i never asked to be saved [r], mortal instruments - Seren

[Serendipity]

His heart hammered away in his chest, but for different reasons now as he pulled her into his arms. He felt the heat of her skin through the think material of her sleep top with his arm resting lightly over her back, it seeped into him, chasing away some of his nerves and replacing it with an excited contentment of having her so close. He forced his breathing to a steady pace, slow even breaths in and out in an attempt to calm his racing heart because if he wasn’t careful, Audrina would feel the rapid beat inside his chest. Whenever she was this close it became difficult for him to keep control of his own physical reactions, like his beating heart or racing pulse, or how the way she looked at him sometimes could leave him breathless. But he’d never had more self control than with her, he surprised even himself with how gentle he could be with her. She brought out a softer side to him that he never knew he had, and the protective nature everyone had for those they cared about was heightened for Eli when he was around her.

He closed his eyes briefly as they both got comfortable in each others arms, but opened them to look down at her as he asked his question and waited for her response. Their eyes met and held, and he smiled at her response, a little sigh leaving his lips and he nodded as she asked if he were also comfortable. “Yes,” More then you could know, he added silently to himself and because when they let it intimacy came easily between them, he placed a soft kiss to her forehead before pulling his head back so he had a better view of her. Eli’s gaze dropped between them as she brought one of her hands over his heart as though she needed to be reassured that it was still beating. He only hoped not too fast that she would guess how he was feeling in this moment.

Her words surprised him, he never expected that she would be feeling guilt over what had happened to his brother, that she might think it was somehow her fault. His expression tightened a little as he remembered now that Travis, because he had slain Maddox, wasn’t just a Werewolf, but also an alpha. “Hey…” Eli murmured quickly as she squeezed her eyes shut, and he unhooked his arm from around her waist so he could gently brush some of her hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear. “You didn’t cause anything to happen to Travis. It was always going to be him or me that took down M- the alpha.” Eli explained softly though he couldn’t bring himself to say Maddox’s name out loud. “It might not be such a bad thing,” He reassured her.

Travis hadn’t appeared at all unhappy about suddenly being an alpha when Eli had spoken with him, he’d seemed to be taking it in his stride and was perhaps even a little less fearful of what might happen to him next now that he had a new found authority over the beings that had made his life hell for the past few months. “He’s got Luke to help him adjust, and he knows I’m there for him. We’ll work it all out. He’s a little different now, but he’s still my brother. And I have him back...thanks to you.” Eli continued softly, speaking some of his thoughts aloud for Audrina’s benefit, so she also knew that he didn’t blame her for anything.

[Yunalesca]

As she felt his hand shift from her side to brush at her hair her breath caught almost painfully in her throat. You didn't cause anything to happen she headed him say but wanted to shake her head at him. If she hadn't been stupid enough to run right into his arms then maybe Travis would be free. Maybe they could have worked something out with him after he saw them slay his own pack. He never cared about them. He would have slaughtered you all her mind reasoned even though she didn't want to hear it. She was in steep denial that things played out as they were meant to. It was easier to blame herself and feel guilt than accept this was what should have happened. She took guilt for her family's death and so felt the same for Travis. She had done something to deserve the blame. Or that was the tragedy she always believed.

A soft sound of anguish came from her, almost a moan of pain, as he thanked her for getting his brother back. She didn't deserve that and wished he hadnt said it. She'd caused more problems than good no matter how she looked at it. Travis couldnt leave now unless he abandoned the pack completely and would be in exile for the rest of his life if the word traveled. They wouldnt be able to return to London together. If she was so close yet so far to take her sister away she would die on the inside every day. Even if he couldnt step foot in another Institute at least they would have each other. "You can't go anywhere with him. You can't return home." She pointed out painfully, remembering this wasn't his home and that he had only come here looking for Travis.

New York wasn't her home either, but in her heart she hadn't had one since her sister died. She had left her childhood home abandoned. As much as she loved France and missed it at times, it wasn't home for her. Just a painful memory in the back of her mind that came to haunt her more frequently as of late. "I should have known better. You can't think this is what he wanted. I should have killed him and let the Clave come down on me." She said quietly, still unable to say 'Maddox' as though the name would bring him back to life.

She took a breath to try and stop the traiunwreck going on in her mind. The guilt was snowballing and nearly sending her into a panic attack, something she didn't experience often. Her mind was overloaded and deprived if sleep. Her body ached from falling through a window and hitting the ground from a story above, not to mention the three times Where's had tried choking the life out of her. One saving grace with vampires was their want to kill you quickly, not watch as you struggled for air beneath their crushing hand. Where's reminded her of Hyenas that ate their prey alive. That would have happened if not for Travis she reminded herself as her mind was trying to pick around the details. He may be alpha now, but if he wasn't she may be one of them by now or worse. She should be thankful not guilt ridden.

[Serendipity]

It unsettled him that she was so distressed and thinking that Travis becoming the alpha was her fault, that despite what she may say to the contrary she cared about people and what happened to them and if it was something she thought she had done it caused her great heartache. He smoothed back her hair once more before he let his hand rest lightly at the back of her neck, taking in what she had said about not being able to return home. After his mother had died and he and his brother had left Idris and his family home behind, he’d never had a home after that, not really. He could never call the Institute in London home, it was merely a place he and his brother stayed, a place the Clave had sent them too after their parents deaths. He couldn’t speak for Travis, but he hadn’t called it home and the only reason he’d go back was for his brother. Travis, even if he did think of the Institute in London home, couldn’t go back now that he was a downworlder and that wasn’t Audrina’s fault, she hadn’t turned him into what he was.

“Home...it’s where you make it isn’t it? Or so I’ve heard.” He said softly, consideringly, and sighed a little. “The Institute in London was just a place where the Clave sent us when we needed a roof over our heads. It was never really home for me.” Eli explained, the words coming out far too easily before he could keep them in check. He hadn’t spoken of how he and Travis had ended up in London, or where their parents were. But after he mentioned what he’d just said, he realised that it didn’t bother him if she knew. He wasn’t about to go into his life story with her now, but if she asked he would answer her questions.

He shook his head when she said that she should have known better and should have been the one to kill Maddox even if it meant the Clave would come after her. “No, don’t think that.” He urged and caught her gaze in his. “I’m sure Travis never considered what becoming an alpha would mean, he’d barely come to terms with what being a downworlder meant. But would he do what he did again if it meant saving your life - any life?” He let the question hang in the air for a bit, so she could take what he was trying to explain on board. “If he’s anything like me -” Eli grinned a little before he continued, “He would have. And I bet he’s going to love being his own boss.” If he knew his brother at all, and he was pretty sure he did, Travis would accept what had happened to him with grace and make the most of it. At least that was what Eli told himself Travis would do, he also needed some convincing that his brother would be okay, and he too could only hope for the best.

Eli saw how tired Audrina was becoming as they laid there together and decided that their discussion about his brother and his trying to convince her none of it was her fault could be done tomorrow. They both needed to rest, and with the other near hopefully it would be a peaceful one. “We can talk tomorrow….for now we should get some sleep.” He told her gently.

[Yunalesca]

Her eyes were forced to his as his hand left her hair and rested at the back of her neck. Part of her expected him to kiss her just to keep her quiet, but when it never came she was actually relieved. She had admitted to herself that she liked kissing him, but after what had happened only hours ago she couldn't handle it. Just being next to him was a huge leap for her even if that was what she wanted. She wanted to look away when he spoke, but he was being gentle and every word went straight to her heart. If home was where the heart was, where was her home? More importantly to her, where was his? You know the answer she thought before he commanded her attention anew. Her gaze refocused as he pressed her to believe it wasn't as bad as it seemed. She had been thinking that Travis had been rash in his decision, but maybe he'd been more calculating than she'd imagined. He could make the pack what he wanted now. She swallowed her grief and nodded slightly to him in understanding.

"If that's what you believe." She offered before finally dropping her eyes. He provided a convincing argument but she wasn't quite ready to give up on her feelings. She would have to see for herself before the sickly wrapping around her heart was removed. Until she could be sure it would follow her around like her guilt if her sisters death. All the would haves and could have beens were haunting, but she forgot how to be positive in this works of killing demons and being invisible to so many people. She knew she was an air of negativity and anger, but Eli had steadily been working his way through her to make her see what she really was, what she used to be. She could be fun and loving and unafraid of feelings. One just had to get past her exterior made of the hardest materials. Persistence was a quality about him that likely had her coming to him tonight. She had been unwelcoming toward him and he still fought to get inside her head. Possibly unbeknownst to him he had also found a way into her heart.

