

Her attention perked when the one she’d been waiting for entered the bar with a small entourage, his hand brushing through his long brown hair and looking around as though searching for new prey. His eyes found hers as she held her half drank beer in her hand, pointedly staring at him. He watched her for a moment before dispatching his two comrades to the bar and moved to the pool tables. She slipped some money on the bar for her tab before sliding from the stool and slowly making for him. He was well aware of her as he began racking up the balls for a game, but ignoring her to see what she would do. “You down for a little competition?” She asked lightly from across the table, keeping her voice neutral. She was playing a very dangerous game and didn’t want to tempt someone twice her size into something she wanted no part of. The male continued to shuffle the balls quietly before bringing his eyes up to hers. She could see the flash of werewolf eyes take him over as he scanned her before they faded into a normal brown. “If you think you can keep up…Nephilim.” He said the last word almost curiously before turning away and grabbing a cue. She resisted the urge to reach into her blazer and grab hold of the draught she’d traded for.

It was near the end of the game before she had a chance to slip the draught into one of his drinks, his comrades finally turning their attention away and to a few other weres that had come into the bar. With effort, a lot of it, she allowed the male she now knew to be named Jarek to win the game. Men generally didn’t respond well to losing a game of pool to a girl, especially a Downworlder to a Shadowhunter. Once he gained the final shot in the pocket, she noticed the draught taking effect. She had little time to get him out of there and to a secluded place to thoroughly question him. This was when she made her play and let him think she wanted him, something the thoroughly disgusted her, but it was the only way to get him separated from the others of his pack. As his lips found her neck she felt herself stiffen and fear take hold, but she managed to stifle it and help him stagger out the door. Her demeanor changed almost immediately, the draught so effective it was better than him being inebriated from alcohol. “What’d…you…do to me.” He managed to hiss before she shoved him down a cellar she had cleared earlier for this exact purpose. She glanced around to see if his comrades had followed and upon not seeing them, she descended the stairs.

*

The questioning took little time as the true nature of the draught took effect and made him tell her what she wanted to know. Every question had an answer and she was thankful she had planned them out carefully as the draught seemed to be wearing off after only ten minutes of questioning, likely unable to keep its hold due to the virus that ran through him making him a werewolf. As he seemed to be understanding what was happening she hit him hard across the face with a two by four and sufficiently knocked him unconscious. With her heart pounding she ran up the stairs, knowing his pack would soon be searching for him. She poked her head out of the cellar first, looking around frantically to see if they were around. She spotted them a good distance down the alley calling for Jarek. She could either stay and hide, most likely being found, or she could run. She chose the latter and cautiously exited the cellar, slowly making her way down the opposite end of the alley. It was when a call rang out that she began running. “Nephilim!” She heard one of them curse and she pumped her legs harder, hearing their clothing shred as one of them took to wolf form. I’m dead, I’m dead she kept panting in her mind before her path was cut off by a fence.

Without a thought she jumped she began climbing the fence. She thought herself free until a scorching pain shot through her calf and she cried out, trying to hold onto the chain links as one of the weres tried pulling her free. She looked down in fear to see a set of clawed hands digging into her muscle tissue, blood spraying as his nails hooked in and continued to pull. I will not die this way she screamed in her mind before pulling with all her strength. She began to free herself of the were, sobbing the whole way as his nails sliced through her skin and muscle, his hold on her not loosening as she pulled away. With one great final effort she rolled herself over the fence and hit the pavement hard, almost blacking out as her head knocked against a wall of a building. Run her mind screamed and she obeyed, fighting through the pain that seared through her.

*

She didn’t know when she finally lost the werewolves, only knowing they were far enough away for her to fall against a building wall. Her leg had grown numb a long time ago and she feared the worst as she finally opened her eyes and pulled back the wet pantleg to look at the wound. Her eyes were glassy as her hand pressed lightly against the wound, feeling it hot to the touch and warm blood still seeping. Her finger ran across one of the claw marks and she winced, whimpering as she felt how deep her finger could go into the wound. She would survive, that was the important thing. With a sigh she fell asleep and didn’t wake until the sun was hitting her in the face, warming her and making her aware that it was midday. She groggily opened her eyes anew and uncrumpled herself from against the building wall in the alley she’d fallen asleep in.

She managed to find her bike after some time, careful to look for any werewolves that may still be searching for her. Jarek wouldn’t remember a thing other than he’d played pool and probably drank too much. She’d made sure the draught had been engineered that way. She nearly fell over her bike as she tried mounting it and pulling it off the stand. Her leg throbbed in pain, but it had finally stopped bleeding. Her pants were ruined, the bottom of her left leg completely shredded and blood soaked. This crap was starting to get expensive. Luckily it hadn’t been her favorite pair of pants.

Everything whizzed by her in a blur as she started back for the Institute, having not even fully thought of where to go once the engine started and she pulled away from the quiet bar. She’d been gone for two days, or was it three? She couldn’t remember now, only knowing she hadn’t had real sleep in two days and was injured. Alec is going to flip she thought and smirked, though there was little humor in the situation. She could have died, easily should have in her daring attempt to question one of the pack that held Travis captive. It’d been stupid, but she’d gotten what she wanted. She whimpered as she parked her bike just inside the Institute gate and started slowly for the doors, limping slightly and looking like a zombie with dark circles under her eyes and her clothing all disheveled and dirty. Her hair was windblown and not in a good way. When she got inside the doors she sighed and leaned against a pedestal of stone beside the doorway, resting her head on her arms and closing her eyes as blood began to trickle from her leg and pool slowly at her feet, the wound re-opened. “Audrina. You came back!” She heard Isabelle’s voice and barely lifted her head to look at her.

“What the hell happened?!” She questioned, stalking toward the Shadowhunter with purpose and draping her sweater over the girls shoulders as though it would help. It was when she noticed the trace amounts of blood beneath Audrina’s shoes that she gasped. “Audrina…”

“Werewolves…are nasty when they don’t get their way.” She commented dryly before the girl was forcibly taking the blonde by the arm and draping it over her shoulder. “Come on, you’re bleeding all over the place. Look at your pants.” She said and the Shadowhunter smirked slightly as she limped along beside the brunette. She would notice her pants being a wreck.

[Serendipity]

It was nearing on three whole days that Audrina had been gone from the Institute and nobody seemed to know where she'd gone. Jace had implied that she disappeared often but she always came back; Eli was aware that Audrina came and went as she pleased, she had told him as much the morning she'd disappeared but it wasn't much of a comfort. They were supposed to be working together to get his brother free, where would she go for three days in the middle of it all? You pushed her too far, a small voice mocked in his head. Had he pushed her too far this time? Proclaiming that he wouldn't let anything happen to her and promising he would protect her with his life - had that been too much? Probably. He had no way of contacting her and her bike was gone which meant she might not even be in New York anymore. He felt sick at the idea of never seeing her again.

He'd tried to distract himself from her departure by speaking with Luke every afternoon about the intel his pack was getting on the rogue pack and training with Jace every evening just to wear himself out so he could sleep. Eli was torn between staying and rescuing his brother as soon as he could and going after Audrina wherever she may be. So far his brother had won out, but only barely because he had no idea even where to start looking for the blonde. He just hoped she wasn't being reckless and putting herself in unnecessary danger because she was angry at him. But as each new day came and went and Audrina still hadn't come back, he was the one growing angry, angry at himself for pushing her too much, angry at the whole situation with his brother and even a little angry at Audrina for taking off without even a goodbye.

Eli had to consider the possibility that she wasn't coming back and had started to make separate plans to go in after his brother on his own. I thought you didn't want her involved anyway? Now she's not, you can focus on Travis, he had reasoned with himself but it hadn't helped. Knowing she wasn't involved was one thing, but knowing she wasn't going to be around afterwards was quite another. He might never see her again and it hurt knowing that, he could feel his heart break a little more each day. His mind kept trying to tell him it was for the best, all her pushing away would ruin him, but in his heart he knew it was better to fight and keep fighting for love then just giving up on it the moment something didn't go the way you'd hoped.

When the time was right Luke's pack was going to get a message to Travis for him to let him know he was coming back for him and to be prepared. It was a dangerous idea to go back alone for Travis and help him either kill or force Maddox to take the hold off of his brother so he could be free. Eli had Luke's pack to back him up but there was only so much they were willing to do, they were more of a diversion then anything. But what ever help they offered he was grateful for since they didn't need to help at all.

Eli had just stepped out if the training room, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and the grey singlet he wore with loose fitting pants clung to his chest. He was planning on going back to his room for a shower and to change before he immersed himself in the maps Luke had his pack draw up for him, a layout of the meat factory. He'd studied that map last night to the wee hours of the morning before he'd dragged himself off to bed for another restless sleep. As he turned from the door he caught site of two figures passing the other end of the hall and glimpsed a flash of blonde hair, not gold blonde like Jaces, but a lighter blonde like..Audrina. Eli jogged down the hall to try and catch up with them and realised they were headed for the infirmary. His heart seized in his chest a moment before it began hammering hard against his rib cage.

Audrina and Isabelle, he guessed, had already disappeared inside the infirmary when Eli reached the door. Something held him back this time from bursting through to see if Audrina was alright. Isabelle wasn't yelling for the others help which could be classed as a good sign, whatever injuries Audrina had they weren't life threatening. Instead of entering the room he moved to lean his back against the wall beside the door listening to the muffled voices from inside. He was still too raw with hurt and anger that she had simply left without a word, if he went in there now he would only make matters worse between them. So he closed his eyes, leant his head against the wall and waited for Isabelle to come so he could speak with her first.

"Is she alright?" Eli asked quietly peeking through his lashes at Isabelle when she finally emerged from the infirmary.

[Yunalesca]

"You spent three days worrying everyone sick just to piss off some werewolves? I don't see how that was very worthy of your time." Isabelle chastised as she lowered the blonde to one of the infirmary beds and she winced slightly as her leg hit the metal frame. She hadn't come back to get lectured and almost rolled her eyes. She didn't have the strength to argue with the brunette. She hadn't slept in three days, her clothes were a mess of dirt and who knew what else had stuck to them when she'd fallen over the fence. They were thoroughly ruined and she had actually liked the lacey blue top under her blazer. Maybe it was salvageable, she thought before she heard Isabelle rifling through one of the drawers for medical supplies. She just wanted a shower and some sleep, but it seemed the Shadowhunter wasn’t going to let her do it and Audrina wasn’t up to arguing with the girl.

