i never asked to be saved [r], mortal instruments - Seren

[Serendipity]

He couldn’t be a werewolf, not Travis, he was a shadowhunter; a shadowhunter, not a werewolf, he affirmed again in his mind. His eyes still tightly shut, brows knitted, Eli kept running these thoughts through his head as though thinking it enough would make it true. Receding deeper into his thoughts he forgot Audrina’s hand was still firmly in his, didn’t realise he was gripping it so tightly; needing the comfort her hand offered so badly, the thought that he might be hurting her hadn’t registered. The daunting prospect of his brother now being a werewolf outweighed any relief Eli felt about finding Travis in the first place. He should be happy that he had finally found his brother, alive and still breathing, and deep down he was, but he felt so sick inside that his brother had been turned he couldn’t be happy - not yet. The pain inside his chest, which he thought was from his punctured lung, tightened and threatened to overwhelm him, he had to grit his teeth to stop from crying out with the pain.

Eli didn’t hear the groan Audrina gave when she woke, but as she tried to tug her hand from his because he was essentially crushing it, he loosened his grip for a split second before quickly entwining his fingers through hers, his grip becoming firm once more.Stay. He said in his mind, his jaw was too tightly clenched for the words to actually come out. He was vaguely aware that she was stirring beside him, her eyes opening as she was lifted her head to look at him; or the words she spoke. He was too deep in thought, in refusing to believe Travis was now a downworlder. His too bright, too naive, too kind for his own good little brother would never be allowed back in Idris, or the London Institute again, he could never be a shadowhunter again all because he’d had to prove to Eli that he could go it alone and he wasn’t fourteen anymore. Stupid, stupid! He thought angrily as a new wave of guilt took over. He should have never allowed him to join the other shadowhunters in their investigation. Travis had always been about impressing the Clave, getting in their good books, and Eli suspected it was because he felt he needed their forgiveness for their mother’s suicide. Which was ridiculous, it hadn’t been Travis’s fault, he’d been fourteen at the time what could he have done to prevent it.

As Audrina brushed his hair back from his face, he leaned into her touch, wanting more of it, hoping it would erase what had happened in the last twenty-four hours. His hand relaxed around hers as his eyes slowly began to flutter open, realising she must have been awake. Eli felt her hand at his shoulder, shaking him gently and his eyes opened fully then, head turning to look directly at her. Eli’s gaze caught hers after he scanned her features, he’d noticed the way her cheeks were flushed and smiled past his own pain. He could see the concern shining clearly in her grey eyes and lifted the back of his hand to her cheek, running the back of his fingers gently over her cheek and jaw, tracing the lines of her face. “I’m alright,” He murmured gently, he didn’t like to see that worried look in her eyes, and was quick to reassure her he was fine.

Thoughts of Travis vanished at the sight of her, but they were still there under the surface, and Eli kept them there for the time being. He turned his hand still tracing the lines of her face and cupped the side of her face for a moment, tracing a thumb over the heat rising there before he reluctantly pulled his hand away and let it rest at his side once more. “How are you?” He asked, knowing that she was still recovering also and even now that he was the one in the hospital bed he still felt concern for her.

[Yunalesca]

She felt herself caught by surprise as his hand came up and brushed against her cheek. She was sure it reflected in her eyes as the slight smile she had begun to give him upon his eyes opening fell slightly in shock. She managed not to pull away simply because she didn’t know what to. She was like a deer in the headlights as her hand was pressed to his naked body and his was delicately moving around her jawline. She should be shirking away, but instead her eyes closed and she took a calming breath before opening them again as his hand fell. She wanted him to do it again and was slightly appalled at that. SHe'd never felt the want to be touched, never wanted the intimacy of the act. But the way he'd cupped her jawline had warmed her and made her reflect on prior thoughts. She could have this all the time if she wanted. She may want it now, but she remembered how her life would only hurt him and possibly get him killed. He already had too much on his plate with his brother, he didn't need her life on there as well.

She sighed after his hand fell and looked down into his eyes. "I'm good." She half lied to him. She was still mending, but he didn't need to hear that. "I can see you're not alright. You were a bloody mess when you came in." She said quietly as she curled her fingers around his finally and leaned a little more forward so it was easier to talk quietly. The feel of him so close sent her heart running and almost made her breathing grow ragged at the thoughts that crossed her mind. She was suddenly very aware of him, able to feel his pulse in his hand and see a hint of pain that he tried to hide from his eyes. He knew about his brother and she suddenly wished what she had thought weren't true. In a way his brother had been taken from him long before he'd been found. He'd probably had hopes of bringing Travis to the Institute, of going home with him. Her gaze softened and brows furrowed slightly as she thought of this. He could never go home with Travis, not if he were part of a pack.

She refrained from pressing him for details even though she wanted to hear them for herself. It appeared it was still too much for him to bear and took everything to try and hide it from her. Without a thought her hand left his shoulder and brushed a few stray strands from his face again, being delicate as she did so. She could feel the heat coming from his forehead and felt her heart hammer anew. She brought her eyes down to his again and took another stabilizing breath. Everything told her to pull away, but she didn't. The back of her hand brushed against his cheek almost affectionately before it rested on the mattress. "It'll be okay." She said quietly to him as though it was all the reassurance he needed. His brother had been turned and all she could say was it'd be ok?

"You probably don't need to hear it, but that was incredibly stupid. I had to clean a lot of blood off you..." She trailed off as she realized she'd just admitted that she'd cleaned him while he'd been out. Color came to her cheeks again and she had to avert her eyes momentarily to regain composure. He hadn't been naked, she shouldn't be ashamed or embarassed by it. But she was on some level. She'd touched his bare skin while he'd been unconscious. It'd have been no different if it'd been Jace or Isabelle that'd done it, but she knew that was a lie. It was different because it'd been her.

[Serendipity]

Eli had seen the shocked expression in her eyes as he trailed his hand along her jawline and then cupped the side of her face, it was part of the reason why he had dropped his hand away, as much as he wanted to keep touching her -because touching her made him feel better, made him forget about everything that had happened, to his brother, to her, to them-, he knew she had limits of how much he could really push her. Eli wasn’t used to being so cautious of how he touched someone -people he was attracted to-, he had never shied away from showing how he felt through touch or words, and with Audrina he had to be careful. He wasn’t upset by this, not anymore, he’d come to terms with the fact that she shied away from affection, verbal or physical, and if he pushed it on her too much she would close of completely.

The fact that she had kept her hand in his was comforting, she seemed to know that he needed some sort of connection with her right now and for that he was grateful. It was easy to forget the way they had parted last with the way she was looking at him, her eyes full of relief and concern for him, if the fear of getting too close was there he didn’t see it - although he could very well simply not want to see it. He half chuckled at her statement as she pointed out he’d been a bloody mess when he’d arrived back at the Institute and managed a nonchalant shrug. “When am I not these days, it’s like my signature move,” His eyes scrunched into a smile even though his lips turned into more of a smirk.

She leaned in closer to him so they could both speak quietly, and he knew that was the only reason, but a wistful part of him thought she might kiss him. And that’s how we know you’re still delirious, his mind chortled, of course she wouldn’t kiss him. He probably still looked a mess too, if he were her he probably wouldn’t want to kiss him either. He didn’t toy with the idea of kissing her or her kissing him for very long as he saw the silent question in her eyes, she wanted to know what had happened, what he’d discovered about his brother. He hadn’t had the chance to tell anyone other than Luke that he’d gone to the meat factory in hopes of finding his brother, but somehow he could sense that she knew that was the reason. Audrina could probably tell though that he didn’t want to talk about what had happened, at least not right now, he still needed to get his thoughts on it all under control first, and she didn’t ask him the question he suspected she wanted to ask.

She distracted him as she gently pushed back more of his hair from his eyes, and he almost sighed at the gesture but prevented himself from doing so, his gaze remaining on hers. When she said ‘it’ll be okay’ he almost believed her, but deep down he knew it wouldn’t, not straight away at least. She was merely saying those words to comfort him, but he understood that need to say something reassuring.

His expression fell a little as she went on to tell him how stupid he’d been for doing what he’d done, he knew it was and felt a little ashamed that he’d come back to the Institute such a mess and had to have the others clean him up. But it hadn’t been the others who had cleaned him up, Audrina had just said as much; she had cleaned the blood off of him, cleaned his wounds. “It was stupid,” He agreed, deciding that he wouldn’t say anything on the fact that she had cleaned him up, except maybe to thank her. “Thank you...for cleaning me up, it mustn't have been pleasant.” Eli murmured. Who really wanted to clean off blood off of someone, it wasn’t the nicest thing to have to do.

“Jace is going to pissed, I lost my stele again,” He smirked with just a small amount of amusement, at least he could laugh at something over the whole situation. Jace had gone with him to the demon lair to get his stele back the first time, and probably hadn’t counted on doing something similar a second time.

[Yunalesca]

A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as he thanked her for cleaning his wounds. He didn't need to do that, she wouldn't have left him in that state and she was sure neither would have the others. Isabelle had been set on doing the job herself, but she knew her reaction to Eli's appearance and stepping forward to take his hand had given her pause. She mildly wondered what the others were thinking at this moment wherever they had gone to. Their imaginations had to of been running wild since Eli had sat with her for four days, keeping watch and seemingly guarding her mind from another Warlock invasion. We all saw how he felt about you when you were out, how he still feels murmured Jace's voice in her mind and she sighed softly, contently. "You don't have to thank me, I've cleaned up worse..." She said before biting her lip and her eyes took on a far away cast. She was recalling the one time she'd had a worse case to clean up. She was seeing herself in the bathroom mirror of her home as she scrubbed her sisters blood from her skin, the red staining her white complexion She took a breath and quickly brought herself out of the memory, not wanting him to see the pain or to ask what she had just thought about. It wasn't the time to be worrying about herself, he was the one lying in the infirmary after having been beat half to death. She shouldn't be so selfish. At that she buried the memory deep down inside and locked it away once more.

Her brow rose slightly as he informed her he'd lost his stele again. Her eyes closed as she smirked at him before opening them again and looking down at him disapprovingly. "That's a pretty important piece to keep losing. What ever are we going to do with you?" She teased mildly as she looked down at him, feeling a sudden urge that surprised her. At some point in their easy conversation she had grown comfortable and wanted to kiss him. She felt parts of her urging her forward, telling her to take the leap, while the rest of her said to be reserved and to use her head. Kissing him would chase away that pain, that fear, she could feel just under the surface. But it would return and he would expect more... her conscience echoed and she felt herself stop breathing for a moment as her eyes scanned his. For the first time she could feel that she genuinely didn't care about the consequences. She remembered how it'd felt to kiss him, how alive it'd made her feel, and knew it did the same for him. It could be what he needed at this moment. She was forced to take a breath before she was unexpectedly leaning forward. Her eyes closed and she felt her lips brush his before she heard the click of a doorknob turning down the hall. She pulled away before her lips were pressed too deeply into his, sitting straight and trying to wipe the flush from her cheeks. What had she been thinking?

Her eyes left his as her heart hammered at the thought of kissing him and being caught doing so. The door was only just opening as she pulled away and she felt relief flood through her as Hodge stepped through the archway. He couldn't have seen anything, not that he would say anything if he did. She kept her eyes averted from Eli, locked on Hodge as she tried to set herself straight. She was feeling a sort of embarrassment flooding through her after having nearly full on kissed him. It was nothing to be ashamed of, but it felt like a betrayal of herself. She wasn't that girl, she could never be what he wanted and she should stop teasing him. She did manage to keep seated in her chair however and hadn't let go of his hand, partly because he'd strengthened his hold on her fingers as she'd leaned forward and partly because she knew he needed the comfort at this time. Even though she wanted to get up and run, she kept rooted to the spot. He had never left her side and it would be cruel for her to turn her back on him when he needed her. You admit that you needed him, her mind whispered and she swallowed, feeling an expressionless mask come over her features to hide away what she felt as the elder Shadowhunter approached.