When his voice came again she could only nod. They were both tired and she had come here with the intention to sleep, not discuss the topic in which gave her nightmares. With a heaviness of sleepiness she allowed herself to curl into him, her head shifting from his arm to bury into his chest. She felt him wrap further around her like a cocoon and suddenly she felt safe. The only other time this happened was before when he'd done the same, crawling into bed with her to banish the dreams that kept her tossing and turning. She took in his scent and felt herself getting pulled further under, being lulled by the steady cadence of his heartbeat. Just as she was about to fall all the way a thought came into her head. "Eli, if he goes through with it, help him with better real estate." She said with humor before her eyes closed for good, one hand on his side and the other clinging to his shirt.
*

She couldn't tell the time when she woke, only knowing they had shifted in their sleep so she was turned away from him and he had her pulled protectively into his body. She felt she should be afraid of this position, something that led to more, but she wasn't as she felt that her arms were wrapped around his. She closed her eyes once more to take in the feelings. Warmth, strength, comfort, and something else she hadn't felt before. She knew the word, but couldn't bring it to bear now. It was too strong a word and it would send her into fright. She let it go as she ducked her head down half under the covers while the fingers of her right hand moved to intertwine with his. They fit well together, almost absurdly like they had been molded for each other. We make a good team she heard her voice in her head again as she focused in the tingling of her neck from Eli's breath. This would have to stop, but for now she stayed and let herself imagine waking like this every day.

[Serendipity]

"Eli, if he goes through with it, help him with better real estate." He heard Audrina murmur softly as they both drifted to sleep, he didn’t miss the humor behind her words and chuckled. “Sure thing,” He said and a small smile followed as she buried her head into his chest, he was just as tired and the moment his eyes closed his mind began to shut down as sleep took over. This time when he slept there were no images of the nights events to jostle him into fitful dreams, only a peaceful black behind his lids. Even in sleep he was aware of Audrina’s presence, and that he was holding her, her warmth seeped into him and brought him solace. In his arms he knew that she was safe, and that she wasn’t going anywhere.

---

He wasn’t sure how long he slept or what time it was when he sensed Audrina stir in his arms, the feeling of her fingers entwining with his confirmed that she was awake, or near waking. Somewhere during the night, or perhaps the early hour of the morning, Audrina had shifted her position on the bed and her back was facing him. He half smiled, his eyes still closed, a little reluctant to open them just yet if it would mean that it was time to get up.Eli curled his fingers around hers and with a soft murmur he pulled her further into his chest, his eyelids fluttering but still he refused to open them.

“Stay asleep,” He whispered, tucking his head closer to hers so he spoke near her ear. “If we stay asleep, reality won’t touch us.” He continued to whisper, since he hadn’t opened his eyes yet it would make it easier for him to stay asleep and keep reality at bay a little longer. Though he wasn’t the only person sleeping in his bed and they might not have shared the same thoughts as he did. There was no response from Audrina straight away and he wondered if she were considering his suggestion to keep their eyes closed and stay like this for a little while longer.

This was one of the rare times that he had with Audrina and he wasn’t about to let it go so easily, although he knew it would be inevitable and he would have to. He almost groaned at the thought and he squeezed his eyes shut tighter before he relaxed his lids, he was being foolish trying to keep reality out just by the way of his eyes being closed. He chuckled a little and with a soft sigh he opened his as he decided to face what the day brought him.

[Yunalesca]

Stay asleep was whispered in her ear, making her skin break out in goosebumps at his voice being so near, his breath tickling her ear. It was an easy request for her as her eyes were closed and her face buried up to to her lashes in the covers. If she got up she would have to come to terms with what had happened last night and face the cold day. Here it was warm and safe. Why would she ever want to leave the bed? It's all a lie, you're stringing him along a voice whispered and her eyes shut a little tighter to chase it away. She knew this couldn't go on. She had told them they couldn't be together, but being with him in his bed just being encapsulated in his arms made her want it to be real. It made her want to wake up next to him every morning. Her breathing slowed once more to near sleep level as she tried to will herself back into unconsciousness. With Eli's hair brushing up against the back of her neck and his steady breathing murmuring in her ear she almost did fall back.

It was his sigh that brought her out of the near sleep and made her eyes slowly open, peering over the covers to his window. It was light out, though the day looked to be overcast. That alone made her want to stay and sleep away the day, but that wasn't a possibility. Eli was stirring and she couldn't just stay in his bed alone. As comforting as the thought may be, brows would raise and she may slip back into nightmares without him. Waking up in a room you didn't recognize was panic inducing and she'd had enough of those scares lately. Jace coming in to wake her had been the worst of all as of late. For some reason Eli knowing she had nightmares didn't bother her nearly as much as it bothered her that Jace had woken her from one. She'd always put herself out there as emotionless and cold. People believing she had feelings and worked just the same as them was unsettling. But Eli had already worked his way through several of her barriers and knew what she could be like on the inside. Best of all he wasn't judgmental and was there for her should she need him. It was hardly something she deserved.

"It's a nap and soup kind of day. I'm content with not moving." She said before she turned in his grip and looked into his eyes, reading him. She had thought of him as a philanderer with no regard for a woman, but after looking closer she saw his soul and actually felt its purity. She could see it swimming now behind his eyes and it made her chest tighten in pain. She didn't deserve to be there with him, not with the things she had done and especially not with how she had treated him. Regardless of her feeling less than important she nuzzled her head under his chin and let his arms wrap around her tightly. She just wanted to indulge a while longer before it would all go away. It was a new day which meant she couldn't put the hunt off any longer. She had done as she said she would. Travis was returned to him and he would be distracted with his brother now. Parts of her locked away were still reeling from the near rape, but after Eli held her through the night she managed to keep them boxed away in a safe. She didn't have time to feel that pain anymore. She had to confront something else now and that was enough to destroy her completely.

Her eyes shifted slightly, her lashes brushing his shirt, as she thought about this. Would she say goodbye to him when the time came? If she did it would have to be careful and not make him suspect. Maybe she could catch him on his way to see his brother, feign a moment of weakness and beg for at least a hug from him. It all seemed cruel though it would be genuine from her. The worst part would be letting go of him knowing she wouldn't be back. She took a breath and wiped those thoughts away as well. If she continued to think about it she might cry and he would know something was wrong. "We've gotta get up. Hiding in bed was never good for anyone, half angel or not." She remarked before she did something she hadn't even thought twice about and was mildly surprised with herself. As her head lifted from his collarbone she pressed a delicate kiss on his neck, feeling a whirl of fire from the contact before it was extinguished. She pulled back from him slightly to look him in the eyes, reading his expression as she held her own carefully. This could devolve into something more if she weren't careful and she wasn't sure she could give any more than she already had.

"Want to learn how to make Belgian waffles?" She asked him with a small smile, keeping up a content yet playful facade for a while longer. After breakfast she could revert. Or this was what she promised herself as she had yet to remove her hands from him.

[Serendipity]

Eli sensed no urgency from Audrina to get up and it would have been easy to stay in bed all day with her, of course they might not sleep the whole time, but they could talk some more like they had in the late hours of the night before both falling to sleep. It seemed like they were both quite content to stay put for the time being and Eli liked the idea of sleeping in with her. Just sleeping and talking, and nothing else. He'd never thought he could be content as he was simply lying there with her and his mind was trying to come up with excuses to stay just as they were. However he knew that hiding away with her in his room all day would certainly raise some questions from the others as their absence would be noticed. Jace had already pointed out that he'd been more then aware of their lack of arguing at late and that they'd had private meetings together, and was more then suss about their relationship.

It must have been his soft sigh that had Audrina waking properly and turning in his arms so she could look at him, he'd still been reluctant to wake and get up even though it was what needed to be done. As much as he'd like to, they couldn't hide away all day. Eli loosened his arms around her so that she could turn easily and angled his head so their eyes could meet. There was a smile in his when they met hers, his expression soft though he imagined quite readible as she pointed out that she too would be happy not moving. "No arguements here," He replied.

When she nuzzled her head under his chin, bringing herself closer to him, all thoughts of the reasons why they should get up suddenly disappeared and his arms gripped her a little more firmly, his fingers gently tracing patterns over her back. He was amazed at how easy this all could be between them, there was no forcing this type of intimacy because it came so naturally. It won't last. His mind reminded him non too gently and inwardly he scowled at the voice, he didn't want reminding right now that eventually things between them would go back to the way they had been, or at least that she would set things back to the way they were and he'd have no say in the matter. It disheartened him that they could just keep what they have going, that she couldn't let it flow and see where it ended up.

Eli knew it wasn't all to do with Audrina being afraid that if she let anyone in she would get hurt, he suspected it was a little bit of the other way around as well, that she didn't want to hurt them either. He didn't want to think about the reason why she would think she would hurt him if he got to close, his mind refused to acknowledge it in hopes that perhaps he was wrong and they might eventually get past those barriers of hers. Her words jolted him from where his thoughts were headed and he was thankful for the distraction. "I know," He groaned and buried his face in his pillow for a second before he looked back down at her. "You'd think there'd be better perks of being half angel." He commented lightly and began to stretch out, preparing his body to get up.

