i never asked to be saved [r], mortal instruments - Seren

[Serendipity]

He was wearing his heart on his sleeve, he knew the others could see how he felt about Audrina, that he cared for her even if most of the time she infuriated him by her constant need to push him and everyone else away. He could feel the looks Isabelle and Jace were giving him and he felt they knew; he suspected Alec and his warlock friend also knew. Probably the only person who didn’t know, maybe because she wouldn’t let herself see it, and also because she was incapacitated at the moment, was Audrina. Eli couldn’t say he enjoyed the idea of everyone knowing how he felt, not because he thought it made him weak, but because he could sense their concern for him at how he felt about the female shadowhunter.

But seeing her like this, wondering if she would ever open her eyes again, made him not care what the others could see or thought. It was one of those situations he never thought he’d be in, that he would be watching over someone he cared about wondering if they would be alright, feeling vulnerable and guilty because there was nothing he could do to make them alright. Magnus had reversed the effects of the demon poison, stopped it reaching her heart and Isabelle was readying the potion that would start the healing process if they were quick enough; and what was he doing? Smoothing her damp hair back from her face as if that would make any real difference.

Eli looked up at Isabelle as she came over with the potion ready in her hands, he shifted slightly so that Isabelle had room beside Audrina, so he wouldn’t be getting in the way. He watched with a frown as Isabelle opened Audrina’s mouth and poured some of the potion down her throat, and tensed as she spluttered and coughed most of it out. He was standing even before Jace asked him to help hold her down, knowing that they were going to have to force the potion down her throat, as unpleasant as that might be, it had to be done. Eli placed his hands either side of Audrina’s head, holding it still as firmly as he could without hurting her.

This time when Isabelle poured the remaining potion into Audrina’s mouth, Audrina seemed to struggle more against the invading substance being forced down her throat. Eli kept her head still as Jace held her arms down beside her. Isabelle closed Audrina’s mouth quickly before she could spit the liquid out and held her chin, keeping her mouth firmly closed until Audrina had no choice but to swallow. He sighed when she did, he felt relieved, even if it was just a little, that she’d swallowed the potion and it could now work its own magic in her system. But he knew it could be days until she woke up, it wasn’t an instant fix, not when you were dealing with demon poison.

Eli nodded at Jace’s request and took the bandages offered to him, changing positions with Isabelle so he was down by Audrina’s legs. This wound had been cleaned already, but the skin around the bite was still a slight green color. Eli began wrapping the bandages around Audrina’s leg as Jace went in search of blankets. “I’m sorry I held a knife at your brother’s throat,” Eli looked over at Isabelle who was in deep concentration as she cleaned the scratches on the blonde's chest. He wasn’t sure how Isabelle felt about that, and although he’d do it again in a heartbeat if Alec came back with the intention of wiping Audrina’s memories again, he still felt like he should apologise - if not to Alec, then to his sister.

“He was being a prat,” Eli found himself grinning a little trying to lighten the mood a little, even though he had been the one to darken it in the first place.

[Yunalesca]

As the blood began to wash away and the scratches were cleaned to see just how deep they ran, Isabelle tossed the bloody rag into a the basin that held her tattered leggings, both set to be burned afterward. She reached behind her and drew out gauze and medical tape to place over the shallow wounds to keep infection out while her body fought off the remainder of the poison Magnus couldn't fully remove. "I wouldn't worry so much. I doubt she let Magnus in there, she's quite protective of her memories." She offered quietly to him with a small sort of sad smile before she started to clean up. She wanted to cut away the dress and put Audrina in something more comfortable, but knew how the girl would feel about it when she woke. If she did remember Magnus invading her she was already going to be pissed off when she awoke, Isabelle didn't want it to be at her. She looked to Eli as though she wanted to say more, but stopped herself and turned away to store the potion ingredients back in the lower levels.

*

It took two days for the fever to break and for Audrina's condition to improve, color beginning to return to her cheeks and the sweats stopping completely. She had been unresponsive to anything over the course of that time, refusing to swallow even the soup that Isabelle had tried to force down her at one point. Three days without food was going to make her feel rather ill when she woke, but at least they knew she would wake up now. They were pretty sure food would be the last thing on her mind when her eyes finally fluttered open. She would be concerned as to why she was in the infirmary and likely irate with Alec after the fog from her mind cleared. Jace just hoped her damaged leg would keep her in the bed for a while longer. He wasn't so eager to break up a fight between them, though he was beginning to feel Alec wouldn't fight back. Even though he thought that it had been what was best for Audrina, he was showing signs of guilt. He was gone a lot more from the Institute and avoided the infirmary all together, though that was more due to the constant vigilance of Eli. His care for the shadowhunter seemed to become more obvious and grow every day that the fever left Audrina catatonic.

It was the day after the fever broke that she first began to respond. She could sense the early morning light beginning to shine on her face as the darkness that had clouded her mind began to recede. She felt weak and still incredibly tired, but something in her was saying it was time to open her eyes. She tried to comply, but her lids were so heavy she didn't think she could. Wake up that part of her urged once more and she took a deep breath before slowly she began to peek them open. Everything was a blur at first, her eyes adjusting after having been closed for so many days. She closed them anew as a throbbing headache started, her brows furrowing in slight pain. She waited for a few seconds before trying again. She felt her gaze begin to focus, eyes wandering lazily to take in her surroundings. She wasn't in her room. She was in...the infirmary? Her mind tried to make sense of this. She didn't remember coming here. She didn't remember anything after Jace and Alec had pulled her from the subway tracks and onto the platform.

What happened? her mind whispered as her voice refused to work just yet. Her attention shifted as someone, or something, stirred beside her. All she could see was a mop of dark hair and felt confused all the more. Why was Alec half asleep beside her bed? She turned her gaze away, but then quickly returned it as something else occurred to her. Alec had dark brown hair, the hair on this persons head was clearly black. "This must be a nightmare." Her voice whispered to herself as she turned her away from Eli, now realizing fully who was there beside her. He was persistant, she would give him that. Ever so slowly she began to move her fingers, regaining feeling throughout her body in spurts of tingles before motor skills came back. As she felt confident her body was working as well as it could for the moment, she pressed her palms to the mattress and slowly rose herself up to a seated position, wincing as every part of her body ached and protested against the movements. What the hell had happened to her?

[Serendipity]

Four days. Audrina’s eyes hadn’t opened in four days, they’d fluttered a little once or twice, giving Eli hope that she would open them; but they’d just teased him instead. After the first twenty-four hours of Eli’s watchful gaze the others had realised he wasn’t going anywhere, they suspected he probably thought that Alec would bring Magnus back if he wasn’t there to make sure it didn’t happen, and they were right. Isabelle and Jace would come and go, bringing Eli food and the occasional coffee; Isabelle, with each visit, would check Audrina’s wounds and help him change her dressings, reassuring him that she would wake soon. Alec didn’t make an appearance, although Eli thought he’d heard Jace speaking to him outside the infirmary, informing the brunette that she was getting better.

Audrina’s fever broke after two days, which gave Eli some relief, but not much because what he really wanted was for the blonde to open her eyes. If she opened her eyes then she was better, the demon poison completely out of her system and her wounds no longer life threatening. Because of the demon poison in her blood, even just the smallest trace, meant that they couldn’t use an iratze rune on her to finish the healing process. Eli found himself wondering, because all he could do while he sat vigilantly by her bedside was think, if she would remember what had happened and more importantly if her memories were still intact. Isabelle had said Audrina had pushed Magnus out of them, but he could have done all sorts of damage to them, maybe there were some he had managed to erase; then she’d have strings of broken memories, bits and pieces missing, not making sense.

He also realised that - thanks to Jace “You’re not bored yet I see,”- he hadn’t become bored or restless, well maybe a little restless because he worried she would never wake up; he had plenty to keep him occupied. Like tracing the lines of her face with his eyes until he memorised them all, he could tell now when she was really just sleeping, or if she were dreaming; and whether or not if the things she was dreaming about were good or bad. He didn’t know what good it would do him to memorise such a thing, but he’d memorised it anyway; maybe it would be useful one day.

Jace had insisted he sleep, if not in his room, then on one of the beds next to Audrina. He’d slept a little, but not much; he kept thinking that every time he closed his eyes to sleep, she would open hers and then not be there when he woke up. Knowing her, she wouldn’t want to stay in the infirmary another second once she woke up and she wouldn’t wake him up, she’d leave without a word. It didn’t feel good, knowing that she wouldn’t bother to wake him up to let him know she was better, but he was slowly starting to understand that that was just who she was.

Eli was resting his head, his arms folded around it, on the mattress beside Audrina as the sun started to come up. He’d already been awake for hours, watching her, waiting for her to open her eyes, and his eyes had grown heavy with the need to rest them for a while. At first he thought it was Isabelle speaking, and didn’t bother to lift his head, if Audrina was awake she would let him know. It was Audrina’s breathing that bought his head up, eyes blinking blearily down at her, Eli had become attuned to the sound of her breathing; her soft intake of air and then the slow exhale - just another thing that had kept him occupied over the past four days. Was she really awake or were his eyes only letting him see what he wanted to be true?

Eli sucked in a quick breath as he realized suddenly he wasn’t dreaming, she was really awake, and she looked very confused. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes quickly and pushed his fringe back from his eyes. He had been waiting days for her to wake up, had never left her side incase she did and now that she was awake he had no idea what to say to her. He felt his mouth run dry and his throat tighten as he fought to get words out, heart hammering in his chest at an almost overwhelming pace. “Sleeping beauty awakes,” His words came out a little hoarse and they weren’t the ones that he wanted to say.

“It wasn’t the kiss of true love that awoke her - I tried that already-, but the prince’s good looks and patience" He said and automatically reached for her hand before he could stop himself, and smiled. It was one thing to hold her hand whilst she was asleep and didn’t know it, it was quite another to hold it now while she was awake - albeit still coming to terms as to where she was and what had happened. His fingers curled around the tips of her slender ones, they were much softer than his were, and his thumb run gently back and forth over her knuckles.

[Yunalesca]

Audrina furrowed her brows as her gaze returned to Eli and he spoke to her casually, relief and enthusiasm in his voice as he did so. She thought little of what he said, it was when he grabbed her hand that she stopped breathing and felt a sort of panic rising up. He was acting affectionate towards her and it made her all the more confused. What had happened that she couldn't remember? Did they...? She stopped the thought and breathed anew. They couldn't have. She'd never be that out of it. "There's no such thing as true love, at least not for me." She said while trying to make her hand respond enough to slip out of his. It made her feel warm and therefor made her uncomfortable. She sighed and let her head fall back against the wall. Every movement she made was making her sick and hurt all over. She couldn't recall what could have made her feel this way.