"In good hands then, Elijah?" Hodge asked as he stepped up to the bed and looked down at him, ignoring Audrina as she worked to control her expressions. Hodge Starkweather wasn't a stupid man and likely was aware of everything that was going on between the two Shadowhunters, but unlike the others he didn't feel the need to comment on it. The moment he'd met Elijah Ashdown he had felt a small plan hatching in his mind. He was generally not the interfering type, having learned his lessons from Valentine, but this was not something he could pass up. Coaxing these two into working together had been subtle, but it'd been enough it seemed to bring Audrina around to possibilities. They'd needed eachother and had never known it until now, though the elder Shadowhunter had known from the start. They were a good match and he was beginning to pride himself on the results. Nobody of course suspected this had all been his intentions. Trying to play match maker with Shadowhunters was a risky business that nobody particularly wanted to partake in, but this was the one time he had gone out on a limb to try. Eli was the one person who could bring Audrina's want to live back to her and she was the one person who could change his perspective on the world. He still wasn't sure they'd touched on that yet, and likely wouldn't until it was almost too late. A risky game, but he was counting on them to figure this out. He needed them both for his own reasons he would never disclose, but he also wanted them to survive another day.

"I don't need to remind you of how you broke the Accords by going into that werewolf den. If it weren't for Luke your head would probably be on a stake out front of the place, consider yourself lucky." Hodge pressed which made Audrina tense at his side. She'd always known Hodge as the soft spoken type, but he was being rather aggressive at the moment and she was feeling a sudden want to protect Eli from harsh realities in that moment. Her fingers curled a little tighter around his almost possessively as she felt a spark of anger reflecting in her eyes. "I didn't come here to yell at you, however." Hodge added then, seemingly sensing the blonde's irritation with him. It was sometimes exhausting to tip toe the line when around the blonde and Hodge had managed to forget this when he'd walked into the room. She was a draining presence and he'd commended Eli for continuing to try for her. "I just want to remind you the consequences that could come from this if the pack should choose to go to the Clave with it," he sighed and Audrina tensed further, her expression turning dark.

"Unlikely." She blurted in a defensive tone in reference to the weres going to the Clave. She may not have had many dealings with them, but she was aware of how they generally felt about Shadowhunters and their law enforcement officials. If a pack leader did run to the Clave over something like this he would appear weak. She didn't feel that alpha would want that, he'd been pretty brutal in his handling of Eli. The message had been sent. The next time, however, the pack would kill the Shadowhunter that crossed their lands. She was sure of it.

Hodge turned his gaze briefly to Audrina then. "You're right, highly unlikely." He said calmly and managed to relax her rigid exterior momentarily. She would have to learn to contain her temper a little better, he observed, but that was likely a lost cause. If she'd had parents to bring her up as a proper Shadowhunter she would know how to contain herself better. He kept this to himself, however. His eyes turned back to Eli then. "We will stand behind you here at the Institute, Elijah. That is what I really came to say to you. It is a risk at my expense after the....things I have done, but I do believe family comes first and you should fight for that." He said to the Shadowhunter, confirming he knew why Eli had gone into a pack of weres ready for a fight. He saw and heard everything even if the young Shadowhunters thought they were being sly while under his roof. It was his job to protect them and train them, therefor he knew everything.

[Serendipity]

Audrina had yet to let go of his hand and he was starting to wonder what it all meant; was she here, holding his hand, reassuring him it would all be okay, smiling at him because she had made her decision upon the ultimatum he'd given her? Did she want to let him in, see how things went and whether they truly had something together? Eli had to be careful thinking of such things, having these hopes, it wasn't always this clear cut but it did give him some small hope that underneath it all she really did care for him. She was afraid, he knew, to let anyone in because the thought of losing them as she had lost her mother and sister was too great to bare; but she had to know that never letting one in, carrying that burden all on her own would be the worst type of pain, a pain that was silent that wasn't always in plain sight. Eli, for a long time, after his father had been killed and his mother died, had refused to let anyone in like Audrina was doing. But unlike Audrina he still had his brother, and Travis had helped him see it that although the pain of the loss of their parents would never truly go away, it was possible that by not forgetting, not pushing their memories away did make it easier. Travis had pushed him with his affection that only siblings shared, made him see it wouldn't destroy him if he cared for something again. Sometimes it would hurt though, Eli hadn't forgotten that, wouldn't ever forget that. It hurt now, knowing someone he cared about had something forced upon them against their will, knowing they were still in trouble.

Eli grinned as he saw Audrina's expression turn in an amused short of smirk and his eyes twinkled a little at her mildly teasing tone. "I don't know, what ever will you do with me. Maybe glue it to my hand?" He teased back, and caught his breath as he saw something shift in her eyes, they darkened but not out of anger like they normally did, it was with something else. His heart thumped away in his chest so hard, she might had heard it as she leant a little closer. His lips parted slightly in surprise as he realised what she was about to do, her own lips drawing closer to his. She was actually going to kiss him, out of her own free will, because she wanted to. Even if she was only doing it because she thought it was what he needed in order to feel better about things, it didn't matter because for Audrina this was a big deal. As her lips brushed his, Eli's eyes partially closed and his free hand lifted about to sink into her hair as he could feel her want to deepen the kiss match his own. His hand dropped away just as suddenly as she stopped kissing him before either of them could deepen it and a wave if disappointment came over him. Someone was walking through the door and Audrina must have heard them start to open it, so she'd pulled back before she was caught completely out of character kissing him. Eli almost glared at the person coming through the door because they had interrupted the moment, but paled a little instead as he saw it was Hodge.

He had a feeling as to why Hodge had come to see him, he wasn't here just to check up on him, but to reprimand him for his stupidity most likely. Eli's gaze went from Audrina's to Hodge and then back to Audrina as he thought she might leave now someone else was here. He gripped her hand a little more firmly, silently telling her not to leave and was relieved when she didn't. He almost smiled at her for it, but Hodge was drawing closer and had spoken. Eli didn't respond with words, only a small nod, to comment on what Hodge had said might have been uncomfortable for Audrina.

"I'm aware of that...now." Eli admitted, feeling mildly guilty again for going there on his own, and not thinking about all the rules he would be breaking. He felt Audrina's hand tighten around his at Hodge's words and looked at her momentarily before he was looking back at Hodge. She mustn't have liked the way Hodge had spoken to him in that somewhat aggressive manor because clearly the older shadowhunter wasn't pleased at what he'd done. The mans tone seemed to soften a little as though he could sense Audrina's irritation over the he'd spoken. Eli didn't answer Hodge straight away as he let his thumb brush over the top of her knuckles, quietly letting her know it was okay.

Audrina spoke before he could though. Her words matching his own thoughts on the matter. Eli, after meeting the pack leader briefly, knowing they were a rogue, brutal bunch if weres, had a feeling he wouldn't run to the Clave. Maddox would then grave to explain his own actions, the clave would want him to perform to their rules and he wouldn't want that. "He wouldn't, not if he doesn't want the Clave breathing down his own back for all his past wrong doings. But I appreciate the gesture, and I'm sorry if my actions cause you any grief with the Clave." Eli sighed and leant his head back against the pillows, glancing at Hodge side on as he mentioned that he knew Eli had gone there for his brother.

"I have to go back again soon -I'll take back up with me next time," he quickly assured, but he needed Hodge to know that it would have to be soon that he went back for his brother. Who knew what trouble he would get in once the rest of the pack found out he'd helped him escape. Eli could only hope he had come up with a believable story. "I'm not sure I'm going to get him out, he wouldn't leave with me before. Luke said he couldn't." Eli explained, his expression contorting a little at the idea of never being able to get Travis out if he was somehow compelled not to leave.

[Yunalesca]

The blonde Shadowhunter felt herself visibly tense as Eli confirmed he'd be going back as well as confirming her fears from before. His brother had been turned and was a full fledged member of the pack. He couldn't leave if the alpha didn't allow it. She felt like a hand had wrapped around her heart and was slowly squeezing the life out of it. She was hurting for Eli who had found his brother after so long and couldn't go away with him, couldn't bring his world back to normal. She wasn't even sure if the Shadowhunter understood why his brother hadn't come with him and why he couldn't leave the premises of wherever it was he had been. Her eyes shifted to Eli with a sorry look before they turned into something else, something more primal. "You can't. They'll kill you and whoever you take with you." She said sternly, yet her voice almost coming out as a plea. She felt Hodge's eyes rest on her then, like he was studying her. Everything she'd done since Eli had been brought back was entirely out of character and seemed to be confusing everyone she came in contact with.

She took a breath and tried to wipe the emotion from her eyes before returning it to Eli again. She understood where he was coming from, his physical need to have his brother back, but for once she was thinking of consequences. "If you go back I cannot protect you and I will have to pretend I didn't hear you say that just now." Hodge warned as his gaze returned to the male Shadowhunter. He'd pledged his support for him, but he was right in the fact he couldn't protect him outside the Institutes walls. He could do nothing if Eli broke the Accords again and the Clave came hunting. All he could do was lie, which would hold a heavy offense if they found him out. Audrina tore her eyes from Eli to look at Hodge, concern etching on her brow as though she were asking what they could do. They couldn't leave his brother there, but they couldn't forcibly take him either. It would kill him if they removed him from the pack's grounds. That was if the pack didn't kill them and bathe in their blood first. Weres didn't care for the Nephilim at the best of times and most certainly grew hostile when they were trespassing on their land.

"Eli," She started, slightly taken aback at how her voice sounded. It was concerned, different from the normal guarded tone she used. SHe took a breath and pressed on, ignoring that she currently held no armor around herself. "I'm not saying we leave him there, but the danger in going back..." SHe trailed off, unsure of how to exactly proceed with this. She knew Jace would be on board immediately, having no care for the Accords or the Clave it seemed which in turn would drag the others along. Was it right to ask it of them to go back while knowing how it could disrupt the balance in the were community? Would it come back on Luke somehow? So many questions she didn't know how to answer and she was sure it reflected in her eyes. Either way, they couldn't leave Eli's brother. There had to be a way around it. The Shadowhunter wouldn't just give up and let Travis stay where he was, especially not after the beating he'd received in trying to find him. Her brows knitted close together as she thought more on how to handle the situation. She had her own problems to be addressing with the vampires and yet that had seemed to slip far from her mind since she'd seen Eli's plight.

"I'll go with you. There's less risk that way. I don't have a family or friends that would worry about me getting hurt." She said, no emotion coming through as the truth of the matter lay out there. The others had family, had friends that would worry and risk themselves for eachother. That couldn't be afforded on a death wish such as going back into the were den. She felt Hodge's eyes on her again and tried not to turn her attention away from Eli. SHe knew what she'd see in the elders eyes. She was setting her own ambitions aside for Eli, something she had never done before. Instead of fighting with him she was offering her help. She couldn't say how long this side of her would last, but until then she was content with riding it out. She couldn't deny what she felt any longer even if it frightened her. When the time came she would cut the chord, she promised. Maybe if she helped him get his brother back now he wouldn't hurt later when her life ended.

[Serendipity]

Eli could only stare at Audrina, surprised at the amount of sternness in her voice as she told him he couldn't go back to face the pack again, but there was also a hint of plea in her tone. He hadn't taken a moment to think about how it would affect her if he went back, because he hadn't thought she would worry so much about him. She had kept her feelings and her concerns so close to her heart it almost seemed like she didn't care at all. But she'd just proven she did, she worried that he would get killed; but not only that, she also worried that the others would get hurt in the process. Eli felt something warm envelope his heart and squeeze tightly, it wasn't painful, but a strange sensation all the same. His gaze soften as he looked at her, and gave her hand a light squeeze, still surprised that she had kept it there this whole time. "If I don't go back Travis is trapped there for the rest of his life, or until they get bored of him. I'll be careful this time, plan it better." Eli tried to reassure whilst still indicating that he was going, although he did feel torn between stemming her fear for his safety by not going and not listening to her plea.