He felt the soft caress of her lips on the side of his neck and paused, his skin growing hot where her lips had been and sending small jolts of electricity through his body. Eli dropped his gaze to hers, surprised by the contact, but not displeased and he caught her gaze. His breath had caught in the back of his throat when he'd felt her kiss, but he let it out slowly now as he tried to read her expression. He'd thought about kissing her several times during the night when they'd been talking, remembered how she'd kissed him earlier that day and he her. It was enough to set his pulse racing as he thought about doing it again, distractedly wondering what her lips would taste like again and how they'd feel against his.

But he couldn't, he knew he couldn't right now and quickly pushed the idea from his mind again. It was still too soon after what had nearly happened to her, he suspected she was still shaken by it even though she wasn't showing it now and he would lose her trust in him completely if he overlooked her needs for his wants. Instead he pressed his forehead against hers and gave her a smile before pulling back, untangling his arms from around her so they could both get up. He was stretching again, lifting his arms over his head to wake his muscles up as she asked him if he wanted to learn how to make Belgian Waffles.

His brows quirked in interest as he then shifted himself up against the pillows, the next step to getting out of bed, and a playful grin broke across his lips. "Waffles, I like. Making them, not so much." He answered. "Watching is learning isn't it? I can watch how you make them, then I can eat them and tell you if they were any good." He said, still grinning.

[Yunalesca]

Her hands slipped from him as he stretched out and made it apparent it was now time to get moving. She pulled her hands back and shifted herself with her palms so she was half sitting up on her hip facing him. The action made her wince and give a slight grown as her body protested the movement. The runes had healed her, but they didn’t do much for the soreness she now felt through her wrist and torso. She recalled the glass shards she had picked from her back when she’d showered and rolled her shoulders in response of the flashbacks. Her attention refocused as Eli looked to her and responded to her offer to teach. Her head tilted slightly as a slightly scolding yet humored look crossed her face as his reply. “I suppose we all begin to learn by watching, but the best way is to get your hands dirty. Afraid you’ll mess up your manicure?” She replied smartly with grin before she shifted her weight forward and pressed her forehead to his, their noses brushing as she did so.

“You’ll make them if you know what’s good for you. You’ll not get another taste of my food if you don’t.” She threatened him before her breath caught in her throat. Only now did she realize how close their lips were, how her behavior was like that of a lover. Her fingers curled into the sheets as she stopped breathing and her expression changed. They could close the distance in a fraction of a second and completely forget about getting up. But what that could lead to if he pulled her over him, covered her in his sheets? She took a breath as a memory of Maddox hit her full force. She could feel him dragging his nose up her throat again and it made her shudder, a shudder not of excitement but fear. She drew back from Eli then, sitting motionless as she tried to exert control over her emotions and thoughts once more. She was stronger than this even if the flashback had felt real. Maddox was dead and Eli was beside her alive. She had nothing to be afraid of and yet she felt herself grow cold beneath her sleep clothes. She brought her eyes back to Eli boldly before she could completely extinguish the fear, swallowing the lump in her throat that was forming. “Sorry, flashback. I’ll be fine.” She explained quickly as her eyes dropped away from his again.

Not once had she had a dream about Maddox or the happenings of the night as she was in Eli’s arms through the night, but she had them now as she grew playful with Eli. She knew and trusted in her heart that he wouldn’t take advantage of her or try anything remotely like Maddox, but realizing how he could slip his hands into her hair and kiss her had triggered something in her. She was feeling once again how much safer it would be to stay away from him. I don’t want to stay away she thought in her head as she recalled the warmth in being folded up against him and in his arms. He’d been delicate when he’d carried her to that room in the factory, had been careful in applying runes to her, he was nothing like men who’d wanted her before. She shouldn’t be afraid but she still was on some level even as he broke boundaries and supplied her with an intimacy she’d never felt with anyone before. Don’t think about this now she heard herself soothe in her mind before she turned herself and began rolling the covers back from her legs.

“Time to get out of bed and teach you how to cook so I won’t have to all the time.” She said lightly as she practiced her safeguarding and locked away her thoughts to be handled another time when she was alone. She didn’t want to talk with Eli about it, any of it, right now as the wounds were still too fresh and the bandages on her psyche were applied. Maybe after she had healed more she would be able to open up, but she couldn’t do it now without damaging herself further. Maddox hadn’t been able to finish what he wished to do to her, but to a woman who’d never been with anyone and was still new to this world of intimacy he may as well have. He may not have raped her body, but he had raped her soul as he towered over her and promised it would hurt. She shoved the thoughts further into the back of her mind as she swung her legs out of the bed and let her feet touch the cool floor. When she pushed off the mattress she groaned in pain as her once shattered wrist protested, sending a shock of pain through her arm. She wasn’t healing as fast as she used to, but then she couldn’t recall the last time she had broken her bones or been man handled by a Werewolf.

At the thought her other hand came and pressed lightly to her nose, wincing at the pressure. She had to wonder if there was bruising under her eyes from the hit, though if there was Eli hadn't let on. He still looked at her like he always did, careful to not express too much but obviously enamored with her. It was only now after his behavior in front of Maddox that she realized what that look was that she had been unable to define in the past. She removed her fingers from her nose and turned to him. “Come on, you’re not getting off that easy.” She commented, though her voice wasn’t as jovial as before. Remembering the night before seemed to sap any good feeling from her every time she thought of it.

[Serendipity]

Eli was feeling considerable better after the runes Jace had placed on him the night before and a good nights rest, though his muscles still ached slightly in certain places it was nothing he couldn’t handle. As he watched Audrina push herself up next to him and saw her slight wince of pain, he was reminded that she had been through the worst of it, she’d had a broken wrist and nose, and that was before she’d fallen one story down through a window. If she wasn’t to weary of runes he might have suggested that she take another mark, just to complete the healing process completely. He didn’t enjoy seeing her in pain, though he knew the risk of suggesting she take another rune and he knew coddling her too much also wouldn’t help. It didn’t mean that he wouldn’t worry about her, however. He felt he would always worry about this woman in some small way.

He was still grinning despite her scolding look, he saw the amusement behind her eyes as well as heard it in her smart remark about ruining his manicure if he got his hands dirty. His nails were cut short back to the tips of his fingers, and though they were neat and clean it was obvious they had never endured a manicure before. His palms were slightly roughened with callous and a few small scars from a near decade of combat and training. “I have never had a manicure in my life, and I’m quite capable of getting my hands dirty. I just don’t want to poison you with my lack of culinary skills.” Eli answered with a slight pout, feigning offence at her comment, however he forgave her quickly it would seem as she shifted closer and leant her forehead against his and he smiled.

“Will I now?” He chuckled and smirked. “You leave me no choice then if I want to keep eating without the risk of food poisoning from every meal.” He sighed dramatically. As his gaze continued to bore into hers, their noses brushing at the proximity, he felt the air shift around them again. Her expression changed and he saw that she must have noticed how close their lips were, and he wondered dangerously if she were having the same thoughts as he was. He swallowed, frozen on the spot, even his breathing stopped. His hands automatically came to the back of her neck, the tips of his fingers slipping into her hair and it would be so easy to tilt her head to his, the movement causing their lips to meet. The air shifted again just as suddenly, he felt her shudder and pulled away from her at the same time as she pulled away from him. He let go of his breath and looked away just for a second so he had a chance to shield the disappointment from his expression.

When he turned his gaze back to her it was full of concern at the mention of her having a flashback from the previous night, and apologised for it. “You don’t have to apologise, Audrina.” He informed her gently. He should have been the one apologising, he’d almost kissed her again and he was sure she didn’t want that type of intimacy right now. She should be feeling safe and comforted and not feeling like he might jump her bones with every time she embraced him. He should have been reassuring her that he wouldn’t, instead of letting the moments get to intense. “If you want to talk, you know I’m here. But I won’t push you to.” Eli said, wanting her to know that she could talk to him if she wanted to, that he would listen and even be her shoulder to cry on if she needed.

“Ah...so that’s your plan. Teach me how to cook so you don’t have to, then I’ll have no excuses not to bring you food at your every beck and call.” He quirked a brow, falling back into their playful humor easily. He waited for her to climb over him and get up, when she pushed off the mattress forgetting her bad wrist, he grimaced seeing her in pain again. He watched as her hands came up to her nose as though the pain from her wrist had reminded her of her other injuries, and he was suddenly flooded with anger towards the man who had done this to her and who was now dead. He’d noticed the bruising over her nose and under her eye, it was minimal compared to what it could have been without the healing runes he’d placed on her, but it was still noticeable. In Eli’s eyes however, he didn’t see the bruises as perhaps others would, although he was aware that they were there he stilled looked at her as he always did.

“Okay, I’m getting up.” He announced and gingerly swung his legs over the edge of his bed, he still wished they could stay as they had been, already he was getting the feeling that the moment they emerged from his room things would quickly change again. He pushed himself to his feet and stood next to Audrina a moment, fighting with the idea to try and convince her to stay with him in his room. He ran his fingers through his hair instead and stretched a little more, feeling the ach in his back now that he was standing and wondered if the Were’s boot mark was embedded into his skin.