"Why am I so nauseated?" She asked more to herself than to Eli. She felt like throwing up, but there was nothing in her stomach to expel. Or, at least, that's what it felt like. It was almost like she hadn't eat in days. SHe didn't recall eating before going out on the demon hunt. Maybe that was why she felt the way she did. Over exertion on an empty stomach would make anyone want to hurl. ANd yet that still didn't seem right. She'd never felt this sick before from not eating and kicking some ass. She felt like it all came back to what she couldn't remember. More importantly, why couldn't she remember anything after Jace pulled her from the subway tracks? Something was wrong. Alec, something's wrong echoed in her mind in her own voice. She sat up a little straighter, finally managing to wriggle her hand from Eli as she furrowed her brows. Something happened in the subway, when she got back to the Institute with the others. She felt her mind rolling through a fog as she grasped for some recollection of what had occurred.

Her eyes shifted back and forth, not really seeing the blankets that covered her legs as they did so. Why couldn't she grasp those memories? There was a reason she was in the infirmary, why Eli was so firmly attached to her side. It was all connected somehow and she couldn't make sense of it. Alec, something's wrong... echoed in her mind anew and she felt her hand slowly raising up her chest to her head as though to trigger the memories herself. It was then that she realized her chest had been bandaged. Frowning anew, her hands dropped to the medical tape and began aggressively pealing it off. Underneath the gauze were red marks, scratches almost fully healed. She didn't remember getting those either. Did she get in a fight with a were or something? She wondered, but then something else lifted to the surface of her memory. That was incredibly stupid. Let's go. She heard in Alec's voice in her head. She could almost see the scene before her eyes.

Her brows furrowed further as she realized something more was amuck than previously expected. That was when new memories began to surface. She was transported back to her sisters death, but someone else was there. Her breathing quickened in anxiety as her eyes flicked back and forth rapidly, seeing the scene play out before her without eyes closed. As her child's eyes rose up from Aurelie's body she locked eyes with the warlock. "Magnus." Her voice whispered in a hiss and her hands tightened on the sheets. He'd been in her head. That was why everything was a fog. He'd tried putting in a block and failed. She remembered expelling him from her mind. "That sunovabitch." She cursed before she felt adrenaline kick in. Her cheeks flushed scarlet in rage, the most color she'd had since the attack had put her down. "I'll kill him, I'll fucking kill him." She hissed before ripping away the blankets. With strength she didn't know she had she was swinging her bare legs off the bed and planting her feet to the floor. The moment she put weight down she fell back and cried out, hands flying to her leg as her eyes closed in pain. She felt herself whimper before opening her eyes once more.

It was then that she noticed the wrappings about her leg. She turned an inquiring look to Eli before she was pulling at the bandage and unwrapping it furiously. When her thigh was bare she saw the cause of her pain. A large tear ran through her skin and deep into her muscle tissue. The green cast had disappeared with the demon poison, but she could still see her own muscle in the tear. She'd been bitten. That was why she couldn't remember getting to the infirmary, why she couldn't remember even returning to the Institute. She felt herself pale at the sight and realization the warlock had first saved her before trying to remove her memories. It didn't make her hate him any less, however. He'd gone too far. Alec had gone too far. With great effort and whispers of pain from her lips she pulled herself back onto the bed and rested her back against the wall. Her anger momentarily dissipated at the concern of what had happened to her. Surely she had almost died. Her body had no protection again demon poison. She had brought it on herself. Her eyes closed as her head fell back against the wall, her hands holding the sides of her thigh almost protectively. "How long?" She asked Eli quietly, wondering how many days had passed.

[Serendipity]

“How do you know if you’ve never found it?” Eli asked as he quirked a brow at the blonde who was still struggling to wake up properly. She wasn’t looking at him now, but around the room, so she missed the slight quirk of his brow. He felt her fingers twitch beneath his touch and suspected that she wanted to snatch it away, but her limbs probably weren’t responding to what her mind was telling them to do just yet. Audrina didn’t appear to have any concept of how long she had been in the infirmary for, or what had happened, he could sense her confusion. She most likely thought that she’d come home from the demon hunt three nights ago and must have passed out, it probably only felt like the very next day for her and she was wondering why she was even in the infirmary at all.

He didn’t have a chance to answer her question as to why she felt sick, she hadn’t eaten the whole time she’d been out of it, as she realized her chest was bandaged and she began ripping at the dressing clearly shocked at discovery of her injuries. “Hey. Stop. The bandages need to stay on.” Eli tried to tell her, concern etched into his voice for the state of her injuries which were healing but if not looked after properly could quickly turn infected. But she’d already managed to tear them off, and Eli suddenly felt like he shouldn’t touch her, not when she was in a state of panic.

His blue eyes widened as she said Magnus Bane’s name, answering his question of whether or not she would remember the warlock invading her mind; he had hoped she wouldn’t recall what Alec had tried to get the warlock to do, at least not until she’d recovered properly. He felt a new anger burn in the pit of his stomach as he recalled what he had interrupted Magnus trying to do three nights ago. He was just as angry as Audrina would be over it, but he’d managed to push that aside for the time being and focus on getting Audrina better. “You’re going to reopen your wounds again if you keep moving around, lie down for Angel’s sake!” Eli, clearly, was becoming rather annoyed that rather than be careful, she would rather risk hurting herself further by letting her anger for what Alec had done take over.

He knew exactly who she was thinking of going, to visit Alec and throttle him for what he’d attempted to do. He doubted she could do much damage to the brunette shadowhunter in the state she was currently in, but she’d give it her best shot - which is what worried him the most because she obviously felt no concern for her own wellbeing. Eli was standing over the bed now, trying to reach for Audrina’s shoulders so he could push her back down onto the mattress, but stopped half way when he saw her looking down at her bandaged leg and grimaced when she frantically began tearing that apart too.

In a flash, Eli was around the other side of the bed, blocking Audrina’s way if she tried to get up again, but also there to catch her if she crumbled. His blue eyes glared down at her disapprovingly at the exposed gash on her thigh and he shook his head. “We’ve been waiting for the demon poison to completely get out of your system before we can heal you properly. For now you’ll have to do it the natural way, but that means you have to stop pulling off your goddamn bandages!” He’d heard her question, asking how long she’d been in the infirmary for, but had chosen to ignore it for the moment.
Knowing she was still weak from the poisoning and the extent of her wounds, he placed his hands firmly either side of shoulders and pushed her back down against the pillows. Pushing her hands aside from her leg, he gently lifted the limbs back onto the mattress, collecting the mess of bandages she had made. “You’ve been unconscious for four days.” He said answering her question once he’d arranged her back on the hospital bed. “And to answer your earlier question...you feel sick because you’re still recovering and you haven’t eaten in four days, save for the little amounts of soup we managed to get you to swallow.”

He looked down at the bandages in his hands and shook his head. “Izzy will have to re-dress your wounds, they were due to be done. She’ll be happy you're awake, you know. She’s been worried sick, they all have actually.” Even me. He wanted to add, but felt it wasn’t appropriate not after the last encounter they’d had which had as always ended with her yelling at him. “I’ll have to go and get her.” He said and ran his fingers through his messy hair as if that thought made him feel uncomfortable. “Unless I re-do your bandages...”

[Yunalesca]

She gave Eli a dark glare as he pushed her down to the bed, her head sinking into the pillows as she found she didn't have the strength to fight back. If she couldn't prevent him from forcing her into bed how would she have fared against the strength of Alec? The question was pointless, she hadn't been thinking of that in the least when she'd tried getting out of bed. She'd have tried to beat him senseless regardless of her state. She would just be saving it for when she could actually get out of bed now. Her thoughts were on this matter until the shadowhunter removed her hands from her leg and was fully arranging her limbs onto the bed. The heat of his touch awoke her blood and made her feel tingling in her appendages. She only shot him another glare, however. Were she capable she likely would have smacked his hands away and threatened him for touching her, even if it seemed he was doing so to help her.

It was his statement of the length of her stay in the infirmary that rocked her. [iFour days?![/i] her mind screamed in disbelief. This reaffirmed her earlier thought on almost having died. Her memories of that night had stopped at the subway station which meant the poison had spread rather rapidly. She recalled having sensed a higher ranked demon sneaking up behind them and that must have been what'd attacked her. A lesser demon would have never had the potency to seep into her system that deeply that fast. It would seem she owed her life to Alec even though she wanted nothing more than to murder him for bringing in Magnus to wipe her memory, for she knew that had been all his idea. Nobody else would have dared to try it. "I hope it wasn't -her- soup." She managed to grumble as her eyes reverted to Eli, seemingly awkwardly holding the bandages she'd ripped off in her hands. She made an attempt to scoff at him as he expressed that everyone had been concerned.

"I'm sure. So concerned they didn't stop Magnus from...raping my mind." She spat, brows furrowing at the wording she had used. Essentially, that was how she felt. He had invaded her head without her permission. He'd done it while she was unconscious. If she hadn't managed to find a strength to push him out she could be sitting there none the wiser. Her memories were held close to her and she'd never let anyone take them from her, even the High Warlock of the city. Nobody possessed enough strength for that, or rather, enough strength to do so and not kill her. They were a part of her and if they were taken away she was sure she would die. A part of her mocked that maybe she should have let him take her memories. She'd be dead and wouldn't have to worry about this mess anymore. It was what she wanted, wasn't it? Her thought process stopped as Eli paused before stating something more. Let him re-do her bandages? She wasn't fond of the thought of any bandages being put on her and most definitely wasn't fond of the thought of him pressing his hands on her flesh. Almost involuntarily she felt herself shiver at the thought. The last time he'd pressed his hands to her skin had set her on fire. Stop her mind begged as the feelings dissipated and the fire was extinguished once more.

"I'd rather there be an option of no bandages and no izrate's being forced to my skin." She started but sighed heavily and turned her head to him, her hands managing to come up from the bed where he'd laid them to cross over her stomach. "It doesn't seem I'm going to get my way while I'm here, however. If you must, then go ahead and wrap it. But," she pressed the word firmly to him, her eyes narrowing as she did so. "My eyes are watching you and if for a moment your hands go any higher than that wound, I will find a way to get out of this bed and cut them off." She warned rather darkly. Her voice meant it, though some recess of her mind was wondering what it felt like to have his hands run up her thigh, to her hip. She gritted her teeth and turned her face from him to look up at the ceiling. She wasn't thinking properly. She hadn't eaten in four days, had been badly poisoned by a demon. It was bound to bring the most obscure thoughts to her head. It meant nothing and she'd never think of it again after she was healed and out of this bed.

[Serendipity]

He could tell that she didn’t like being forced back down on the bed and given the chance - if she weren’t still so weak- she’d smack him for even touching her, and probably break something while she was at it. She didn’t struggle however and he pushed her back against the pillows, before arranging her legs back on the bed also. He felt that familiar tingle, warm and pleasant, spread from the tips of his fingers through each hand as he lifted her legs, touching her bare skin; he ignored it, making his movements more mechanical instead. Although it didn’t stop his pulse from racing - that he couldn’t help. He let go of her legs the minute they were back on the bed, not letting his hands linger longer than what was necessary.