“Worrying everyone, huh?” She questioned before the brunette was rolling back the slick pantleg, soaked with blood and tattered into several strips from were claws. The girl merely rolled her eyes before she turned Audrina’s leg and began wiping away the blood, not being very delicate about it. The blonde hissed through clenched teeth each time the girl wiped away blood and applied a healing salve to the wound, knowing she wasn’t about to accept a rune that would make this all the easier. She heard herself whimper slightly as the bandage was tightly applied and clasped closed around her leg. “I’ll be back with some food and water. I’m sure you haven’t eaten for shit either.” The girl started and Audrina smirked slightly in her growing delirium. Nothing about this was funny, but after losing blood and not sleeping for days she found several things funny she normally wouldn’t. She rolled to her side, back facing the doors of the infirmary and sighed, slowly closing her eyes for some sleep. Almost absently in the middle of her yawn she remembered what she’d gotten for Eli, the precious cargo still tucked in her soiled blazer that now hung on the end of the bed to be discarded later. “If you see…Eli…Tell him I have something…for him.” She sighed as she felt herself falling asleep.

*

Isabelle had figured the Shadowhunter would be at the door when she exited and so she didn’t jump as he stood there looking dark and broody. She had to separate him from Jace, she couldn’t handle all these moody males much longer. She sighed and made a face slightly as she noticed she hadn’t washed all of Audrina’s blood from her hands. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned to him, ponytail whipping around as she did so. “Aside from being loopier than a Loon I would say so. She hasn’t slept in three days I would guess. Probably hasn’t eaten either. Not to mention she’s damn lucky she didn’t get bit or we’d have a nasty werewolf on our hands in there.” She stated before turning away from him and starting down the hall for the kitchen to get her something to eat. She stopped after she put a few feet of distance from him, remembering what Audrina had said. She half turned back to him.

“She said she had something for you. You can go in if you like.” She said before turning back away and starting down the hall anew. That was another mess she didn’t want to get involved in. She’d seen how Clary and Jace had unfolded and didn’t want to be in the middle of this trainwreck. It was beyond obvious to anyone who watched him how he felt about the girl, but she wasn’t so sure on how Audrina felt. She had a feeling the girl had been fleeing from him when she left originally, though she couldn’t know for certain and would never ask her outright. She shook her head at herself as she pushed her way into the kitchen. She shouldn’t even be thinking about it. She had enough problems of her own without getting dragged into that fiasco. Not a single one of them would take her advice anyway, and she wasn’t necessarily a matchmaker either. “What in the world would she eat willingly?” She mused aloud to herself as she stared at the pots and pans. She knew better, the last time she’d tried frying anything it had clouded the kitchen with smoke. Shaking her head she pulled out a menu of a local restaurant and skimmed through for something the girl might like as well as making considerations for everyone else. She could just see the offended look in their eyes if she didn’t order for them along with Audrina. “Boys.” She hissed under her breath before pulling out her cell phone and placing an order. That should give the two of them enough time to sort it out, though she found that unlikely. They were both ungodly stubborn and she refused to acknowledge his feelings. “I’m not getting in the middle.” She repeated aloud to herself before she heard someone pick up on the other line.

[Serendipity]

He wasn't quite sure why he was feeling so reluctant to go into the infirmary to check on Audrina himself; he was angry he supposed, angry that she had just up and left without a word and now was back with injuries acquired from who knows what and from being so reckless. He too was known to be reckless, jumping into things head on without thinking them through or without care if he got hurt. It never gave him a good feeling, arguing with the blonde and if he went in there now to talk to her that's surely what they'd end up doing.

As Isabelle came back out and he asked her how Audrina was he spoke calmly even though his insides were twisting with anxiousness. Even as Isabelle informed him that Audrina was fine aside from being 'loopier than a Loon' as Isabelle put it, it didn't help his unease. Eli's eyes widened as Isabelle mentioned that it was lucky Audrina hadn't been bit because she'd make one angry werewolf. He couldn't believe Audrina had been in a scuffle with a Were, and he suspected, with one of Maddox's pack members. His concern turned to a light fury at the stupidity of her confronting one of them on her own. Isabelle was already walking down the hall away from him as his hand moved to the door handle, but he paused as he heard her speak up again.

Audrina had something for him? What it was he couldn't guess but whatever it was he didn't believe it was worth her confronting a rogue Were for. He also didn't believe that the reason she had been missing for near on three days had anything to do with gaining information they might need, at least not initially. She'd run, his mind was set that that had been on her agenda, to run away from him because she couldn't deal with knowing how he felt about her and maybe even how she felt about him. She had every intention to never come back -- he didn't know how he knew this, just a feeling he had-- and yet she was right there, on the otherside of the door, she had come back. He should have been overjoyed that she was back, yet he still felt angry that she had left without a word in the first place.

With a quick intake of air into his lungs he turned the door handle and stepped into the infirmary and there she was. She had her back to him, stretched out on her side on the bed, her clothes looked dirty and tattered like she'd had a rough time over the last few days. His anger distilled a bit at the sight of her but his hands curled at his side as he walked over and around the other side of the bed so he could see her face. Her eyes were closed and he exhaled softly, taking a seat on the edge of the bed next to the one she was sleeping on. Eli watched her intently as she slept, not wanting to wake her straight away, studying the soft lines of her face, the bridge of her nose, her cheekbones, the contour of her mouth and felt his heart flutter at the memory of those lips on his.

He didn't know how long he'd been watching her sleep for when her eyes started to open and he was pulled back into focus. He blinked a couple of times before folding his arms over his chest, trying for a hard disapproving look instead of reverence. "Isabelle said you had something for me?" Eli questioned after she'd had time to adjust to her surroundings and saw him sitting across from her. There was no 'hello' or 'how are you' like there usually was from him, for some reason those words were hard to say and it was easier just to get to the point giving her nothing to push him away with.

[Yunalesca]

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sleeping until she sensed someone watching her from nearby. The scene from her visit to the witch had been playing on loop on her eyelids, as though to warn her something had gone wrong. She didn’t feel any different and she couldn’t see why a little blood would hurt her in any way. But why, why would she want your blood? the question probed until she groggily opened her eyes, their appearance glassy and rather spacy as she set her gaze on Eli sitting rather rigid in front of her. She took a breath and resisted the discontented sigh that wanted to come from her. She’d seen this posture from him before and it always meant they were in for a fight, but today she wasn’t in the mood nor did she have the strength for it. And she usually enjoyed a good argument, especially with him. She noted how he didn’t ask of her welfare, instead just inquired about what it was she had for him. She wanted to say something witty and smart, but her mind wouldn’t work for her in that manner.

A small groan escaped her as she forced herself to sit up and roll back on her rump to not appear so prone and helpless. She hissed lightly as her calf scraped against the bed as she pulled herself up to a seated position, having forgot about the injury. Everything told her to just suck it up and take a rune, but she was stubborn and didn’t want any more marks than the ones currently across her body. Alec had already forced one on her some weeks ago and she wasn’t in the mood to have another. She’d just tough it out and let it heal on its own. She was part angel, it shouldn’t take as long as it would take a human to heal. “I do. It was a bit of luck to get it actually.” She said with a slight edge as she started to wake up and some of her prior demeanor returned to her. She was still too groggy to be putting up much of a front, however.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye then. “Don’t look at me like that. If you hadn’t slept for three days and been running from were’s you’d look the same. It’s in my blazer.” She commented, cutting him off to be interested in the object before he could start in on her messing with werewolves to begin with. She knew he wanted to say it. Isabelle had wanted to tear into her as well, but she was sure she’d hear that one later when she was looking better. It was hard to chastise someone who looked like they’d been living in a gutter for a few days, which she pretty much had. Except for the whole sleeping bit, she hadn’t had any of that other than when she’d had the reprieve as the were’s lost interest. She wondered if Jarek remembered anything or if the potion had worked as it was supposed to. Witches were tricky and could easily tell a miniscule lie for their own enjoyment. She felt if he had remembered, however, he’d had been on her trail and she would’ve never made it to the Institute. They could’ve had her when she’d passed out and she’d be none the wiser.

“Right pocket.” She sighed as Eli moved toward the soiled jacket hanging on the end of the bed. She mildly wondered if this piece of magic would even work in their hands, but she had been assured and was too tired to be arguing the matter at the moment. When she’d been given the polished white stone she’d almost laughed at the witch. What the hell would she do with something like that? But then the woman had explained it to her. ”Just prick your finger and let the blood soak into the stone. It will point you in the direction then.” “How will it know?” “Familial blood ties are strong, Shadowhunter. Didn’t you know?” she’d said and Audrina felt a slight chill coming over her at the memory. Something about that last statement made her uneasy as well. Like she’d been hinting at something so blatantly obvious about the situation and yet she wasn’t in on it. What had she missed? She sighed and thumped her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, shifting her leg up to relieve the pressure on her calf. She wasn’t even sure Eli would believe her.

[Serendipity]

He was bristling just under the surface; Eli so badly wanted to yell at the blonde shadowhunter as she rolled over so she could sit up, the only thing that stopped him was the fact that he could see the discomfort in her expression at the movement and though her tone held a slight edge to it, it wasn’t as piercing as usual because clearly she was exhausted. He guessed that she hadn’t used an iratze to heal herself either which only seemed to irk him more but he managed to clench his jaw to stop the tongue-lashing he wanted to deal out to her for her thoughtlessness and lack of care for her own well being. It was an effort to hold back his displeasure about her sudden disappearance and finding out she had confronted werewolves, but it was also an effort to hold back the relief he felt over her return and the concern over her injuries. She needed to know he was angry; for what she had put him through in the last few days, not knowing if he would ever see her again and if it was because she just didn’t care for him at all. Torn between looking for her or working towards getting his brother free. Thinking the worst had happened to her and that was the reason why she hadn’t returned, was she lying dead somewhere in a ditch?

Although he still couldn’t help some of the concern he felt and it must have showed on his expression as she stubbornly told him not to look at her. At the mention of her running from Were’s his jaw tightened and if he wasn’t careful he would break a tooth. Eli wiped whatever concern was showing on his face and replaced it with a hard look before his head turned and his eyes narrowed on her blazer hanging on the end of the bed; it looked just as tattered as Audrina did and whatever had been so important that she get for him was apparently in one its pockets. Eli unfolded his arms from his chest and leaned forwards so he could reach into a pocket and take out the item, moving his fingers to the right pocket at Audrina’s directions and slipped his fingers inside. His fingers curled around something smooth and hard and it could have easily have been a rock or stone.