“Let’s go then, I’ll make you some tea and you can get everything I need to work with out.” Eli said before moving towards his door, he stopped beside it and then turned back to Audrina, holding out his hand. He wasn’t about to let things go back entirely to how they had been before between them, at least not so easily.

[Yunalesca]

She felt her nerves bundling and quake inside her when he stood next to her stretching out the last remnants of sleep. She almost felt her body shake with the vibration running through her. It was like a rollercoaster when she was around him. One moment she was withdrawing, the next she was drawing him in, and then she was wracked with indecision. He hadnt done a thing and he drew these confusing feelings from her. She should be used to them by now, but it all still felt like a new experience every time. She had never allowed anyone to get this close and so didn't know how to deal with the repercussions. She knew it wasn't as complicated as she made it out to be, for she was very good at complicating things, but she was inexperienced. When something foreign came along she usually lashed out while pulling her walls tighter. But Eli was different, he was changing before her eyes, molding into something she -could- work with and enjoy his company.

But when his hand extended to her she felt herself stop breathing, staring at it as she calculated what she should do. She had just spent the night cuddled up to him so holding his hand should be nothing. As with so many other things she was hesitant. She'd just had a flashback to the night before that had sucked the life out of her, turning her somber again, and was being more careful. But she longed for his warmth. Whenever they touched she felt like she was in the land of the living again, not drowning in a sea of the dead memories that continually pulled her down. She heard his voice and smiled a little before her decision was made and her cold hand slid into his, curling her fingers through his like it was the most natural thing in the world though her heart hammered in response. She drew her gaze away from their hands to look at Eli with a broadening smile. "Coffee shall suffice today. I only started drinking tea when I came here. Hodge's English habits seem to have rubbed off. The French would never forgive that." She said as she leaned in closer as though it were some great secret.

She squeezed his hand slightly as a gentle smile was given to him. She turned her head away and reached for the doorhandle, turning the knob and opening the door to the outside world. She should let go of his hand in case someone came along, but found she couldnt as she started out the door and down the hall beside him. It actually felt like this were right, like she belonged at his side. It was a feeling she'd been having more frequently which freaked her out on some level. She had never belonged since her family's death. To fit in now with Eli was something of a shock. She had hated him in the beginning. Had thought him foolish and like every other man, thinking with the wrong head. But over time when he realized she didn't respond well to advances she began seeing something else in him. He let her in to a new side of him and she began returning the favor. She took a breath and let go of it with a mild sigh of content. "We're not making traditional Belgian waffles, so you're getting off the hook a bit. I cheat on occasion." She explained with a wink as they moved through the door to the empty kitchen.

Once inside she somewhat reluctantly let go of his hand, fingers trailing until their fingertips no linger touched. She looked into his eyes briefly before turning away and kneeling down to one of the storage cupboards. "There should be some premium coffee hidden in the back of that cupboard over the stove." She said before pausing in her rummaging and spinning on her heel to look at him. "Don't tell anyone, its my private stash and they'd be all over it if they knew. That stuff isn't cheap." She explained with a smile as though she had just shared a secret. On some level she had, bit a coffee stash was hardly a secret. She turned back to the cupboard and continued to sift through the cooking devices and implements until her hands closed around the heavy thing she had been looking for. A grunt of pain and exertion of strength escaped her while she hauled the machine out and put it on the counter. She exhaled heavily when the metal found the countertop and she looked to Eli. "Waffle maker. I cheat." She said with a smirk before reaching into the fridge for things to make the batter. "Have you at least made pancakes before?" She asked with her head in the fridge and the rest of her sticking out. If he could make pancakes without burning them she might be in luck, though it was hard to mess up waffles with a machine handy.

[Serendipity]

Eli instantly thought he’d made a mistake by offering her his hand when she didn’t take it immediately and merely looked at. They’d spent the night sleeping in the same bed, cuddling and only moments ago had been speaking jovially with each other; wanting to hold her hand shouldn’t have come to so much of a shock as it apparently had. He may have been wearing his heart too much on his sleeve and he wondered maybe if it was too much for her right now. She was just being cautious of giving too much of herself to one person, he knew that and couldn’t fault her for it after what she’d been through. He should be cautious too, but he always rushed headfirst into everything he did, unabashed to show how he felt, and it was a characteristic of his that he couldn’t change easily.

There was one thing, however, that he was keeping close to his chest -literally; his heart beat for her now but it wasn’t something he was prepared to share with her yet. Eli was more afraid that telling her how he truly felt would push her completely back behind those barriers she built up around herself, the timing wasn’t quite right yet to tell her. She’d also possibly think he was insane, they had only known each other a few months, and barely at that. How was it possible to fall in love with someone you still barely knew anything about, or be so ready to accept all of their flaws along with their good qualities without even knowing what they all were yet. He must have been insane, because he was ready to do just that.

His fingers began to fold into themselves slowly and he was preparing to drop his hand back to his side, suspecting he looked rather lame standing there, waiting for her to take his hand. He would shrug it off easily though, he didn’t want to let it put an even further damper on things. He was looking forward to spending the morning with her making breakfast and his mind was still weary from the previous nights events he couldn’t muster the energy to argue with her about it even if he wanted to. As her hand came to his before he could fully retract it and her fingers curled through his fingers, he felt his stomach flutter uncontrollably as well as a rush of relief. Her cold hand warmed instantly in his as he wound his fingers more firmly around hers and the broadening smile on her lips was met with one of his own. His eyes shining with emotion barely hidden underneath.

"Coffee. That's the magic word." He grinned, though he wouldn't have minded making her tea instead if she'd wanted it and despite his mild protests he would make these waffles with her too because it was what she wanted. He left it up to Audrina to let go of his hand once they'd moved through his door. He was pleased when she didn't drop his hand and they walked side by side through the corridor. If she was worried about being caught holding hands with him by the others, she didn’t let it show and kept a firm grip on his hand. In turn he close beside her and kept a steady hold on her hand. As they neared the kitchen he became aware that soon they’d have to let go of each others hand, he would have frowned at the knowledge if it weren’t for her comment about cheating on occasion that had him laughing.

“I see. We’ll its lucky for me then that the occasion is this morning,” He replied, he wouldn’t admit it out loud but he’d been a little skeptical that he could follow her instructions in the waffle making process and would royally screw it up, she may have never trusted him in the kitchen again, he’d become another Isabelle in the kitchen. “I’ll get started on those coffees.” He stated as they entered the kitchen and it was time to move apart. He was reluctant too, and it was absurd to feel that way since they wouldn’t be far away from each other in the small kitchen, but he did anyway. It only appeased him that Audrina also seemed reluctant to let go of his hand, and when she did she let her fingers brush along his to the very tips before completely letting go.

Eli went to the cupboard above the stove as instructed, a little smirk appearing on his lips over the fact that she’d mentioned she’d hidden the coffee away there. He glanced over his shoulder quickly about to reach to open the cupboard as she realised her mistake and gave him a stern warning not to tell anyone about it. “It might cost you…” He started to joke and turned back around to face the cupboard, reaching into the back to pull out the premium coffee she’d mentioned. “I can use some when the others aren’t around.” He said turning back around and setting the coffee on the bench beside the stove before resting one side of his hip against the counter, forgetting for a moment that he was supposed to be making them the beverage as he watched her rummage through some bottom cupboards.

He moved to help her as he saw her pull out a heavy machine, but she already had it out and on the bench before he could offer to assist her. He changed direction and reached up to another cupboard where he found some coffee mugs, glancing over his shoulder again as Audrina pointed out the machine she pulled out was a waffle maker. One brow quirked and his lips formed a silent ‘oh’ before he smiled. “There’s another way to make waffles without that machine?” He asked and grabbed the kettle from the stove, deciding it needed fresh water in it; they crossed paths as Audrina moved to the fridge to collect what she needed and crossed paths again once Eli had finished filling the kettle and moved back to the stove. He smiled a little to himself as he turned the stove on, there had been no awkward dances to get out of each others way and they hadn’t even come close to bumping into each other, they really could work well together and not have to try hard.

At the mention of making pancakes he almost dropped the spoon he’d collected from a draw, it suddenly jolting the memory of the dream he’d had a few weeks ago which incidentally involved him making pancakes. “Pancakes?” He repeated the word. “Ah..yeah, I’ve made them before.” He cleared his throat a little and set about searching for the sugar, but it wasn’t enough to distract him from the memory of his dream. He remembered he hadn’t just been making pancakes, he’d been making them for her for both of them for breakfast, in a time and place he had woken up hoping would one day be real. In the dream though they hadn’t gotten around to eating the pancakes he’d been making, becoming distracted by other things and he remembered carrying her back into a bedroom, her legs wound around his waist. “Easy enough.” He nodded, and couldn’t bring himself to look in her direct as he felt heat form in his cheeks. If she knew he’d had dreams like that of them, it would all go very badly he suspected.