He chuckled at her grumbled words and shook his head, a trace of a grin on his lips, “No. Jace got the soup from a diner around the block.” He explained simply. They all knew, even Eli was aware of it now, that Isabelle, although enthusiastic about it, could not cook. Jace had warned him to not even attempt a taste test if she asked, because it would most likely get him sent to the infirmary with food poisoning. He winced a little as spoke of Magnus ‘raping’ her mind, it was a harsh choice of words, but Eli couldn’t disagree with them. His grin dropped from his lips, turning into a frown, and he looked down at the bandages he now had fisted tightly in his hands. Did he tell her that he had stopped the warlock, or was it one of those things he kept to himself? He was glad that he had intervened when he had, but it wasn’t something to brag about, he did feel guilty for threatening the two males with the sharp tip of his knives to their throats.

Eli decided there was no point in telling her that there had been one person who had cared enough to threaten a warlock for her, she wouldn’t care for it anyway. Audrina would probably shout at him to stay out of her business, Eli thought and tried not to roll his eyes. He was sure that the others cared for her, Jace hadn’t approved, and neither had Isabelle to a point, but Alec had always been the oldest of the trio and had pulled rank on them. Even Alec, Eli suspected, had thought he was doing Audrina some kind of justice by wiping her memories. And if Magnus had really wanted to finish what he’d started, Eli would have most likely ended up in the infirmary right beside Audrina, unconscious in his own bed. None of this would consul Audrina however, and he’d just be wasting his energy trying to explain it all away.

He looked back up at Audrina as she stated she’d rather not have any bandages or iratze runes forced on her, and a grin tugged at his lips again, she was still as stubborn as always.He shook his head as she said she wouldn’t get her way in the matter, and was about turn and go find Isabelle - there was no way she’d allow him to bandage her back up- when she went on to say he could do it. He looked back at her with a certain amount of surprise on his features, “Don’t worry. I do know how to keep my hands to myself...most of the time,” He grinned and then turned to move over to the supplies cabinet where Isabelle had retrieved fresh bandages from before. He dumped the old bandages in the trash can beside the cabinet and then retrieved new ones.

The male walked back over to the bed Audrina was lying in, feeling her eyes burning into him; she was always so happy to have him around, he thought sarcastically. Unrolling some of the bandage to begin with he gently placed his hand beneath her knee and lifted her leg so he was about to wrap the bandage right around. “Keep your leg up like that for me,” He instructed lightly and when he was sure she would, he began wrapping the bandage firmly around her wound; the bandage had to be firm but not too tight. He didn’t look away from what he was doing once, deep in concentration of what he was doing it would seem, and when he was done he secured the bandage appropriately so it wouldn’t unravel. “See, that wasn’t so hard was it?” He questioned as he leaned back with a satisfied smile.

[Yunalesca]

I do know how to keep my hands to myself...most of the time, echoed his voice in her head and she bit on her lip to keep from laughing at his tone. He humored her with the statement and she didn't know why. Were she her normal self she would find nothing funny about the statement, she'd be giving him a glare and possibly threatening more under normal circumstances. She fought to keep the mirth from her face. "Now would be the time to see that you do." She managed, though her tone was anything but the icy cast it usually held. She was just loopy, she reminded herself. After some food and real rest she would be back to her aggressive self, wanting to bite his head off at every statement.

As his hand gently lifted her leg she almost felt another shiver spread over her skin, his fingertips sending little electric shocks across her body. "Yes sir." She managed to whisper sarcastically, though it took a lot for her to keep underlying feelings out of her voice as she said it. It lacked that potency she usually had when speaking to him. As the beginnings of the bandage started to unroll across her wound her eyes slipped closed, a feeling of content washing through her under Eli's careful hands. He was firm with the wrapping, yet gentle in how he did so. It was different from how the others had ever cared for her in the past. He took care in what he did and it made her wonder further about him. There was more to him. He had been there when she woke, sleep still prevalent in his eyes and his voice holding relief. He had asked to kiss her those days ago, which had been exhilerating whether she liked to admit it or not. She began to feel there were things inside him that were growing for her and it was mildly frightening considering how hard she had been pushing him away. As she felt him finish, a quiet sigh escaped her lips unintentionally.

Her eyes came open again and she looked down at him as she slowly lowered her leg, only now realizing that her legs were bare. She vaguely remembered going out a little more dressed than this and suddenly felt self conscious. She never felt comfortable flashing her skin like Isabelle. She only ever did it as a seductive device to attract her prey and never any time thereafter. She sat up slightly, wincing along the way, to grab hold of one of the blankets and drag it over her legs, at least up to her waist so she wouldn't feel so bare to the world. She would have to ask for a change of clothes if they were going to keep her in the infirmary longer. Now that she was awake she hoped they would at least let her return to her room, though she felt she might actually have to ask for assistance in getting there should the pain in her leg persist. She tossed an unconvincing glare at Eli as she shrank back into the pillows before he could do it himself.

"That's what you think. Positively unbearable on this end." She stated to him, though she lacked the general hostility in her voice once more. Considering how irate she was with Alec, she let the slack she was giving Eli slide. At the thought of the other shadowhunter her brows furrowed in a look between anger and hurt. She was not a trusting person, largely depending on herself for anything, but she had put trust in Alec. She didn't know she had, but now after knowing what he did and how hurt she felt for it, she was aware of it. Despite their constant bickering and want to murder eachother on occasion she had bonded with him on some level. She bit her lip as her eyes looked away from Eli. She was genuinely hurt by someone's actions, something she was so unused to. "I never thought I'd say this, but I've never felt so betrayed in my life." She said quietly, feeling the sudden need to converse her feelings with someone, something else that was entirely out of character.

Her eyes rolled back to Eli then, holding that hurt just in front of the white hot rage she felt inside over the subject as well. "He'd threatened this before, but I never believed he would ever actually do such a thing. He thought it was best for me and yet I would never think to do something like that to him while he was incapacitated, unable to say anything for himself. I feel taken advantage of and I don't like it. I said I'd kill him if he ever attempted such a thing. Why would he want to risk that?" She asked, not really expecting an answer. As mad as she was, she wasn't sure she could follow through with the threat though she had been very serious at the time she'd said it. She probably could have at that point, but now? She felt things changing in her, shifting her from the original path that made her so violent and willing to kill. Did it take almost dying to do that? Or was it because she wasn't fully herself just yet?

[Serendipity]

Her ‘Yes sir’ after he’d instructed her to hold her leg up almost made him laugh, there was sarcasm there he could hear it, but it lacked its usual potency and he couldn’t be sure but he could have sworn she had been trying to keep amusement at bay with her earlier response. But of course she couldn’t give in to it, couldn’t let herself be amused with him because on some level she thought it would be letting him in passed her walls. He shouldn’t have expected her to suddenly let him through after she’d barely escaped death, he should have guessed that those walls would still be there, and the longer she was awake the more reinforced they’d become. It would take more than almost dying for her to let him in, he realised; but maybe it had thrown her off enough to give him time to figure out what it would take for her to let him in.

He found her looking at him once he’d finished wrapping her leg and he offered her a smile even if she didn’t return it with one of her own. Her eyes dropped to her bare legs as if just discovering that nothing was covering them, and quickly reached for the blanket beside her so she could pull it over her legs and up to her waist. The glare she threw at him was an unconvincing one and his smile almost grew before he decided it was probably better not to let her know he was noticing she lacked her usual loath for him and rolled his eyes at her statement. “I’ll get Isabelle to do it next time then,” He said simply and moved over to the bed next to Audrina’s - the one he’d slept on for three nights- to sit down on the edge.

Her next sentence surprised him and he almost slipped off the edge of the bend, he steadied himself before she noticed and looked across at the blonde. He never expected her to suddenly convey how she felt about discovering what Alec had tried to do, and he was also shocked to hear her tell him how betrayed she felt over it. She felt betrayed, not angry -although he was sure the anger was still there, it couldn’t go away that easy- at the brunette shadowhunter. Her eyes found his and he sucked in a silent breath at the hurt he saw there, white hot rage just behind it. He felt a sudden anguish of his own after seeing the hurt in her eyes, and leant forward as if to reach out and take her hand, but then dropped his hands to his lap as he thought better of it, sighing heavily.

Eli didn’t know how to answer her question, he couldn’t answer for Alec, not properly, but decided he should at least try. “Yes, he thought it would take away your pain.” Eli answered and in doing so it would make her aware that they all knew she was hurting because of her past. It was a risk, letting her know that, letting her know she hadn’t hidden it as well as she might have thought she had, but he took that chance as it might be the only one he would get. “As wrong as it was for him to do it, I do believe he thought it was for your own wellbeing, but he shouldn’t have done it. I almost killed him myself when I found out-” He swallowed cutting off his sentence as he realised he was about to tell her he’d been the one to stop Magnus and Alec.

“He didn’t know what he was doing, how it would affect you. He probably thought it would help you...move on.” He carried on quickly as he lifted his legs onto the bed and shifted onto his side, holding himself up by his elbow, his blue eyes watching her carefully. “You probably won’t care to know this, it’s just something I’ve observed while I’ve been here. But I think he worries and cares about you, like a brother would his sister.” Eli admitted, though he wasn’t sure how she would react to knowing that either.

[Yunalesca]

Her brows furrowed as Eli actually answered her after taking a breath as though he were carefully thinking of what to say back to her. She hadn’t expected him to say anything and especially didn’t expect to hear him defending Alec. As far as she could tell, the shadowhunter hated the younger male. They seemed to get along even less than Audrina did with Alec, and that said something. To hear him defending what Alec did made a dark cast come over her eyes. She wondered how he would feel if a warlock penetrated his mind and tried to take away everything that defined who he was. His next statement, however, stopped her scrutiny. Her head tilted slightly in curiosity at what he said. One minute he was defending Alec and the next he was saying something rather confusing to her. I almost killed him myself when I found out he had said and it stuck in her mind. He had been upset to hear of what’d happened to her. Or was it something else? It sounded too personal for him to just have heard it. Her mind began to work anew, brows furrowing in concentration.

What he said next quickly brought her from her thought process. He cares about you like a brother would a sister he had said in observation of their relationship. That familiar response of shirking away wanted to come into play but she was far too tired to be putting up a front. “He wouldn’t do that to his sister.” She managed to whisper, eyes momentarily flicking back to Eli before they once again went back to a neutral state, staring at her hands though she wasn’t really seeing them. Her mind was going back to what he had said earlier, bypassing what he had just said moments ago. Something more important lay in what he’d said. She couldn’t find herself computing it fast enough, her mind still somewhat foggy from exhaustion and wrecking through the block Magnus had attempted to put in. Why did she continue to go back to that statement?