He’d guessed right, when he pulled the item out he was holding a polished white stone in his hand, letting it settle into the middle of his open palm as he sat back and shot a dark look her way. “You were gone three days and risked your life for this - it’s a stone! By the Angel Audrina what the hell were you thinking!” He exploded unable to keep contained any longer, venting some of his exasperation. He glared down at the white stone in his hand and curled his fingers around it angrily as if he were about to throw it, and for a moment he thought about doing just that. But a felt something from the stone, a slight buzzing warmth; as a shadowhunter, albeit not all the time, it was easy to sense things that held power and he realized the stone was no ordinary stone.

His hand shot open as if the stone had burned him, but he continued to let it sit in the middle of his palm, studying it with some curiosity. “What…” He asked quietly as he slowly lifted his gaze back over to the blonde, “did you give up for this?” He thought he felt his voice shake a little, and hoped that if it had she hadn’t noticed. A bout of fresh uneasiness came over him, afraid that she had given up too much for whatever this stone was and hoped -for her sake- that she hadn’t bargained too much away for him. To help you with your brother, a tiny voice reminded him, but it didn’t quell the ailing feeling in his gut.

“Who did you bargain with? A witch, warlock - please don’t tell me it was fearies…”

[Yunalesca]

She watched him closely as his hand reached into her pocket and closed around the precious stone she still wasn't sure if she'd bargained too much for it. It still didn't feel right, there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind and she couldn't understand what it was trying to tell her. What would she want with your blood? the question came again before Eli seemed to explode. She brought her eyes up to his and turned a dark expression on him. He didn't know what she'd done to get it, that she'd turned around from her flight to help him. She had been running and found she couldn't just abandon him after promising to help him with his brother. She should've never made the promise but she had and she would follow through.

She sat straighter and started to open her mouth to yell back at him, to give the item a chance, that she'd sacrificed for it, when his palm flew open again and he was staring at the stone, flabbergasted. She hasn't expected any sort of response to alert him of the magic within. The witch had said it responded with blood, not mere touch. Her eyes softened slightly as she wondered what he had felt. At his question her brows furrowed and her eyes dropped. Don't tell him the truth the voice warned. "Something I have plenty of. You don't have to repay it." She said softly before finally bringing her eyes up again. She didn't want him to repay her. She just wanted him to find his brother and gain some sort of happiness again. She should be concerned with her own problems, but his were the forefront of her mind. He seemingly mattered more than what she'd come to Brooklyn to do, and that was frightening.

She took a breath and let another look cross her face, one of dissaproval. "I'm smarter than that. It was a low level witch, nothing to be concerned with. If you'd quit pestering I'd tell you about it." She said the last bit with a hint of bite, trying to keep him from continuing to ask questions. She didn't want him to know more than he needed to know. Details would only make him madder a d she still wasn't even sure the price she had paid for the items from the witch. It'd seemed simple enough at the time, but she was growing more concerned with every minute. Her mind was trying to tell her something and she just couldn't seem to be able to hear it.

"You done? Good." She commented and pulled herself a little higher in the bed to appear a little more confident. "That will help you locate your brother in the factory. I've never used one, but I'm confident it will work. When we're inside, prick your finger and run your blood over the stone. It'll seek out one who shares your blood, in your case, Travis. A kind of homing beacon. You're welcome." She said the last part almost sarcastically as she looked away. She'd also gained Intel through the were Jarek, but didn't want to discuss that currently.

[Serendipity]

So the stone was no ordinary stone, although he had no idea what it was supposed to do, but whatever that was it, however it helped him with Travis, he still didn’t feel like it was worth the price Audrina might have had to pay to get it, even as she reassured him that she bargained with something she had plenty of. His brows furrowed as he wondered what it was that she had given up to get this stone, but his eyes darkened as she thought he was more worried about repaying her back for the item. Eli shook his head as he glanced back down at the stone resting in his palm; he could yell at her some more, it might have made him feel better, but it was pointless really because what’s done was done. His anger at her for running away was slowly dissipating as his mind settled around the fact that she had come back, come back with an item that she believed could help him get his brother back. A promise is a promise, his thoughts mocked. Whether it was the promise she had made to him that had brought her back or because of something else, she was back and holding onto his frustration wouldn’t do either of them any good.

How easily she could drain away his irritation and she didn’t even know it, then again now that he looked back on their time together he hadn’t ever been able to stay angry at her for long, a day, a few hours at the most. Though this time it was mere minutes and it was already slipping away, replacing itself with relief that she was safe and gratification that she had come back. Eli pursed his lips at the disapproving look she gave him and the bite in her words, before he sighed heavily and nodded for her to tell him about the stone. He was just glad she hadn’t bargained with a faerie for the stone, although a low-level witch could still do some damage if she’d tricked Audrina into anything.

“Not really,” He muttered under his breath as she asked if he were done with all his questions, but if she heard it or not she didn’t let it show as she went into a spiel about what the stone could be used for and how. He was slightly taken aback as she explained that it was a stone that could help locate those who shared the same blood as the holder, and the smallest of frowns tugged at his lips but didn’t fully form. He wasn’t sure if he should be grateful for her getting this stone that would help him locate Travis or offended because maybe she didn’t believe that he would be able to find Travis on his own. Although he had been fairly doubtful that the sibling connection she had spoken of having with her sister was the same for he and Travis, he didn’t think it would work. “I didn’t thank you yet,” Eli reminded her when she told him he was welcome for her help.

“I’m not sure if I should, it would be condoning what you did to get this,” He held the stone up between his fingers before curling it back into his palm. “I know you didn’t leave just to get the stone for me…” He proclaimed softly, keeping his gaze directly on hers, “thank you, for coming back.” Eli finished, holding her gaze a little longer, so she knew he wasn’t just thanking her for the stone, before he rose to his feet. He wasn’t about to thank her for going off on her own, bargaining with a witch or confronting a werewolf because he wished she hadn’t done those things.

“You need some rest and I need a shower. We can talk later after we’ve both eaten. I might not be so cross with you then.” He said remembering he was still in his training clothes and although the sweat had dried on his skin he still felt it damp in his hair and singlet.

[Yunalesca]

The muscles in her jaw tightened when he spoke, her ability to feel the discontent wafting off him making her irritated and uneasy. She couldnt understand why he was refusing to thank her for what she'd given him. He'd been complaining of how he didn't think he had the bond she,d had with her sister and wouldn't be able to locate his brother easily when they got in. She solved the issue and he wasn't going to thank her. She wanted to yell at him, scream out about the risks she'd taken for him, but she held back. She didn't want him to know and she knew why he was disgruntled. He cares. You worried him the voice whispered and she nearly shied away from it. Those words he'd promised surfaced again and she lowered her gaze.

Her gaze shot back up and she stopped breathing when he spoke again. She had thought she'd been sly, that her first intent had been under the radar, but he wasn't stupid. He knew why she'd run and her eyes almost glittered with sadness before he was thanking her. And it wasn't particularly for the stone she'd brought him. Her jaw slackened as though she were to say something, but the words couldn't come. What she felt, that momentary connection between them left her floored. In that moment she felt her heart swell and it wasn't entirely unpleasant. She remembered to breathe and closed her mouth, eyelashes fluttering nervously as she didn't know what to say. I came back for you a tiny voice whispered in her mind, but she didn't say it.

The moment passed when he spoke again and she averted her gaze as he walked away, suddenly feeling ashamed and not liking it. Nobody had ever made her feel that way and it was a foreign feeling. She wasn't ashamed of what she did and yet he made her feel that way because of his demeanor. She didn't say anything as he walked away as she didn't know what to say. She had been angry and he'd capsized it quickly. He irritated her, made her ripe with rage, and yet she couldn't stay angry with him. He still got to her even when she'd tried to run, when she had reestablished walls. As the door closed she sighed and slumped down in the bed and wanted to ignore what she was feeling. Guilt, shame, a want to make him happy. All things she had never felt having to do with anyone or anything but what'd happened with her family. How had she got in this mess?

*

Isabelle came for her a little over an hour later, dropping a set of crutches on the bed waking her from her sleep. "What in the blue hell are you doing?" Audrina snapped as she jolted from sleep and glared at the metal objects. "They're Alec's from when he was hurt. They were good enough for him, they're good enough for you. Unless you'd take a..."

"No way." She cut her off and grabbed the crutches as she started sliding off the bed. "I don't smell the place up in flames so you must've ordered in." She commented as she planted the crutches underneath her and lifted off the bed. She needed a shower and a change of clothes before she'd even think of eating and Isabelle seemed to note this as she led the girl to her room like some protective mother. "I can shower myself I assure you." She commented to the Shadowhunter who gave the blonde a face before taking up post outside her door. The shower took shorter than the unwinding of the bandages, her fear of falling asleep under the warm spray. She donned a simple white sweater and leather pants after re-wrapping her ankle. When she got out her door Isabelle was waiting to walk her to the dining area.

When she stepped in she noticed nobody was around. "What's this about?" She questioned and Isabelle merely grinned. "Privacy. Have fun!" She squeeled before closing the door. "Isabelle!" She hissed before sighing and taking a seat. Privacy to be yelled at was more like it.

[Serendipity]

It was absurd to think that she had come back solely for him and not because she didn’t want to renege on the promise she had made to help him free his brother; he was the one she’d been running from because of his ever growing feelings for her that were becoming harder and harder to keep to himself and she could see it. If only he hadn’t let that he had feelings for her show she wouldn’t have run in a moment of panic. There was more to it than just that, he knew, things in her past that she was running from that might have gotten too much for her; it wasn’t just about him, he should feel a little better about knowing that, but he didn’t. She was back now, and he was glad for it and for the fact that the injuries she had sustained hadn’t been life threatening.

Eli reflected on all of this whilst under the warm spray of the shower washing away the morning’s training session and some of his annoyance he’d felt towards the blonde shadowhunter who always thought she had to go it alone in everything she did. It wasn’t weakness on her part to ask for help, although he knew sometimes it could feel like it, and he shouldn’t be too hard on her. After all he had infiltrated Maddox’s pack on his own without asking for assistance from the others, it was hypocritical of him to preach to Audrina to ask for help, that no one would think any less of her, when he had also been known not to.