Eli glanced up at Hodge as the shadowhunter informed him that if he went through with his decision to go back for his brother he couldn't help him and would have to pretend he didn't know of his plans. "I know and I wouldn't ask you too," The dark haired shadowhunter nodded in understanding, he would no expect any of them to help him if they didn't want to and would never hold it against them. His eyes drifted back to Audrina as she said his name, that concern tone seemingly becoming stronger now. He frowned and shook his head slightly, "I'm getting my brother out of there." He said perhaps a little too firmly, he knew she meant well though and sighed, his expression softening apologetically. He couldn't be annoyed at her. If the role were reversed, he'd probably be trying to convince her not to go either. "I need to get him out," Eli spoke a little more softly this time.

"What? No!" His eyes widened slightly as Audrina stated she would go with him, even Hodge looked surprised by that. He hadn't considered that she would want to be the one to go with him and he suddenly felt the same worry come over him as she had felt about him getting hurt. It would be dangerous, she had said so herself but now the words slowly sunk in. She could get hurt, they both could; how could he live with himself if she got hurt because she'd helped him in his plight? Though how could he stop her if she wanted to, there was no stopping her if she set her mind to it he was sure.

"Fine," He sighed, deciding there was no point in arguing with her, and probably best it wasn't in front if Hodge. Eli had seen the way the man was looking at them both, and could see he suspected something was there. Eli wasn't worried about him noticing it but he felt Audrina might. "We'll have to get Luke's pack to keep an eye on them if they can, we may be able to work out a plan from there once we get some idea on their schedule etc."

[Yunalesca]

The blonde Shadowhunters expression turned slightly dark as Eli immediately protested with her involvement in his plan to recover his brother from this werewolf pack. She didn't like to be told no, especially when her mind was already set on something. She was stubborn and bound to let her anger get away with her if he weren't careful, all things he should have noticed by now. It seemed he took that into consideration as he sighed heavily and seemed to give up in the venture to prevent her from being involved with this before they would have an argument about it. She shouldn't be getting involved, at least according to her conscience, but she'd already decided. His brother could possibly be the only thing that would distract him long enough for her to slip away from him in the future. He knew she was after someone that would likely get her killed and had been watching her more closely since being poisoned by the demon. He'd try and stop her if he knew she was going to meet her end. It would all be easier with his brother around to distract him. Stop pretending like this is just about that, you want him to feel better.. her mind whispered and she sighed slightly at the thought. She did care about him which was going to make their separation even harder.

"I'm the obvious choice, you can't deny that. The Clave probably doesn't even remember I exist, I'll be harder to track if this goes badly." She interjected before he pressed on with cluing Luke in on the planning process. She was risking a lot more than she had previously thought in joining Eli on this suicidal rescue mission. She'd purposefully stayed under the radar for close to ten years now. She could be a blip on their vision if she weren't careful with this. If they remembered her and how her sister had died, they would manage to stop her in her venture to slay her mother as well. She couldn't afford that, which meant whatever they did to recover Travis would have to be kept from the Clave. If it meant leaving no survivors, Audrina could live with that. Killing weres had never been in her interests, but she wouldn't let them possibly get in the way of her ultimate goal. She would kill many things to ensure she met with her mother someday soon and had their final showdown. She took a breath and wiped the thoughts from her mind that may have been reflecting in her eyes in the form of determination and lack of fear in death.

"We'll have to be careful about their involvement. Luke's been stretched thin with Jocelyn still asleep and the whole Simon business." She paused, recalling how angry she'd been that Eli had helped the boy transform into one of those nightwalking devils. She was sure it flashed across her face before it was quickly swiped away. Now was not the time to think of that either. Hodge cleared his throat then as though to gain their attention. "You should be careful to not disrupt their way of things either, Elijah. If one of them kills the alpha, they become the alpha. It'd tear Luke's pack apart and cause a distress in the downworlders. The Clave would most definitely be involved then." He pointed out to them, reminding Audrina that as experienced as she thought she was, she was still quite young in comparison to the elder Shadowhunter. He'd been the best, possibly still was. As much as she didn't like to be chastised like a child, she held her temper in check. His wisdom should be listened to, not scoffed at. It was a sound observation and path of direction for them.

Audrina then remembered she was still holding Eli's hand, his thumb running over her knuckles in comfort. It seemed to work its magic as she felt her blood run warm for other reasons. It was an unusual feeling for her and yet she couldn't find the strength to separate from him just yet. SHe wanted to comfort him as he had done her after she woke. He'd kept so many bad dreams at bay just being there beside her. She owed him, though she knew she wasn't just staying there because of that. "Before we do that, however, I think you should eat and probably rest. It wouldn't be very smart barging back in there hours after you had the snot kicked out of you." She pressed, though a small trace of humor was in her voice. She looked from him to Hodge then, sensing he was looking at her.

"That's a good suggestion, Audrina. Could you go fix something before Isabelle comes to the same conclusion? We could have him permanently here if we feed him anything from her plate." He half joked, though she could see the intent in his eyes. He wanted to talk with Eli without her, probably about her. She felt her fingers tighten around his as she felt reluctant to leave, but after a moment she relinquished her hold from his. She stood slowly, removing her hand from his just as slowly before she was turning away and starting to exit the infirmary. She felt the muscles in her leg tighten from the movement, but she grit her teeth and continued on with as little a limp as possible.

[Serendipity]

She wasn't the obvious choice, not for Eli, not by a long shot and he wanted to tell her that, talk her out of her decision to go with him and face a pack of rogue weres. Although saying as much would only cause them to argue and he was still so exhausted after being beaten half to death he wouldn't have come close to winning that argument. So instead he'd sighed, hopefully that would let her know he wasn't happy about agreeing to let her be a part of all of this. Then again it would keep her in his sights, keep her occupied from her own task of going after her mother, something he hadn't thought of until just this moment. It still wasn't technically keeping her out if danger, and might prove more of a distraction for him then anything but he would be there, to protect her.

He didn't miss the volatile look of anger cross her features after she mentioned Simon and felt a small pang of guilt over the part he'd played in that. The look was gone so quickly and it was as if it had never been there as she focused her thoughts on the present moment. Turning his gaze to Hodge next as he spoke once again, he and Audrina were doing all the discussing at the moment and he let them, his mind felt to exhausted to concerntrate all of a sudden and he was growing tired again. "It's going to be tricky then, nothing's ever easy," he said more to himself then the other two. It didn't matter how tricky it was though, he had to get his brother back, werewolf or not. It still hadn't sunk all the way in yet that Travis really was a werewolf, although all the clues were there, he guessed until he saw Travis change for himself he probably would never truly believe it.

His attention was brought back to Audrina, his thumb still running back and forth over her knuckles gently. He couldn't bring himself to stop the action, the feel of her soft skin beneath his thumb more comforting then he'd first realised. A smile started across his lips as she suggested he eat and rest first before they did anything. Eli recalled saying something similar when she'd been in this bed, however he wouldn't prove as fussy over what to eat as she had. "I fancy some cordon bleu," Eli grinned, his humor matching her own. "But a peanut butter sandwich would do..."

Eli looked back at Hodge as he agreed with the blonde about some food and rest and it would be better to eat something before Isabelle decided to feed him something. "Yes, that would be appreciated." He nodded, he would like to be out of the infirmary as soon as he could not stuck here for more days because of food poisoning. Agreeing to eat something however meant that Audrina would leave, because she would get him something to eat. He could already feel her hand slowly slipping fom his as she stood, his fingers loosening reluctantly to let her go and skimming over hers briefly before she completely pulled away.

Hodge remained behind as Audrina exited the infirmary, but his gaze stayed with her, watching her retreating form until she disappeared through the door. Only after she was completely out of sight did he turn his attention to the older shadowhunter, his browse rising slightly as he waited for Hidge to say what he'd stayed behind to say. At least Eli guessed that was why he stayed, because he wanted to talk with him some more.

[Yunalesca]

Audrina didn't miss the teasing in Eli's voice as he spoke to her with his request for food. She'd merely smirked at him before her hand was slipping away and she was locking eyes with Hodge as she passed. He was going to say something important and she wouldn't be there for it. He didn't want her there for it. It was upsetting and yet she continued out the doors to the kitchen down the hall from the living quarters. She shouldn't be worrying about it as it was clearly a matter to be discussed with Eli and Hodge alone, but she found it was bothering her. She had never been concerned with being left out before, always too busy with her own mission to be worried about it, but this time that was the only thing she could classify this feeling as. She was left out and she didn't like it. She was feeling that she also didn't like having been shooed from Eli's side, another unnatural feeling. She should have pulled away from him the moment the elder Shadowhunter had come in, but she hadn't. She'd remained and had felt calmed under Eli's stroking of her knuckles. He was gaining a power over her and she should be frightened. A part of her was, but not enough to make her want to pull from him. Not yet at least.

She made it to the kitchen with a bit of effort, pulling open the fridge door and peeking inside for ingredients to make something. She couldn't come back with a PB and J and still keep her dignity. The ingredients that stuck out at her made the decision for her. Somewhat healthy, albeit American in design, but better than a simple peanut butter and jelly. It didn't require much in the way f culinary skill, but she felt he might appreciate it more. Look at you, concerned with what his tastes are that voice in her head cooed and she swiped it away. She just wanted him healthy again so he could bring his brother back. Only then could she continue with her quest without a guilty conscience. She couldn't leave him to himself and hope to cope with her death, she was assuring herself. Even though she'd felt herself growing attached, a dangerous thought, she was still firmly in the belief she would find her mother and kill her. She couldn't let these feeling blossom and make her forget what she was about. Her mother deserved to be free and could only do so in death. Sighing, she pulled out a pan and began frying the bacon for the BLT she had decided on constructing.

*

Hodge waited until he felt Audrina leave before he pulled up a chair beside the Shadowhunter and took a seat. "She was responding too...agressively for me to bring this up in her presence. I feel you will understand that when I am finished." The elder explained as he looked at Eli and almost felt a nervous tick of biting his lip come on. He was too composed for such a gesture. He was the youth's trainer, their mentor. He could not afford simple nervous gestures in front of them. He had only just begun to gain the trust back from the Lightwoods and Jace, he could not let them see any more weakness than what had already been conveyed. It was the same for Elijah. He would never take advice from him if he saw that he was just as the Shadowhunter was. His job was to guide them in life and he would do so. He owed it after the deeds he had done. "I am concerned with your venture. Your chance of survival with just the two of you is...slight at best. The Clave would surely hear wind of any attempt to break a were from his pack. Not to mention how it may damage your brother to forcibly rip him from his alpha. The damage you've seen with Audrina would be nothing in comparison to what would inhibit Travis. It would kill him to remove him, Elijah. I hope you can understand this." He stated before stopping briefly to read the others eyes.

"I however cannot condone leaving your brother with this pack, seeing how you care for him. But I caution your want to involve the others. The Clave is watching Clary and Jace, though they may not know it. They are the children of a great evil and despite their work in preventing him from receiving the Cup, there is apprehension in their pureness of heart." Hodge informed lightly, keeping the real truth to himself. He should tell them, but found he could not. Valentine had bound him in a way, from ever telling the youths of their true heritage. "Involving them would only bring the Clave down upon you like a rain of fire. Be careful in how you step on this path. Whether you or she believes it fully, Audrina will stand by you and see this through. What happens thereafter is anybodies guess. Consider this as well in your thoughts." He said simply before he stopped and took a breath. feeling the overhwhelming sense of responsibility taking him.