When he grew quiet and her mind could think in the silence, she felt the answer come to her. It was so simple and she would have scoffed at herself if she’d had the energy. He hadn’t –heard- it at all. He’d been there. It was all in his voice, in the way he’d been there when she woke, the way he was relieved when her eyes came open and she remembered what’d happened. He had –seen- what Magnus had tried to do and undoubtedly tried to do something about it. “You were there. You didn’t just hear what they tried to do to me; you saw it happen, didn’t you?” She questioned, turning her head to him and looking at him inquisitively. She was sure of the answer even before he spoke. The pieces of the puzzle were coming together, fitting perfectly in her mind. As she thought of this she remembered throwing up walls in her mind and the warlock blowing them over with little effort. He’d penetrated her mind a second time after she’d fought him off, but he had disappeared so suddenly. Her head tilted anew and her jaw slackened slightly. “You stopped him. I could feel him come back, but he left so suddenly and for no apparent reason. You pulled him out of my head.” She said in a voice reflecting the shock she felt. She had never expected this from him and it only confirmed her earlier suspicions of his growing feelings for her. He genuinely cared about her and the signs had been there for some time, she just tried not to see them.

Her eyes averted from his as she took a breath and swore she could almost feel a flutter somewhere in her body. Nobody had ever done for her what Eli had. Sure the others had looked out for her, healed her, brought her here when she was dying, but that was different. Eli had stood in the way of a warlock when he’d been trying to mess with her memories. Her eyes rolled back to him then. “I don’t know what to say. I’ve never been good at thank yous and you surely deserve one.” She said quietly, gratitude reflecting in her voice and on her face for the first time ever in her life. She shunned the help of others and shirked away from any sort of affection, but she felt genuinely thankful for what Eli had done. Magnus may have succeeded the second time around if Eli hadn’t stopped it.

[Serendipity]

It wasn’t Eli’s intent to defend Alec’s actions, he didn’t like the younger male -at all-, but yet after he finished speaking he realized that it probably sounded like he was defending the male. Maybe he was, in a small way, Audrina didn’t have many people around who cared for her; because she wouldn’t let them, and despite what Alec had tried to get Magnus to do he couldn’t deny that the other male didn’t care for her in some way. Why else would he go to such great lengths to try and erase her memory, get rid of her pain. If he didn’t care for her, if none of them did, then it wouldn’t bother them that she went out -on her own- and hunted vampires, which would one day get her killed.

He was waiting for the explosion, for Audrina to shout at him for what she might have seen as defending Alec, but it never came. He’d been watching her, waiting for it, preparing himself to let her scream at him and not flinch. He couldn’t blame her if she felt like she needed to let her frustration out on someone, after what she’d been through he’d give her the opportunity to use him as a verbal punching bag - she had in the past, why not now? Eli hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath while he waited for her outburst which never came, and slowly exhaled as she merely whispered instead; her gaze flickering to him for a brief moment before she stared back down at her hands, her expression neutral. “Maybe not,” Eli responded simply, he didn’t know Alec as well as Audrina did, maybe she was right, maybe he wouldn’t do something like that to his own flesh and blood...but maybe he would if he thought it would help.

He’d almost forgotten his earlier slip up, how he’d almost revealed that he had been the one to stop Alec and Magnus from successfully completing their task of erasing her memory, but it seemed Audrina hadn’t and that’s why she'd been so quiet he realised. She’d been thinking on his words, trying to make sense of them, probably trying to see if she could recall anything of that night after getting back to the Institute. Eli shifted uncomfortably, and sat up so his back was against the pillows. He stared at the wall in front of him, not really sure why he didn’t want her to know what he’d done, possibly because it would reveal how he truly felt about her. Jace had certainly picked it, “Why else are you watching over her, not leaving her side, looking worried and sullen, if you didn’t feel anything for her?” He’d asked pointedly after Eli had tried to deny it. It was one thing admitting it to himself, quite another to say it outloud to everybody.

He lifted his shoulders in a shrug and turned his head to look over at her, trying to gauge how she felt about her new discovery. She looked quite taken aback, in almost a state of disbelief and he sighed. “I heard what happened to you and I came to see if you were alright. And there was Alec and Magnus hovering over you, and Magnus wasn’t healing your wound.” Eli lifted a hand palm up in a restless gesture and waved it from one spot to another quickly to i to indicate where the two males had been standing at the time. Still watching her, he nodded as she spoke again, her voice reflective as though she were remembering those events on a subconscious level, “Yep. And I think he’s probably back home brewing up his own form of revenge for me, no one pulls a knife at a high warlocks throat and gets away with it.” He chuckled dryly, he didn’t find that thought amusing at all.

“You don’t have to say anything Audrina,” Eli shook his dark head and swung his legs off the bed into a sitting position once more, becoming restless, a state he was very familiar with at the moment. Hearing the gratitude in her words surprised him, it was far better than any actual thank you, but he hadn’t expected to hear her thank him at all. “I just came in at the right time that’s all, a few minutes later and it would have been too late.” He appreciated her thanks all the same though.

Eli looked down at his hands which he’d fisted in his lap before looking back over to her again, “I knew what it would do to you if they erased your memories, blocks on people’s minds don’t always stick forever, and if one day you suddenly remembered everything...you wouldn’t be able to survive that...no one could.” His voice had dropped to almost a whisper as he said this, as if it still pained him to think about just how close he had come to being too late.

“And it doesn’t make you weak, it’s a fact.” He added firmly.

[Yunalesca]

As Eli explained the situation, the blonde shadowhunters eyebrows rose in surprise and she averted her gaze momentarily. "You pulled a knife on Magnus?" She asked with a slight laugh, disbelieving she had missed this. It seemed quite a scene had played out while she had been asleep. "What kind of idiot are you?" She laughed again as her eyes found his, a near underlying tenderness reflecting through the gray iris. Nobody else would have dared such a thing and Eli had. He had only known her for a few weeks and he had pulled a knife on a warlock for her, to protect her memories that she clung to. It hadn't been Isabelle or Jace that had dared to stand against a High Warlock, it'd been this shadowhunter that she had been so desperately trying to push away. She swallowed and averted her eyes as she felt emotion slipping into her eyes as they rested on him. It was too dangerous to let him see anything she felt, that she still believed even in this recovering state. They would both be hurt if she let him see it.

Her eyes were brought back as his voice filtered into her ears anew. If only you knew how true that would be... her mind thought as he spoke. It had been hard enough when it'd happened, she couldn't imagine how quickly she'd break under the pressure of reliving the memories after having been freed of them. You could tell him her mind echoed and she shunned it. No, he could never know. He would pity her and she couldnt live with that. And she wasn't particularly fond of having to relive the memories in telling them. She would break down, she would hurt in telling them, and she couldn't let him see that side of her. She was too vulnerable in that state and nobody had seen her like that. Nobody that was alive, anyway. She would give too much of herself if she let him in enough to see that emotional side of her and to let him see her past. "You have no idea how true that would be." Was all she whispered to him before tearing her eyes away anew. He had to be curious about her, what made her such a cruel and cold being, but she couldn't let him in to that. Arms length, she reminded herself even though it was incredibly hard to attempt to build the walls that had crumbled.

She found herself somewhat comforted by his final statement. Weakness, it was something she feared so much, more than death itself. There were times she felt she could embrace death like a long lost friend, but weakness was really the reaper to her. When people saw it in a person, they took advantage of it, and she didn't believe she could take anymore of that. Weakness was not something she could afford in this life she had made for herself. The vampire her mother had become would be able to sense any small trace of weakness and would strike at it quickly. She knew what Gabrielle DuPage would try to do when her daughter came for her at last. She had tried and failed with Aurelie, she would not let herself fail with her last child. The thought of being turned made Audrina involuntarily shiver and pull herself from her thoughts. "Eli..." She started, but stopped as she heard the doors at the end of the infirmary open. Her head turned to the side to see Isabelle strolling toward her and Eli, a stack of clothing in her arms. She was expressionless until she saw Audrina's eyes were open and watching her.

"Oh thank the Angel, you're alive! It would seem Eli's watchful eye had awoken the princess at last." She almost squeeled as the clothing was dropped at the foot of the bed and she took a seat beside Audrina. Her hand went to the blonde's forehead and Audrina managed to swat it away, a grimace on her face at what had been said. The moment between her and Eli had passed and more of her old self returned. "Knock it off." She grumbled and Isabelle narrowed her eyes back to her before looking to Eli. "Her old self again I see." She said with a smirk before getting up to avoid another swat from the shadowhunter.

"You must be hungry..."

"Whatever you're serving, I don't want it." She protested and got a smirk from Isabelle for it. "Jace is ordering out and I can put something in for you, so relax." The brunette informed and Audrina sighed.

"If you can find a good Ratatouille in this vicinity I commend you. Otherwise I'll be fine." Audrina informed, ignoring what protests would come as she pulled herself up to a seated position again. She could take care of herself thank you very much. "Please tell me those are a change of clothes." She stated simply, looking down to the pile of black clothes at the foot of the bed.

"They are. I figured you'd wake up soon and would want them considering how ravaged that dress is." She commented, biting the inside of her lip as she noticed the bandages across her chest had been removed.

"I didn't like it anyway." Was all she said before leaning forward to pull the clothes closer, a painful grunt coming as she did so, though she ignored the pain shooting through her leg at the movement. Black sweats and a hoodie she didn't recognize. It had to be one of the others, she didn't own any hoodies. "It's Alec's...I knew you'd protest, but it was the only loose clothing I could find. Everything of yours is leather and wouldn't feel very good against those wounds." Isabelled explained as Audrina dropped the sweatshirt as though it'd burned her. She was right, she was protesting it. "Put it on, or you're going out naked. He's sorry for what he did..." The brunette offered and Audrina shot her a look.

"I'm sure he is." She responded and glared at the sweatshirt as though it were the enemy. "Am I getting out of here, then?" She remarked, bringing her eyes from the sweatshirt.

"Hodge said you could go back to your room when you woke up, but he'll be checking in on you. You won't be going out for a while. Unless you'll take one of our iz...."

"Absolutely not. Can you bring the curtain so I can change." She cut the brunette off, grabbing the clothing anew. She'd like to get out of there as soon as possible, back in her own bed. She'd crawl out of the infirmary if she had to.

[Serendipity]

The male shadowhunter grinned a little at the sound of her laughter, it was only a slight sound, but he had heard it and he couldn’t help but grin in response. She thought it amusing that he had pulled a knife on Magnus, and as he reflected back on the event it wasn’t hard to see why. Magnus was a powerful warlock, Eli had sensed the male’s power and he could have easily squashed Eli like a bug or turned him into a rodent with one snap of his fingers, especially since Eli hadn’t any rune marks to protect himself against a warlock's magic - because he hadn’t been expecting to find out in the infirmary with Audrina. But at the time he hadn’t been concerned with his own safety, he’d acted on impulse really, not thinking it through and had just been lucky that Magnus hadn’t wanted any trouble - or maybe he hadn’t wanted Alec hurt? He hadn’t quite figured that one out yet.