With a soft sigh Eli lifted his face to the spray one last time before he turned the water off and stepped out of the cubicle, reaching for his towel so he could dry himself off. He toweled his hair and then his arms, chest and legs as he moved to exit the bathroom. Eli jerked to a halt as he opened the door and went to step out; Isabelle was sitting on the edge of his bed, her legs crossed at the knees, her gaze roaming appreciatively over his torso and further down. The dark haired shadowhunter quickly bought the towel in front of his lower half and scowled at the girl sitting on his bed. He tried not to smirk at her disappointed pout as he wrapped the towel around his waist. “You could give a guy some warning you know,” He accused lightly.

“I knocked. It’s not my fault you don’t lock your door,” She responded dryly and uncrossed her legs so she could stand up. “You should think about doing that in the future,” She pointed out and smirked a moment before she took a breath and got to the point of why she was in his room as Eli, still standing in the bathroom doorway, gave her a stern look. “We’re having dinner in the dining room tonight,” She explained, “I’ve ordered out, it’ll be here soon enough.” And Eli wondered why she had to take a breath before telling him that, and also why it couldn’t wait until after he was dressed. She didn’t see the roll of his eyes though as she was already turning to leave, pausing just before she reached the door to turn back towards him.

“Oh and when I say ‘we’, I mean you and Audrina. I know how you’ve been pining for her return, so now you can make the most of it,” Isabelle gave him a wicked short of grin and opened the door darting out before he had a chance to rebuke her statement and must of caught his ‘I do not pine!’ because he could hear laughter tingle from her lips down the hall.

---

Eli had dressed in his nicer pair of dark jeans and black button shirt, rolling it up to his elbows; subconsciously he had picked these items out and put them on, he’d even combed his hair. It was it’s usual mess now though as he made his way towards the dining room once he’d realised how stupid it was to ‘dress up’, this was by no means a date -set up or not- and quite frankly he looked ridiculous with combed hair; as well as running his fingers through his hair to mess it up, he’d also untucked his shirt from his jeans. He hesitated just a moment before he opened the door to the dining room which had oddly been shut, and then stepped through quietly shutting it behind him.

His eyes landed on Audrina almost instantly and despite his earlier irritation with her he felt a smile pull at his lips. He noticed the crutches sitting against the chair beside her and his smile faltered a little a reminder that she had been injured and he hadn’t even asked her if she were alright. Eli took his gaze from her crutches and directed it to the food laid out on the table and where his plate at been set straight across from hers. “How are you feeling?” He asked, sincerely and not just to rub her injury in her face, and took a seat across from her.

[Yunalesca]

She hadn't been sitting alone very long when she heard the door creak open slowly. She removed her hand from her hair and sat straighter, her short hair slightly ruffled as her eyes shot to the door. After Isabelle had left and closed the door behind her the blonde had contemplated leaving, not really wanting to withstand another lecture or argument at this point in the day when she was still rather tired. She had however managed to bring herself to the table and dropped into a chair with a heavy sigh after setting her crutches against the chair beside her. She only hoped the healing process would be speedier when she got some sleep at last and she wouldn't need the ridiculous things another day. She'd been bandaged and braced too often lately and didn't like what the others might be thinking about her because of it. That in itself was almost concerning considering she had never cared a whit what anyone thought of her until recently. She knew it had all to do with the man stepping into the dining room now.

She felt herself hold her breath as she looked at him, his clothes crisp and clean, his hair ruffled in a way that made her want to run her fingers through it. She quickly lowered her gaze to the table and nervously clasped her hands in her lap under the table from his sight. She remembered to breathe by the time he spoke and was taking a seat across from her where Isabelle had set his plate. Her heart raced even as she continually told herself it would just be dinner, possibly they'd discuss the plan around his brother and that would be it. And even so the setting felt intimate despite the carry-out food arrayed before them. She didn't need the candles to feel the point of the whole set up. Isabelle, and clearly Jace at least, wanted them to get over themselves and try something that Audrina had sworn she would never do. She brought her eyes slowly back up to him and could feel the first tingles of warmth run through her by simply taking in his presence. She should stop lying to herself and admit a large part of the reason she had come back was him, even though he had largely been the one she had been running from. She could say it was because she'd made a promise, but it was more then that. She took a breath and wrung one of her fingers sharply with her hand to make herself get a grip.

"Better after a shower. You look...better than the last time I saw you." She said quietly, barely able to find her voice and wondering what was wrong with her. She hadn't seen him in three days and thought in that time she may have broken the bond, the obvious attraction in her soul, but that wasn't the case. Seeing him now in dress casual clothing sitting across from her made it all come back and hit her hard in the chest. Why, how even, could she run from him? Maybe if things had been different in her youth, if she hadn't learned to shy from affection so much she would never dream of trying to walk away from him. She might embrace him, she might reach across the table now and take his hand. The thought made her think back on the morning at the diner a few days ago and how she hadn't been able to pull her hand from his when the waitress had come back. It had felt right to be touching him and to be learning little things about him. She hadn't felt as afraid as she normally would in that time they'd spent at the diner. She could feel the current set up being rather reminiscent and mildly feared what could happen if she allowed it. I can't allow anything. she thought even knowing that a part of her wanted to.

"Are you still cross with me?" She asked rather suddenly, forcing her eyes to stay with his as she did so. It wasn't a question she'd had interest in asking and yet she did. She didn't like the things he'd made her feel when he'd spoken to her in the infirmary. It was all gut wrenching to her to feel that he was somehow disappointed in her, that she should feel shame and guilt for what she did. Her parents hadn't even been able to make her feel that way and it was a sign that things weren't as she tried to convince herself. She valued his opinion and wanted him to think highly of her. She was hoping his anger at her from earlier had gone away and that he hadn't thrown out the stone she'd traded for him. She remembered then that she had also gained some important intel on the werewolves and their lair, but didn't want to be discussing that now. She knew he would be asking eventually how she had been hurt and what she'd done, but didn't want to bring it up.

She couldn't help but keep thinking he wouldn't be happy if he ever learned what she'd given for the seeking stone and the drug she'd fed to the werewolf. It was only blood, that was what she kept telling herself, and yet that nagging feeling hadn't gone away. Everything about that situation seemed off and she couldn't pinpoint why. Was it because of how easy it'd been to trade for powerful magic? Was it due to the fact that the witch didn't have to think long on what she wanted in trade for the items? It was how she'd spoke as well. Like she knew something and tried to almost tell Audrina something, but didn't come right out with it. Witches could be tricksters and often their customers didn't know what the price they'd paid for something until much later when it bit them in the ass. The witch had placed a warning in there somewhere and she had been oblivious to it.

[Serendipity]

Lately, every time he saw her, his heart would do a little flutter in his chest before it felt as if it had dropped into the pit his stomach twisting on its way down; nerves weren’t something Eli was particularly used to, at least not where a female was involved. It had done so just now as he turned and his gaze landed on her. It didn’t matter if he’d seen her three days ago or only moments before, the nerves would get to him and he felt he could never say the right things to her. The right words never came when he wanted them to, instead he’d say something he thought was witty or dip it in sarcasm, or worse...he’d say bold, shameless things in an attempt to hide the nervousness she brought out in him. Their breakfast at the diner had been different however, easy, he hadn’t been trying to hide anything from her. The moment he said the right thing, or what he thought would be the right thing to say, to sooth her worries, he’d been sorely mistaken.

And then she’d run, missing for near on three days. Her disappearance had filled him with panic, concern and a type of agony he had never felt before, one that he’d feared would never go away as long as Audrina were gone. Maybe he had been pining for her return after all, Eli thought now, Isabelle had pointed out as much. When she’d come back he’d felt relieved, but then the hurt at the possibility of her leaving had been because of him had set in and all he’d been able to do was reprimand her and tell her she shouldn’t have bargained with a witch for him. He hadn’t told her how much he’d missed her, how much he’d worried for her safety and that she wouldn’t come back, and how angry at himself he’d been for being the one to push her too far that she’d felt the need to escape. Even now he wanted to tell her those things, but couldn’t, the moment was gone and he wondered if there had ever been a ‘right’ moment before or now.

Her answer pulled him from his thoughts, and he realised he’d been staring at her and quickly moved his gaze up and down the table laid out with food and...candles, pretending to take interest in them. Isabelle had obviously put a great deal of thought into this little ‘set-up’ of hers, despite the plastic containers she’d laid out the Institute’s best cutlery, napkins and had even polished the silver candelabras. Perhaps if his relationship with Audrina wasn’t so fragile, especially at the moment, he wouldn’t have felt so awkward about the whole romantic atmosphere Isabelle had been trying for. Eli sat down in the place set out for him, across from Audrina, and sat back against the chair as his gaze returned to hers. She was looking at him too, he realized, though there was something unreadable behind those gray eyes of hers. “It’s amazing what a shower and a change of clothes can do,” Eli replied simply with a small shrug, hoping to come of nonchalant so she wouldn’t guess that he’d put in more effort than usual with his clothes without even realising he’d been doing it; he was relieved now that he’d run his fingers through his hair to mess it.

As Audrina asked, despite her better judgement he gathered, if he was still cross with her he didn’t answer straight away. A part of him, a small part now, was still cross that she’d bargained with a witch and faced down a werewolf on her own. His expression softened and slowly he shook his head, deciding that he wasn’t cross with her anymore. “No.” He said softly. “Funny thing is...I can’t seem to stay mad at you for very long.” Eli sighed. It wasn’t something he probably should be telling her considering she might think she could do anything and he wouldn’t be able to stay angry at her for very long.

“Where did you go?” He asked curiously, he knew asking her why she had left was out of the question and she’d probably just tell him it was to get the locating stone for him so he’d changed his question to come off as one of mild curiosity instead. The food in front of him sat untouched, it was still in its containers so it would keep warm, and he was more interested in the woman across from him then in eating anyway.

[Yunalesca]

She had been holding her breath until he answered, not even noticing that she had until she released it with a soft exhale of relief. She shouldn’t care what he felt about her, if he was angry, but she did. She had used to get a sort of enjoyment out of arguing with him but things had become different. She wanted to avoid the things that would make them angry with one another. It was the sign of her feelings toward him and she didn’t shrink from it like she usually did. She was stepping closer to embracing it and knew how dangerous that was. Regardless, she let it go for the moment. He wasn’t mad at her now and there was no reason to make him so. She had enjoyed their relaxed time together at the diner and wanted a taste of it again despite how Isabelle had tried to make this dinner out to be.