He could see those walls the girl kept so firmly wrapped about herself had been crumbing in the presence of Eli. A significant improvement from previous times, but how long it would last he didn't know. He wanted to hope that she was changing, but that hatred was so fully wrapped around her heart she would not allow herself to let it go, to step away from this path of destruction for anyone, not even someone she was growing to care for. He had averted his eyes from the Shadowhunter as he thought about this, wondering if he should say it aloud for Eli or to keep it to himself. The youth wasn't stupid and could undoubtedly see it himself, but his hopes could go up and be crushed just as quickly by her when she came around. was it his job to protect him from this? He already had enough to handle with his brother, he didn't need to add these fears of Audrina to it. "She cares about you on some level. The progress is impeccable. Don't be phased when she shuts down. It's just her defending herself against something very...foreign to her." He added quietly as a form of encouragement to the Shadowhunter. He couldn't bring himself to say anything more on the matter, already feeling he'd played too much a hand in this venture.

[Serendipity]

Eli could feel the tiredness creep back beneath his eyelids, a sign that he still needed to rest like Audrina had said he would, but he felt too restless to simply close his eyes and fall asleep. Hodge was also still present and it would be rude to close his eyes on the elder shadowhunter when he still wanted to discuss things with him, even if it would understandable. It was an effort to keep his lids open, but he managed and kept his attention on Hodge who had pulled up a seat beside the bed, though his gaze would flicker to the door behind the man, anticipating Audrina’s return. Eli smirked just a little as Hodge explained why he’d waited until after Audrina was gone before he started this discussion with him and nodded in agreement. The blonde had been rather defensive, worry could do that, and it was clear by now that Audrina was worried for him. Maybe now she might feel what he did the last few times she had gone out vampire hunting.

He didn’t like what Hodge had to say, it wasn’t at all positive, definitely not a pep talk but he understood that Hodge needed to caution him about any plans he might make to get his brother free of the pack. It wasn’t going to be an easy task and the more Hodge talked the more he realised just how difficult this whole thing might really be; but Eli wasn’t about to give up, he would find a way to get Travis out. From what Hodge was saying next, it wouldn’t be wise to involve Jace or Clary in his plans and took that into consideration. Eli wasn’t aware of what the two had been through recently, there of course had been mild mention of what had happened here at the Institute - rumors spread fast- but Eli hadn’t dug for details since he felt it really didn’t concern him. He didn’t want any of them to get in trouble with the Clave because of him, he doubted he would even ask Alec or Isabelle for help. He couldn’t stand Alec anyway, and wasn’t sure if that would ever change.

“I appreciate your concerns, and I understand why you don’t want Clary and Jace involved. I’ll keep them out of it, and the other two, and if I could I would keep Audrina out of this also. But that’s not going to happen, everything will have to be thought through carefully.” Eli nodded slowly taking everything Hodge had said on board. He found at Hodge’s next sentence, although it was him only trying to encourage Eli not to give up on Audrina, it reminded him that she would shut down on him again, push him out once this was all over probably. Hodge explained that it was only a defensive mechanism for her, Eli had already suspected it was, but it still hurt when she did. “It’s still frustrating,” Eli sighed in response.

Hodge, seeming to have said what he needed to say rose from the chair and lightly patted Eli on the shoulder offering him a sympathetic smile. “I imagine it is. I’ll leave you to rest, Elijah.” He said before he turned and left Eli alone in the infirmary with his thoughts. Eli straightened his head on the pillows, gazing up at the roof as he waited for Audrina’s return, processing everything that Hodge had said, and the fact that Audrina was now involved and it would be near impossible to convince her otherwise. He couldn’t go behind her back with his plans either to keep her out of all this mess, she would hate him if he did that, so it looked like he had no choice but to involve her.

[Yunalesca]

"Making one of those for me?" Came from behind her and she nearly jumped which would have splashed grease all over her. She took a breath and turned her head to see Jace grinning at her slyly as he noticed he'd scared her. She shot him a dirty look and returned to finishing the bacon, flipping it so it wouldn't be burned on one side. "No, I'm not. Eli was hungry." Was all she said before she could think better of it. She could almost feel Jace thinking about what she said, reading deeper into the statement than she meant. She took a breath and shuffled the pieces of bacon as she prepared for their previous conversation to come up again. The blonde had been pushing her ever since he'd first seen how Eli felt about her.She knew he was having issues in his messed up love life, but he didn't need to be getting involved in hers. Not that she had a love life. She was just entertaining an idea until Eli was better and his brother was returned to him. This was what she kept telling herself even though she knew it was a lie. She did like him, but fully pursuing the venture was out of line. It wouldn't be fair to either of them. This reminded her of how she should be stopping it, putting a halt to the affectionate touches they shared, the look she knew Eli had seen from her. She'd almost kissed him on her own free will. She felt her cheeks flush at the memory and turned her face from Jace so he wouldn't see it.

"Finally stop running from it, then?" She heard Jace's voice softly behind her and she bit her lip, her eyes turning dark as she shut off the burner and removed the bacon to drain on some paper towel before adding it to the toasted bread. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm just returning a favor." She said flatly as she pulled two slices of bread from the toaster and reached for the lettuce and tomato she'd set out to be prepared. She rather aggressively pulled a knife from the drawer and began slicing the tomato into even slices. "You can eat this." She said, half throwing the plate of tomato slices at the counter Jace stood at, having removed the three slices she needed for Eli's BLT. She started shredding the head of lettuce after that, trying to control her feelings as she ripped the pieces off and cut them down to a proper size. The kitchen was quiet other than her ripping of the leaves from the head which clearly indicated her current frustration. "I'm not much of a vegetarian." Jace said to irritate her further for his own amusement. Her hands balled into fists before she took a breath to calm herself and started to stack the ingredients on the bread to finish the sandwich and get out of the kitchen before she punched him.

"Then don't eat it. I could care less." She said as she paused from grabbing the plate the sandwich was on and reached into the fridge as an afterthought. She would have eaten the sandwich plain as it was, but she didn't know how Eli would feel about that. Men generally liked to slather condiments all over their food, completely ruining the natural flavors that spoke from the dish. She grabbed the mustard, ketchup, and hot sauce from the fridge, not really sure what it was he would like on it. "See, that's the thing, you -do- care. You're worse at hiding it than Clary." Jace teased, having moved across the kitchen to stand right beside her. As she paused with the door of the fridge open, Jace reached in under her arm and grabbed an apple, retreating before she could hit him like he knew she would try. Her fist connected with empty air and she whirled to see Jace by the door, grinning at her while tossing the fruit in the air. She'd forgotten how fast he was, having not worked with him often enough to actually have that memory imprinted on her mind. Where Alec was brute strength, Jace was pure speed. She wondered how he would fare in a race against a vampire, but quickly tossed the thought from her mind. "I don't feel anything. I thought you were aware of that by now." She managed, face turning into a cold mask as she threw barriers into place rather forcibly. That dull ache began to surface the moment she did so, the headaches returning though they weren't as strong as before. She was thankful Magnus hadn't done more damage or she might never recover from them. Or maybe it was her own fault, having forced him from her mind as he'd tried establishing a block.

"Stop being so afraid." Was all Jace said before he was slipping out the kitchen door. Audrina stared after him, her hair sliding down in front of her eyes as she was shooting the door a nasty look as though it'd wronged her. I'm not afraid of anything she whispered in her head, but all she could hear was a mocking laughter. That was purest form of a lie she had ever thought and she knew it. Just because Jace had taken a chance and was willing to keep fighting for what he wanted didn't mean she could, didn't mean she wanted to. She'd taken leaps before and it'd gotten people killed. She turned away from the kitchen door and grabbed the plate with the BLT in one hand while sticking the plastic bottles of condiments between her arm and side.

With a bit of balance she managed to open the door to the infirmary and close it behind her with her foot. She quietly approached Eli's bed near the end of the hall, seeing his eyes had slipped closed. She thought about just leaving the food by his bed and walking back out, especially after how Jace had teased her, but his familiar blue eyes opened once more and looked to her. She felt her chest tighten just from that one look, the way the corner of his mouth twitched slightly as though he were about to laugh at private joke. Stop being so afraid echoed Jace's voice as she managed to look away from him and set the plate on his bedside table with the condiments. She stood nervously beside him then, feeling herself growing uncomfortable with how she was responding to him. It was foreign and invasive. Jace was right, she was terrified of it and didn't know how to handle it. "It's a BLT, it was the quickest thing I could make that might be a little more filling than peanut butter and jelly." She said with a soft smile before she slowly lowered herself to the chair Hodge had sat in beside his bed. She visibly kept a bit of distance between them, no longer reaching to touch him as she had before. She was struggling with herself too much to make that contact yet, to allow her reservations to dissipate at the mere touch of his hand. Her heart hammered in her chest as she averted her eyes from his once more.

[Serendipity]

It was only as he sensed another presence in the room moving towards him that he realised at some point after Hodge had left his eyes had closed. He hadn't been asleep, his mind awake and busy with thoughts behind his closed lids. It could have been anyone come to see how he was doing, but even before he slowly opened his eyes and turned his head slightly he knew it was Audrina. Just seeing her made his heart flutter, and a slow smile tugged at his lips when he noticed the plate she held that held food she had prepared for him. It all felt very familiar, although the roles had been reversed before. She set the plate down on the small table beside his bed, announcing that it was a BLT instead of the peanut butter and jelly he had said would do. As she sank down on the chair next to him he thought he saw her hesitate for a second. The moment they'd had before was gone, thanks to Hodge's interruption, and he could see the uncertainty in her gaze of whether she should stay or go. "Looks good. You didn't have to go to so much trouble though, but thanks." He smiled appreciatively.

Eli shifted his body into a sitting position up against the pillows and reached for the plate, it hurt a little to stretch across the bed for the plate and he tried not to wince. He'd had a punctured lung, or at least he'd suspected he had, and that wouldn't have healed completely in just a few hours, there was only so much a healing rune could do at once. Audrina wasn't looking at him as he sat the plate on his lap, she'd averted her gaze, probably still deciding whether she should stay or go. He remembered what Hodge had said before he left, that she would shut down when she felt she was getting too close. It was what she was doing now and he should have made her decision easier and told her she could go if she wanted to; but selfishly he didn't, because he wanted her to stay. Eli picked one slice of the BLT up and bit into it, not realising how hungry he had actually been until food was in front of him. He saw the mustard and other condiments Audrina had brought in with her, not that the sandwich needed any it was just fine the way it was. But he wanted her to look at him again, figure out what she was thinking behind those grey eyes of hers. "Can you pass the mustard please?" After he'd swallowed his first bite.

When she did his fingers brushed hers as he grabbed it from her, he felt that pleasant tingle he felt whenever he touched her and was aware of just how quickly it could turn into white hot burn through his entire body if he let his fingers linger longer. So he took the mustard from between her fingers and let them drop away from hers. He wanted her, even in his sore state; wanted to move his fingers further over hers and up her arm to her elbow, curl them around her limb and pull her onto the bed beside him. He wanted so badly to kiss her again, trace the lines of her face with his lips, down her neck and further still. It was almost an overwhelming burn deep down inside that seemed to get hotter every time he was near her.

Her expression has been blank when she had looked at him; only briefly showing some annoyance probably at the fact he'd decided to ruin the BLT she'd made for him with mustard. Eli only put a small amount on each section before he set it aside on the table, not asking her to take it from him, if he touched her again he might not let go this time. He distracted himself with finishing off the first half of the sandwich then decided the silence was too much. "Hodge said we shouldn't involve Jace or Clary, I think he's right. I also think we should leave Alec and Isabelle out if it too." Eli informed her a little of what Hodge had said whilst she was gone, and his own thoughts on it.

"I guess it's up to us to come up with a plan, it might not be fair to involve Luke either and I wouldn't hold it against him if he didn't help, but we'll need it." It was hard to say the words 'us' and 'we'll' when Eli didn't want Audrina in the middle of any of this either. But if not for her help, and if Luke refused, he would stand alone against the pack and next time he very much doubted he'd get out alive. Eli had to force himself to finish the rest of his food which had become a struggle to eat all of a sudden.

Dying had never frightened Eli before, not after he'd lost almost everyone he cared about and then finding out his brother was presumed dead. He'd had his brother to live for, look out for, and although he had worried about what Travis would do left on his own, he hadn't been afraid of dying. But now the thought of going up against Maddox and not making it out alive frightened the hell out of him, and it was all because of the woman sitting beside him. Because what would happen to her if he was no longer around, who would be there to ease her nightmares away, who else would try and get through to her, protect her?