“The brave and heroic kind?” He replied as his grin grew and he shook his head to stifle his own laughter. “You know how it is, the adrenaline kicks in and you do stupid things and just hope you get lucky.” He shrugged, his eyes catching her gaze as she looked over at him instead of blankly at her hands. It was brief, but he thought he saw something flicker, a softness instead of the usual hardness in her smoky orbs before she looked away again, unable to hold his gaze for too long.

He thought, for a split second, as she lifted her gaze once more to his, that she would tell him what Hodge had told him, that she might talk to him, that she might open up. Eli thought he could almost see the battle going on in her mind as she struggled to decide whether she could trust him enough to tell him all those horrible things that had happened to her when she was just a child. “Audrina…” He sighed at the very same time as she spoke his name, and he smiled a little sheepishly, both of them about to say something; however, they were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Isabelle walked through just as Eli lifted his head up to see who it was, and he sighed before he managed a bright smile for the dark haired girl, a stack of clothes in her arms.

He laughed at her statement and her initial surprise at finding Audrina awake, the laughter continuing as she moved towards the blonde and put her hand on her forehead before it was swatted away rather irritably. “Her old self indeed, and she’ll be as good as new in the next few days,” He smiled and leant back on his hands watching the interaction between the two girls with some amusement.

“Good, I’m starving. And you should eat something, it’ll take twice as long for you to recover if you don’t eat.” Eli said as Isabelle told them that Jace was ordering out; he was relieved that Isabelle wasn’t cooking, she seemed to have gotten the hint that no one liked her cooking.

Eli quickly pushed himself off the bed at the mention of Audrina getting changed and moved out of the way as Isabelle dragged the curtain separator over to Audrina’s bed. She didn’t seem too happy about having to wear Alec’s clothes, but it was either wear them or stay in her shredded dress and she’d be more comfortable in the loose fitting clothes Isabelle had brought in with her. Eli turned his back to the curtain, giving her an extra amount of privacy, although Isabelle hovered at the edge of the curtain ready to help the blonde if she requested it.

[Yunalesca]

As the curtain was pulled into place, Audrina shifted from underneath the blankets she'd pulled over her leg and made an effort to stand. At her groan of pain and near fall back into the bed, Isabelle was grabbing hold of her and trying to help dress her. "I've got it just fine, get off me." The blonde snapped, making the brunette furrow her brows and step back out from behind the curtain to give the shadowhunter privacy once more. If she could walk all the way back from the subway to the Institute, she could stand and dress herself. At least she felt that she'd walked back from the subway, at this point she couldn't be too sure. She still wasn't thinking straight, though the dialogue that'd played out in her head suggested she'd made it back to the Institute on her own two legs until she fell over and didn't wake up again. Her hand reached around the back and pulled the zipper down of her dress, having to untangle herself from the shreds before it fell to the floor in a heap. It was ruined and would be burned, luckily it hadn't been a favorite.

The hoodie came over her head and her strapless bra easily, it was the pants she struggled with. After a few efforts she sighed heavily and sat back on the bed to pull the fabric over her legs. She hissed slightly as the pantleg shifted over her bandage, but sucked it up and got them all the way up. Luckily these were her own sweats, Alec's would've never fit her small waist and she'd have needed a way to tie them off. The hoodie was large enough for her to swim in, her figure rather small beneath the fabric, but her torso was long enough that it only fell just below her waistline. It smelled of him, a sort of earthy scent mixed with something else. She wondered suddenly if he'd slept in it before and felt herself blush. Clearly she wasn't in her right mind if she was thinking of Alec sleeping. She should be thinking of how she was going to get past the others to throttle him for taking her life into his own hands. "Alright, I'm decent." She called and Isabelle pulled away the screen. "I'll go tell Jace what you want for food, maybe he can manage Rata...what'd you call it again?" She asked and Audrina rolled her eyes. She had a lot of doubts that Brooklyn would have a french diner that served Ratatouille.

"Cordon Bleu, that'll be easier to find. If that doesn't work, surprise me." She paused and furrowed her brows. "On second thought, don't surprise me. I'll make my own food." She offered which made Isabelle give her a face. She was aware of how everyone thought of her cooking and was still trying to come to terms with the fact she just wasn't cut out for culinary. At least she found that out now before she sent someone to the infirmary gravely ill. It'd only take one badle cook piece of pork to possibly kill someone, even though shadowhunters were half angel. Resiliency of life was a trademark for them, but sometimes that human half sucked them under a lot easier than the angel half. Isabelle walked off then, leaving Audrina alone with Elijah once more. A part of her wondered if this was some part of a grand plan or something. Now you're just being crazy her mind pressed and she sighed, turning to him.

"I get the feeling you're not going to just let me walk out of here." She said flatly, feeling her pride tugging at her to go it alone like she always had. Considering how difficult it had been to put pants on, and how surprisingly hard it was to just stand at the moment, she didn't think she'd make out of the infirmary on her own. She sighed anew, already knowing what he would say and the look he would give. "Fine. You can help me, but if you think for a second you're carrying me you've got another thing coming." She half threatened before she made a tentative step toward him, limping badly and having to grab hold of the footboard of the bed to steady herself before going down. Now this was ridiculous. "Just...give me your shoulder." She said before she slipped her arm around him, pausing as she stood tall and felt his warmth rolling through the sweatshirt. Alec's smell from the hoodie dissipated and Eli's own musk wafted through her nose. She felt her heart hammer for a second before a comfort washed over her. She could vaguely recall having smelled this before, more recently than when he'd kissed her in the training room. Her mind couldn't pin point it and she quickly felt herself recovering from her thoughts. She couldn't travel down that road.

[Serendipity]

As Eli turned back around once Audrina had finished dressing behind the curtain he couldn't help the thought that she looked incredibly small in Alec's oversized hoodie. He wasn't used to seeing her in clothes that didn't cling to her in one way or another. Whilst he had been at the Institute it was always a pleasant surprise to see what outfit the blonde had chosen for the day. He couldn't help but appreciate her figure, some days it was a struggle to keep his eyes off of her even if Isabelle was in the same room wearing something similar. So to see Audrina now, almost swimming in the clothes she wore, it was kind of strange, but nonetheless pleasant in a cute kind of way. She would at least be comfortable in the oversized hoodie.

Isabelle and Eli both shared a quick look before the brunette left the infirmary, both silently agreeing that Audrina was still as stubborn as ever. He turned his gaze back to the blonde shadowhunter who was keeping herself standing by holding onto the end of the bed, and smirked as she spoke. "Your feelings would be correct." Eli said and walked closer to the bed where she was standing as she was already giving in to the fact that he was going to escort her out of the infirmary. He knew it was hurting her pride to do so, he also knew it would sting even more if he suggested that he use the wheelchair he'd spotted in the far corner of the room so he didn't mention it. "It would be quicker, but if you insist." He chuckled a little at her remark about him thinking twice if he thought he could carry her.

Eli came to stand next to her as she reached her arm out and it wound around his waist, her entire left side leaning into him for support. He didn't hesitate to slip one of his arms around her shoulders, being this close to her didn't bother him as he knew it would bother her. Eli let Audrina create the pace she wanted as they left the infirmary, and they both shuffled down the hall towards the bedrooms, stopping every now and then so she could rest. He suspected it was taking her a lot of effort to walk, even with his support, and at one point he almost picked her up because he'd seen the pained expression on her face.

He didn't pick her up though, aware that would only ruin the progress they had made earlier before Isabelle had interrupted them; Audrina had been opening up, even if it was only little by little and Eli didn't want to end up at square one again. Finally they made it to Audrina's room, and Eli opened the door letting her shuffle in first and lean by the wall once inside before he followed her in and then helped her over to the bed.

"Well...I'll let you get some rest, do you need anything before I go?" He asked, finding it a little uncomfortable to be in her room again after the last time he'd been here, and not to mention just a little guilty. He remembered how she'd curled into his long frame seemingly asleep only to then feel her lips at his neck, kissing her way up to his mouth. Eli looked away from the blonde as he felt himself flush, his heart hammered in his chest at the memory and he cleared his throat, getting himself under control before he looked back down at the girl whilst he waited for her answer. A part of him was a little hesitant to leave her, after spending the last four days in the infirmary with her worrying if she would ever wake up even though Isabelle constantly assured him that she would.

[Yunalesca]

Each time she had to stop to catch her breath and rest her leg the shadowhunter grew frustrated. She had been adept at taking care of herself for years and one slip up had her relying on someone else to assist her. It aggravated her to no end, even though in some small recess of her mind tugged the thought of how it was pleasant to have Eli being the one to help her to her room. He'd made an impression when he'd kissed her and it seemed it wasn't going to go away. In her current state she wasn't wholely bothered by this either. As much as she wished she could, she couldn't go against her genetic engineering to look at him and think about how he'd made her feel under his hands. The memory of the heat that'd coursed through her almost made her stumble, but Eli held her firmly and didn't let her fall. It was easily played off as her leg giving out instead of the reality of the fact she was thinking about him. These thoughts made her blood run hot as he was pressed ever so close to her and his heady scent was awash in her nose. It made her feel things she'd never felt before and even though it was frightening, parts of her wanted to explore it. The thoughts dissipated as they reached her room and his hand wrapped around the knob, tapping the door open with his foot.

Though she wouldn't say it out loud, she was glad he helped her into her bed. Her leg had been putting up a protest since they'd reached the hall of bedrooms and she had no doubts she never would've made it standing upright to her room if it weren't for his help. Although, with him helping her into bed brought back those previous thoughts. He was looking away, luckily, as her cheeks flushed at the intimacy the situation could possibly arise. Normally she'd lash out at this, and him, in anger, but she couldn't bring herself to feel that way in this moment. She blamed it on the current loopiness of her brain, but in reality she had been offered a taste of what it could be like to have someone, to care about someone, and she wanted more. You can't. It'll hurt you both, she chided and lowered her gaze from him. It was the first logical thing she had thought since waking up with him beside her. The voice was right. It would hurt her to have him and it would hurt him to lose her. And he would lose her. She had to remember her real purpose, her drive, and that didn't involve him. It involved freeing her mother's soul, in which she would likely die in the process. He didn't deserve that pain.

Her attention was brought back as he asked if she needed anything. Her brows furrowed slightly in intrigue. She would have expected him to bolt for the door, already be gone, but he was offering her more if she wanted it.After how she'd treated him she couldn't fathom why he would want to help her, why he'd stayed by her side those four days. He cares, can't you see it in his eyes? her mind made her ponder as she looked up at him. His eyes, she could get lost in those blue orbs. He was putting up a front of a guarded expression, but try as he might she could see it shimmering just beneath the surface. He cared about her and was trying to figure out if he should let her see it. She found she couldn't look away or say anything as she stared at him, her mind running with how she could wake up to those eyes every morning. All she would have to do was let go of this maddening life she had chose for herself. Was that what he was waiting for? For her to see what he felt and to walk away from her slaying and into his arms? You're imposing she thought and took a breath. Maybe that was what she -wanted- to see and made herself see it. That part of her that wanted to live was pushing her to him so she could survive. He might care, but he couldn't care enough to want her every day.