It was the second half of his statement that made her drop her eyes and feel a twinge of heat coming to her cheeks. She found she could barely stay angry with him either, though she wouldn’t say it. The internal struggle to create distance but pull him closer continued to wage inside her and this time the distance won out. She didn’t need to tell him about it, he could probably see it on her face if he looked hard enough. She let her hair fall over her cheeks in an attempt to hide the coloring until it faded with the come of his next question. She felt herself take in a breath and slowly let it go. She didn’t know what to say. Should she tell the truth and let him in, let him know just how far she’d run before turning back? Or did she lie and let him rest easier? She knew how most felt about lies and knew it’d be a bad idea if he ever found out. He’d be even angrier with her if she lied.

She took another breath and sighed, pulling the sleeves of her sweater down nervously over her fingers under the table before raising one hand to brush the hair from her eyes and forced herself to look at him. She wanted him to see she was telling him the honest truth even though it sent her ever closer to that teetering edge that could get the both of them burned. “I was at the border before I came back. I didn’t know where I was going, just that I needed to clear my head.” She started as she remembered the other more dominating reason she had fled so suddenly. The dream; her mother’s teeth sinking into her neck and her cold hands holding her firmly against her body. She almost shivered, but managed to stifle the telltale sign that something was wrong. She didn’t want him to know about her dreams. She didn’t want him to know how haunted she felt when she slept. She took a breath and started again, being careful about the details she would share with him. He didn’t need to know everything, just that she wasn’t lying and he got the gist of the situation.

“It took me almost a day to actually find the witch who made the stone. I persuaded her to trade for that and a truth seeking draught. I left and found a bar I knew werewolves frequent, slipped a little into one of your friends’ drinks and questioned him. Then I came back. I hadn’t slept since I left and barely made it on the bike. Which reminds me I should probably go clean that thing.” She said the last part absently, remembering there was likely a good spray of blood across it from her bloody pantleg whipping in the wind as she rode the bike back to the Institute. She hoped blood didn’t rust away chrome, she wasn’t eager to be taking her baby into the shop to be worked on. She’d figure out how to replace it herself if it came down to it.

Almost as though she were dismissing the issue altogether, clearly have avoided the topic of how she’d gotten injured, she lifted the lids off the food and smelled the warm chicken gravy first before even opening the potatoes. She’d ordered comfort food, as Americans would say. Nothing fancy, but things that would make a person relax. She was a sly creature in how she’d arranged this dinner with Eli. She almost sighed reluctantly before spooning food onto her plate in the form of mashed potatoes and gravy, some sort of alfredo garlic chicken, and green bean casserole. She hadn’t the faintest idea of where she’d mustered the food up from and didn’t believe she’d ask. She didn’t want a chance for the girl to pry into details of the dinner. “Did you learn anything more while I was gone?” She asked Eli, attempting to take the heat off her so they wouldn’t talk about the Were slashes down her leg and why she’d been a mess when she’d come in that afternoon. She knew it was eating at him, the want to know those details, and she also knew he would press hard for them. This was, unfortunately, not something he would just let go. She didn’t doubt that Isabelle had probably said something along the lines of her having been lucky she wasn’t infected with the virus. He wouldn’t forget something like that no matter how much she wished it.

[Serendipity]

Of course she wouldn’t tell him the true reason why she had left, only that she’d needed to clear her head and in doing so she’d happened to reach the border before she’d turned around. Eli could see that she was trying to tell him the truth without revealing too much of the real reasons for her sudden departure and decided that he would just have to be content with what she was telling him. He had a small idea of why she might have needed to ‘clear her head’, he was already aware that she was prone to having bad dreams and perhaps they’d become too much for her, that combined with the promise he’d made to protect her with his life might not have helped.

He managed to keep quiet and not interrupt her as she explained that it had taken her a day to find the witch who would give her the stone, his gaze did narrow slightly at the mention of a truth seeking draught a moment before he wiped the look from his features. Eli listened intently to the rest of what she was saying, folding his arms in front of him on the table, still not touching the food. It was difficult to hold back the slight prick of disapproval and frustration that she had put herself in a dangerous situation with a werewolf, but he did. He didn’t need to ask her how she’d gotten her injured ankle, it was easy to guess that she may have been discovered drugging the werewolf by his friends and had most likely made a run for it but not before one of them had managed to get his claws into her.

“I hope you got what you needed from him, for all the trouble you went through,” Eli commented, he suspected she would have because she wouldn’t have gone through all of that to come out of it empty handed. He chuckled a little at the mention of her bike, reminding him of how much she loved that thing and some of the tension he’d felt building whilst she relayed her tale eased from his shoulders. Clearly she didn’t want to talk about her injury however, that was evident with the mention of cleaning her bike, and he didn’t push the subject.

Eli was reminded that there was food on the table when Audrina began to open the containers and the smell reached his nose, he was hungry and he supposed there was no point in letting it all go cold. He waited for Audrina to fill her plate before he did the same for his, potatoes and gravy, chicken and some green bean casserole. He was cutting into his chicken when he heard Audrina ask if he had learned anything new while she was away. “A few things,” He nodded and tasted some of his meal as he recalled what he had learned in the last three days. “Luke is willing to help, he’s already had a few members of his pack keeping an eye on the place,” He said after he swallowed.

“And they’re going to get a message to Travis so he knows we’ll be coming for him and to be prepared. So far, from what Luke’s pack members have told me, Travis has never stepped foot out of the meat factory, he doesn’t hunt with them and only a few of the pack remain behind on those nights. It would be a good opportunity to strike then, but pointless too, since Maddox wouldn’t be there,” Eli explained, trying to keep some of the irritation from his voice. They needed Maddox there when the time came to rescue Travis because he was the only one who could release his brother.

“It looks like we might have to go in when the majority of the pack is around, unless by some miracle things change. Luke seems to think there might be another opportunity if we’re just patient it might come up.” Eli sighed, he didn’t like the thought of going in there with an entire pack of Were’s around and he was sure Audrina wouldn’t either. “Luke’s going to use some of his pack members -those who are willing only- as a distraction so we can get inside the fences without being seen. He’ll also have some of them on standby to come in if things go terribly wrong,”

Eli ate some more in silence after he’d relayed that information, letting it all sink in for the blonde. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing at all. Eli was discovering that Were’s were a more tight knit group then any Downworlders, even rogue packs. “What did you get out of that Were you gave the truth seeking draught to?” He asked, remembering that she had mentioned the draught and giving it to the Were but hadn’t said what information she’d gotten out of it.

[Yunalesca]

She was grateful when Eli chose to answer her question instead of press her for more details on what'd happened during the three days she'd been gone. She could have easily been killed by either the witch or the werewolves she had toyed with. The thought had never crossed her mind when she'd gone into either situation. All she'd been thinking about was getting Eli's brother back to him and her judgement had been clouded. She couldn't say she could blame it on him, however. She had always been a bit wreckless. She'd gone into a lair with expectations of slaying a coven of vampires on her own. She made stupid decisions without really thinking all the time and would have had no one to blame but herself were she killed. She had no one to blame but herself for her injury and so expected no pity for it. She cut the chicken down into small pieces and began eating while Eli talked, though her attention was still mostly on him. Her fork paused in air and she looked at him as he spoke of Luke. "A dangerous game. A war could start if they help us." She said simply, though she was aware they would need them. There was no grab and run with Travis. He had to be released by the alpha and she knew that wouldn't come easily. She did manage a soft smile, however, after thinking back on what he'd said before that. "I've never been much of the patient type, and I think you're eager to get him back. We'll find a way." She said encouragingly before he finally asked what she'd been waiting for.

She lowered her fork to her plate, pushing her food around for a moment as she thought back on the encounter with Jarek. she'd had little time to press the man for details, but had made the most of situation. She reflected back on his answers. some of it she wasn't sure she should disclose to him, knowing it may be painful for him to hear. She had asked a question about Travis, unable to keep from asking the details due to curiosity and knowing she couldn't ask the male when they rescued him. The realization of what had been done to him for such despicable reasons made her ill and she didn't even know him. No, she couldn't tell him that. "Some of them work. There's been a sort of discontent between some of the members and leadership. I happened to drug the second in command. Your prior entry point won't be viable now. It's been barbed off and there's more sentry duty. I guess if we did wait the leader might be taken down from the inside, but something might happen to Travis in that time. He doesn't really have much of a place in the pack. I'd be worried new leadership would dispatch him if we wait." She disclosed, deciding that much she could tell him. The reasons behind his being turned was something the younger brother would have to tell Eli if he chose. It wasn't her place to be telling him and she didn't want to have it be on his mind when they infiltrated the second time. Distractions would cost their lives and likely, Travis'. When the time was right he would know, but not before. She lowered her gaze to her plate to keep her thoughts from his attention. He would be able to see she was withholding something, something that was likely important.

She swallowed before bringing her eyes back up to him and letting her fork rest on the plate, half her food still left uneaten as she felt it take the effect Isabelle had gone for, easiness and relaxation. She felt her gaze lock onto his and her heart begin to pound as she did so. "Eli," She said his name softly as a thought crossed her mind that she quickly banished. She wanted to take his hand, to look at him like she had at the diner, to feel affections for him and not be afraid of it. It's too risky. It's not safe that voice prodded and she averted her gaze as a slight color came to her cheeks at the thought of feeling his hand over hers once more. Nothing had felt wrong that morning as they talked about simple things, learned about each other. She shouldn't be afraid, he wouldn't hurt her. He had practically promised that in his vow he made at the park. She knew all this and yet she still couldn't let herself. He would get killed if she let him have her unconditionally. It was no longer a fear for herself, but for him, and that was the point in which she should be frightened. The moment she had placed his life ahead of hers she should have run away. She forced her eyes back to his and squashed the prior wants to feel his warm skin against hers. "When we go, his life must be valued more than my own. If it comes down to it, if you have to choose, Travis has to come out alive. You can live without me, you can't live without him." She ended boldly, fully believing every word. She hadn't been in his life until recently and could never compete with a sibling bond. He couldn't possibly care for her enough to have to think about that choice. She wasn't anything to him but a comrade at arms, for now.