[Yunalesca]

She turned her head over her shoulder and smiled at him when he asked her about waffle making. “There are several ways and most of them are difficult even for me. You’re lucky I’m saving you from it.” She commented before turning back and laying the ingredients out on the counter by the waffle maker. After grabbing a mixing bowl and proper utensils she plugged in the waffle maker to get it heating up while she assisted him with the batter. She couldn’t exactly say why she was doing this with him. She never expected him to cook for her and the art itself gave her a sense of calm even when everything was going wrong. She enjoyed cooking and wouldn’t easily pass the job on to someone else, but she felt that maybe she was just looking for more excuses to keep him close. She wasn’t afraid like she had been last night with the memories and wounds still fresh in her mind, but she was hesitant to let him go completely. They weren’t together and she shouldn’t expect him to stick around her all the time, but the fact he was willing to learn from her and keep her in his bed without expectation of something more spoke volumes of his character. It also reinforced her earlier thoughts of his infatuation with her. Though she could hardly imagine the truth of it.

She didn’t notice the swift change in his voice after she asked him if he’d ever prepared pancakes, getting distracted with trying to pull the waffle recipe from her mind. She could easily find the recipe in one of the drawers hidden away somewhere from when she first came to the Institute, but she wanted to test her mind and training instead. A smile came to her lips as she portioned out the ingredients properly for him. “Most people think pancakes are easy, but rarely are they made well. It’s easy to burn them or leave them doughy. I think Isabelle tried once and made half of them crispy with the other half something similar to a not so tasty cream filled cookie. Not a good experience.” She said with a small laugh to herself before she turned to him, her hands pressed backwards into the edge of the counter as she watched him attentively as he prepared coffee. “At least I know you can do that properly.” She said in observance to his operations before she pushed off the counter and glided towards him.

She stepped up close to him and let her hands gently take hold of his wrists so he had to look at her. That nervous feeling came back as she was unsure of what she was doing though she knew entirely how this could be perceived. “It will make itself. Waffles will not, however. Come on.” She said gently with a smile before she was taking his hands and stepping backwards toward the waffle maker and the ingredients for the batter. Her humored smile didn’t leave her face as she let herself live in the moment for once and forget about her earlier concerns. Letting herself explore things was something new. And everything to do with Eli was explorative considering she’d never had a boyfriend, a lover, or even a close male friend before. Though she was pretty sure at this point she wouldn’t be able to call him the latter. Close friends might be able to sleep in the same bed together, but they certainly didn’t cuddle or kiss or even look at each other in the way that the two of them apparently did. Audrina was defensive about that, claiming she didn’t look at him in that manner, but everyone else seemed to see it besides her. Even Maddox had figured that out within the first minute of seeing them.

She let go of his hands when they were by the countertop, placing them gently on the bowl. “Mixing bowl, the ingredients go in here and you…mix them.” She said with humor as she was aware he likely could figure that all out. “The fun part is actually doing it. I’ve already portioned it all out for you so all you have to do is add them, but make it in the order I tell you.” She informed lightly as her eyes stayed with him. She had made it entirely too easy for him she knew, but as humorous as it would have been to watch him spill ingredients in an attempt to measure them she chose not to. She had an inkling it would stress him out if he failed to do things properly in front of her. She was gentle with him as she had him adding ingredients slowly before having him mix with a spoon. “Most use a mixer for this, but it thins the batter too much. I don’t mind crunchy waffles, but a soft center if perfect.” She informed as he worked at the batter making her smile. “When you’re done, pour it into the waffle maker until you can’t see the plates anymore, close the lid and wait. When it beeps, you flip it. Beeps again, it’s done. Easy peasy.” She said to him as she watched his hands work and grew a little enamored with how easily things came to him.

[Serendipity]

The recollection of the dream he’d had of the two of them had flustered him more than it probably should have and he almost didn’t hear Audrina’s explanation about the deceiving nature of pancakes. He turned back to preparing their coffees so he could distract himself with the preparation and so he could give himself a minute to recover. “At least I can do that,” He nodded absently as he put sugar into his mug then added the coffee grains to both mugs. He was turning around to fetch the milk from Audrina’s side of the counter when she glided towards him and he stopped in his tracks, and a quick glance behind her told him that she’d measured all the necessary ingredients already. Eli felt her hands come to his wrists and his gaze immediately moved from behind her to her face, seeing the smile on her lips was contagious and he found himself smiling as well.

He moved over to the counter with her after she encouraged him to follow and he eyed the ingredients, he recognised the majority of them and decided she'd been right about waffles being somewhat similar to pancake batter. Eli gripped the bowl lightly around the edges after she guided his hands to it and he glanced sideways at her, he couldn’t believe he was nervous about mixing batter. Maybe it wasn’t so much as mixing the batter he was weary of and more that she was about to find out he wasn’t very good with complicated dishes. He classed waffles -waffle maker or not- as a complicated dish. As she informed him he would have to put each of the ingredients in as she instructed and nodded to show he understood and prepared to grab the first one.

Audrina was patient with him through the process, whenever he went to pick up the wrong ingredient her hand was there guiding him to the correct one. Once everything had been added and it was time for mixing it altogether, he picked up the bowly and cradled it in the crook of his arm and stirred the mixture. Since he had the bowl in his arms he turned sideways so that he could rest against the edge of the counter facing her. “Who needs a mixer anyway when you’ve got these.” Eli nodded towards his biceps before he gave her a quick wink. He wasn’t sure how long he needed to stir for, though he was sure Audrina would let him know when it was done, and he guessed it would be when there were no more lumps and the mixture was smooth.

He chuckled as she explained how easy the waffle maker was to use, stating it was ‘easy peasy’. He glanced down at the batter in the bowl in his arms and decided it was done, smirking he dipped his finger into the mixture and before she could know what he planned to do he smeared some along her jaw. “I think it’s done, what do you think?” He asked, taking a slight step back so she could reach him to retaliate, however he had a feeling she’d probably get him back somehow later.

He opened the waffle maker and poured the batter in on both sides as she’d explained how and closed the lid before moving silently to the sink where he picked up a cloth. Running it under the water for a bit, he then squeezed the excess water out and returned to Audrina’s side lifting the material to the side of her face. “You look cute with batter all over you.” He grinned cheerfully as he wiped the substance from her skin.

[Yunalesca]

Her heart had finally returned to a more calm beat as she HD been watching him work with the batter when he commented on his biceps, it forcing her to look down at his arm peaking out from under hi shirt. She knew how strong he was, had felt those RMS round her. He might be able to squeeze the life out of her with his arms, but he was always gentle with her. She felt a slight heat coming up to her face as she realized she had let her eyes linger. Her heart thudded a little louder in her ears as she made herself look away to recover. She hated when Eli caught her staring or when he genuinely provoked her to do so. He wasn't dumb and undoubtedly knew there was something she felt towards him given her behavior, but she was still afraid to actually admit it. Things would change. Her world would be completely different if she did tell him and it frightened her.

She half turned from him and opened the waffle maker for him to pour the batter in when it was ready after explaining to him how it worked in a surprisingly steady voice. It was as she was turning back to him that he caught her with a surprise. A questioning look was on her face at the mischief in his eyes. Her inquisition was answered when he smeared batter down her jawline sending her mouth open in shock. She felt she couldnt do anything as he caught her unprepared, stepping back for good measure in case she took a swing. Her eyes followed him somewhat darkly as he filled the waffle maker with some better then closed it.

When he returned with a washcloth to wipe her face she had already grabbed hold of her revenge unbeknownst to him. She let him wipe the batter from her jaw, letting herself feel his touch before she gently took hold of his wrist and pinned it down while stepping up to him. "Careful, Eli..." She started as she rose up on her toes so their faces were close, noses almost touching. "Don't start something you can't finish," she ended with as she made to kiss him. Just before their lips were to touch her other hand came up around his neck. A crunching sound of an eggshell filled the air and the gooey inside slid down his back as she intended.

She pulled back before they could kiss, laughing at her sly come back while flitting away from him to the sink to wash her hands. As she did so she looked over at Eli with a playful smirk. "Don't start a food fight with a chef. We always win." She said with a broader smile at him. This was easy and she almost felt like they were something as their behavior was light and playful. Before they had asrgued, screamed t each other in frustration. But ever since she had let him mark her, let him be a part of her for a while, things had begun to change. "You going to flip those or what? Wouldn't want t them to burn all because a little egg got on you." She said with a mischievous half grin. She could handle thus for a while longer. It kept her mind from worse things that would surely hunt her soon enough.

[Serendipity]

He’d only been messing around when he’d pointed out that his arms worked better than a mixer, flexing his biceps to make his point as he laughed at the same time and continued stirring. His laughter faltered slightly as he watched Audrina’s gaze move to his arms and something other than humor flickered in her gray orbs. He thought for a moment that he’d overstepped the boundaries in some manner as she looked away to hide what he could only assume was heat rising to her cheeks. The good hearted humor they had going between them very nearly slipped away and it would have been his fault. As he recalled what he said to her he realised it might have been taken as flirting, and in Audrina’s eyes flirting would only lead to one outcome. He had guessed some time ago that she’d never had any type of relationship with a man and therefore was possibly unaware that two people could still flirt with each other with it not leading to anything at all.