"I'll be alright, if Isabelle doesn't make me eat any of her science experiments sometime soon." She sighed with a small laugh. Isn't this easy? her mind toyed and she brushed it away. She couldn't travel that road. It'd been swept away a long time ago. She felt herself take a breath to say something more, but paused, then pushed forward again. "I'm going to say this before I'm back in my right mind, thank you. For staying there, for getting Magnus out of my head, for helping me here. It's hard for me to say, but I probably wouldn't be...a lot of things if you hadn't been there for me. It's not something I'm used to and you deserve commendation for standing...up to a High warlock." She said the last part as a laugh, like it was some inside joke between them. He'd stood up to Magnus Bane for her, how many could say that? The smile slowly faded from her face as she looked back up to him, almost losing herself in his eyes once more. She would have to be far more careful when she recovered. She was about to come up to that line that she should never cross, and she could almost feel that was what he wanted.

"But if you're going to be so generous, I suppose you can bring me something to eat before Izzy starts force feeding me." She said softly, finding herself struggling under his gaze. Her mind was trying to push her to him, the part that was easily quieted by the dominate half that was currently subdued in the fog. It couldn't understand why she resisted so hard. He wasn't a bad looking guy and he seemed to genuinely care, but he would get in the way of her path. That was the issue that kept her at bay. That was the issue that kept her at arms length from everyone. They would try to stop her and if she learned to care too much about them, she would let them. That wasn't something she could afford. As she thought about this she could feel her eyes closing, inadvertently falling asleep right in front of Eli. Her mind and body were too tired for the amount of calculations and movements she'd been making and they were shutting down to try and heal. She managed to murmur his name once before fulling dropping into the darkness, not even sure of what she'd wanted to say.

[Serendipity]

It seemed with each day that came and went his feelings for Audrina were growing, twisting, forming into something more, more then just lust. It had been lust, for Eli, at the beginning, a raw attraction that he'd never come across with anyone else before. Audrina's attitude towards intimacy and people in general had intrigued him; he'd needed to know the answers to the questions constantly running through his mind - why did she shy away from it, why didn't she have anyone in her life, why did she have an overwhelming need to slay vampires? Thinking about those questions, wanting the the answers for them, but discovering he couldn't because at every turn she'd push him away should have deterred him after the first week of his stay here. Instead, being just as stubborn as she was, he pushed back, persisted not afraid to show her who he was, to show her it wouldn't hurt to open up.

Little did he know at the time the true reason why she was so defensive and why she never let anyone past her barriers, maybe he would have been more gentle in his effort to break down her walls. He had no idea when lust had turned into affection, it all seemed to blur in the middle somewhere but he couldn't deny it, couldn't pass it off as just lust and once he got what he wanted he'd be satisfied. A part of Eli wanted to hide his feelings for her away, he'd guessed a while ago that they could never be returned and had even tried to distance himself from her, until the day he'd found her asleep in the library and he'd taken her back to her room. She'd kissed him, even if she thought she was dreaming, she'd been dreaming of him and it had changed everything. Now he was struggling with whether or not he should still hide the way he felt, or let her see it, let her see that someone could care for her, that they weren't afraid to see what was beyond the icy exterior she put up.

Eli sighed and looked back down at Audrina, who had made herself comfortable on her bed, trying to keep his expression from showing her everything. The way she was being now, this softer side of her where she wasn't pushing him away completely -although she wasn't letting him get too close either- was making it difficult for the dark haired shadowhunter to keep his distance. He could, if he wanted to, bust right through those walls that were crumbling at the edges, right now while she wasn't strong enough to keep him out. He didn't, it wouldn't be right to take advantage of her like that, and would make him no better then Magnus or Alec trying to erase her memory.

He smiled as she called Isabelle's cooking a science experiment, he had never -thankfully- tried any of Isabelle's cooking, but from the way the others spoke of it he guessed it was pretty bad. "I won't let her near your room if she's got anything other then take away for you." She had said she didn't need anything else, so he should have left, she was awake now, not as defenceless as she'd been when she was unconscious. She could take care of herself, he told himself, she didn't need him hanging around like some bodyguard. Eli was about to take a step back towards the door so he could turn and leave when she spoke next. He wasn't expecting another thank you from her, surely one would have been enough, and he hadn't needed one in the first place, let alone two in the same day, but the smile tugged further on his lips. He laughed with her a little as she mentioned Magnus again, obviously she was still surprised that he had done anything like that for her.

"Your welcome...And I'd do it again if I had to," He wasn't sure what made him say that, maybe it was because he could see her eyes slowly closing as her as sleep looked like it was taking her again. She'd be too tired to come up with a response, she might not have even heard him. Eli nodded as she asked if he could bring her something to eat before her eyes fully closed. He heard his name on her lips and smiled before he leant over and brushed her hair away from her face. Without thinking much of it, and because it came so naturally, he pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before he turned and left her room so she could sleep.

---

Eli returned to Audrina's room an hour later and knocked lightly on the door before pushing it open, he knew it would be a struggle for her to get up and open it, so he stuck his head just inside the door. "Audrina...I brought you food." He called softly to get her attention, he could have easily waltzed right into her room, but thought better of it and she might have still been sleeping. He'd showered and changed out of his own crumpled clothes, a fresh pair of jeans and plain white t-shirt, his hair still slightly damp from his shower.

"Cordon bleu like you requested." He clarified and pushed her door open a little further with his foot, and lifted the plate he'd dished the food onto in front of him so she could see.

[Yunalesca]

Cold and dark, that was what her surroundings were best described as while she warily stepped through the threshold of what may have once been a lavish dining hall. The table that had once served as a centerpiece had rotted and turned to dust on the floor. The chairs that had been around it were still rather intact, covered with crushed velvet that held the hickory wood more firmly together and resisted against the time and elements that wished to turn them into decrepit artifacts as their counterpart had become. Audrina’s grey eyes did a sweep of the room, her witchlight illuminating the path before her as she looked at more lavish relaxation chairs, held together once more with that crushed velvet. She took a breath and her exhale turned to smoke on the air, the vapors of her warm breath turning cold in the air.

“Audrina…” A seductive voice called from somewhere. She spun, unable to pinpoint where the echo had come from. She heard a soft laugh then, one she recognized and yet could not place. They were playing tricks with her, she was sure. Perhaps they had a witch at their disposal, her magic ebbing into her mind so slowly she had never noticed. Her mental blocks fell into place as she had attempted with Magnus, only these were made of firm steel, unwavering as she tried to feel for that demonic presence a witch would give off. She could feel nothing, however. No sense of magic, no sense of demons, just…death. “Audrina….” Came the soft voice again, almost angelic sounding, though the hairs on the back of her neck rose in warning. It was the voice of the dead, calling to her.

“Show yourself, undead spawn.” She hissed to the darkness as her eyes continued to dart around. It was the staircase that drew her attention. She had missed it before, it tucked in the corner of the room and barely noticeable. Now that she did see it, it was also elegant, railing of polished brass and the stairs themselves well looked after. She supposed vampires didn’t really have use for a dining table, but stairs to lure their pray up was valuable. It was the small clicks at the top of the staircase that had drawn her attention to them. They were continuing down, though a set of heavier footfalls were coming first.

“Oh Audrina, you have grown. I don’t doubt your sister would be just as beautiful.” Came the voice as two sets of feet came into the light. “Won’t you join me now, dear? Aurelie had been so eager, yet you, you push back. Don’t you want to be at your mother’s side again?” Came the angelic voice and the shadowhunters chest tightened at the mention of her dead sister. She stared at the folds of her mother’s gown, her face still not having come into view. She didn’t need to see it, she could still remember it. No doubt it would be unchanged by time, still perfect like a china doll.

“Don’t speak of her! I will never join you. I’ve come to set your soul free.” She informed which set another angelic laughter in the air. It made her skin crawl, how it sounded so much like her mother and yet death lingered in her voice.

“I think you will once you see what it is I have to show you,” came her mother’s voice before both sets of feet were coming slowly down the stairs once more. The shadowhunters breath caught and her heart stopped beating for a second as her mother and another body came into view. She had a firm grip on their shoulders and her mouth was lingering ever so close to their neck. The seductive and knowing smile on her mother’s face made the shadowhunters blood run to ice.

“Eli…” She breathed as her mother nuzzled at his neck. She watched him stiffen beneath her, a look of pain crossing his eyes as the first stings of tears burned at the corner of her eyes. “Let him go.” She begged and a new smile came to her mother’s lips.

“Join me or he dies.” She said, Audrina’s chest caving as the promise held on the air.



As a knock and voice came to her door she felt herself take a breath and wake, feeling like she couldn’t get enough air. She lay where she was, eyes shifting to be sure of her surroundings as the voice came again. She was in her room, it’d all been a dream, one strong enough to make her stop breathing it felt like. “Come in.” Her voice called hoarsely as she tried to catch her breath anew, shifting to sit up against the headboard, hand clenched around Alec’s hoodie above her heart. It felt like it was about to burst from her chest, working double time to keep the supply of oxygen in her blood that it had just been deprived of.

As she heard the door open fully her eyes were downcast, focused on the bedspread to keep her expressions hidden from Eli. She hadn’t heard a word he’d said, her attention solely on the nightmare she’d just been through. She hadn’t had one dream in the four days she had been out and this most definitely made up for it. She recalled the pain in her chest at the sight of Eli just under her mother’s fangs, the ultimatum made to the shadowhunter. Join me or he dies echoed in her ears and she clenched the fabric over her chest even more. Even now the thought was painful. Her eyes slowly came up to Eli as though to make sure he was indeed alive before quickly averting as she could feel the pain and fear reflecting in her gaze. It would happen. He would die if he got too close to her, she was sure of it. She couldn’t afford any more indulgences, any more passing glances of longing or heated kisses. Even to think of them would be far too dangerous. The best way to protect him, and herself, would be to push him away.

But…I don’t want to, she thought and furrowed her brows anew. It was one thing to think of him, it was entirely something else to actually want him near her.

[Serendipity]

Eli wasn’t sure how, but the moment she called for him to come in, in that hoarse voice, and he pushed the door open to see her sitting up against the pillows, he knew something was wrong. She looked just as tired as when he’d left her an hour ago, even if he couldn’t see them he knew there’d be dark circles under her eyes from a restless sleep. She wasn’t looking at him either, it was like she -couldn’t- look at him. He didn’t say anything at first as he walked through the door and then pushed it shut with the back of his heel. He set the plate of food down on the side-table beside the bed and sat down on the edge of her bed near her legs; he was sure it was still too close, but he didn’t care he wanted to be close to her - all the time.