She had to turn her eyes away from him and let her hands recede from the table to hide once more under the table. You are nothing to him. You haven't allowed yourself to be in that position. You've kissed once, that is all and that is all it will ever be the voice whispered, a voice she wasn't entirely her won. Her brows furrowed in a sort of pain at the thought and for the first time she felt a type of anguish in her chest at this realization. She wanted to mean something to someone and she had chosen who she wanted that from. The unobtainable, the thing that would always be out of her reach. She wasn't mean to have that luxury that every other enjoyed. She was to free her mother from an evil servitude, a virus that infected her body against her will. She did not have the time to even be thinking of indulging in the impossible for herself. He and everyone else would be forever out of her reach. They would walk away from this rescue mission and then she would walk away from him. It was how it had to be and she felt her eyes close for a second at the realization that nothing would change. She couldn't be weak and she couldn't demand the luxuries of everyone else. She wasn't like any of them and so would never have as they did. Her fingers wrapped tightly around each other under the table to snap herself from her pain. She couldn't let him see it, couldn't bare the thought of him trying to comfort her. She wasn't his to comfort and never would be. Their paths crossed by chance and soon enough they would run parallel once more, to never cross again. She felt herself grow cold and shrugged into her sweater further to dispel the feeling.

In a poor feign of being fine, one of her hands emerged from under the table, blotches of red across her skin from where her nails dug into the flesh to bring her from her thoughts. Her fork scooped up a portion of the casserole and she ate it without tasting it, er mind elsewhere, lost in her own personal anguish.

[Serendipity]

“Very, for all of us.” Eli agreed with a single nod. He wasn’t about to deny that it would be dangerous for Luke’s pack; that a war between both Luke’s and the rogue pack could break out and they -well he- would have been the cause of it. If there was any other way, any at all, where he could free his brother without involving Luke’s pack and even Audrina, he would have gone with that plan. He had told Luke that he didn’t have to lend his help, that he didn’t have to get involved at all and he wouldn’t have been angry for it, a little disappointed maybe. Though he guessed he had involved Luke already, just by asking and allowing members of the Downworlders pack to gather intel for them; and Luke had been there to drag Eli back to the Institute the last time and whether he liked it or not it was far too late to tell the man to back off. He suspected, from a few things that had been said between them, that Luke might have been taking this rescue mission to heart; Eli had asked Jace about Luke, out of mild curiosity or so Jace believed, and had been told that Luke had once been a Shadowhunter like them, although Jace hadn’t gone into any detail on how the change had come about. He knew there was a story there, but hadn’t asked; it wasn’t his business for starters and he had a sense that it was a rather touchy subject for Luke.

“You and me both,” Eli smiled at Audrina said that she wasn’t much of a patient type; he wasn’t patient either and his impatience seemed to come out at the worst of times as, he guessed, everyone’s did. Her encouragement was consoling and appreciated although as more time went by and they still hadn’t come up with a solid plan to get Travis back his own thoughts were becoming rather discouraging so it was nice to hear this encouragement from Audrina. “Yes, we will.” He agreed. He was lifting more food to his mouth to eat, at the same time his gaze dropped to Audrina’s plate and he realised, with the smallest of frowns, that she wasn’t actually eating and only pushing food around her plate to make it look as though she were. She’d hardly touched anything and her eating habits were starting to worry him; he couldn’t recall a single time, now that he looked back on it, where she had eaten an entire meal. Eli didn’t point this fact out, not now since it was obvious that she had other things on her mind; whenever she wasn’t looking at him he noticed the change in her expression, it was the slightest change and if you weren’t looking for it you’d never see it. But Eli was always looking for hints of Audrina’s thoughts, sometimes it was only her facial expressions that gave her thoughts away and it was very rare that he caught onto it.

Eli was broken from his trying to decipher what Audrina could possibly be thinking at that moment when he saw her mouth open and she started to speak. His brows shot up in surprise, and even a little horror, as she divulged that it had been Maddox’s second in command that had been the Were she’d drugged. He was glad that he wasn’t aware of that little fact when he’d been angry with her for going up against Weres in the first place, he knew it would have made him more furious with her. But he’d already told her that he was no longer cross with her; although he now wanted to reprimand her again for not thinking of her own safety he took small breath instead and silently counted to three before he exhaled. He forced himself to listen to the rest of what Audrina was saying before commenting. “I had guessed that they would be keeping a close eye on the entry point I used previously. Perhaps we could use some of their discontent between members to our advantage...somehow.”

“Maybe if they fought amongst each other and a new pack leader was chosen, Maddox’s hold on Travis would be broken...we’d have to be close by if that were to happen, get him out straight away.” Eli said offhandedly, more to himself though. He almost missed Audrina saying his name, in that soft tone of hers that he didn’t get to hear often enough. The dark haired shadowhunter looked across at her and suddenly wished she hadn’t spoke his name like that, because although it had been soft and had him expecting something pleasant from her, her eyes said a different thing entirely. He found himself holding his breath as she spoke, almost choking on it when she started speaking, his expression tightening as what she was saying washed over him. It felt like she’d reached into his chest, put her hands around his heart and was squeezing ever more tightly with each word she spoke.

He knew his expression would have become pained and he dropped his gaze, unable to look at her when she spoke of Travis’s life being more valued than hers, as if she thought her own life had no value at all to him or to anyone, perhaps not even to herself. It was hard to breath all of a sudden as he remembered he’d already made the decision that he’d give up Travis if it was required to save her if anything went wrong. He was full of guilt once more, but also hurt that she could think he could ever value her life so little. “Travis’s life is valuable to me, he’s my brother, Downworlder or not...” He found himself saying, easily, which surprised him. Eli, no longer hungry, set his knife and fork in the middle of his plate, picked it up in his hands before he stood and pushed his chair back, it scrapped loudly against the floor. “But so is yours.” He added firmly.

He had meant to turn and walk out with the plate in his hand, retreat to the kitchen, but his feet stayed glued to the spot. He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for from her, realization that her life actually held value to someone maybe. “We’re both tired, we should get an early night.” He excused finally, after what seemed like several long minutes, a tense silence between them and Eli turned and made to leave the dining area. This was probably not the conversation they should be getting into right now anyway.

[Yunalesca]

She watched him with guarded expression when he finally did respond to her demand of him. She felt her chest tighten as she stopped breathing and heard him confirm what she'd thought before. He loved his brother and would choose him, just as she had told him to, but it still hurt nonetheless. It was a selfish thought and she wished she could take it back, but she couldn't. She wanted his brother to make it out alive, but she had felt a glimmer of hope, of want, for him to be somewhat conflicted. She wanted to hear that he cared, even a little. Her eyes dropped so he wouldn't see the emotions running wild inside her, that was until his chair scraped loudly in her ears like nails on the chalkboard. He was upset. That much she could tell merely by the force in which he'd pushed himself from the table and having not finished his food. When his voice came to her again her eyes snapped up to his. But so is yours he had said and she felt like she'd just been punched, stabbed through with a hot blade. She knew the stricken look crossed her face before she could guard it from him. He cared and he shouldn't. But it's what you wanted to hear, wasn't it? the voice questioned and her brows furrowed in pain. It was all she had ever wanted to hear and yet it hurt to actually hear it. She was on the path of destruction with no hope of derailing. She didn't want to have an effect on his life when she died and now she felt that she would.

Her eyes closed and she breathed deep to get herself under control. She couldn't have this talk with him and she felt he was waiting for her to say something or to possibly let his words sink in as there was an extended silence from him. It finally broke when he realized she would say nothing and he announced they should sleep. "Yeah." She said quietly, not bringing her eyes to him. Something inside her screamed to get up, to grab him, to stop him from leaving. But she stayed rooted to her chair, staring at her food without really seeing it. Things were continually getting more complicated, they had been since the moment she'd met the Shadowhunter. She was developing feelings even after she had thought she'd shielded herself exceedingly well. Never had she thought she would feel anything for the cocky, self absorbed, seemingly promiscuous male that was now leaving the dining room, but she had begun to do so. She wanted his happiness, even more than she wanted her own. SHe valued his life more than her own. She'd made a mistake in letting him kiss her and she had begun to unravel. She heard the door close and winced even though it hadn't been slammed. She'd had an opportunity, once again, to go after him and embrace a different future, and yet again she chose not to. She was dead set on this path it would seem. With a heavy sigh and a near whimper of pain she stood and started to close the containers. That was when she heard the door open again, though she didn't look up.

"I've got it, don't worry. How'd it go?" Came Isabelle's voice as she stepped up to the table and took the food out of the blonde's reach so she'd stop cleaning. Audrina sighed and grabbed her crutches, turning away from the girl without a word. As she was clicking her way across the floor to the exit she heard Isabelle mutter something along the lines of 'stubborn' and 'impossible' before she opened the door and closed it behind her, drowning out her voice. She retreated to the one place she still felt comfortable, her bedroom. As she fell to her bed, sitting on the edge, she realized just how tired she was. She'd only slept that hour earlier before Isabelle had woken her and those few hours before she came back to the Institute. She sighed tiredly before reaching down and removing the flats before trying to remove her pants. As she did so she fell over into her wardrobe and cursed loudly when her head hit the wood door and began pounding. "Can't catch a ...godamn...break!" She half yelled to no one before settling to sleep in her underwear as it seemed it would be almost impossible to get into sleep clothes without hurting herself. As she crawled under the covers and snuggled them close, something began nagging at her. Before her eyes closed heavily she heard a small voice in her mind to not go to sleep, but she was too tired to heed it.

*

"What should we do with her?"
"Let her sleep. Patience, dear."
"I want to be with her again."
"Patience, Aurelie."

The dream form of Audrina snapped awake, pulled vertical from a cold stone floor as the voices haunted her thoughts. She knew them both and yet she didn't want to admit it. Her sister was dead. Her mother was dead. They couldn't have been the voices she'd heard. And yet the second voice had said her sisters name. She had to have misheard. She shook away the cobwebs in her mind and lazily found her feet, feeling groggy as though she'd just woken from a long sleep. She didn't recognize her surroundings, though something inside her echoed that it was somehow familiar. There were candle sconces on the wall, the flickering flames giving off the slightest of light as she tried to see a door for escape. It was cold wherever she was, enough to make her shiver beneath the leather of her Shadowhunter gear. She was stepping around the room cautiously when she heard a soft giggle from behind her. She spun around and only saw two small white shoes just inside the circle of light. "Who's there?" She asked and the giggle came again.