Thankfully she didn’t mention anything further on the matter and they continued getting on with making the waffles, that was until he’d decided to smear her face with some of the batter to ease them back into a more playful mood. Eli had honestly thought that she would be rather annoyed at the action and tell him all about it though it seemed she was too astonished to do anything, little did he know she was already planning her revenge. As the batter was poured into the waffle maker and he moved to the sink afterwards to retrieve the washcloth he didn’t see Audrina reach for a spare egg and hide it behind her in easy reach.

Eli was smiling as he wiped the batter from her face, unaware of what she had in store and he didn’t think twice of it as Audrina grabbed his wrist and pinned his hand beside her on the counter. He stood in front of her now, unable to move away though it wasn’t because she had his wrist pinned. As her expression changed and she took a step towards him, his eyes automatically dropped to her lips of their own accord. His breath caught and his mind reeled at the realization that she might actually kiss him, he hardly heard the words she spoke in anticipation of her lips meeting with his, distracted enough not to see her arm lift to come to the back of his neck.

Just when he thought she was going to kiss him his eyes widened slightly as something crunched on the back of his neck and a cold gooey substance began to run down his neck and over his shirt, some of it even slipped beneath his shirt and down his spine. His face contorted at the horrible feeling of the egg sliding down his back and he was too shocked at her idea of getting him back for the batter he didn’t complain when she let go of his wrist and slipped out from between him and the counter to wash her hands at the sink. “That…” He shuddered and slowly turned in her direction, afraid if he moved too fast the liquid would travel faster down his spine. “Is disgusting.” He shuddered again.

Her broad smile and then the smirk that followed after she told him that he shouldn’t have started a food fight with a chef because they always won had him frowning as he considered her words. His own smirk tugged at his lips and he laughed, shaking his head at her. “That was hardly a food fight. But you win this time.” He corrected. He turned back to the waffle maker as Audrina reminded him that the waffles would need flipping, still shaking his head a little. “I can deal with the egg,” He said as he opened the machined and carefully concentrated on flipping them, trying to ignore the egg still sliding all the way down his spine.

Once the waffles were flipped and he’d closed the lid again he took a few steps back from the counter and reached for the hem of his shirt. There really was only one way to stop the egg from spreading further and enduring the gooey substance through the remainder of their breakfast wasn’t an idea he liked. His shirt came up and over his head before she could protest, he knew she wouldn’t like what he was doing. With the shirt scrunched it into a ball he reached around with the material to wipe as much of the egg off from his back and neck then walked over to the sink where Audrina still stood so he could wash his hands and grab another cloth to clean off his skin a little better.. “Now you have to put up with me without my shirt, you’ve got no one to blame but yourself.” Eli pointed out as though that was now his way of getting back at her.

[Yunalesca]

Her eyes stayed with him while her hands were cleaned beneath warm water, a sort of satisfied smirk spread across her lips. She felt she got the upper hand with her payback. Watching the emotion play over his face while cold goo slid down his spine was humoring. she could handle herself and maybe he would think better of wiping batter on her again. Though the way in which he had done that then wiped it off her made her feel more alive. You're cute with batter on you came into her mind before Eli was stepping up close to her while she ewasnt paying attention.

Her eyes were flitting over just as his shirt was coming over his head, the muscles in his abdomen like a slap to the face. She felt her mouth go dry as she couldnt bring herself to look away. He was beautiful, though she couldnt ever get herself to say it. She had seen Alec and Jace without their shirts, to her dismay, but neither were like him. It was almost like his body spoke to her specifically for her. Her breath hitched when he sidled up beside her and began washing his hands.

Only then did she realize she had been staring which in turn made her cheeks flush scarlet. How many times now had he caught her staring? She didn't know why, but she felt mikdky ashamed in getting caught admiring his body when she was vocal in the fact of not being attracted to him. "Your body is easy to ignore. I won't notice the difference." She said with a weak voice that nearly cracked. Her heart was hammering due to him being so close.

She made the distance between them, sliding away and around him to the fridge to gather fruit and whipped topping for garnish of the waffles. Normally she would have made it herself, but she found she could barely focus long enough to remember what she was trying to get out of the fridge. "Be careful, Isabelle mnay be all over you if she walks in." She said as she pulled out the strawberries, setting them next to the bananas to be sliced.

She pulled a pearing knife from the drawer beside her and sliced the bottom off a banana before peeling the skin up. Another trick she had learned in her youth. No stringies if a banana were peeled from the bottom. "There's blueberries in there if you want them. I can't eat them." She commented as she focused her attention on slicing perfect coins of bananas for the waffles when they were done. Rarely were Shadowhunters afflicted with anything, but she had found out as a kid she had an allergy to blueberries that had her in bed with a bucket for two days. They didn't have a rune to help her so it was done the old fashioned way. Wait it out and never eat blueberries again.

[Serendipity]

Eli didn’t let on that he’d caught her staring at his bare chest, it wasn’t the first time he’d caught her looking at him like that, but this time he didn’t point out the fact that he was aware her eyes were on him as he sidled up next to her and the sink. It was satisfactory enough that she was looking at him now, he didn’t need to rub it in her face and try and force her to admit that she liked what she saw; he could see it all over her face. He only chuckled to himself as she announced, possibly more for her sake than his, that she could easily ignore his bare torso and washed his hands in the sink before reaching for another cloth.

His smile was hidden by the fact that he had his back to her now as she hastily moved away from the sink and moved to the fridge. Her weak protest only confirmed that they had made progress with each other over these last few weeks, and more so last night, because usually she’d have growled at him to keep his shirt on or order him to go and put another one on. Before it might have even started an argument between them which would have resulted in one of them storming out and breakfast ruined.

Eli cleaned as much more of his skin of at his neck as he could and rinsed the cloth before setting it aside, his skin now slightly damp but no longer as sticky from egg yolk. As Audrina removed more things from the fridge, a quick glance her way he saw it was fruit obviously to go with their waffles, Eli went back over to the waffle maker as it began to beep once more indicating that they were done. He opened the machine so they wouldn’t burn, but before taking them out he went in search for a tray, flicking the oven on a low heat as he went past it. There was more batter left to make more waffles and Audrina hadn’t quite finished preparing the toppings to go with them.

“Is that your subtle way of telling me that I should put a shirt on?” He asked as she mentioned Isabelle being all over him if she happened to come into the kitchen whilst he was there only in his tracksuit bottoms. He doubted Isabelle would care either way, perhaps if he’d paid her attention from the start she might have gotten it into her head they could have some fun together, but he’d only had eyes for one girl in particular and she was standing in the kitchen with him now. Besides, he suspected Isabelle already knew that if anything they’d only be friends, after all it wasn’t half obvious that he had an extremely soft spot for Audrina.

Eli was removing the cooked waffles from the maker and lining them in the tray he’d found as Audrina told him that there were blueberries in the fridge if he wanted them with his waffles. He didn’t miss her comment that she couldn’t have them, and wondered if it was simply because she didn’t like them. He brought the tray over to the oven and placed it inside so the waffles they’d already made could stay warm whilst he finished off the others. “Are you allergic?” He asked curiously on his way back to the rest of the batter. He glanced at her quickly over his shoulder for her answer, but had a feeling he already knew what it would be. It wasn’t impossible for a shadowhunter to be afflicted with allergies or some other minor illnesses, but it was rare.

He poured the remaining batter into the waffle maker and closed the lid, turning to lean up against the counter beside the machine so he was close by when it beeped. His eyes moved to Audrina as she chopped fruit and prepared a sauce for their breakfast, he was distracted by her easy movements, his arms coming up to fold over his chest in a relaxed posture whilst he watched her work. She seemed much more at peace whenever she was working away in the kitchen and now it made him feel more at peace along with her knowing she was. “Would you like me to go and get a clean shirt?” He found himself asking her softly, he would go and make himself more presentable before he risked her feeling uncomfortable.

[Yunalesca]

When he finally commented she stopped what she was doing momentarily to toss him a look over her shoulder. “Have you ever known me to be subtle?” She said with a voice that minorly held sarcasm. At this point she wanted to keep him guessing since he had been able to read her so well as of late. She used to be a mystery, unreadable. But somewhere along the line after he had arrived that had changed. Your skin is showing she remembered Alec’s voice in her head. It was true and she could have been seriously hurt by Eli as he witnessed parts of her nobody else had. He could have done a lot of things, but he didn’t. Ever since a few weeks ago things had changed. Since he’d kissed her that first time things had changed. Whether he knew how fragile she really was she couldn’t be sure, but she wasn’t about to let him know all that. He’d seen her relatively broken over the past few days, but he didn’t even know the half of her history. And she wasn’t so sure she should disclose it to him.