She would hate that he was thinking such things because she wouldn't like that despite all her efforts to block him out, he hadn't and wouldn't stop trying. Audrina would surely shy away from him further if she knew he worried about her like that, if she knew he was more afraid of her getting hurt or worse then he was of his own well-being.

[Yunalesca]

She watched him reach for the plate of food and felt herself bite the inside of her lip. She should've handed it to him, the movements clearly causing pain, but her want for distance had outweighed what discomfort he might feel at stretching for the plate. He of course tried not to show this to her but she could see it. There were more injuries than what she'd seen when she'd come into the infirmary. All she'd been privy to was the blood and few scratches that hadn't fully healed from the rune one of the others had applied to him. Who knew the extent of his injuries and she should've thought more of him than herself. He was the one in the infirmary after all and had taken excellent care of her when she'd been in this position. Stop being so afraid echoed in her mind again and she stifled an irritable sigh as Jace's voice in her head. He was going to drive her mad, Eli was going to drive her mad. Actually all of them would if she didn't take care of her own problems soon.

As he asked for the mustard she gingerly reached for it and offered it to him. "It was no trouble. Quite simple...really." She said in response to his first statement, her voice tapering off and losing potency as his fingers brushed hers. She felt it again, that spark that'd run through her veins the last time she'd touched him. It made her voice falter and she hoped he didn't notice, although nobody could miss how she'd practically lost it at the end. If he did bring it up she'd merely play it off as something tickling her throat and affecting her voice. He had seen what he could do to her, how he'd made her melt into his arms when they'd first kissed, but she didn't want him to remember it. Distance was going to be her friend, closeness her enemy. She shifted her expression quickly to one of annoyance in an attempt to hide the reality of the situation. That was a familiar expression to him and he'd never question it. She sat back against the chair again and took calming breaths to soothe her racing heart.

She brought her eyes back to him when he finally spoke, the silence seemingly having been too hard for him. "Hodge is probably right. I don't want the Lightwoods in this business either. I don't trust Alec and Isabelle can be a little too flashy. They'd remember her for sure if they did choose to run to the Clave." She said rather flatly as she thought back on how Alec had come to her door to apologize. A 'sorry' wasn't going to cut it for her. He'd asked someone to invade her mind and erase her memories. No matter what he thought or how he felt about her it'd been wrong. There was probably something about it that'd been against the law, but Audrina wasn't about to bring that down on him. She took care of things herself, her punching him being the case in point. She didn't want the Clave crawling all over it and remembering she was still alive. They'd question her fully about her sister and mother if that came to pass. She wasn't so eager to be answering their questions.

She didn't miss how he used the words 'us' and 'we'll', including her and making her an equal in this venture. It made a part of her warm before she quickly squashed it. "Luke will likely do what he can. It's a very careful line he'll be straddling by involving his pack. It could start a war. They'll have to be in the shadows. We'll be breaking the Accords, but it wouldn't be a first for me. I don't intend to let anyone live to tell the Clave what exactly we'd done." She explained before noticing Eli had finished the food. Without thinking she reached for the plate and gently took it from his hands. Her hand brushed his once more and she almost dropped the plate. Her eyes shot to his to see if he noticed as she paused before she quickly set the plate back on the nightstand.

"That's enough talking about it for today, though. If I recall, you were sleeping when I came back. And someone did once tell me sleep was the best medicine. Or something like that." She said after a brief pause and a hint of teasing in her voice. Why was she relapsing again? She'd been telling herself to keep a distance and yet she was doing the opposite. She was letting him in again and she shouldn't be. It's just so he trusts me enough to bring me along to help. Then I'll have the ability to sneak away was what she told herself, though most of it was true it was also a lie. She liked having him inside her walls when she should be thrusting him out. "You want your own bed? That helped...me." She felt herself losing her voice again as she remembered how they'd slept together when she'd been recovering almost a day ago. She could almost feel him wrapped around her again like a cocoon and a moment of panic hit her. She couldn't do that in his bed, couldn't step back in that room. She felt she did owe him, but she couldn't bring herself to actually go back in there. She remembered what he'd wanted from her the last time and it made her fearful. He wouldn't be thinking that way this time, but it was still a memory attached to that room.

[Serendipity]

He’d noticed the way her words had suddenly tapered off and lost their potency when their fingers brushed, and knew she’d felt that same spark as he had, but bringing it up in conversation would only have her denying she felt anything for him and he couldn’t hear that right now. His eyes had dropped to their touching fingers momentarily before he’d lifted them back to her face, if he only had her expression to go by he’d never have guessed if she’d felt that spark, her features only conveying annoyance, an expression he was used to seeing from Audrina. It was rare for her to show anything other than annoyance and anger towards him, but lately it hadn’t been all that rare but he had a feeling it would become so again as much as he didn’t want that to be the case.

Eli nodded as she agreed with what he’d said about not getting the others involved, they were on the same page in that department which was a good start, but there was bound to be something they would disagree on in this venture soon enough. He would just have to try not to be so stubborn and listen to any ideas she might have, and hoped she would too, because he didn’t like arguing with her. It would certainly test their ability to work together as a team, they were either going to be a disaster or they could work really well together.

“I know,” He nodded at the mention of the fine line Luke would be standing on if he did decide to help, and he knew they would be breaking the Accords by interfering with the pack even if it was to help his brother. He wasn’t concerned about that, although he probably should have been at least a little; they could lock him away for the rest of his life if they found out, but he’d take that punishment and anything else they threw at him if it meant his brother was free of Maddox’s hold. He was brought out of these thoughts as Audrina reached to take his now empty plate from his lap, once again their fingers brushed and he felt that warm tingle and caught her gaze and saw that she’d felt it too and almost smiled if it weren’t for the way she snatched her hand away and set the plate aside. Eli sighed and felt like rolling his eyes, a habit Audrina was bringing out in him more and more, but didn’t.

At the slightly teasing note in her voice he did have to smile. “This person, whoever they may be, if very wise indeed. Sleep is the best medicine.” Eli’s smile turned into a small grin. He could feel how tired his body was, and he’d been fighting off sleep since he’d found Audrina sitting by his side, but there came a point where his body would take over and he’d pass out against his will. He raised a brow as she suggested if it would help if he was in his own bed as it had for her. The infirmary wasn’t the most pleasant of places, and although he hadn’t quite made his room his own yet because he hadn’t been planning to stay permanently, the bed was a lot more comfortable. “Good idea,” He murmured and carefully peeled away the blankets from his legs. His jeans were still in place, luckily, he hadn’t thought to check before he’d pulled the blanket off, but his boots had been removed probably at the same time as his shirt.

He carefully swung his legs over the side of the bed, trying not to wince as he had to twist the top half of his body so he sat on the edge of the bed. His legs were okay, they didn’t hurt, it was mostly from his waist up that ached, so he should have been able to walk on his own without Audrina’s help. Slowly Eli slid off the bed, his bare feet gently touching the ground, and he stood there for a moment before stepping any further in case he was weaker than he first thought. Once he was sure he wouldn’t stumble, he took a step away from the bed and almost sighed in relief when his knees didn’t give out. “Alright, I think I can walk on my own.” He announced and turned to see if she was coming, although he shouldn’t have expected her to. She didn’t need to come to his room with him, and after what had happened in that very room whilst he;d been drunk he doubted she’d step foot in there again. “I’m sure you’ve got better things to do then watch me sleep, so I can come find you tomorrow and we can talk more then,” Eli informed her, giving her an out because she might have felt uncomfortable walking him to his room, and was probably worried he’d invite her in.

[Yunalesca]

As Eli began to make movements to get out of bed, Audrina felt herself rise quickly from the chair in case he needed her. He's fine! that defensive voice in her head stated as she watched him cautiously, ready to grab hold of him should he falter. She had no idea the extent of his internal injuries and couldn't be sure that he was really going to be able to stand and move about so easily on his own. He then voiced he could make it on his own, but she still didn't move from a rather protective stance. "You sure?" She questioned, brows furrowed as she scanned him for signs of pain or losing his balance. It was in that moment that she remembered gently wiping the cloth over his bare chest to swipe away the blood. His body was impeccable and she felt herself stop breathing again. She hated when Jace walked around without a shirt on because he did it to get a rise out of her. SHe had never looked at Jace like this, however. She'd never noticed Jace like this. She managed to take a breath and avert her eyes as though she were thinking about whether she should be stripping the bed to be washed or not. The moment her eyes left his bare torso she felt her temperature come back under control and the pink fade from her cheeks. Please don't have let him see it her mind begged to whatever higher being there could be. She'd shown enough weakness today. She'd given him enough of herself.

When he spoke again she brought her attention back to him, having formed a protective barrier to keep from slipping again. He was giving her the option to walk away now and stay away from the room she had just been thinking about. He remembered what'd happened and seemed to understand her apprehension in walking with him to his room. She wondered if he felt regret for what had happened that night. She wondered what he felt about everything that'd happened that night; what he'd said, how he'd fought for her, how she'd looked when she'd danced with him. Don't do this to yourself she thought and cast the questions aside. She would never ask for the answers. It would be too painful no matter what was said. She swallowed the lump in her throat and brought her attention back from the faraway place. "If you think you can make it, I should clean this up. Tomorrow sounds good." She managed quietly as her mind still wandered. She had only just remembered the basin of his blood sitting on the counter and used it as an excuse to not walk with him. She didn't want to be given the chance to ask him those questions, for she knew she would cave and press on with it if she were left alone with him like that. She dropped her gaze from him again and moved to start stripping the sheets from the bed he'd been resting in. "Have a good nap." She said and cursed herself quietly afterward. Who said that?

*

The act of cleaning up after Eli had forced a calming effect on her, surprisingly. It gave her time to think which was generally a bad thing, though this time it wasn't so. After she'd loaded the plate from his dinner into the dishwasher and started the cycle to clean the load inside, she found herself rather tired. Her limp had decreased during her cleaning and she would have normally taken it as a promising sign and tested her limits by going out, but instead she retired quietly to her room. She hadn't seen any of the others after Eli had gone and was glad for it. She didn't want to get into another fight with any of them or have to answer questions about what was going on with her, which she was sure they were probably thinking. She had been uncharacteristic since she'd woken from the poison infection and part of her wondered if it were side effects from Magnus having been in her mind. She knew it wasn't true, however. Ever since she'd let Eli touch her, since he'd kissed her, she had been thinking differently and surely acting differently. It was him, it wasn't because of anything else. She vaguely remembered her mother saying something about this when she'd been a girl, but couldn't remember exactly what it had been. Unable to remember it, she'd stripped down into sleeping shorts and a tank top before crawling under her covers and closing her eyes. The last thing she saw was Eli's smile in her mind before she scrunched her brows to scare it away.

*

She managed to sleep through the whole night without a nightmare or waking unexpectedly. She couldn't remember the last time this had happened and chalked it up to being severely exhausted. She had done so little since waking up from the demon attack and shouldn't be so tired, but she was. SHe knew it was a mental drain more than anything. Her struggle with Eli and what he did to her was the root of it all. It wasn't anything that could be helped until after she'd helped bring his brother back. Sighing, she rolled out of bed and pulled on some clothes, a tank under a blue mesh top [url= www.heavyred.com/OCEAN-S-BLUE-STRIA...OVER-p/2375.htm](here)[/url] and leather pants. She found her wound had become fully healed on the surface, though a minor scar would always be where the demon had bit her along with the iratze rune outline that had now fully worn away from its black color.

She had been walking down the hall with intent to get breakfast, to actually leave the Institute for the first time in nearly a week, when she found herself pausing outside Eli's door. She should keep going, let him sleep and let him catch up with her later about his brother, but she paused for some reason. Keep going her mind urged, but she found she couldn't. Instead she turned to the door and knocked softly, holding her breath as she did so. "Eli?" She called somewhat softly from behind the door, wondering if maybe he was already gone and she was the last to rise.