She’d had another bad dream, he could tell, and he frowned at the thought of it, remembering how painful her last bad dream had been. Whatever this one had been he couldn’t be sure if it was worse or not, but it still had clearly upset her. Eli tried to catch her gaze, but she refused to look at him. He could be wrong, but it was almost as if she were embarrassed to do so incase he saw her nightmare reflected in her eyes and he’d see the pain and fear it caused her. He sighed softly and ran his fingers through his dark hair as he tried to figure out what to say to her, something that would comfort her, but she might only think he was feeling sorry for her.

“Another bad dream?” The words spilling from his lips before he could catch himself, and he cursed himself inwardly. He’d only meant to ask her if she’d -had- a bad dream, not if she’d had -another- bad dream. As far as Audrina was aware he had never witnessed one of her nightmares, she probably didn’t even know it was him who had carried her back to her room the morning he found her asleep in the library. She most likely thought that either Jace or Alec had returned her to her room, although it seemed more like a Jace thing to do, she would never have thought he would do such a thing.

“I mean...did you have a bad dream? It doesn’t look like you’ve had any sleep at all.” He quickly corrected, hoping she wouldn’t notice the slip up, although the way she was looking up at him now he didn’t think she had. “Maybe I can see if Hodge can make you something to help you sleep?” He added, holding her gaze even though he wanted to look away as her eyes narrowed slightly and he suspected he might be in trouble. Then again maybe she wouldn’t get angry over it, since she’d woken she had been almost a different person, softer and not as defensive towards him.

[Yunalesca]

Her thoughts were halted as she felt Eli's weight at the foot of the bed, right beside her legs. She could feel his body heat washing over her feet, up her ankles and beyond. Had she grown that cold from her dream, or was she just becoming that aware of him? She knew it was a combination of both, though it was more of the latter than anything. She could define his scent, his warmth, his voice. She could define it so well that her mind had projected it in her dream the morning before she'd been attacked. Her breath caught at the memory of that dream, how sweet and soft his kiss had felt against her lips. Her hand almost trailed up to her face, to touch her lips at the memory, but she refrained. He didn't need to know she'd dreamed of him so intimately, didn't need to know she had just dreamed of him again. He shouldn't be in her dreams, she argued. None of the others had ever been a part of her dreams or nightmares. None of them saved your memories from Magnus, though, did they? her mind pressed and her brows furrowed in response before her hand finally dropped away from her chest.

It was then that she heard Eli speak, asking if she'd had another nightmare. She wasn't aware that he had been watching her as haunting memories of her past played out in her sleep, that he'd held her close and brought her from them. She still thought those all had been dreams, that he'd never really been there, but had been a very good projection from her mind. She did manage an almost confused frown, however, at his statement. Another bad dream? How could he know that all her dreams were nightmare's? She didn't even begin to fathom that he'd been there for the last one, however. Instead her mind took another route, refusing to believe that maybe what she'd done with him hadn't been a dream and she'd only thought it was. No, he could likely tell from her body language, her lack of breath, the circles under her eyes. She hadn't slept well since shortly after his arrival and it was beginning to tell. How else could he come to that conclusion?

She brought her eyes up as he corrected himself, brows furrowing anew. Why did he feel the need to backstrack and essentially ask the same thing twice? It was confusing and her head began to pound again. Her mind was still trying to mend the damage Magnus had caused in forcing his way through, every little thought she had that went too in depth making a migraine come on. She didn't know what he'd done inside, but breaking through her walls and failing to put in a block was making her mind foggy and hurt. If one could hemorrhage from mind tricks and toying with memories, then she would surely be dead from it by now. There were times when she felt like her brain was seeping fluids from her ears, that some kind of cancer had lodged itself into her brain and prevented her from making calculations. She knew it was just her brain trying to recover as was her body, but it didn't make her feel any better about the situation. She couldn't even think without her brain shutting down for its own recovery. And it was because of this she didn't even suspect he had really been there that morning and she'd really been kissing him.

It was his next statement that made her grow angry, the emotion rising up so easily through the fog. It had managed to get buried after her outburst at Alec's treachery and the warlock who'd invaded her mind, but now it was bursting at the seams. It was her tired body and mind that managed to stop it from being unleashed, however. She felt it return to a quiet simmer just beneath the surface as she looked Eli in the eyes. That familiar dark cast was plastered to her features as she stared at him, though it did manage to soften with the dissipating anger. "I've had more than enough invasions in my mind lately. I know you think it'd help, but I don't really want to be incapacitated to the point I may not be able to respond to an attack again, and Hodge's potion would do just that. I'd rather suffer in silence." She confirmed his earlier suspicions of having had a bad dream, but let it slide. No sense in denying something he could so clearly see.

It was then, as her eyes averted, that she noticed the cordon bleu plated on the table next to her bed. Her brow rose in surprise before she looked back to Eli, the anger she'd been feeling having gone away to be replaced by another emotion. Apparently she could only feel one at a time or her head would seemingly explode. "How...He actually found a place that has that?" She questioned, a small smile slowly tugging at the corners of her mouth. She hadn't expected it, not really. She figured he would say tough luck and make her eat what she was given. "I doubt it'll be as good as the real thing. They don't ever quite make it like France." She commented, a sudden longing striking her in the chest. She frowned at this. She hadn't missed France, not since she'd brought her sisters ashes to the City of Bones. It held too many bad memories for her, but it seemed her heart still belonged there somehow, even if she didn't want it. "I guess we shall see how this American take on it tastes." She said as she pushed the feelings aside. She didn't want to talk about France, didn't want to share her memories with Eli. It hurt too much.

[Serendipity]

Eli’s frown deepened as he saw the anger simmering just beneath the surface in her grey orbs, clearly he’d said the wrong thing as he struggled to distract her from thinking too much into his slip up of words. Admitting that he had really been there that day whilst she’d thought she was dreaming was definitely a bad idea, but it didn’t stop him from feeling guilty over it and obviously his conscience was trying to trick him into telling her. The anger he saw now however was for different reasons, because he’d suggested to get Hodge to make her a sleeping draught. He should have realised suggesting such a thing wouldn’t be a good idea either, not after having Magnus invading her mind trying to put a block up, he should have known she wouldn’t want to be defenceless against something like that again. He just hated seeing her looking so...wrecked.

“Alright.” He nodded and offered a small almost apologetic smile for making the suggestion. He wished he had something else to offer her in a way of helping her sleep, other than climbing into bed with her again since the last time he’d done so her nightmares had dissipated into more pleasant dreams. Dreams of you, he reminded himself and almost grinned at the thought. “Once you eat something you might feel better, a full stomach always makes it easier for me to get to sleep.” Eli suggested and indicated to the plate of food he’d brought in for her, although it seemed she was already noticing it sitting there.

Her seeing the sandwich proved to be great distraction as she no longer seemed as angry as before, a new emotion taking over the first one. He was very aware how up and down she was at the moment with her emotions, and was just glad that she hadn’t exploded at him yet, although he could tell a few times she’d almost wanted to. Something was holding her back from it though, and he hadn’t quite figured out what, but could only guess that she was just too exhausted to get really angry. Eli’s smile turned into a grin at the surprised look on the blondes face, she really hadn’t thought that Jace would be able to find -or want to go to so much trouble to find her what she’d asked for. “He did, we couldn’t believe it either, but there it is.” He waved a hand at the plate and chuckled softly.

“It might not be so bad, but I guess if you’ve had the real deal before it won’t be the same.” Eli reached for the plate so Audrina wouldn’t have to move to get it and passed the plate to her. He saw her hesitate before picking up the sandwich as though she were still unsure if she wanted to even try it. “Jace’s feelings might get hurt if I tell him that you wouldn’t even try any of it after he went through all that trouble to get it.” Eli urged, it wasn’t just about Jace’s feelings getting hurt though, he wanted her to eat something, even if it was just a few bites.

“At least its not frogs legs or snails…” Eli’s nose scrunched at the thought; weren’t they french delicacies? “Unless you like frogs legs and snails.” He added with a grin that was a cross between disgust and amusement at the idea of anyone liking frogs legs and snails.

[Yunalesca]

Audrina took the plate in hand, watching Eli as she did so. He was being nice to her, waiting on her as though she weren't capable of doing it herself. Normally this would be frustrating and she would lash out at it, but for the moment she was content with the feeling. She'd never had someone look after her like this, not really. Her parents had when she was younger, but shadowhunters never got sick like the Mundane's. SHe'd never had a cold or the flu that kept her bedridden. When she was old enough she had learned to take care of herself and her sister while their parents were out hunting. This was an entirely new experience for her and she was content to let it go on for the time being. Her eyes dropped from him and to the cordon bleu, examining it as she lifted it off the plate that she let rest in her lap. Just by feel she could tell it was on the wrong bread, her expression giving away her dissatisfaction. She didn't vocalize this, however, and made her first attempt at biting into the sandwhich. The ingredients were essentially correct, but the flavors were all off. Processed meats and not seasoning correctly made it taste off. Beggars couldn't be choosers, but halfway through it and she'd had about enough.

"Can't do it. It's hurting my culinary soul a little too much to taste everything that's wrong with this. You want the rest of it?" She offered after she'd set the sandwhich back on the plate and gave it a dissatisfied look. She appreciated the gesture from Jace for actually finding the food for her, but she couldn't look past her standards and enjoy it. As she offered it to him she didn't even think that maybe he wouldn't want it after she'd been eating it. Nothing more mature than 'cooties' could come to her mind on the matter and it made her think that maybe she needed more sleep. She was never immature enough to use the Mundane word for boy and girl germs. She may have been out for four days but she felt like she hadn't slept in seven. Her body ached, even now that she was comfortable in her own bed, and her head throbbed from thinking too much.

Her eyes drifted to Eli as her unusual train of thought was taking over. She felt herself looking at him, really looking at him, in that moment. She traced the curves of his face, thinking of how soft his skin had been when her hand brushed past it as he'd kissed her on the training room floor. She remembered the silky hardiness of his hair as her hand devled into it, grasping it as though she couldn't get enough of him. Her eyes stopped on his and saw deep into that blue ocean, the kindness and a sort of mirth mingling in that look. She felt herself stop breathing and had to remind herself to do so again. She'd never really noticed how breathtaking he could be, never taken the time to actually look at him. She suddenly wished she hadn't. She could see what she could have right in front of her and that remote part of her that was lost in the fog wanted to shirk away, take control of her body anew and pull away from him. It couldn't however and she felt herself growing tired at the efforts that part of her was making.