As she returned to slicing the bananas then doing the same to the strawberries she heard Eli once more, closer to her this time. She didn’t stop what she was doing as she barely thought about the answer. “Yeah, found out when I was little. Nobody else in the family had it. I was pretty sure I was broken or something when it happened. Shadowhunters don’t really get sick and seeing my sister be able to eat them just fine, well that didn’t help either.” She informed, giving him more of herself than she had anticipated. She had always been confident in herself even back then, but when she couldn’t get out of bed and everyone else in her family was fine she thought there was something wrong with her. For a while she had even begun to believe she’d been adopted. Her father had squashed that thought quickly once he figured out why her behavior had changed. He’d shown her pictures of her newborn self right after birth in her mother’s arms to prove it to her.

She nearly dropped her knife after he’d leaned up against the counter and asked her if he should get dressed once more. Having him near hadn’t bothered her, even as she felt him watching her carefully while she worked at the fruit. But hearing him ask her suavely if she was bothered by his mild undress surprised her. Before he would have exploited it to get her to admit something for him, but now he was careful. He was aware of how fragile she was with intimacy at the moment. She stopped and brought her eyes to his, working to keep them from traveling over his abdomen. “No. I told you I wasn’t bothered. I can handle it, though I’m sure that disappoints you.” She said lightly before turning back to the fruit and giving a small smile. He wanted her to want to run her hands over him and a part of her wanted to do just that. But memories of Maddox running a hand up her thigh flashed in her mind again. As it did she lost her focus on what she was doing and sliced into her index finger that held a strawberry in place.

Instantly the knife dropped from her hand and she whipped her hand back. “Shit!” She half yelled as blood began bubbling up through the cut then streaming down the side of her finger. She grabbed for a towel and wrapped it quickly around the wound, wincing and hissing as the cloth met her skin. As she applied pressure she moaned in pain, brows scrunching. She had sliced a nerve and it was sending shockwaves of torture through her hand and up her arm. “Sorry, I’ve…never done that before. It’ll stop in a minute.” She assured as she tried applying the ‘mind over matter’ trick to little avail. Her knife had been sharp enough to cut through bone and she was lucky she hadn’t done that. She took care with her cutlery as she did in preparation of her food, spending time every week to clean and sharpen the knives for easy cutting. “You can eat while I try stopping this…if you’re even hungry after that,” she commented after hissing anew. The cloth was quickly staining red which made her grimace. Who would want to eat after that?

[Serendipity]

e shook his head in answer to her question before she looked away. He hasn't known her to be subtle in most things she did or said, it was one of the few things he did know about her. There were still many aspects of Audrina and her life that he didn't know as there were things she didn't know about him. They were still learning, testing the waters with each other as anyone in a new relationship would. Your not in a relationship, he reminded himself. It was true, they weren't but he couldn't help wanting to be and lately sometimes he forgot that they weren't. Those moments were always short lived, a voice in his head always reminding him otherwise or Audrina would.

"It's very rare," Eli agreed with a small nod after she explained she'd found out she was allergic to blueberries when she was younger. "Blueberries aren't my favorite, so if it helps I won't eat any in front of you." He said once she mentioned her sister eating them in front of her hadn't helped. His dislike over blueberries was sudden, he'd never said no to the fruit in the past, generally he liked them. But the thought of eating something Audrina was allergic too and keeping his distance afterwards incase even small traces affected her had suddenly changed his mind. There were already too many barriers between them and as rash as it was he didn't want yet another one added to the mix.

A single brow arched in her direction at her response to his question but he dropped it quickly when he realised that maybe she was serious and his bare chest really didn't bother her. "It does actually," He replied though his words were barely audible as dispointment sunk in at the fact that perhaps she had really never thought or wanted to touch his bare skin. Eli tried to push his disappointment aside, something he might have easily done in the past but now couldn't quite achieve it. His arms stayed folded over his chest but his posture was no longer relaxed and was deciding whether or not to get a shirt anyway.

The waffle maker beeped and jolted him from his thoughts. Eli turned to the machine to open it and flipped the half cooked batter inside. He was just closing the lid when he heard Audrina cursing and heard the knife she'd been using clatter to the bench. He spun around quickly to see what had happened and frowned briefly at the sight of blood trickling down her finger. She was already reaching for a tea towel to wrap her finger in before he could make a move towards her, however he still went to her as she hissed in pain from the cut. "Let me take a look." He offered gently and reached for her hand, a hint of concern in his voice.

He shook his head slightly as she tried to wave him off by telling him he could start breakfast and not worry about her. He'd always worry about her whether her injuries were serious or not. Carefully he grabbed hold of her wrist to keep it still as he unwrapped the tea towel quickly soaking with blood. His lips thinned as he saw the cut wasn't exactly small and his brows furrowed with concern. "Keep pressure on that. Is there a first aid kit in the kitchen?" He instructed and then enquired about the first aid kit.

[Yunalesca]

Though she had just been thinking about touching him, she shied away from his assistance at first. Her pride was already damaged due to having cut herself. Having him heal her would hurt it even worse. But he wouldn't take no for an answer when she tried to wave him off. As she felt him take her wrist gently but firmly she found she couldn't pull away. Whether it was due to his strength, her weakened state, or something else she didn't know. The moment the towel was lifted from the oozing cut she hissed again, the open air sending a new wave of discomfort through her. With the pressure being alleviated the blood began flowing faster again with no signs of letting up. She didn't think she had ever felt more stupid in her life than at this moment, though she was sure there were other times around Eli she had felt the same. The moment he seemed to be done examining it she folded the towel back around it and squeezed down to slow the blood flow. SHe could feel her heartbeat throbbing in the tip which made her a little unsettled.

"Drawer at the end of the counter. Isabelle was always burning herself when she cooked," she explained before she moved from him and to the sink. She let her wrist rest on the counter while her finger was over the edge, blood dripping now into the sink basin. As she looked down at it she began to feel ill again. Memories of how her throat had burned when she smelled ELi's blood were resurfacing. The moment they did the warning flags were going up again, prodding at her to think. But with all that had happened in the last twenty four hours she could barely hone in on why she had reacted the way she did. Regardless she felt herself paling at the site of the drips splattering across the steel. SHe averted her gaze and breathed deeply to remind herself it was alright. Blood was nothing. She had seen her own blood several times and shouldn't feel this way while looking at it.

She heard Eli rustling through the drawer and and almost sighed when he was beside her again. She heard the top of the kit flop to the counter then the familiar sound of package tearing, gauze bandages coming free of their container. "Just one embarrassing thing after another. Don't tell the others..." she asked quietly as her eyes shifted to watch his hands as he pulled out a tube of neosporin followed by more wrappings. "You don't have to do it, it's gross and unnecessary." She pressed, giving him an out in favor of touching her blood and healing her once more. It seemed he was doing a lot more putting her back together than anything else lately. How long would she let this continue? It couldn't go on forever. He would't wait forever and it was cruel to string him along when she knew she couldn't commit. It wasn't something she'd ever done before and was too afraid to try it. Even if Eli was giving her every reason to.

As he prepared the things to close the wound she removed the blood stained cloth and ran her finger under lukewarm water to get the blood off and clean the site. She watched the stream flow off her finger before she felt Eli's gaze on her. She turned her attention to him again, seeing the healing salve and gauze in his hand. "You don't have to," she reminded him before removing her finger from the water and drying the skin as best she could. Her eyes stayed with him as he gave her an expression telling that he would take care of it for her. "I'm sure you're going to be really hungry after this." She said in disappointment with herself. She was a self sabatour without ever intending to be. Their morning had gone well, she had woken up with him and not been ashamed of it, but now she had likely ruined his appetite.

[Serendipity]

"Accidents happen, don't be so hard on yourself." Eli told her gently as he came back to the sink after retrieving the first aid kit. He set it down beside the basin and quickly flipped open the lid, rummaging through some of the contents and taking out what he needed. His eyes flick to hers as a slow smile formed on his lips, he hadn't mentioned anything about not telling the others. Of course he wouldn't, it would only embarrass her further and embarrassing Audrina was not on his list of things to accomplish. "This stays between us," He finally said after letting her stew a little then unwrapped the gauze bandage he'd found.

He sighed a little as she told him again that he didn't have to bandage her finger. "It is necessary Audrina, unless you want me to march you up to the infirmy so someone else can take care of you." He scolded and brought his gaze back to hers, giving her a stern look before turning his gaze back down to the bandage in his hands. "Just sush." He said lightly and a ghost of a smirk appeared in his lips. He was aware she didn't like being told what to do, yet he was doing it anyway and somehow knew she would listen to him this time. There was no protest from her and instead she ran her finger under warm water to clean the area before he could bandage it.

His eyes moved to her face as she rinsed the wound under water and he watched her, hoping she wasn't in too much pain. She had already been through enough in the past 24 hours. Eli had the healing salve and gauze ready for when she was done rinsing the excess blood away and again reached for her wrist so he could position her hand where he needed. He eyed her warily as she again tried to let him off the hook, but didn't respond with words only another stern look. As carefully as he could he applied the healing salve to her finger and then the gauze followed, wrapping the wound securely but not too tight it would cut off circulation.