[Serendipity]

He had given her the out, told her he didn't need her help to get to his room even as she'd seemed willing to do just that, it didn't make him any less disappointed when she clung to it like it was her only lifeline. A reminder that although she felt something for him, and he knew that she did, she still wasn't willing to give into it and give herself up to him. He saw the way she was looking at him, the flush came to her cheeks out of her own embarrassment for realising she was, in fact, looking but not out of some kind of annoyance this time. Audrina was afraid to give in to him, give in to anyone; afraid to let herself care for people or be cared for by them. This wasn't knew information for Eli, Hodge had told him as much and he'd figured it out for himself also. It wasn't any less frustrating to know it though.

Eli nodded, keeping his expression light, as she explained she would clean up. His eyes drifted over the bed he'd been on, then to the basin of rags and water which were red with what he could only assume was his blood. Eli knew it was only an excuse, who would really want to clean that type of thing up, if anyone it should have been him it was his blood after all. It would be pointless to tell her that she didn't need to be the one to clean up, she would do it anyway to keep herself from walking him to his room. "Okay," He said before he turned and slowly walked away and out of the infirmary.

He might have been able to walk by himself or without a limp but walking to his room had still taken a fair amount of effort. He hadn't healed completely yet, although his bruises had faded and so had the slashes across his chest, his body still ached from bearing it had taken. He would be fine tomorrow, and better again the following day, once the iratzes had finished their job and after he rested some more. He hadn't been wounded by a demon like Audrina had so his healing was a quicker process.

Eli sank down onto his bed once in his room and laid back against the pillows, not bothering to attempt to remove his jeans or take a shower. He could shower later, right now he just wanted to close his eyes and forget everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Like it could be that easy, but he tried anyway.

---

Eli's dreams at first had been non-existent, he'd fallen straight to sleep, exhaustion taking over; it wasn't until the early hours of the morning that his dreams came. He thought they'd be about his brother, or perhaps his parents because that's what they usually were about. Instead the dream that he fell into was of Audrina, which shouldn't have been all that surprising, she'd been on his mind a lot lately. He was in a kitchen flipping something in a sizzling pan, it wasn't the institute kitchen though, and Audrina sat on the counter top away from the stove; she was swinging her legs idly back and forth, every now and then her heel would lightly hit the cupboard, and she had her head turned in his direction watching him with some amusement. "What's so funny?" Eli questioned seeing the amusement in her eyes and she appeared to be holding back laughter.

"Your doing it wrong," Audrina replied with a smirk full of mirth pointing to the pan. Eli looked down at the sizzling pan and frowned. "It's a pancake, what could be wrong with how I'm cooking a pancake?" He looked back over to her and she laughed, a sound that he could never get enough of and warmed him through. "The batter. It's too thick, they won't cook through properly before they burn." She pointed out. He knew his cooking skills weren't as advance as hers but how could you mess up pancakes? Obviously he had and she'd waited until his third one before commenting. "The other too aren't burnt," he replied defensively but his tone was light. "I bet there not cooked through," Audrina returned still smirking.

"You do it then." He said and turned off the stove because they'd need to make more batter. "No." Eli raised a brow and turned towards her. "No?" He repeated and a slow grin appeared on his lips, his next words taking on a seductive note as he slowly moved over to where she sat on the counter. "Why not? Unless...you prefer to skip breakfast altogether," He stood in front of her now and placed his hands ontop of eitherside of her thighs, her skin growing warm under his touch. "No!" She laughed again, this time shaking her head, hair falling into her eyes. "You said..." Her words tapered off as his hands smoothed their way up her thighs, distracting her. She was still wearing her pajama shorts and one of his t-shirts; her legs were otherwise bare. Audrina cleared her throat and tried again, pretending not to notice that he'd stepped closer, putting himself between her legs. "You said you were cooking breakfast this morning. Why should I do it just because you ruined it?" She managed.

"Because..." He drawled softly his hands making their way up to her hips, her sides and neck before he was gently cupping her face in his hands. "You..." He pulled her face down to his, "Love me." Eli finished and captured her lips with his. "Yes." He heard her breath between kisses and her fingers were delving into his dark hair. Eli's hands dropped from her face and encircled her waist and when her legs wrapped around his hips he lifted her from the counter.

"Forget about breakfast..." He murmured against her mouth.

Eli's eyes sprung open, his heart pounding a hole in his chest and sat up against the pillows. His hands sunk into his hair pushing in back from his forehead as he sucked in a deep breath. He hadn't ever dreamed of Audrina, not like that, nothing that felt as real as that and he was sure if he hadn't pulled himself from the dream it would have continued to a whole other level. He felt hot all over just thinking about it. His chest heaved in and out rapidly and he swung his legs off the bed to stand up. Heading straight for the bathroom, he stripped off his jeans and stepped under the cool spray of the shower in an attempt to wash away the images of that dream.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing under the spray for when he heard a knock at his bedroom door and a muffled voice. His heart had slowed to a steady pace now and thanks to the cold water his skin had cooled; and it was only now that he realised, although a little stiff, he no longer felt sore all over. The knock sounded again and the voice louder this time. Eli sighed and quickly shut off the water to go and see who it was knocking on his door. He stepped out of the shower, grabbing his towel by the door as he did so and wrapped it around his waist. Water still dripped from his hair as he walked out of the bathroom, if who ever was knocking didn't sound so impatient he would have taken thirty seconds to dry himself off.

Eli should have guessed who it was standing on the otherside of his door before he opened it. The dream was still so vivid in his mind and seeing her now sent a sizzle of electricity through him. He had to step back from the door before he step forward closer to her instead. "Audrina..." Eli said her name full of longing, remembering the dream, wondering if it could ever be like that between them; he cleared his throat quickly realising how it sounded. "Sorry, I was in the shower." Apologising for not answering the door straight away. Although it wouldn't have been hard for her to guess, he was still dripping wet with only a towel around his hips.

[Yunalesca]

It was after her second attempt that the door to his room opened. She'd been about to turn away, but heard the turn of the knob and stopped. "Eli..." She'd started until she saw what he was wearing, or not wearing rather. Her voice caught in her throat and she stopped breathing as he stood there dripping and making her feel things that were very foreign to her. She felt herself flush in embarassment as she finally made her eyes stop being so wide and closed her gaping mouth. "By the angel don't you have any clothes?!" She hissed as her heart hammered in her chest and she felt herself flush further when her eyes wandered down his wet abdomen. She quickly brought a hand up to cover her eyes and turn to the side so he wasn't in her line of sight anymore. She'd just very obviously checked him out and she was sure he'd caught her. How could he not? The only thing that could've been more obvious was a pair of binoculars. "I..." She started to stammer before taking a breath and sighing irritably.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to come to breakfast. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were..." She started, her voice shaky at best as she stammered through her attempt at talking. Why couldn't she speak? He was just in a towel. And nothing else her mind teased and she flushed again. She took another breath before trying again. "Whenever you're dressed just...come find me in the library." She said before she was rushing off, not waiting for a reply as her hand was kept up at the side of her face to hide him from her sight as she retreated quickly across the hall and toward the library. She couldn't get the image of him out of her mind, standing there looking like the most intoxicating statue she could imagine. Stop! she screamed in her mind at her imagination. This was the exact opposite of how she should be reacting and feeling. She should be thoroughly repulsed at his nakedness, but she wasn't. Instead she was entertaining ideas she shouldn't be. What was happening to her?

She closed the door of the library and pressed her back to the wood, thumping her head back against it as though it would help dispel the thoughts that swam in her vision. She could have thrown inhibitions in that moment. Were she not a strong woman she might have. She was sure Eli was unused to anyone denying him, pushing him away and being able to walk away from the possibilities as he stood there in only a towel, still dripping from an apparent shower. Maybe if she weren't still a virgin she might have let it happen, but that latent fear of the unknown may have been the main thing that stopped her. As she thought of this a vision of them entangled in his sheets hit her and she pushed from the door agressively and started down the stairs with a growl. She was not having sexual feelings for him. He was just a guy who would no longer be a part of her life after she helped him with his brother. She had to remember the purpose, she had to remember all she'd been through.

Her thoughts sobered as she fell into a chair at the reading table and thumped her elbows on the wood, hands up and beckoning for her head to rest on them. She closed her eyes and let her head fall into her fingers. She didn't want him. He'd been after her since he'd laid eyes on her, she would not crumble to him. She knew his kind. They'd get what they wanted and leave. She remembered what he'd said before, how he'd threatened to be gone by the time she let him in. If he only wanted her for sex he was the most patient man she'd ever met. But why, why would anyone like him want her? Was it because she denied him and he enjoyed the chase or was it something more? He'd sat with her in the infirmary for four days, had cuddled her close to chase away any nightmares without obvious intention of anything more. Not once since they'd gone to the club had he tried to force himself upon her, and even then he hadn't been forceful. We see how he looks at you, I can see how you look at him echoed Jace's voice and she squeezed her eyes tighter closed. Eli cared about her and it was dangerous, for them both. She shouldn't keep this going, she should break his heart and be done with it, but she couldn't. She enjoyed his company. Somewhere along the line annoyance had become infatuation. She was being flooded with emotion and could barely handle it. She cared about him whether she approved or not.

[Serendipity]

If it weren't for the dream he'd woken from; a dream that involved the very woman standing outside his door he mightn't have been so taken aback as she hissed at him about not owning any clothes. The Audrina in his dreams hadn't minded how close he'd gotten to her, hadn't minded his hands on her flesh, hadn't protested when he'd kissed her and had been more than willing to let him carry her off somewhere -which he could only guess involved a bedroom. But this Audrina minded very much that he was all but naked if it weren't for the towel. Though he hadn't missed the way her eyes had traveled over his abdomen and the flush that came to her cheeks; and how could he not miss when he hands came up to cover her eyes to protect them from the sight of him. A few weeks ago he would have taken pleasure in seeing her flush and sputter over him, and would have said something rather brazen in response to her reaction. Now after getting to know her he only frowned at himself for not putting some clothes on before answering the door. “Sorry, the knocking sounded a little impatient otherwise I would have dressed first.” He apologised again.

The last thing he wanted her to think was that he’d somehow answered the door just in his towel on purpose to try and irritate her. Once upon a time that probably would have been the case; but now, although he couldn’t be one hundred percent sure, he had never asked, he suspected that one of the reasons why she shied away from intimate situations or just someone without his shirt on was because she was a virgin. As far as he knew she hadn’t allowed anyone to get close to her since she was a child when her entire world had been shattered by the death of her sister and her mother had been turned. Therefore he could only assume she had never had a boyfriend and he could probably safely bet that she’d never had a lover either. It wasn’t long ago that he’d determined this, after Hodge had spoken to him in the weapons room about her past, and since then he’d been more considerate in what he did and said to her - at least he’d hoped he had, sometimes the things he said just seemed to come out regardless of his attempts to stop it.

At the mention of her coming to see if he wanted breakfast, Eli thought he felt his own cheeks flush as the memory of the dream wasn’t far from his mind and in it he had been attempting to make her breakfast. It was only a dream, it’s never going to happen anyway so get a grip. A voice inside his head chided irritably. Before he could respond with a reply Audrina was shaking her head and quickly dismissing herself, telling him he could find her in the library once he was dressed. “Aud-” He started to say her name again, but she was rushing off down the hall before he could finish; clearly she didn’t want to be around his semi naked self any longer. Eli sighed and cursed himself silently for always doing or saying something, even if it was completely unintentional, that only made her push herself further from him. He shut his bedroom door and quickly dried himself off before searching for clothes to wear for the day. He found a pair of black slacks and put them on before he shrugged on a matching black shirt. As he’d lifted his arms through the shirt he felt his chest contract disapprovingly towards the action, but had ignored it. Eli pulled on a black hoodie next, feeling like he should put on an extra layer of clothing to make up for his earlier semi nakedness in front of Audrina.