"Silly, Dree. Has it been that long?" The child's voice asked before she started to slowly step forward, her dress and form being revealed by inches at a time. -Look away, run!- something screamed, but she could do neither. It was when her sisters child's face came into view that she felt herself stop breathing.

"Aurelie." She gasped before a sly smile came to her young face. She began approaching her older and taller sister and finally the Shadowhunters legs worked and she began backing away. Something was terribly wrong. "You're dead." Was all she could say as her back hit a cold wall. The girl stopped and smiled at her sister, looking innocent yet feeling otherwise.

"So are you. Well, you will be. But it's okay, sis. It only hurts for a second. I'll make it pleasant. Enough venom and it'll feel pleasant..." She whispered to her sister before her face contorted into that of a monster, a vampires true face. She hissed, showing her fangs, before she was lunging at the Shadowhunter with speed that defied logic. Her teeth were in Audrina's neck before she could even put her hands up and she felt herself scream for a fraction of a second before a hand came to her mouth and she choked on the sound.

- Wake up!-
- I'm dying...- she thought before the voice yelled at her again, using her name this time. -Venom...-

*

"Damnit, wake up! You're going to wake the dead!" Yelled a voice as her eyes opened and she tried to take a breath, her lungs burning. "Sorry, I had to muffle it somehow." Came the voice again before their hand was removed from her lips and she took a deep breath of air. Her eyes refocused and adjusted to the darkness enough to see blonde hair shining in the moonlight.

"WHat are you doing in my room?!" She hissed and pulled herself away from Jace who sat beside her. He gave her a face before standing so she could have her space.

"When I dreamed of coming into your room, I didn't have making you -stop- screaming in mind." He prodded and she glared before throwing a pillow at him.

"Get out."

He threw his hands up then and glared at her. "Hey, I was just trying to save the rest of us some sleep. I was walking by and heard your crying out. Obviously it wasn't a dream about me, I don't make a girl have painful cries."

"Get out!" She yelled anew and reached for a blade.

"Whatever, I'm leaving! Chill out." He said before backing out her door and closing it firmly behind him. She sat still in her bed then, chest heaving from her heavy breathing before her hand left the hilt of the sword and found her face. She was losing it. She never used to actually scream.

[Serendipity]

A small part of him, Eli realized suddenly as he turned away and retreated for the kitchen, had, stupidly, been hoping that she would let him in then after he’d reinforced that he cared for her. Despite everything that had transpired between them since his arrival into her life, all the arguments, her stubbornness and recklessness and the threats she made; her denial over not feeling anything for him one minute then holding his hand and not leaving his bedside the next; despite the electricity between them when they had kissed in the training room, the sweetness of her kisses when she’d thought she’d been dreaming. He had still developed feelings for her somewhere amongst all of that and he’d thought that maybe if she could see them, know that someone could care for her, was willing to chip away at her walls, that she might let herself open up.

She would probably never let him in, he resigned as he entered the kitchen and she had not come after him. He sighed heavily as he set his plate aside on the sink with the other plates and then exited through the other door, heading straight for his room. It was always like this between them and would always be, he was starting to wonder if his efforts were truly going to waste and not having any effect on her at all, or at least not the effect he desired from her. Hodge had warned him not to push too hard, to be patient with her; he was trying so hard to do both of those things, not to push, to be patient, but he wasn’t a very patient person to begin with. The last time you pushed too hard she ran away, a voice reminded him as he stepped into his room. It was only days ago that she had left, and a few hours since she’d been back and he’d quite possibly ruined everything again before it had been properly fixed.

So it was probably a good thing he’d been the one to leave the room, because the longer he’d stayed the closer he might have been to pushing her that little bit further. They had to focus on Travis, he’d been telling himself that from the beginning and somehow his focus still continued to stray from their task. He loved his brother and Travis becoming a Downworlder hadn’t changed any of that. But there was one thing, or one person rather, that seemed to take his focus off his brother and it ate him up inside knowing that. He’d never been so unfocused in his life and never over a woman, especially one that didn’t want his affections. Eli made for his dresser, to pull out his stele --to use a focus Rune on himself-- only when he opened the top draw he remembered that he no longer had the item in his possession. Maddox had stripped it from him, along with his shadowhunter gear and his favorite knives - a present from his father.

The dark haired shadowhunter pushed the draw back in, a little harder than was necessary and stalked over to his bed. He sat down and stripped off his shoes and shirt before lying back against his pillows.He covered his face with his hands and closed his eyes behind them, he doubted he would sleep, but tried anyway.

---

“Eli…Elijah!...”

Eli lifted his head from the pillows, bleary eyed from forcing himself awake, it had only seemed like moments ago he’d actually fallen asleep and now someone was rapping impatiently on his bedroom door, shouting his name. He recognised the voice, and who else would be knocking at his door other than Jace who had been knocking at his door every morning for the last few days eager to get a training session in. Eli groaned and rubbed at his eyes a moment before he dragged himself out of bed and over to his door. He opened it to find Jace, as he had guessed, smirking at him. “Gosh, did you have another drinking session with Luke last night?” The boy questioned unsympathetically at the sight of Eli and his red rimmed eyes, mushed hair and thick stubble. “I’ve never known Luke to drink so much, you must be a bad influence on him. But no excuses... up and adam! It’s time to train.”

“Give me a sec’,” Eli mumbled sleepily and leaving Jace standing in his doorway he made for the adjoined bathroom. “I’ll meet you in the training room, you have five minutes!” He heard Jace shout with some amusement and then his door was shut as Jace left for the training room, leaving Eli to wake up and get dressed for the day. “Yes, sir.” Eli muttered darkly, but a small smirk had come to his lips. If anything, Jace really did take his training seriously as Eli had once done, training three or four times a day when he could. Apparently Alec was not a morning person so Jace had usually trained by himself in the mornings, now whilst Eli was here he had a training partner for his morning sessions.

Eli quickly splashed water onto his face, reached for the shaving cream beneath the sink and shaved away the last 48hrs worth of stubble growing on his jaw. It was a hurried effort, since he only had five minutes, and as a result he’d nicked himself a few times. Eli dressed in his training pants and another singlet, black this time. He met Jace in the training room with only seconds to spare- or so Jace had informed him.

[Yunalesca]

Audrina had tried to fall back asleep after Jace had left and she'd given herself time to reflect on the horrors of her nightmare, but what sleep she did get had been fitful. Images of her sisters twisted, vampiric, face was all she could see behind her eyelids and the moment she did doze off she woke shortly thereafter drenched in sweat from the anxiety she felt. She gave up finally sometime after dawn and got out of bed, immediately turning to the bathroom to wash her face and get some semblance of being alive back into herself. When she looked in the mirror she could immediately see what the others would notice. Dark circles from the inability to sleep for days, stress lines at the corners of her eyes and at her brows from the anxiety, and most noticeably was the pale cast her skin had taken to. She was not tan per say, but she was a shade darker in complexion than what her appearance was now. She sighed heavily and pulled her cosmetic bag from under the sink to find something to at least minimize the circles under her eyes. She wasn't particularly up for a beratement on her lack of sleeping and eating as of late.

She checked her bandage after the fact, only now remembering she had been on crutches the day before. The slashes had begun to heal, their deepness beginning to recede though it still ached. In a few days there would be no indication she had been attacked whatsoever. She felt good enough to go without the crutches and did so after throwing on pre-shredded jeans and a top (here) she'd never worn until this day. She was dressed down severely in comparison to what she normally wore, but she wasn't in the mood to be squeezing into leather and leggings. She wouldn't be going anywhere if the others could help it, and they would, so there was little point in dressing to go out. This thought made her think of Eli and how upset he'd seemed to be with her having gone away. He wasn't stupid, he knew why she'd left and she felt an ache in her chest at the memory of the look he'd given her. He'd believed she'd never come back and that had hurt him. She'd mucked up in letting him learn to feel for her and yet she didn't regret it. She should. It would be saving them both heartache in the long run, but to actually know that someone -cared- made all the difference in her heart. With a heavy sigh she left her room and made for the kitchen.

Despite having not eaten much the night before, or for the last few days for that matter, she wasn't hungry when she entered the kitchen and glanced in the fridge. There was a variety to choose from and yet nothing was appealing. She closed the door and set about to make tea as she knew she had to have something. Not that there was a whole lot of nutritional value to tea, but it was better than nothing and she wasn't sure what else she wanted to do just yet. She would let this occupy her time as she thought of ways to keep herself busy today. After her nightmare she found she was somewhat afraid to be left to her own thoughts. She couldn't help but continually feel that something was wrong, that something was trying to get inside her head, something that wasn't Magnus Bane. She shook her head at the thought as her water boiled and she poured some over the tea bag in her cup before making her way to the small table in the corner of the room. She kept trying to think of what it was that was bothering her as she dipped the teabag in and out of the hot water to get the flavor from it. It was likely due to lack of sleep was what she kept telling herself and yet that didn't feel right either. She was staring into the darkening liquid of her teacup when she saw it. She stopped moving the teabag and felt she couldn't move while staring into the cup and something began materializing. A few small lines at first, but it became evident what was coming through in her cup the longer she looked at it. A face, one she knew all too well, was staring back at her with a beckoning smile. Audrina... a voice whispered in her mind and she managed to pull herself away from the cup, pressing her back against the wall as she rose and her heart hammered in her chest. This isn't happening she pleaded to herself before she gained the courage to look down at the cup once more. The face was gone and she quickly grabbed the handle, dumping the tea down the drain before she could have another hallucination.

"Was it stale?" Came from behind her and she instantly jumped, dropping the cup in the sink and making it shatter into several pieces. "You alright? You look like hell. I'll clean it up." Isabelle stated as she moved up beside Audrina and began picking up the pieces of the cup. The blonde could only stare at the broken cup for a moment as she felt that nagging in her mind again. Something was wrong and it wasn't just her lack of sleep. "Audrina?" The girl questioned as she held the fragments in her hand to be disposed of.

"It's nothing. I just...need some air." She said quickly and left a confused Isabelle behind, quickly ascending the stairs for the greenhouse. She escaped amongst the plants, finding a small plot hidden away from the door and falling to the ground. She continually rubbed her face as though it would help restore what she felt like was her sanity slipping away.