"It takes more then a little blood to put me off anything." He said, reassuring her that he didn't think breakfast was ruined. If he was hungry he would eat, and they had gone to so much trouble making these waffles it would really be ashame to waste them. "How does that feel?" Eli asked now that her finger was wrapped up and began reps king the items he'd removed from the first aid kit just as the waffle maker beeped for one last time.

He closed the lid on the first aid kit but ignored the beeping as he placed one finger under her chin and lifted her face up so their eyes met. "You okay?" He questioned now wondering if her slicing her finger had anything to do with how she was still feeling about last night.

[Yunalesca]

"That's good. Hate to waste the waffles on...Jace." She hissed as the cool salve hit the wound before he started to wrap it. She could feel her pulse in her finger growing stronger with every layer he applied, though she bit her lip to keep quiet as he worked. She remembered how guilty he'd felt for getting her in last nights situation and assumed he would feel it again if he hurt her now. She once more tried detaching her mind from what was going on as her finger thrummed in Eli's hands. At one point she jerked involuntarily as a reflex to the pressure on the wound. She sent him an apologetic look when his grip tightened around her wrist as though she'd pulled on purpose. Once he was finished she was reluctant to actually pull away from him, but did as he turned to repack the kit. "Better." She said simply before looking down to admire his work.

At the sound of the second batch being done she expected him to turn away and plate them for seconds or for someone else. So when his finger pressed just under her chin to bring her face up she stopped breathing for a moment. Her eyes searched his in question before he came out with it. You okay? echoed on the air and instantly her eyes shifted away. She was having ups and downs with being 'okay' but didn't want to say that to him. The fact he had picked up on something being amiss in the first place made her a little wary. He could read her much better than he had been able to before which made it hard to hide things. She opened her mouth to say she was fine, but stopped herself as she knew he would know better based on her reaction alone. She didn't want to bring her eyes to him in fear that he would see the ocean of emotions swimming in her greys at this moment.

"What's your definition of 'okay'?" She came out with suddenly, her eyes slowly rotating back to him. She felt okay most of the time, but flashbacks sent her reeling. They impacted her enough to make her forget what she was doing and slice her finger open. She wanted to be fine and try to forget last night ever happened. But that was the thing with what Maddox had done. She wouldn't ever be able to forget it and if there were an afterlife she felt he would be rejoicing in her misery. "Even in death he won. He knew what he was doing. I feel like I'm...damaged goods." She commented without really thinking about the wording of it. She wasn't anybody's 'goods' but it was the only phrase she could come up with. Her eyes dropped again after she said it and suddenly wished she'd kept her mouth shut.

"I don't want to talk about this here. Let's just...shelve it. Try and enjoy our food..." She offered as she felt herself stepping back from the situation. Thinking about it hurt, talking about it was worse. Especially after she had spent time trying to convince Eli that it wasn’t his fault. Every time she looked upset about it she could see the pain in his eyes. She would prefer to enjoy breakfast, somehow after cutting herself, than being set back to the night before. It was draining to block it out. It was even more draining to talk to him, repeat things when he had been there to see it.

[Serendipity]

He could push back bad feelings and memories without too much trouble, his training had taught him how to deal with horrible situations that his life as a Shadowhunter brought with it. It didn't mean that they weren't there, that he could forgot them entirely, it simply meant he could put his efforts into dealing with them in other ways. But with everything that had happened last night and Audrina very nearly being taken from him, his feelings over it were more difficult to swallow. Every time he saw the fear and pain in her eyes since it had happened, he was consumed with guilt and an overwhelming need to encase her in his arms as though that would ensure nothing else would ever hurt her again.

Now as he looked down at her and asked if she were okay, he saw the painful memories flash in her eyes before she averted her gaze and he knew her pain wasn't from the cut to her finger. She confirmed his thoughts when she didn't answer straight away or shrug him off as casually as she could. He felt a sharp pain in his chest that almost choked the breath out of him. He couldn't bare the fact that she had this traumatizing experience to deal with and there was nothing he possessed that could make it all better. She asked him suddenly what his definition of 'okay' was and exhaled slowly shaking his head. He had asked if she were okay, yet he didn't even know what being okay meant after her attack. However he didn't have a chance to reply as she slowly returned her gaze to his and made a comment that squeezed at his heart.

"Don't..." He whispered. He'd seen her regret for using her choice of words immediately, but it was too late she'd already said it. "Don't say that. You're not damaged goods. You shouldn't think that, no one else does." He continued. Eli didn't think she was damaged goods at all and he didn't like that she thought of herself that way.

From the look on her face it would have probably been a idea to just let her comment pass and she confirmed it for him by stating that she didn't want to talk about any of it now. He supposed she was right, it wasn't the right time to talk of such things and it was still too soon for her. "Alright and you're right it's not the time..." Eli agreed as and was reminded of their breakfast possibly burning in the background. He sighed though as she stepped away from him and busied himself with washing his hands.

Eli picked up the kit from the bench and returned it to the draw he'd found it, on the way past he flipped the lid open on the waffle maker. When he came back for further inspection he was glad to find that they hadn't burnt, they were browner then the first lot but still very much on the edible side. He plated a waffle on each plate then moved to the counter where Audrina had been chopping fruit. "Bananas and strawberries on your or just strawberries?" He enquired and filled his plate with banana and strawberries waiting for Audrina's response.

[Yunalesca]

She breathed deeply when he stepped away and turned back to the sink, trying to clear her mind. Her eyes closed as the sun filtered in through the window and warmed her face. It was over and Maddox was dead. That was what she was trying to remember, but it wasn't comforting. Death didn't make it go away. It still happened and no matter how she tried she couldnt just ignore it. No matter how she wanted to she couldnt forget his hand up her thigh or his nose sliding up her throat. She shuddered before she heard Eli once more. Shelve it she remembered herself saying and tried to do just that.

"Both please." She said quietly as she stepped away from the sink and trying to put on a better face. "Let me help." She offered as she stopped up and took hold of the bowl she had put the creme topping in. "Thats enough to make you diabetic, come on." She said gently in an attempt to laugh before turning away with the bowl and starting for the small table in the corner of the kitchen. She set the bowl down in the center before returning to a drawer to remove silverware for them.

She turned her brow up to him before going back to the table and setting it for them. She could forget her problems for now. Enjoy her food, maybe get back to what they had been at the diner.And what were you? she thought to herself as she paused in placing his silverware. They had felt like something back then. They had felt like something last night. What are you doing? she thought before moving to sit in a chair. She was distracting herself with something that was almost just as depressing. She couldnt have him no matter what he did for her.

"You're not forgoing berries because of my allergy, are you?" She asked suddenly as she noticed his plate being devoid of them when he came over to her with the waffles. His actions had been more than kind for some time and she was noticing it more. Why couldnt she just tease this a little longer? Tonight she would go back to her own bed and be done with it. She would stop letting him be concerned with her and focus on his brother like he was supposed to be.

[Serendipity]

Eli began adding the fruit to Audrina’s plate after she’d answered and he’d finished filling his and was about to shake his head when she offered to help, but stopped himself before he did reminding himself that she was going to help whether or not he agreed. He smiled a little, they were both stubborn and he knew if the role had been reversed and he had been the one who had cut his finger he too would have still offered to help and been adamant about doing it too. Instead he changed his shake into a nod of his head and let her help. “It’s all good sugars.” Eli chuckled with small playful roll of his eyes as she hurried him along as he picked up a few extra pieces of fruit for his plate. “You should be encouraging me, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten this well before coming here.” He explained, if she knew what he normally ate when he was just cooking for himself and Travis she would be very disapproving.

He followed her over to the small kitchen table in the corner and set their plates down as Audrina moved away to get some cutlery, it was then he remembered that he’d made them coffee and quickly went to retrieve it. The mugs had cooled somewhat by now, not steaming hot but still warm enough to drink. He carried them over to their plates, setting Audrina’s down in front of her before sitting in the chair opposite with his still in his hands. Concentrating on breakfast was the right thing to do, he thought as he sipped some of his coffee, they could keep any conversation they had over it light and uncomplicated as it had been when they’d eaten breakfast once before at the diner a few blocks away.

Eli took another sip from his coffee before he set it aside so he could pick up his fork, stabbing a piece of banana and strawberry on the end of it. He’d just eaten the pieces off when Audrina asked him about the blueberries, Eli chewed what he had and swallowed a slight shake of his head following. “Of course not,” He said, leaving his answer at that and cut into some of his waffle, giving it his full attention before a slow grin tugged at his lips. “Maybe a little. But honestly I prefer strawberries over them anyway.” He explained and looked up at her through his lashes a little sheepishly.

He ate a piece of waffle with cream topping and banana speared on top then did the same with a strawberry on top after the first mouthful. “You make some good waffles,” He complimented as he ate some more. He was well aware that he had only mixed everything together and then poured the batter in the waffle maker so it could do the rest, she was the one who had measured everything out properly and made sure all the ingredients were right.