He found a pair of sneakers in the bottom of his wardrobe, pulling them on his feet instead of his boots because they were still in the infirmary. He’d have to collect them later but right now he had no need for them. The shadowhunter combed his fingers through his hair so it didn’t sit flat in some places before he left his room and made his way to the library. He didn’t rush to get there, deciding to take his time, he needed to get his thoughts under control, focussed on making plans to rescue his brother and not about the dream he’d had. Thinking of his brother seemed to do the trick, he was the most important thing to concentrate on now, and the dream faded from the forefront of his mind. It had already been at least twelve hours, or maybe more, since he’d left Travis behind at the meat factory and anything could have happened in that time. Eli was back at wondering if he was alive or dead; not knowing if the pack had found out Travis had helped Eli escape and had killed him for it.

Eli reached the library and opened the door, slowly stepping inside the room as his eyes scanned for any sign of Audrina. He saw her sitting at one of the tables waiting for him, though she didn’t look up as he entered the room. He moved towards her and sat down across from her, putting distance between them because he felt like he had to, the moment they’d had in the infirmary was long gone now and sitting right next to her might have only irritated her. “So...where should we start then?” He asked, getting straight to the reason why they were both here in the library. They had to make plans to get Travis out from the pack, nothing else, Eli had to remind himself of that.

[Yunalesca]

She heard Eli before she saw him, letting her head still rest on her hands before he took a seat across from her. She couldn’t hide behind her hands forever. She was a grown woman who should know how to behave better than this. She took a breath before bringing her head up and looking at him. He got right to the point when he did finally speak, immediately jumping to the plotting in getting his brother free of the alpha. She was still struggling with what had just occured at his room to be thinking effectively about what they should do about Travis. She took another break and pulled at the sleeves of her lace top, draping the hem over her fingers and crossing her arms as though she were cold. In reality she was, but she felt it was more to do with the heart stopping realization that she cared for him than it actually being cold in the library. "Well," she started and sighed, her eyes dropping before she forced them up to him again. He deserved her attention even if looking at him made her heart pound. If she could manage to keep that out of her eyes it'd be a miracle, but she had to somehow. This was about him and Travis, not about her.

"I don't really know a whole lot about weres, to be honest. Luke's really the first I've dealt with more than once. Any other run in was happenstance. I could go on all day about vamps..." She said and stopped herself. He knew that and she shouldn't be bringing it up. Reminding both him and herself about her original motives was not wise. She took a breath and skimmed over whatever she had meant to say next. "They might lead normal lives like Luke during the day. They could be out working and leave him behind, though getting him out the gate without hurting him is the challenge. We're going to have to either persuade the alpha to let him go, unlikely, or dispatch him. The latter would probably bring about the attention of the Clave, however. We might get lucky with their visual aides being stretched thin with Valentine on the loose." She offered before sighing again and running a hand through her hair. None of her ideas were very good and she knew it. She was still too distracted with what had happened earlier to be thinking critically about this situation, and that was a problem. She felt she owed Eli for keeping her memories intact and this was the best way to repay him. Focus her mind pressed and she could only sigh back to the voice. She couldn't. For the first time in forever she couldn't focus on the matters at hand while her mind wandered to other things.

"I'm sorry. I'm not helping." She apologized in frustration as she tried to tap into the critical thinking part of her brain which only seemed to bring the headache back, something she had hoped had left her finally. Whenever she forced something into play, the migraine stabbed her painfully through the forehead and she had to close her eyes to keep from losing her lunch. She did this now, hand flying to just above the bridge of her nose to rub at the sore spot in hopes to make the pain go away. She had thought to approach Magnus and demand to know what he'd done, but hadn't seriously considered it until now. He'd done damage somewhere and it was affecting her at inopportune times. It could get her killed if one of the blinding migraines struck when she was in the middle of a battle. She could almost imagine vampire teeth sinking into her neck when she crumbled from a mere headache, which in turn made her shudder slightly. It was always one problem after another. This was what happened when someone thought they were helping you and didn't bother to consult first.

The headache began to fade under her fingertips and she slowly opened her eyes anew, her hand dropping away as she looked to Eli. "I can't think straight right now. My offer still stands on breakfast if you want. Getting out of here and into the air might clear my thoughts, maybe jog my imagination." She offered rather suddenly, not even sure where the statement had come from. It was true that she did need to get out of the Institute for a while to see how she could handle being out in the real world again after being cooped up for a week. But what she wasn't quite admitting to was the fact inside she really just wanted to spend time with him alone in public. They'd had plenty of moments alone together recently which always led to her shirking away and leaving him disappointed. Maybe if she went somewhere public with him he wouldn't have those expectations and she would be a little more hospitable. The last time you were hospitable you kissed him on your own free will her mind taunted and she brushed it aside.

[Serendipity]

Eli had thought it would be better to get straight to discussing the plan, idle chit chat between them always seemed to lead to the sticky conversations about him wanting her to let him in and her telling him it wouldn't happen. He wanted to ask her why she'd been there when he'd woken up in the infirmary, why she'd cleaned his wounds but that would lead to one of those sticky conversations. She was willing to help him freeing his brother from Maddox's pack, and since he didn't have a lot of other options when it came to help he couldn't not let her be involved as much as he'd rather keep her out of it, for her own safety. Nor could he jeopardise her helping him by asking her those questions which was why he'd gotten straight to the plotting.

Audrina seemed to know as much as he did about werewolves, which wasn't much; if it were a vampire problem they could come up with a solution in no time, Audrina had just stated as much. She went on to explain that the weres might lead normal lives during the day and she could be right, but that was a risk he wasn’t willing to take, even if some of them did it wouldn’t mean all of them would. “Killing Maddox ourselves mightn’t be the best idea.” Eli pointed out, though it seemed like the easiest solution it was probably the worst one. He frowned as she pinched the bridge of her nose, her eyes dropping from his to the table for a moment before she looked back up at him. Her headache was back, he’d noticed that she was getting them a lot lately ever since Magnus had tried to put a block in her mind. The warlock might not have succeeded with the block, but whilst he was inside her head who knew what damage he’d done.

He felt anger again at what Magnus and Alec had attempted to do and wished he’d discovered their plan sooner and stopped them before Magnus had ever had a chance to penetrate her thoughts. He wished there was something he could do for her to help with the headaches, but she’d refused anything from Hodge and probably wouldn’t take asprin for it. Eli sighed a little to himself and resisted the urge to reach across and take her hand. Not that touching her would rid her of her headache, although it might have distracted her from it. He shook his head as she apologised, she had nothing to be sorry for. “It’s alright, you don’t have to apologise. I’m not so good at this either,” He told her, offering a small smile of reassurance.

Eli blinked, a little surprised by her next sentence, and the mention of breakfast reminded him again of the dream he’d had which he quickly pushed aside, swallowing the dryness suddenly in his mouth. “Sure. The fresh air might do me some good too.” He nodded, and now that he thought about it he realised she hadn't left the Institute in well over a week. Spending some time outside the Institute would hopefully do them both the world of good, even if it meant they were spending it together. He smiled and pushed his chair back so he could stand, “Come on, I know this great diner about a block away.” He announced and waited for Audrina to stand.

“How’s your leg? Are you up for the walk?” He asked gently, he’d noticed her still limping a little when she’d left the infirmary the other night, he didn’t want to make her leg worse but walking on it more might help.

[Yunalesca]

AS he accepted her offer she felt something inside her brighten. Apparently him wanting to go to eat with her had mattered more than she previously thought. I am not getting the warm fuzzies! she thought quickly in irritation before trying to hide the bit of elation that’d creeped into her eyes. It was cruel to let him see how he could make her happy by merely accepting her invitation to breakfast. She would break his heart if he didn’t do it to her first. This was something she always reminded herself of, but seemed to not care when she was around him. It wasn’t so easy being cold in his presence anymore. She wasn’t the same woman who’d brought him back bloody after being attacked by vampires. That person wouldn’t have been entertaining all these ideas or even imagined him sleeping in her bed with her. She would have to morph back into that personality before she went for her mother, but it would be later. She could have these moments before she died, couldn’t she? She pushed the morbid thoughts away and began to stand slowly, still being careful of how quickly she moved due to the still healing demon bite on her leg. She felt much better, but her confidence in her movements still hadn’t come back completely.

Eli seemed to have sensed this as he questioned how she was healing and whether she could handle walking to this diner he knew of. She so rarely ate out anywhere that she didn’t know if she could have found a breakfast diner for them to eat at and was glad he knew of one. Though that did raise the question to her of how he knew of one. Maybe he’d been in the city longer than she previously thought before she came across him. Of course she’d never actually asked so she had no real idea of knowing how long he had been in Brooklyn before their paths crossed. “There’s only one real way to know, and I have no intentions of staying in these walls another day without stepping foot in the real world. I never was one to enjoy being retained.” She commented before smiling slightly at a memory of her parents trying to ground her. She didn’t quite remember what she’d done, probably broke something, but she did remember slipping out her window the moment their backs were turned. She’d escaped to the dance studio in town for hours before they really noticed. She hadn’t been too smart in her venture. They knew where she’d go, but they never did try telling her what to do again.

She skimmed around the tables edge and started for the stairs ahead of Eli even though he was the one who knew the location of this breakfast diner he spoke of. She had never been much of a follower either, which she was sure he was beginning to figure out. “I just hope this diner is as good as you seem to think it is. I’d hate to make a scene to their chef.” She said smartly, tossing a joking smirk over her shoulder at him as she pulled open the library door. She may be prideful when it came to food, but she wasn’t one to openly criticize another chef, especially if she may possibly get stuck going to their restaurant again. Leaving a plate full of food sometimes served the point better than belittling someone in front of a crowd. And as much of an ice queen she could be, she couldn’t find it in her heart to bestow that kind of embarrassment on someone. Being a chef in America was far different than from where she was from. “If I go outside and the leaves have fallen I’m going to be very upset.” She stated as they walked down the hall toward the main doors of the Institute. She knew she hadn’t been kept inside long enough for the seasons to change, but it felt like it to her.

“I should show you how to get back in sometime after you find your stele again. If you’re going to be staying a while longer that is.” She offered as she remembered he’d lost his stele once more and managed to sneak a question into the statement without actually asking it. She wanted to know if he was going to stick around longer or if he’d be going back to London when this was all over. It wasn’t particularly her business, nor should she care, but she found she did. She was too prideful to ask it outright, however. She shouldn’t want him to stay, knowing how things were going to end for herself, but she was back to entertaining things she would never have. In these moments alone together she was finding things were coming easy, they weren’t bickering, and he seemed to have learned what would tick her off.

[Serendipity]

He shouldn't have been too excited about actually going out somewhere with her for breakfast, he knew it wasn't a date or anything; they both just needed to get out of the Institute and clear their heads. He couldn't help being little excited though, apart from the club some nights ago this was the first time they'd been anywhere that didn't involve slaying vampires or demons and it was a nice feeling especially since their relationship had changed. She no longer hated the very sight of him and he had stopped trying to irritate her at every chance he got. They'd gotten closer despite Audrina's efforts not to and thanks to his persistence. He hadn't given up, his goal changing from wanting her for only one night to wanting her all the time, and even though he hadn't got there yet he wasn't giving up.

But it wasn't just about the psychical stuff for Eli, not anymore, although it was there smacking him in the face all the time with dreams or brief touches. He wondered if she was aware of it, that he has changed his game so to speak and was now actually trying to get to know her...when she allowed him to. "I'll guess we'll see," He smiled. He hoped the walk wouldn't be too strenuous on her leg, but he supposed if she didn't keep walking on it it would never get back to its normal strength. She seemed to want to take the lead and Eli let her, he'd never had a problem following Audrina for many different reasons...don't you dare screw this up!, his mind screamed and he quickly made sure he kept his eyes level with more appropriate areas of Audrina's back. Eli chuckled and shook his head at the comment she made about the diner, Audrina the food critique, he thought. "It's been decent the last few times I've been there, coffees good." He informed her evenly as he followed her down the hall. He lengthened his strides so that he fell into step beside her, deciding there should be no issue with them walking side by side right?