[Serendipity]

“You’re not concentrating.” Jace accused with just a small amount of annoyance in his words. He was standing over Eli who he’d just put to the floor with a quick swipe of his training rod to the ankles; there was a small, mirthless, smirk on the blonde’s face as he stood over the dark haired male, hair sticking to the sides of his face with sweat, his arms crossed over his slim, muscled, chest. Eli looked up at the young shadowhunter, a hint of a glare in his blue eyes; he shouldn’t be annoyed at the boy it was his own fault that Jace had managed to take him down so easily. Jace was right, he wasn’t concentrating and it was no one’s fault but his own. Eli wiped the dark look from his eyes and face and sighed and slapped one of Jace’s ankles, which were either side of his hips, with the back of his hand. “I know. Let me up,” He sighed and pushed himself up from the mat once Jace had moved and was no longer towering over him.

“It’s Audrina isn’t it?” The blonde enquired, the annoyance no longer present in his voice and a sympathetic look flashed across his face. Eli hated that everyone knew of his feelings towards the female, obviously he hadn’t hidden them well enough from the others. But if anyone might understand, Jace would - even as young as he was. Eli was aware that Jace was having his own women problems, Clary most likely still hadn’t spoken to him as Eli had requested her too. “If it’s any consolation, I haven’t seen her put up with anyone as long as she’s been putting up with you. She tolerates you where she wouldn’t anyone else. Don’t ask me why. You’re exasperating sometimes, Elijah.” Jace chuckled at the end and only rolled his eyes as Eli threw him a dark look, there was a mixture of surprise in his expression though. “Not that I mind, but surely she does. Still...she tolerates you.” Jace added quickly with a bewildered shrug.

“She tolerates me.” Eli repeated, hearing the sound of it from his own mouth a frown forming at the edges of his lips. “Consoling as ever, Jace. Thanks.” The dark haired male said flatly with a small shake of his head and reached down to collect his rod from the mat. He adjusted it in his hands as though he were preparing for another round, looked down at the wooden instrument, and then turned suddenly away, walking back to the rack the weapon had come from. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” He heard Jace sigh and could picture him throwing up his hands in vexation. Eli knew Jace hadn’t meant his words to be an insult but somehow they still felt like they were and he no longer felt like training. He left Jace standing in the middle of the training room looking after him with a mixture of confusion, concern and indignation.


---

It was a few days later when Eli received the call he’d been waiting for from Luke; it was time to make their move on Maddox. Luke had informed him that Maddox had sent some of his pack away to do some business on his behalf in Idris; apparently two of Luke’s pack, who had been keeping an eye on the meat factory at the time, had reported that they’d seen close to fifteen of Maddox’s members portal out of the meat factory thanks to the help of a paid Warlock. Although there was still over twenty Weres remaining at the factory, including Maddox, his second in command, Jarek and Travis. However it was a lot less numbers they would have to go up against then they could have hoped for. Eli had asked Luke and those members of his pack who would be coming along with them to meet both he and Audrina on the outskirts of the meat factory just before sunset so they could go over the plan one last time before they executed it.

Eli, who had been avoiding Audrina a little since their dinner the other night; except to relay any new information he had, now made his way down the hall to her room. He wasn’t sure if she would be there or if she’d be in the kitchen getting breakfast since it was early morning, but her room was on the way to the kitchen and it made sense to check there for her first. They would have to inform Hodge together that tonight they’d be breaking Travis out, and would need the day to prepare themselves; which he guessed was why Luke had phoned him so early, waking him up.

He stopped just outside Audrina’s bedroom door but hesitated before knocking. He had the stone she’d given him and Luke’s pack...did he need her too? Was he putting her life at risk by bringing her along with him tonight? They had agreed to work together, Audrina had all but demanded that she was part of this and was already involved whether he liked it or not. But it didn’t stop his hesitation upon telling her that tonight was the night they executed their plan to free Travis. He didn’t want her to get hurt, that was his reasoning and he thought it was pretty valid reason, but they were both shadowhunters --even if Audrina hadn’t embraced it fully-- and capable of defending themselves. She would be more than furious if he didn’t tell her and went on his own; she’d also probably figure out what his absence meant and would just follow him there, she knew the location after all.

With a small sigh and a shake of his head to clear his thoughts, he finally knocked on her door and waited for her to open it if she were inside.

[Yunalesca]

She had been keeping out of sight, for the most part, those few days after she'd had a hallucination in the kitchen. Or rather, that was what she was chalking it up to. She could be going crazy and not know it although who would she talk to about that? Based on how Isabelle had treated her since her return and the subsequent breaking of the teacup, she had decided it was best to hide herself away. She wasn't getting much sleep, the terrors continually plaguing her into waking up bathed in sweat and heart hammering in her chest. They were all similar in fashion, her sister and mother were present and they were trying to turn her. Every time she felt her life draining away under their teeth she woke with a start. She was just thankful she hadn't been screaming in her sleep anymore, or at least if she had, nobody was noticing. She avidly avoided Jace more than the others as he had been the one to wake her that night and undoubtedly would want to know what was wrong. If she told him she felt he would be tricking a sleeping potion into her drinks to keep her down throughout the night. That was something she really didn't want. As horror filled as her nights were, she didn't want to be unable to wake from one of her nightmares. Enduring up through the feel of vampiric teeth in her neck was enough, actually making it through a transition into the undead would be more than what she could bear.

The morning that Eli came knocking on her door she’d somehow gotten a reprieve from the frightful dreams and was so deep into her first rest in days that she almost didn’t hear his knocking. It was the second rap of his knuckles that fully brought her from her dreamless slumber, making her start in half a panic until she heard her name from the other side of the door. Her shoulders slumped and she sighed before swinging her legs out from under the covers. “Just a minute.” She called weakly as she found it hard to gather her voice. She grabbed her black silken robe from her bedknob and donned it over her tank and fuzzy purple pajama bottoms. She opened the door with one arm around her middle and her other hand combing through her hair to get it out of ‘bed head’ stage. “My first sleep in four days and you bother me for trai…Oh.” She stopped mid sentence as she noticed it was Eli standing before her and not Alec like she had suspected. He’d been trying to get her to train with him again, finally less fearful of her wrath it seemed, and each time she refused. He would be the only one she would have thought would bother her at this hour, apparently she was wrong.

“What time is it?” She questioned, half turning to look back out her window and see the sun beginning to rise. A small grunt of displeasure came from her before she rubbed her eyes, her robe coming open as she did so. Quickly, out of embarrassment, she tied the belt in a tight knot to keep the fabric from coming open again, even if she had clothing on underneath she suddenly felt exposed in front of him. As far as she could recall he’d never seen her in pajamas before and she wasn’t sure how intimate this was. “Judging by the look on your face I would say today is the day we play superheroes.” She said somewhat sarcastically as her arms folded around her middle and she leaned against the door. At that moment a strange buzzing came in her ears and she winced as a new headache came on, almost as though her mind was trying to warn her of something. One hand quickly went up to her temple and rubbed the throbbing pain away. She had to focus otherwise Eli was going to leave her out of this rescue mission and she couldn’t allow that. She’d made herself a part of this and would see it out to the end. She’d donated enough blood to the cause, literally, and earned her spot in this mission. Although that wasn’t something she would say out loud. He still didn’t know what she’d given in trade for his seeking stone and she wanted to keep it that way.

“Give me a few minutes to get dressed and I can meet you in the library, no, make that the greenhouse. The others don’t really go up there anymore.” She offered, suddenly thankful her werewolf scratches had healed and she wouldn’t be needing his help to get up there. She’d be utterly useless if they hadn’t healed in the timely fashion that they had. She knew enough now, however, to keep well enough away from their claws if and when they made physical contact with them tonight. Who was she kidding, they would be battling it out, there was no sneaking his brother out. Well, alive anyway, and him coming out alive was the only option. And you? What condition will you come out in? came that unfamiliar voice again, but she ignored it. The concern was to get Travis out. Her own state would be dealt with afterwards and not before. No use in dwelling on it, really.

[Serendipity]

He knew it was early and Audrina might not have even been awake yet, essentially he’d be waking her up, but they needed to get an early start so they were as prepared as they could be. He knocked twice on her door, the first time had gone unanswered, and he was just about to turn to leave after the second knock with no answer when he heard her muffled voice come from behind the door. He hadn’t meant to seem impatient with her, by the second knock, before he’d called her name, Eli had thought that perhaps she might already be up and wasn’t even in her room. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting when she opened the door, of course she would be in her nightclothes it was early morning and he’d just woken her up. The only reason he was up and dressed was because his buzzing phone had woken him, if it hadn’t been for that he might have still been asleep now.

She was in her pajamas, although a black silk robe was covering most of the top half, he could see her fuzzy purple pajama bottoms peeking out beneath it. He tried to hold back the smirk that caught the corners of his lips, but failed miserably. “Nice PJ’s.” He pointed out, missing the surprise in her expression at seeing him standing on the other side of the door, and not who she’d thought. He blinked and quickly dropped his gaze as the robe came open, it was impolite to stare and she would not appreciate it. They weren’t as revealing as some of the outfits she had worn in the past, but still there was something purely desirable seeing her in what she wore to bed, in the privacy of her own room. Eli pushed those intimate thoughts aside and looked back up at her as she spoke, guessing easily why he was knocking on her door this early. He didn’t miss the sarcastic note in her tone and wanted to roll his eyes at her when she said ‘superheroes’. “When I can fly, or shoot flames from my eyes, you can call me a superhero.” He returned, though without as much sarcasm and more amusement.

“I’ll make you some tea and meet you up there,” Eli nodded as she asked to have a few minutes to get dressed. He hadn’t realised he had yet to confirm outloud that tonight would be when they’d face Maddox and his pack to get Travis back, it was fairly obvious why he was knocking on her door so early and she was right, his expression said it all. A mixture of excitement for the fight, concern and anxiety, and dread for the overall outcome. He gave her a small smile before he turned to leave in an attempt to break some of the tension between them that had built up over the last few days. Tonight there could be no tension, they had to trust each other completely, there was no room for anything else.

No one was in the kitchen when he arrived in the room and put the kettle on the stove to heat, he remembered -- he remembered a lot of things Audrina liked-- how she liked her tea and gathered all the ingredients required from the cupboards along with a tea cup. He also readied his own cup, of coffee rather than tea, and while the kettle heated he found some biscuits in the fridge. It wasn’t much of a breakfast, but it was something, and he would just have to make sure they ate properly for lunch; they would need as much energy and strength they could.

Eli met Audrina up in the greenhouse with a tray of tea, coffee and biscuits and silently climbed the top of the metal stairs he knew he’d find her sitting on waiting for him.