Without a word she felt herself falling asleep again. Her breathing slowed and the hammering heart in her chest quieted. Sleep her mind was caressing and she felt herself wanting to fight against it. The nightmares would come when she slept. They always came when she was at rest, when she was conscious enough of what was going on around her. Sleep her mind echoed again and she found she was too tired to fight back against it. Her eyes started to close again and she didn't fight against it this time. The velveteen blackness began to surround her as her head dipped to the side against her headboard. For the moment at least her face was peaceful, though in the recesses of her mind she was preparing for the bad dreams that would surely come.

[Serendipity]

He could see, as she bit into the bread and chewed, that she didn’t think the cordon bleu was any good and tried to hide the amused smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. She had said it wouldn’t be any good, not like the real thing from the dishes home country, and it looked as if she’d been right. He was both amused and relieved that Audrina took another bite of her meal, it was easy to tell she wasn’t enjoying it at all, but ate more of it anyway because she needed to eat -something-. Eli held out his hand just as she announced she couldn’t eat any more of it and his eyes crinkled at the edges as he watched her with obvious mirth while she struggled to swallow what was still in her mouth. “I’ll eat the rest. I’ll eat just about anything...I think its a male thing,” He took the plate from her, he wasn’t even concerned with sharing ‘germs’, but if he knew she’d been wondering about it he probably would have laughed.

“At least you’ve eaten something more substantial than soup,” He pointed out as he bit into the bread, setting the plate on his lap. Eli, who had never had the opportunity to have a real cordon bleu, didn’t know what she was fussing about. The sandwich tasted fine to him and he took another bite. He was aware that she was watching him but pretended otherwise, not finding a need to point it out or becoming self conscious as he chewed. Neither of them said anything whilst he finished off the cordon bleu, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence and he found himself thinking that it was nice.

Wiping the crumbs from his lips with the back of his hand he leant over and placed the now empty plate back beside her bed and it was then he noticed her eyes beginning to close. She was still sleep deprived and her body was most likely taking over at this point, it wanted her to rejuvenate and for the time being the only thing she could do to start that process was sleep. He looked down at her now, her features peaceful, though how long they would remain like that only time could tell. He’d been sitting right beside her for the last four nights, holding her hand, and the majority of the time he’d ended up falling asleep still holding her hand with his head resting on the mattress beside her. He knew she wasn’t in the same state anymore, she would sleep and then wake up, but he felt that same pang of concern bubble in the pit of his stomach.

He’d found her waking from one of her bad dreams already, it had prevented her from getting the proper rest she needed, made the circles under her eyes darker and she would never recover in the expected time if everytime she closed her eyes the nightmares were there. He couldn’t bring himself to leave, even though he knew she would wake up again and wouldn’t be happy if he was still in her room. Before he could talk himself out of it he stretched himself out, facing her, on the bed and tentatively reached out to wipe the crumbs she had missed at the corners of her mouth with his thumb.

This was really becoming a thing for him he realised, climbing into bed with her while she was asleep, if she knew she’d probably think it was creepy. But the need to be with her only seemed to grow stronger every day, especially after she almost hadn’t recovered from the demon bite. It wasn’t just the need to be near her that kept him there, but there was also a need to take care of her that was just as strong, and mixed amongst all of that a fierce protectiveness. Audrina would hate all of those feelings if she knew he felt them for her, her walls would go up before he even had time to click his fingers even whilst she wasn’t still fully recovered.

He didn’t worry about that at the moment however as he already saw the peacefulness of her sleeping face turn fearful as she fought to keep the painful memories at bay. The dark haired shadowhunter, reached out and gently pulled her into chest and like before his hand smoothed back her blonde hair, keeping the motion slow and calming. It was an effort, but he managed to steady his hammering heart into an even rhythm, afraid that she might hear its erratic beating and it would wake her up.

Eli hadn’t meant to fall asleep himself, he’d been hoping he would sense her stirring and could leave before she knew he’d been there with her. He might not have been exhausted and drained from his body using all its energy to try and heal itself, but he hadn’t had the most comfortable sleep the past three nights and had often ended up waking up in the middle of the night to make sure that the girl who was now curled into his chest, was still breathing. He’d also wanted to remain awake so that if she happened to become restless from a bad dream he could soothe her back into a peaceful sleep.

His lids had grown heavy after a while and before he knew it he was asleep, one arm curled gently over her waist on top of the blanket and his other resting just above the top of her hair against the pillows.

[Yunalesca]

The bad dreams never came for her like they usually did within the first twenty minutes of sleep. She couldn't say what exactly kept them at bay except that things seemed to change in her mind as that familiar scent came back to her. It was that pure masculine smell, small notes of other things making it definable in her mind. She was smelling Eli and gave a relaxed sigh when the warmth of something enveloped her. She could feel herself moving slightly, though she was too tired to make an effort to wake. It was all just a dream probably, or maybe her body was adjusting to a more comfortable position than how it’d been seated before. She felt herself nuzzle in closer to the warmth, to get as close as possible against it as it seemed to be the one thing keeping her nightmares at bay. She could feel them just at the edge, licking at the perimeter of her mind, trying to edge in and haunt her. The warmth, however, kept them out and offered her peaceful rest that her body and mind so needed.

She didn’t dream at all and wasn’t sure of how long she actually slept. All she did know was that the warmth never left her, that Eli’s scent was constantly fresh in her nose. In thinking that he was still close she felt herself relaxed. It was a slight whisper that finally woke her. Her eyelids slowly opened, her vision blurry as she did so. She was still in her room, but something was…off. It took her a moment more, but she realized what it was. She was laying on someone, their even breathing moving her with their chest as they too seemed to be sleeping. Normally she would have panicked, but her mind was still so fogged that she couldn’t bring the reaction to bear. She took a deep breath and smelled him, his scent that was so familiar. She had been sleeping on Eli. When did this happen? she questioned, almost wanting to pull away, but finding herself unable to. It wasn’t that his grip around her was too strong, it was that she didn’t –want- to move. She was comforted as he held her there, something unusual for her again.

Never in her life had she felt any sort of attraction for anyone. She might have had crushes when she was a kid, she couldn't remember any if she had. But as she looked up at the peaceful face of Eli as he slept she felt the tell tale signs emerging. She liked him, probably had since the day after she'd brought him to the Institute, but she never allowed herself the time or frame of mind to think of it. She probably knew on some subconscious level, part of the reason she had pushed back against him so much harder than anyone else before. She had learned to tolerate the others, but Eli had become something else. He frustrated her because of how persistent he was in his pursuit of her, of trying to get to know her. Nobody else had tried that hard and it left her not knowing what else to do besides be mean and shirk away his advances. None of it seemed to work, though. He'd wanted to kiss her and did. He'd stayed at her bedside as the demon poison left her system. He'd fended off a Warlock from her mind. He'd done everything she'd never expect of anyone and more. And she liked it, liked how he made her feel, liked how easy it could be between them when she wasn't being the ice queen. And yet it was dangerous to feel for him. He would get hurt by her, badly. He didn't deserve that.

Her eyes shifted to his arm that was around her, the gesture relaxed and yet almost possessive. Had he pulled her into him when she’d passed out on him? She couldn’t remember any of it and thought of how to get out of his grip quietly. Stay her mind almost pleaded and her brows furrowed. Normally she would have exploded by now, thrown him from her bed, and yet she was there not moving in his arms. As she heard his heart beating steadily in his chest she decided she didn’t want to go anywhere. Instead she found herself folding into him more and her hand ran across his chest until it folded around his side. It felt right in his arms right at that moment and that was all she could think before she was falling asleep again. Her prior thoughts of hurting him, of being hurt, slipped away in her dreamless sleep. His face, his scent, his presence was the only thing that was at the forefront of her mind and it should have scared her, but oddly enough it didn't. It helped her fall deeper into rest and gave her body and mind the time it needed to heal. For the first time in forever she felt like nothing could happen to her with him near, watching over her, cradling her.

[Serendipity]

Even as he slept he was aware of Audrina’s presence, the way her head was resting near his shoulder, he nose inches from his chest, the top of her hair threatening to tickle his nose; she was so close if he were awake he might have been able to feel her heart beating. She was a comforting warmth he clung to, his arm still lying over hip even after she must have curled onto her side closer to him, the weight of the limb preventing her from rolling away from him too easily, although she’d be able to if she’d wanted. Eli was so relaxed in sleep that he didn’t feel her stir and had no knowledge that she’d woken up first to find him there; however she didn’t recoil from him once realising how intimate the situation was and he didn’t stir.

Who knew how long they’d been asleep together like this for, a few minutes, a few hours of undisturbed sleep without any bad dreams on Audrina’s part. Just like last time his presence had lulled her into a peaceful sleep as her presence, her warmth, her scent, and the way her body relaxed into his now did the same for him. They fit together so comfortably, one might say that they’d been made for each other if there were such things as people being made for each other. He’d never thought he could have believed in something like that before, only a month ago he would have thought that it was ridiculous, but whether or not it was true it didn’t change the fact that they fitted together now.

A sigh escaped his lips as he felt a soft sort of pressure run across his chest until it stopped at his side and remained there. It was Audrina’s hand running along his shirt before it stopped at his side, her arm almost matching the one he had laid over her side. He felt the warm feeling draw closer into him and his lips twitched into a small smile as he sighed again. That warm feeling had never left, because she hadn’t pulled away even after she’d awoken to find him sleeping beside her.

Eli wasn’t sure what time it was when his eyes finally blinked out, but the sun had disappeared from the sky, Audrina’s room had fallen into complete darkness now with the lamp on the table beside her bed still turned off. It was a few seconds after he opened his eyes that they adjusted a little to the surrounding darkness and he realised he wasn’t in his own bed and less than that before he realised Audrina had folded herself as much as she could into the curve of his outstretched body. You weren’t supposed to fall asleep, idiot. He silently scolded himself as he tilted his chin downwards so he could just see the top of her head, the rest of her face was buried in his chest and now that he was awake he could feel the warmth of her breath seeping through his shirt every time she exhaled.

His arm was still around her, his hand lay almost flat against her back, and one of his legs had ended up through hers - or one of hers had ended up over his, he couldn’t know for sure. His heart rate, which had previously been a steady rhythm in his chest, grew faster as he realised just how close they were. He inhaled a shaky breath as he tried to get it back under control and wondered how he’d go about detangling himself from her without waking her up. But he couldn’t come up with any way that it could be done which didn’t involve having to wake her up, her leg it seemed was actually curled around his calf. Don’t move. You know you don’t want to leave yet. It was true, he didn’t want to move, he wanted to stay like this for as long as he could and if they were both accepting of such intimacy he might have gently tilted her chin up and trailed kisses along her jaw to her mouth to wake her up.

Eli tensed as he felt heat pool in places it shouldn’t at the moment and tried to push the image he’d created in his own mind away. He shouldn’t be this close to her, not when he was having thoughts like that. He tried to remove his leg from underneath hers, but the moment he moved he thought he heard her whisper something underneath her breath. She’s waking up, Eli thought and stilled.