"You haven't been stuck in here that long," Eli laughed again at her mutter acne about the leaves changing color whilst she'd been cooped up inside. They reached the entrance hall and Eli broke away from her so he could open the door for her. He could be gentlemanly when he wanted, gesturing for her to walk through the door first before he followed shutting the door behind them as she mentioned showing him how to get back in when he had his stele back. He didn't miss the sneaked question in her sentence, and he was surprised that she wanted to know if he were sticking around or not. Then again he had indicated that he would be going back to London upon finding his brother. He remembered the ultimatum he'd given her and felt that same pang if guilt he'd felt after he'd done so. She was probably wondering if things had changed now that his brother was a werewolf, and Eli couldn't deny that he wasn't anymore even though he wished it weren't true.

"Sure you can, if I ever get it back again. My favorite knives are gone too." Eli said disappointedly, not answering her hidden question just yet because he honestly didn't know how long he would stick around for. Staying depended on a lot of things, well too things really - Audrina and his brother. His brother was no longer a shadowhunter and wouldn't be welcomed back at the London Institute, or even the Brooklyn one for that matter, so giving a time frame of how long he'd remain in Brooklyn was a hard call to make. He couldn't imagine leaving Travis behind if all of this played out how he hoped, and if Travis wanted to leave he would leave with him, after just finding him it made sense to Eli to go where he went. But then there was Audrina to think about, the thought of leaving her in Brooklyn wasn't pleasant but the thought if staying and continuously getting pushed away was even less pleasant. And leaving would mean giving up on her, something he'd told himself he should have done a long time ago before he got too emotionally involved, it was also something he had decided he wouldn't do.

"Travis can't go back to the London institute, but he can't stay at the Brooklyn one either." Eli pointed out as they walked down the path of the institute leading out into the streets if Brooklyn. "Who knows how this will play out, and if he'll want to stay here." He continued and wanted to say that he would stay, but he just didn't know. "I could be here a few more days, a week, a month even but it all just depends." He sighed, his answer still a little vague.

He let Audrina walk them out through the gate and then fell into step beside her once again. She didn't know the way to the diner he'd mentioned and was too stubborn to let him lead the way so he would just have to subtly change directions as they went. "The leaves haven't changed color," he indicated to one of the trees as he stopped beside the curb so they could cross the street. She stopped beside him and when it was safe to cross he took the first step out into the road.

The diner wasn't that far, but it took them ten or so minutes to reach it, turning down one other street after they'd crossed. Eli held the door open for her once more and then found them a booth to sit in because it would be more comfortable then an open table. The waitress arrived at their booth almost instantly and Eli ordered a coffee as she handed them menus. The woman left after taking down what Audrina wanted to drink.

[Yunalesca]

She smiled softly as he opened the door for her, whispering an awkward 'thank you' as she was unused to this kind of treatment. Once outside she paused for him momentarily as he rushed to open the gate for her and spoke finally. When his voice filtered through her ears her eyes dropped to the sidewalk to hide what she felt. What he said was true. A lot of what would happen to him depended greatly on his brother. She'd be a fool to think he'd ever want to stay for her. She wasn't a very warm person and didn't deserve to have him waiting for her. Besides, she was pursuing the reaper and that was something that would scare any man away. What was the point in wasting their time on a dead woman? Don't even wish it. Your paths are separate and won't cross. Don't long for something you can't have and never will. that voice reflected in her head and her eyebrows scrunched slightly in pain from the vibrations through her chest. The timing was all wrong. Maybe in another time and place she could have this, but not now, not with who she was and what she was about. They would go their separate ways and be done with it. She had to remember to protect her own heart in this process.

"You're right. I guess I have one less thing to be angry about." She said quietly in a distant voice as she reflected on what she'd just been thinking. She was quiet for the rest of the short trip, lost in her own thoughts as she supposed he was as well. She was taking pity on herself as he was trying to find a way to free his brother from shackles placed on him by an alpha that likely had changed him against his will. She felt almost ashamed with herself and kept her eyes on the sidewalk as she thought of this. How would she feel? She already knew how he felt, in a way. Her sister had been forcibly turned into something else and it had damaged her in so many ways. She couldn't imagine what it would be like if Aurelie were still alive and Audrina could do nothing for her. As painful as it'd been to do what she did, she knew it'd been the right choice. Lycanthropy wasn't the worst of the two diseases one could be afflicted with. They could control themselves better, they could walk in daylight, they could lead normal lives if they chose. And more importantly, they didn't have to survive off the death of others. A pang hit her in her chest as she imagined her sisters draining the life of another being. No, she had made the right choice for her.

Audrina stepped through the door of the diner as Eli held it open for her and proceeded to follow him to a booth in a quieter corner. It wasn't an overly busy diner and Audrina could see why he chose it. It had a comfortable aspect to it, warm and inviting. She decided she could give the place a fair chance. She was running her hand across the wood of the tabletop, deciphering what it was made of, when the waitress approached. She let Eli order first as she tried to think of something suitable to drink. Generally she would order coffee, but American coffee was different and left a sort of film in her mouth. Unpleasant really. "Lemon chammomile if you have it." She said to the waitress as she turned to Audrina. She nodded that she did and left them with menus, though the blonde didn't miss how her eyes had strayed back to Eli shortly before leaving them. She smirked quietly behind her menu and caught Eli's eye, the look he was giving came across as a 'what?'. "You're totally oblivious. She would go across town to find whatever it is you wanted if it got you to look at her the same way." She said with a small laugh, speaking of the waitress. She wasn't a bad looking girl, for a Mundane, and Audrina felt herself wondering if he would pursue her now that she'd said something. Her eyes faltered from his as she thought this. It was best to not travel down that road.

"I don't know how some of these girls keep their figures with stuff like this set in front of them. Belgian waffles with Bavarian Cream? That would take three nights of hunting for me to work off." She said in comment to the menu as she scanned it. It was mostly a lie, however. She'd been blessed with her figure, never needing to work overly hard to keep her dancers body, but she had never let herself go long enough to find out if that was still a fact. She'd danced through her youth, spending hours on end at the studio. After that was the slaying which kept her in even better shape. If you didn't know what you were doing or what your body was capable of you could die. A bit riskier than dancing. Her eyes stopped looking over the menu after deciding on something she felt they couldn't possibly mess up and that wouldn't be too hard to eat in front of Eli. She may have a mouth like a sailor but she ate like a lady.

"How long were you here before I found you? I don't think Jace or them have come here before...." She questioned, remembering very few of their actual restaurant haunts. They tended to stick to downworlder and shadowhunter friendly locations and she found it unlikely they had shown Eli this place. If he had found this on his own it meant he had been nearby the Institute the whole time. She began to wonder if he'd ever seen her before, a fleeting glance maybe, when she left the Institute. She tried to recall if she'd ever ran into him before, but found no memory of it. Very few shadowhunters had ever been noticeable when she'd been working and if they had crossed paths before she may have never noticed. She felt that night she'd saved him was the first time she'd ever seen him. Now you're wondering if he ever admired from afar, what is wrong with you?! that voice hissed and she lowered her eyes from his. That probably was the stupidest thing she had ever thought.

[Serendipity]

Eli liked this place, the diner wasn't an overly busy one, at least it had never been busy whenever he'd visited and it was a quiet place to think. For Eli it had been the only place he could hang out in at any one given time when he'd nothing else to do with himself whilst waiting for a new lead to arise without bringing too much attention upon himself. As long as he got a refill on his coffee every half an hour, none of the staff minded. The diner wasn't far from the Institute either, and he'd picked it for that reason when he had been contemplating paying the Institute a visit to see if anyone taking residence there might have heard rumors of a missing shadowhunter. For some reason he hadn't gone knocking on the Institute door and had continued looking for his brother on his own. The idea of the Clave getting wind that he was using his time to search for Travis who they believed dead had been the real reason why he hadn't talked with anyone at the Brooklyn Institute.

And it had only been by chance that he'd bumped into Audrina the night he'd been attacked by vampires outside that club. Until that night he hadn't seen her around, though that could have been because she ventured out at night and to clubs, she wouldn't of had a need to come anywhere near this diner. He wondered, as his eyes roamed the menu in front of him, if things would have been different if he'd met Audrina under better circumstances. If that was even possibly, if he hadn't had that scuffle with those vampires she'd never have looked at him twice and he would probably still be sitting in this diner contemplating asking the Brooklyn Institute for help but never stepping foot inside.

Realising he had drifted off into his own thoughts he lifted his gaze from the menu and saw the look Audrina was giving him over the top of her menu as the waitress walked off. He couldn't see her mouth but he saw the smirk in her eyes and quirked a brow in a silent 'what'; had he missed something, maybe she'd asked him a question and he hadn't heard. When she voiced the reason for her amused smirk Eli frowned a little still not understanding what he was oblivious too. As Audrina's eyes traveled to the waitress's retreating form however, he understood and turned his head to the side assessing the mundane she spoke of thoughtfully. For once, in his whole entire life he realised suddenly, he didn't find the waitress all that appealing; there was no doubt she was attractive for a mundane though. He usually found a lot of women appealing in some way or another, at least he had, now it seemed there was only one that was currently taking his interest. "Can you blame her? I am just -that- irresistible." Eli replied, taking his gaze away from the waitress to look at the blonde across from him, a slow grin forming over his lips, amusement twinkling in his blue eyes. He was joking of course, he didn't really think of himself as -irresistible-, he knew he had good looks and charm but he wasn't that cocky to think no woman could resist him. There was one sitting across from him now who had succeeded in doing just that.

Eli shrugged as she announced that she didn't know how some girls managed to resist some of the items in the menu and keep their figure if they ever couldn't. "There are ways to work these things off," He grinned, realised what he'd said and how it might have sounded and cleared his throat before continuing before she might have noticed. "And some people are just lucky and keep their figures no matter what." He finished quickly dropping his eyes back down to his menu. His eyes scanned the menu once more before he decided on what he would order when the waitress returned. Eli looked back over at Audrina only when he'd thought enough time had passed between his comments and decided that she must have chosen to ignore his comment about other ways of working things off. Again it was one of those comments that often slipped from his mouth before he thought about what he was actually saying. So far in his experience with Audrina she didn't like such remarks.

"I think I was here roughly a month before you found me, the days seemed to blur together a bit." Eli replied and set his menu down in front of him, folding his arms ontop of the table. Instead of slouching back like he usually would he leant forward so it would be easier for the two of them hear each other speak, not that it was even that noisy in the diner, and it was just an excuse to be a little closer to her. "How-" He was about to ask how long she'd been in Brooklyn when the waitress came back with their drink orders. The woman set Audrina's down in front of her before she did the same for Eli. This time he was aware of how she looked at him since Audrina had pointed it out and offered her one of his brilliant smiles and a warm 'thank you' followed by a wink as she flushed a deep shade if red. He shouldn't have winked at her, she was now so flustered she couldn't quite manage to pull the order book out of her apron pocket. Eli watched her with some amusement before he glanced over towards Audrina ignoring the look she gave him and shrugged.

"Wh-what can I get y-you both?" The waitress had retrieved her notepad from her pocket and clicked her pen to indicate she was ready to write down their order, but the flush was still on her cheeks. He felt kind of bad now that he had caused her to get so flustered, he'd only thought it would make her day or something, she could tell her friends about it like most girls liked to and they could giggle and gush over it. "The big breakfast, two extra slices of toast and the same with the bacon please." Eli ordered before gesturing for Audrina to place hers. He could eat a big breakfast after only a sandwich the night before and he couldn't remember what else before that, so a big breakfast would fill him up and he needed to keep his strength up if they were going up against a pack of werewolves soon.